the tragedy of anakin skywalker (x)
#no but really#why wasn’t anakin a crechemaster#why did they let him major in stabbing?#star wars#queue (tags @cadesama)
OH GOD NO BUT THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. how did the jedi not think of that?
what is anakin’s biggest weakness? attachments.
you know who needs lots of attachment? babies. small children.
anakin should not have been made to study murder: he should have been put in charge of Small Things. He would have bonded with all of them instantly, and it would have given his life Meaning and Purpose.
He’d bond with the kids, but he’d be able to move on because they are Bigger now and they have to go to the Big Kid Class but he still sees them around all the time, and it finally teaches him how to let go of his attachments??? He’d find a kid that he’s particularly fond of and go to Obi-Wan and say “I have found your newest padawan.”
this could have fixed so. many. things. ;_____;
Heh, and Anakin would keep picking Obi-Wan’s padawans for him, and it would be annoying but damn if he wasn’t right every single time.
BUT CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED PALPATINE WOULD BE his life would be never-ending string of trying to get a hold of Anakin (I mean, would Anakin give him a time of day if he can spend it with small kids who absolutely adore him instead?)
he keeps comming over the years, but it’s always like
BEEP
“Anakin, my boy, we haven’t seen each other in a while—“
“I’m sorry, Chancellor, now’s not the best time. I’m tutoring a class.”
BEEP
“My dear boy, I wonder if we could meet for a chat—“
“Well, it can’t be this week, we’re going to Ilum, but maybe later…”
BEEP
“Anakin, I’d like to—“
“I’m terribly sorry, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan Kenobi answers. The apologetic tone might be just a tad exaggerated. “Anakin is on a trip with younglings, he must’ve left his comlink behind accidentally.”
BEEP
“You’ve reached Anakin Skywalker’s private comlink. Leave the message after the tone.”
BEEP
“It’s such a shame that Council doesn’t consider sending you on this campaign, considering the lightsaber skills you demonstrated when I was last visiting the Temple, Anakin.”
“Thank you, Chancellor, but this is precisely why I need to stay behind. In fact just the last week, the Masters decided I should take over some advanced lightsaber classes, considering senior Padawans accompanying their Masters on the frontlines need the training. I might take the Bear Clan along, make it a learning opportunity for the young ones—“
Palpatine closes his eyes slowly. He knows this from experience; Anakin won’t let himself be budged from the topic of little monsters for at least another half an hour.
BEEP
“Ah, Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin left his comlink behind again, he’s in class—“
BEEP
“Anakin, I hoped you—“
“Oh! Chancellor,” the voice on the other end is distinctly female, and Palpatine recognizes it after a second. Kenobi’s second Padawan. He barely restrains the urge to gnash his teeth. “Um, Skyg—I mean, Master Skywalker can’t pick up now. I can tell him you called? It’s just that he was helping me with forms, and he forgot his comlink, and he’s probably already in crèche…”
BEEP
Then there’s that one time when an actual youngling picks up the call. The less said about his reaction to that incident, the better.
BEEP
“—fortunately, they were all right in the end. But in my opinion, this should never happened in the first place, Chancellor.”
Palpatine snaps awake. Was that… was that anger? Finally, the hours of listening to worthless drivel about Jedi younglings paid off.
“My boy, I absolutely agree,” he begins slyly, but before he can continue, Anakin steamrolls on.
“I think Jedi Order is too deeply entwined in the conflict! I honestly don’t think even senior Padawans should be anywhere near battles, not to mention in command of GAR, but now even younglings are acceptable targets for Separatists and pirates! Master Yoda and I were talking about this lately, and—“
Palpatine swallows a scream of rage with some difficulty.
BEEP
“Forgot his comlink again, Master Skywalker has. With younglings, he is.”
Slaughtering younglings moved to the top on the list of things Darth Sidious will do after taking over galaxy some time ago.
this post keeps getting better and better
More please! Tagging @systlin, @beautifultoastdream and @karama9
That is what the Council would have done if they were smart. Seriously. Here’s Yoda saying Anakin should not be taught because he senses too much fear in him, and it’s fear for the people he cares about, something everyone present realizes fully because when it comes to his own safety, Anakin couldn’t be more reckless.
Then Qui Gon announces he’s training him anyway, someone points out he might fulfill the prophecy and bring balance to the Force, and nobody, NOBODY, thinks that MAYBE giving him a job that’s more about caring than killing might be an idea. Nope. Okay, we’re training him, let’s foster the loose canon aspect of his personalities, make him a war general and keep pushing him into vicious battles to the death. Sounds perfect for his mental health.
The Jedi Council were a bunch of idiots with their head so far up their own asses even a lightsaber shoved up there to the hilt would not provide them enough light to see further than their own noses.I think I got lost somewhere in this metaphor. You get the point.
After ten years, Palpatine loses his patience and decides to change his plans. Fuck it, Skywalker has kids now–two adorable little moppets who can be captured, broken, and twisted into twin powerhouses of the Dark Side. Torture one while the other watches, convince them Daddy doesn’t love them, easy-peasy.
Unfortunately, he fails to reckon with the fact that not only is he going up against Anakin Fucking Skywalker, but that Anakin Fucking Skywalker is the surrogate father/big brother/best friend/cool teacher of ninety percent of the current Padawans and young Knights in the Order. And while the Council might make decisions and talk about the Will of the Force and stuff, those Padawans and Knights only care about the fact that the man who scared away the monsters under the bed–made it feel less lonely and frightening to be away from home when they were small–is now hurting and scared for his own children.
Just like Palpatine always wanted, Anakin ends up leading an army. An army of young Jedi who smash the ever-loving shit out of everything “Darth Sidious” can throw at them, rescue the terrified Skywalker twins, and drag the Chancellor hisownself before the Senate with conclusive proof that he’s an evil Dark-Side-wielding bastard who kidnaps adorable kids.
Attachments FTW.
God, YES
Luke and Leia would have grown up with 500 brothers and sisters of assorted species. Whenever you see Anakin there are 10 kids with him, occasionally actively hanging off of his arms or riding on his shoulders. (Anakin looks downright gleeful about this). Padme thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever.
20 years later by the time “A New Hope” would have begun, Anakin is 45. Padme is the new Chancellor. Luke and Leia are finishing their own Jedi training. 90% of the current young Jedi order calls Anakin ‘Dad’. He has amassed the galaxy’s largest collection of refrigerator art. After that incident with Chancellor Palpatine 15 years back, Yoda was forced to admit to Qui Gon’s very smug force-ghost that he was right. Everything is right with the galaxy.
I LOVE NO FIX-IT META AS MUCH AS I LOVE THIS FIX-IT META
- My Roommate: *plays 'Satisfied' for me for the first time*
- Angelica: ...at least my dear Eliza's his wife, at least I keep his eyes in my life...
- Me: *lays face down on dorm floor*
PSA
If you see someone in a wheelchair stand up or walk, just keep your mouth shut. They either were prescribed that wheelchair and their insurance agreed they needed it, or they became so desperate for the mobility the chair would provide that they paid a lot of money out of pocket (because they don’t have insurance or they have a shitty ableist doctor or whatever).
It’s estimated that around 85% of full time wheelchair users can stand or walk to some extent. Think of it like glasses: the majority of people who wear them can technically see without them, but they reduce pain, improve the quality of the wearer’s life, and enable millions of people to do things they otherwise couldn’t. A wheelchair is no different. In fact, even part time users legitimately need their chair, just as people who need reading glasses legitimately need their glasses. In addition to paralysis, some reasons for using a wheelchair include pain, fatigue, fragile joints/bones, vertigo, and many, many other debilitating symptoms.
Using a wheelchair is already stressful enough as it is, thanks to iffy accessibility. Please don’t add to a disabled person’s difficulties by calling them a faker.
(via primarybufferpanel)
its so weird when people are like “WHY SHIP ROMANTIC WHEN U COULD SHIP PLATONIC” cause dude if i like a ship, im shipping it every way. platonic romantic aesthetic sexual sensual, au where they hate each other and have an intense rivarly, au where they’re dogs, coffee shop au, like are there people who only ship things one way or
(Source: sonansu, via dyinghistoric)
- what she says: i'm fine
- what she means: it's 2 am and I can't stop thinking about the Pied Piper. Initially i thought it was just an old faerie tale but i've been reading up on it and it turns out that at some point in the town of Hamelin, a bunch of children really did go missing all at once in fact a stained glass window in the local church in 1300 was made to tell the story AND Hamelin's written history literally BEGINS in 1384 with the sentence "it is 100 years since our children left." There are a ton of theories about what the piper could actually represent but historians are pretty much convinced that something did take away children en masse in the 1200s in Hamelin and to this day we still use the phrase "it's time to pay the piper." When will we pay him? Who was he???? Like okay I see the theories but what if some flute paying faerie really just led a bunch of kids away in 1284 I cannot get over this.
Ok so we all know that the answer to “Where did Captain America learn to steal a car?” is “Nazi Germany” but I think the more pressing question here is when the fuck did this complete maniac get a driver’s license
Because ok, Mighty Mouse 1.0 is too poor to own a car, too short to reach the pedals, has vision problems, and is a goddamn New Yorker in the motherfucking 1930s, why on earth would he ever have learned to drive?
So this little bastard can’t even tell the gas from the brakes, he gets all beefified, he goes on tour with the USO. Unless one of the showgirls coached him through stalling out a car all over some Hollywood back lot, he still can’t drive. He goes to Europe. At some point, some genius looks at him and thinks “this strapping specimen of American hunkhood obviously knows his way around a vehicle, let’s give him a motorcycle,” and Steve “no parachute” Rogers is like “how hard could this be?” and promptly wraps himself around approximately eight trees at the same time.
So then he’s kickin’ ass, fightin’ Hydra, and it’s just months of Bucky being like “give me the goddamn keys, Steven,” and Dum Dum and Morita endlessly encouraging his fucking insane Fury Road bullshit, like the Howling Commandos just use “grenade” as code for “Rogers” when they’re reporting why yet another truck has been destroyed beyond recognition. Yes, sir, another grenade, I agree, sir, it’s very odd that we keep losing vehicles in the same way, that’s the third this month alone
So then he’s in the future and SHIELD is sorting his shit out, and they’re not going to force Captain goddamn America to wait in line at the DMV, they’re all in complete awe in him and they’ve seen the old reels of him on his bike, so when they issue him his driver’s license without any type of road test they go ahead and give him a motorcycle license tooand steve is like …neat.
Ok so then Bucky is back, shit is settled down, everyone’s heading somewhere and Steve gets in the driver’s seat and Buck’s like WHOA WHOA WHOA are you people out of your goddamn minds?! Why is Steve driving, is this some kind of mission, are we heading into a combat zone, is the plan for the vehicle to get blown up?? GIVE ME THE GODDAMN KEYS STEVEN
And Sam is all “what are you talking about, Steve’s a great driver, I saw him jump his bike over a car once”
And Buck is all “yes but have you seen him use a turn signal?”
And Steve’s like, “Listen, we never needed to ‘signal’ our ‘turns’ in Nazi Germany.”
And after that Bucky always drives.
Fin.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
The guy next to me in a coffee shop is telling his date ‘You know you girls are all liars. Well, not all, but I’d say 80%. More than half.’
‘Girls think they have power over men by using sex as a bargaining chip and they don’t.‘
Now he’s telling her about a ‘psycho’ date he had who started telling him how ‘patronizing’ he was OUT OF NOWHERE
He’s a musician but he says he couldn’t date any of the ‘sheep’ who come to his gigs.
He’s been talking about himself literally nonstop since I sat down fifteen minutes ago. The scariest thing is the girl is listening actively, leaning forward, and smiling and giggling while I’m mentally screaming ‘Run, girl, run!’
Now he’s talking about gig he did for the troops in Afghanistan and how dangerous it was. ‘I could have been shot by a sniper at any second. But I was making people human. I was keeping them from going crazy. I was playing bass and crowd-surfing on my back. We were treated like ACDC. I had a prejudice about the military but you see the armed forces for what they are. They’re good people.’
He’s finally stopped telling her about the military and has gone back to covering every detail of his career. I still know absolutely nothing about his date.
Now he’s complaining about how bad the dancers were at one of his gigs (‘pathetic, ridiculous’).
Now he’s giving her a detailed history lesson on Greco-Turkish military conflict. I swear I’m not making any of this up.
Summary of the rest of the date:
Guy’s talking continues, relentless. Girl’s responses slowly growing more and more lackluster (unnoticed). Finally Guy gets up to use the bathroom. I casually say to Girl, ‘First date?’ A few seconds later, we’re recapping every obnoxious moment, literally holding onto each other, doubled over and gasping with laughter. ‘He hasn’t stopped talking since I sat down!’ ‘Oh my god, I’m so tired!’ ‘I mean, it’s your choice, but I wouldn’t go on a second date with that guy.’ More peals of laughter. ‘Oh my god, I’m so tired!’ ‘Not that I wanted to eavesdrop, but when he said all women were liars…’ ‘I know, right? I couldn’t believe it! I didn’t want to offend him, but…’ And so on. Finally: ‘Shh, here he comes.’
We straighten up and I pretend to be working on my laptop. Guy comes back to the table and they leave together. She waves at me behind his back.
(via leupagus)
my baby
I don’t understand why there are people who don’t like Harry as a character like do you hate life
PS I know he’s not perfect but perfect characters are boringSeriously. I don’t get it at all. It makes me mistrust them.
His imperfections make him all that more perfect, though. :D
Well, I won’t say that I don’t like Harry, because I do. I like him as a person. But as a character, I don’t find him particularly appealing (*gasp*). I come to fiction for the morally ambiguous characters (shocker, right?), or the villains. I find fiction to be a safe way to explore these types of people, and I typically just find them more interesting.
Harry’s a good person, an amazing one really, even with his flaws (which, yes he does have quite a few). He’s the type of person that I would love in real life, but in fiction he’s just not what I’m into. Good people (both in fiction and in real life) behave in very predictable ways. They’re always going to do the right thing, so to speak. There’s no suspense. There’s no speculation. You know what motivates them.
It’s like the quotation, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” I feel this is true of characters as well. Good characters are all good in the same way, while unhappy characters are all unhappy in their own way. Of course this is simplistic and there are huge exceptions to this rule, but as a general rule it’s worked for me.
We’re coming from opposite ends, I guess. :) I don’t find “good” characters (And I’m not all that interested in dividing characters into good and evil. A
gift writer makes labels like that irrelevant.) less interesting or less complex. The opposite in fact. I love exploring the tension between doing what’s right vs doing what’s easy. Watching characters who have the core of empathy I need to find them relatable struggling to make positive ethical choices in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles. The right thing isn’t always obvious, it’s not always the same thing. The right thing can be incredibly complex and is often tinged with a helping of not so right. Look at Harry, using two of theUnforgiveables in his quest to defeat Voldemort. Look at Katniss manipulating the system at the end of Mockingjay.Heroes in fiction are just as diverse as
villains, if you’re going to use thoselables . Ron is a very different character thanHarry, than Hermione, than Dumbledore, than Snape, yet they are all heroic in their own ways. (While villains tend to be very sameyimo .Weaker writers will write heroes as one dimensional and predictable, sure. But good writers write complex characters who are all equally interesting and psychologically believable, regardless of where they fall on the ethical spectrum. JKR is a good writer, as far as characterisation goes. As far as the characterisation of her most visible and important characters, anyway.
And the scene depicted above.
Well it didn’t happen in the books, so I’ll say the choice Harry makes that this scene depicts. I find it so fucking beautiful. What he’s willing to give, what he’s willing to sacrifice for love. It’s not an easy choice, even if everything we’ve learned about Harry thus far makes it somewhat predictable.The world is full of villains. If I want to explore human evil, I just read a newspaper. I need characters like Harry to feed my soul, to give me something to aspire to, to give me hope in humanity.
This is everything I’ve been trying to convey for years.
(Source: ankainskywalker, via lupinatic)
