Anonymous asked: I know you don't want more AUs, but how would PADME unfuck the timeline? I imagine a lot more efficiently and lot more scarily than all the Jedis put together...

suzukiblu:

Fourteen year-old Padmé Naberrie sews a FUCKTON of Hutt-money into the lining of Sabé’s robe before they escape the blockade, buys Shmi and Anakin and lifts Watto up three tax brackets, FREES Shmi and Anakin, and then “accidentally” handcuffs Qui-Gon to Obi-Wan before the big final battle with Darth Maul. Oh, and DEFINITELY does not suggest any vote of no-confidence at ANY point. 

“Skywalker is too old to be trained,” someone on the Council starts to re-insist after all the fuss is over, and Qui-Gon is just about to snap back at them when–

“DIBS,” Padmé yells, bursting into the Council room past helpless Jedi guards who could not have stopped her if she’d been handcuffed and blindfolded, not for any-damn-thing. “FUCKING DIBS HE’S MINE NOW MY CITIZEN WELCOME TO NABOO ANI HERE IS A LIST OF BUSINESSES THAT WOULD BE DELIGHTED TO HAVE YOUR MOTHER WORK FOR THEM AND A LIST OF SCHOOLS THAT WILL GIVE YOU A FULL RIDE ALSO LET’S HAVE TEA ONCE A MONTH AND I WILL FIND YOU THE GRAYEST GRAY-ASS JEDI TO TEACH YOU ANY DAMN THING YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE FORCE ON THE SIDE. THEY’RE STILL A KIND OF JEDI SO IT STILL COUNTS. HOW DOES THAT SOUND DOES THAT SOUND GOOD? GREAT.” 

Meanwhile, the handmaidens are busy planning a Supreme assassination. They did not require an explanation; obviously the queen knows what she’s doing. Maybe she’ll be Supreme Chancellor next? 

GO HARD OR GO TO THE HELL-TIMELINE, KIDS. 

Frankly this is my favorite time-travel AU.

Have I expressed my love for Black Widow!Karen Page?  Because I am still super fucking committed to that, I wrote a fic series for it like a year ago and I am STILL super fucking committed to that.  I am married to that headcanon, like, fucking devoted, in case anyone was curious.

Anonymous asked: no supernatural on good shows list lottie?

lotstradamus:

well I’m not gonna fucking lie to people

majingojira:
“ panopticblast:
“ queer-femme-romulan:
“ theparanoidpansexual:
“ fialleril:
“ fizzygingr:
“ Didn’t think I’d find myself agreeing with Count Dooku but here I am.
”
Okay but he’s honestly 100% right.
”
Wasn’t this addressed though? In...

majingojira:

panopticblast:

queer-femme-romulan:

theparanoidpansexual:

fialleril:

fizzygingr:

Didn’t think I’d find myself agreeing with Count Dooku but here I am.

Okay but he’s honestly 100% right.

Wasn’t  this addressed though? In the Phantom Menace, Padmé specifically says, “The Republic outlaws slavery-” but Anakins’ mom outright states, “The Republic doesn’t exist out here.” Tatooine’s governing body was the hutt empire, a separate entity from the Republic. 

As for Yoda, his edict of the Jedi order being servants rather than rulers meant that while he could challenge policies set by the senate, it was up to his dispatched Jedi Knights to combat the injustice wherever it could be found, but the Jedi did not have police priveledges so they found it very hard to investigate for proof of corruption, only when they witnessed it firsthand would they be able to intervene, specifically so they would avoid a situation like the ending of Revenge of the Sith.

The Hutts were never established in on-screen canon as being separate from the republic, while Tatoonie is implied to be relatively close too Naboo, a confirmed member world. In expanded universe continuity, Tatooine has always been part of the Galactic Republic, regardless of which continuity. Hutt Space was also part of the Galactic Republic in legends, later breaking away following the collapse of the Empire.

Shmi’s comment about the republic not existing on Tatooine is meant to reflect that because it’s not a centre of power or trade, those in the republic takes no notice of it, do nothing for it, and they’re so far away the population never see anything the republic does affecting anything. In essence, they’re on their own, bowing to the criminal cartels just to scrape by.

If you go back and rewatch the prequels without viewing him through the lens of “oh it’s that lovable old frog that teaches Luke and talks silly” prequel Yoda is actually a giant asshole.

“In the novelization, it is made clear that Yoda, being the oldest and most respected member of the Jedi Order, has essentially made it (and its rules) in his own image over the past eight centuries. There is no debate on these rules, there is no dissent permitted, and it is quite clear that membership in the Jedi Council is contingent upon being a meekly agreeable Yoda Yes-Man, which is why Qui-Gon Jinn never made it into the club. 

“If Star Wars Episode 3 is a Greek tragedy, then Anakin Skywalker is not its only tragic figure. Yoda, for all his supposed wisdom, preaches the virtue of selflessness not because he believes he should help others, but because that’s the Code. The Code now exists for its own sake, and over the centuries, he’s forgotten why. In Episode 1, Qui-Gon Jinn would obviously like to help Anakin and his mother escape slavery on Tatooine, but it’s beyond his mandate, and he’s breaking the rules to save even one of them. Why is it beyond his mandate? Because the Jedi Order has no particular mandate to help people. Its only mandate is to keep the peace and uphold the Code. That’s Yoda’s Code, and when Anakin asks him what to do about an impending tragedy, he gives the most useless advice in history: “train yourself to let go”. Thanks a lot, Yoda. I ask you how to stop a tragedy and you tell me to just smile and let it happen.

“Of what use is a moral code if it does not tell you to help others? That is a question which Yoda apparently never thought to ask. Even in Episode 5, when Luke wants to go save his friends, Yoda counsels him to let them die. It is advice that Luke ignores, to his credit. Yoda is not an evil person, but he is not a caring person either. For him, morality is not about caring for others, but about simply following the rules.The biggest problem with “blind obedience to rules” as a moral code is that the instant someone loses faith in those rules, the whole house of cards comes crashing down and they literally don’t know right from wrong. In real-life this phenomenon is often referred to as “preacher’s daughter syndrome”, where a girl has been raised with a lifetime of strict preaching without understanding, so when she gets old enough to question authority she promptly gets herself into serious trouble. Yoda obviously never saw Anakin’s fall coming, because after eight centuries of indoctrinating Jedi from infancy, he simply couldn’t imagine a Jedi not having the same blind faith in the rules that he did. Love, jealousy, hate, anger are all emotions, all passions, all paths to the Dark Side, but caring and sympathy are emotions too, and Yoda threw out the baby with the bathwater.” - Michael ‘Darth’ Wong, creator of Stardestroyer.net

Seemed relevant. 

Yoda may have basically written the codes because, with his long life, he could wait until his opponents just died and bring up his points again with less disagreement (because he taught the other Jedi, of course). 

I am S W O O N I N G

(via patroclvss)

Tags: star wars these are all my issues with the jedi in a nutshell tbh like i would make the worst jedi i would make qui-gon jinn look like a really stoic and well-heeled jedi which is not to say i'd really be any better at being a sith but i'd rock the dark side of the force like i honestly refuse to believe that dark force users are inherently evil because THAT'S NOT BALANCE AND IF THE JEDI ARE GOING TO BE THIS ABSURD CIRCLEJERK OF EMOTIONLESSNESS AND CALL IT 'LIGHT' THERE'S NO WAY THE SITH AREN'T BASICALLY DOING THE SAME being emotional doesn't make you a sith any more than being controlled makes you a jedi you know who has a+ emotional control? fucking darth sidious you know who has maybe c average emotional control? fucking luke skywalker god for someone who actively disliked star wars until a year ago i have A LOT TO SAY apparently these criticisms of the jedi have been percolating since i first saw the movies at seven i asked my mom said that the first time i watched them i looked up at her and dad and went 'i don't think the jedi know what they're doing' AND I FUCKING STAND BY THAT yoda is a train wreck okay i ALMOST get obi-wan fucking off to be a hermit on tatooine he's keeping an eye on luke sure whatever at least he HAS A TASK but what is yoda doing why is he in bumfuck nowhere why isn't he helping WHY IS THE APPROVED JEDI RESPONSE TO CRISIS 'EXILE' LIKE WHAT IS THAT THAT'S NOT EMOTIONAL CONTROL THAT'S BEING A CHILD HIDING UNDER THE BLANKETS IN THE HOPES THAT THE MONSTERS WILL GO AWAY i mean hey say what you want about anakin but at least he...did shit?

Anonymous asked: I'd love to hear any outsider POV about Empress Amidala verse, people looking at Amidala/Vader shenanigans with great fear and confusion (or maybe they're not confused at all hahaha XD)

suzukiblu:

No one says “Darth Amidala”, but so many people think “Darth Amidala”. Constantly. All the time. They do their good Force DAMNEDEST to never think it in front of Vader, but even if he picked the thought out of their heads he would just be like “well yes, of course, obviously”. 

Vader is so obviously Amidala’s. Like, as loyal and terrifying he was as the Emperor’s fucking CYBORG TANK RUN ON NIGHTMARE FUEL, he is worse for Amidala. Amidala he is HAPPY to serve, and Amidala he did not have to shut down his emotional reactions to survive. Also, like, he’s not missing all his limbs, on a respirator, or in CONSTANT FUCKING PAIN. Like–that helps, definitely. Not being in constant fucking pain pretty much ALWAYS helps. 

Also-also, he does not give two fucks what anyone not Amidala or the twins thinks of him, and so follows all his random impulses and does all sorts of looks-weird-to-people-not-in-his-head shit. W-why is Lord Vader petting the velvet curtains in this king’s office? Why is Lord Vader rubbing the back of his soup spoon against his neck at this very important dinner party? Why is Lord Vader climbing the outside of the Senate building? 

As far as Vader is concerned being Dark means he can do anything he wants, pretty much. He doesn’t need to put on a show of being dignified or do anything to demonstrate that he’s scary or dangerous; he just DOES things and that’s it. People who do not want to be under Imperial rule and people who try to subvert Empress Amidala’s orders RAPIDLY learn how terrifying it is to one moment be dealing with a man who’s playing with a pretty little compact mirror he got from who knows where to a man in fucking MURDER MODE because you said something that could be interpreted as less than entirely worshipful of his Empress. 

And as terrifying as he is, he still spends literally all his time on Coruscant trotting after Amidala like a fucking puppy trying to get scritches. He has literally DIVERTED TROOPS’ MOVEMENTS in the interest of getting five minutes of direct attention from Amidala before going back to decimate the surviving dissidents. 

So yes, the outsider POV of their relationship is FASCINATING. And kind of traumatized, sometimes. Frequent times. MANY times. Oh Force, Lord Vader, please don’t kill us, WE’RE VERY SORRY WHAT WOULD THE EMPRESS LIKE IS THERE SOMETHING WE CAN DO FOR HER. 

seafoamsorceress:

Do u ever not realize how starved for affection u are till someone hugs u a bit tighter than normal and you find that you really don’t want to let go

(Source: roseroyalty, via patroclvss)

@littlestartopaz​ asked for the answers to F, W, X, and Y from this post, sooo here we go.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. 

Answered here.

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

As I believe we’ve established, my writing operates on a very strict rule: the less specific a prompt is, the faster it gets out of hand.  Do I like general prompts like “Hamilton Star Wars AU” that I can write about at length?  Absolutely.  But I also really don’t have time to do a lot of them, so perforce I’m going to say ‘specific’.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

…all of them.  Ever.  Specifically?  Um…nah, I’m going to stand by that.  The more I like a character, the more I want to see them cry over the bodies of everyone they’ve ever loved.  One of my most beloved original characters actually has that exact experience in the canon plot of her novel, and everyone I killed for it were characters I adore.  No one is safe.

Y: A character you want to protect.

I’m going to assume that it’s perfectly feasible to both like making a character suffer and want to protect them, so…yeah.  Wanda Maximoff is the first one to come to mind, also Kurt Wagner, Jean Grey, and Warren Worthington III, John Laurens (I can include historical characters, I do what I want), Grantaire, Enjolras, Cosette, Eponine, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff…Veronica Mars, Logan Echolls…the Animorphs if anyone gets THAT reference…Aerin Dragon-Killer, which is even MORE obscure…Rogue, Gambit, Kitty Pryde, Colossus…this list could go on.

sonypraystation:

i really am a “text me if you need something” person. like unless i have something specific to talk about, i don’t usually initiate a conversation. if you wanna talk just to talk then im all here but dont take me not hittin you up as me not caring.

(via windbladess)

macaroon22:

Adrienne and Lafayette are my otp, 

They were in an arranged marriage, had six children and named their son Georges Washington, after the war Lafayette was tried with treason and arrested, Adrienne was arrested as well, survived the reign of terror and her last words to Lafayette were, “I am all yours.” 

Thats the cliff notes version, but please feel free to read up on her, I plan on drawing other Hamilton ladies, like Martha Washington, Sally Hemmings, Dolly Madison, women are just so bad-ass and amazing 

(via slyrider)

just-french-me-up:

Remember kids, Grantaire followed his dream and got shot along with him

Why are you like this.