systlin:

helloitsbees:

earlhamclassics:

thoodleoo:

thoodleoo:

there’s a lot of evidence that the iliad and the odyssey were actually composed by a variety of poets through an oral tradition rather than just by one poet, so what if the homeric texts are actually just a very long game of D&D

homer, the dm: okay achilles, agamemnon has just taken away your war prize, what do you want to do
achilles’ player: i roll to have a diplomatic conversation with agamemnon
achilles’ player: *rolls a 1*
homer: you throw the staff of speaking at agamemnon’s face and storm off to sulk with your boyfriend

Homer, the DM: Your beautiful Patroclus is dead. What do you do?
Achilles’ player: I fight everyone.
Homer, the DM: You can’t fight everyone. How would you even–
Achilles’ player: *rolls a 20* I fight everyone.
Homer, the DM: *sighs* Fine. You cut a path through the Trojan army, enemy dead strewn in your wake.
Achilles’ player: How many?
Homer, the DM: …lots. Enough to clog the friggin’ river with bodies.
Achilles’ player: I fight the river.
Homer, the DM: You. can. not. fight. the. river.
Achilles’ player: *reaches for dice*

Homer, the DM: Okay guys, so the war’s over, you had a bunch of losses but you won in the end. Time to go home, let’s roll to see who gets there firs—

Odysseus’s player: I got a critical failure.

Homer, the DM; “Ok seriously guys they’re not going to fall for the giant horse.”

Odysseus’ player; “I just rolled a nat 20 on my deception check.”

Homer, the DM; “What the fuck.”

(via skymurdock)

thoodleoo:

thoodleoo:

so in my greek class we were talking about oral composition and how something like the iliad must have been composed, and my prof asked us to consider how we would rapidly compose something like poetry on the spot. and i think it was a really important exercise not just for understanding the construction of an oral epic but also for reminding us of how great works can come from supposedly “humble” origins. so if anyone is ever snobby about their homer, just remind them that, as my professor put it, the iliad is basically ancient freestyle rap, and homer is much closer to jay z than to f. scott fitzgerald

basically what i’m saying is please imagine homer asking someone to give him a beat on the lyre and then dropping the sickest fucking meter ever. the ill-iad, by lil homie

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

wildehacked:

fromtokyotokyoto:

gotou-kiichi:

marchionessofmustache:

kzinssie:

the thing you need to realize about localization is that japanese and english are such vastly different languages that a straight translation is always going to be worse than the original script. nuance is going to be lost and, if you give a shit about your job, you should fill the gaps left with equivalent nuance in english. take ff6, my personal favorite localization of all time: in the original japanese cefca was memorable primarily for his manic, childish speaking style - but since english speaking styles arent nearly as expressive, woolsey adapted that by making the localized english kefka much more prone to making outright jokes. cefca/kefka is beloved in both regions as a result - hell, hes even more popular here

yes this

a literal translation is an inaccurate translation.

localization’s job is to create a meaningful experience for a different audience which has a different language and different culture. they translate ideas and concepts, not words and sentences. often this means choosing new ideas that will be more meaningful and contribute to the experience more for a different audience.

There was an example during late Tokugawa period in Japan where the translator translated, "Я люблю Вас” (I love you), to “I could die for you,” while translating  Ася, ( Asya) a novel by Ivan Turgenev. This was because a woman saying, “I love you,” to a man was considered a very hard thing to do in Japanese society.

In a more well-known example,  Natsume Soseki, a great writer who wrote, I am a Cat, had his students translate “I love you,” to “the moon is beautiful [because of] having you beside tonight,” because Japanese men would not say such strong emotions right away. He said that it would be weird and Japanese men would have more elegance.

Both of these are great examples of localization that wasn’t a straight up translation and both of these are valid. I feel like a lot of people forget the nuances in language and culture and how damn hard a translator’s job is and how knowledgeable the person has to be about both cultures. [x]

Important stuff about translation!

Note that you can apply this to your own translations even if they aren’t big pieces of literature or something. Don’t feel bad about not translating word for word. An everyday sentence may sound odd translated literally - it’s okay to edit a little bit so it feels right!

Oh my god, I’m about to go on a ramble, I’m sorry, I can’t help it, the inner translation nerd is coming out. I’m so sorry. The thing is–there is actually no such thing as an accurate translation.

 It’s literally an impossible endeavor. Word for word doesn’t cut it. Sense for sense doesn’t cut it, because then you’re potentially missing cool stuff like context and nuance and rhyme and humor. Even localization doesn’t really cut it, because that means you’re prioritizing the audience over the author, and you’re missing out on the original context, and the possibility of bringing something new and exciting to your host language. Foreignization, which aims to replicate the rhythms of the original language, or to use terminology that will be unfamiliar to the target culture–(for example: the first few American-published Harry Potter books domesticated the English, and traded “trousers” for “pants”, and “Mom” for “Mum”. Later on they stopped, and let the American children view such foreignizing words as “snog” and “porridge.”)–also doesn’t cut it, because you risk alienating the target readers, or obscuring meaning. 

Another cool example is Dante, and the words written above the gates of hell: Abandon hope, all ye who enter here. 

In the original Italian, that’s Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate. Speranza, like most nouns in latinate languages, has a gender: la. Hope, in Italian, is gendered female. Abandon hope, who is female. Abandon hope, who is a woman. When the original Dante enters hell, searching for Beatrice, he is doomed, subtly, from the start. That’s beautiful, subtle, the kind of delicate poetic move literature nerds gorge themselves on, and you can’t keep it in English. Literally, how do you preserve it? We don’t have a gendered hope. It doesn’t work, can’t work. So how do you compensate? Can you sneak in a reference to Beatrice in a different line? Or do you chalk her up as a loss and move onto the next problem?

You’re always going to miss something–the cool part is that, knowing you’re going to fail, you get to decide how to fail. Ortega y Gasset called this The Misery and Splendor of Translation. Basically, translation is impossible–so why not make it a beautiful failure? 

My point is that literary translation is creative writing, full of as many creative decisions as any original poem or short story. It has more limitations, rules, and structures to consider, for sure–but sometimes the best artistic decision is going to be the one that breaks the rules. 

My favorite breakdown of this is Le Ton Beau De Marot, a beautiful brick of a translator’s joke, in which the author tries over and over again to create a “perfect” translation of “A une Damoyselle Malade”, an itsy bitsy poem Clement Marot dashed off to his patron’s daughter, who was sick, in 1537. 

This is the poem: 

Ma mignonne,
Je vous donne
Le bon jour;
Le séjour
C’est prison.
Guérison
Recouvrez,
Puis ouvrez
Votre porte
Et qu’on sorte
Vitement,
Car Clément
Le vous mande.
Va, friande
De ta bouche,
Qui se couche
En danger
Pour manger
Confitures;
Si tu dures
Trop malade,
Couleur fade
Tu prendras,
Et perdras
L’embonpoint.
Dieu te doint
Santé bonne,
Ma mignonne.

Seems simple enough, right? But it’s got a huge host of challenges: the rhyme, the tone, the archaic language (if you’re translating something old, do you want it to sound old in the target language, too? or are you translating not just across language, but across time?) 

Le Ton Beau De Marot is a monster of a book that compiles all of Hofstader’s “failed” translations of Ma Mignonne, as well as the “failed” translations of his friends, and his students, and hundreds of strangers who were given the translation challenge (which you can play here, should you like!) 

The end result is a hilarious archive of Sweet Damosels, Malingering Ladies, Chickadees, Fairest Friends, and Cutie Pies. It’s the clearest, funniest, best example of what I think is true of all literary translations: that they’re a thing you make up, not a thing you discover. There is no magic bridge between languages, or magic window, or magic vessel to pour the poem from one language to another–translation is always subjective, it’s always individual, it’s always inaccurate, it’s always a failure. 

It’s always, in other words, art. 

Which, as a translator, I find incredibly reassuring! You’re definitely, one hundred percent absolutely, gonna fuck up. Which means you can’t fuck up. You can take risks! You can experiment! You can do cool stuff like bilingual translations, or footnote translations! You write your own code of honor, your own rules that your translations will hold inviolable, and fuck it if that code doesn’t match everyone else’s*. The translations they hold inviolable are also flawed, are failures at the core, from the King James Bible right on down to No Fear Shakespeare. So have fun! It’s all in your hands, miseries and splendors both. 

Speaking as someone who’s fucked around with a couple languages and translating them into English, nothing has ever driven this home as hard as translating the Aeneid, or Terence. One word in Latin can require ten to explain it, or have five possible translations. So if you want to preserve the drama (Aeneid) or the humor (Terence) there’s a lot of creative thinking that has to go into it.

(Source: dj-bayeux-tapestry)

roman republican politicians ranked by bangability

quigonejinn:

thoodleoo:

caesar
a lot of people think caesar was hot and while he’s probably one hell of a power bottom (every woman’s husband and every man’s wife as the romans said), he also apparently was really weirdly obsessed with removing all of his body hair?? i mean clearly he got around so he was probably bangable but i don’t know how i feel about this. VI/X isn’t being bald on top of your head enough for you julius

mark antony
do i even need to talk about mark antony? he’s ancient rome’s greatest slut and proud of it, you know he’s bangable. just don’t marry him because you never know when he’ll end up divorcing you and becoming an enemy of the state so he can hang out with cleopatra. X/X slut machine

brutus
honestly historical brutus was kind of a turd and his pillow talk is probably really depressing because he feels all this pressure to be like his king-banishin’ monarchy-smashin’ republic-foundin’ super-ancestor. like ‘waaaah i gotta go kill caesar because blah blah republic’ the republic was failing anyway who cares can we talk about something other than your inferiority complex. II/X extorting provinces isn’t sexy, brutus

pompey the great
i guess pompey might have been sexy at one point in his youth but every time i think of him i can’t help but laugh at this stupid fake alexander the great hair and that doesn’t really make him very bangable in my eyes. IV/X please stop with the weird alexander fanboy thing

crassus
let’s be real, crassus probably only has sex in the missionary position and almost definitely comes first. he’s got all that money but is it worth it??? III/X probably still worth the money though

clodius pulcher
his name literally means clodius hot boi so like, there’s not even an argument there, you know this guy is smokin. the only problem is that he was a TREMENDOUS dumbass half of the time and loved to pull shit like sneaking into women-only festivals like an idiot so you just have to watch out for his nonsense. IX/X bang him and leave before he does something sacrilegious and gets you condemned to tartarus

cicero
alright, now i know some of you are reading this and immediately thinking “sarah thoodleoo, please tell me you’re not going to say cicero is bangable because that is one step too far even for you,” but i need you to hear me out, okay? first of all, cicero is an orator so you know he’s good with his tongue. second, he was named a pater patriae, so you know he’s daddy material. maybe he’s not the best bang in the late republic, but he’s not the worst either. V/X i’m sorry if i made you unwillingly think of cicero as a daddy but in fairness this isn’t the first time i’ve said that so i don’t know what you expected

cato the younger
like having sexy with crassus but with none of the money and all of the extra discomfort of listening to him rant about the good ol days while you’re trying to sleep and not think about how dissatisfied you are. -I/X stoic more like stoi-ick

@babeltwo @vrabia

@lathori

(via ifeelbetterer)

copperbadge:

dukeofbookingham:

hanadoodles:

a song called ‘disco inferno’ just came up on my dash and i automatically registered it as “i learn by means of hell” before i realised the title was actually english and not latin

“I learn by means of hell,” forthcoming rap album from Doctor Faustus

When we figured out that’s what Disco Inferno meant (we translated it as “I learn through suffering”), it became the motto of our Latin class at college, and the unofficial motto of my undergrad. 

(Source: hanadoodles-archive, via lupinatic)

Anonymous asked: Ego sum perlaetus ti lectito "Secrete Historium"! Est unum mi gratus libri. Loquor de libri, ego habeo duo libri de "Winnie Il Pu." Mi finis est ut lego illis.

Habebatis tu adipisci mi ultimus nuntius? Ego empticius verus Latine dictionarium nunc. Est a MCMXLVIII! Ego spes mi Latine emendo.

Corculum!  Nuntium ultimum tui accipiebam, sed occupatissima sum–thesem scribo.  Aliquando ultra lassa sum, Latineque laboriosus est.  Et librum tuum optimum esse puto!  Aliqua in domo mea, “Harry Potter et Philosopi Lapis” Latine habeo, sed lego non diu.  

Si vis, modicum Latinum te docere possum?  Ego etiam discipula sum, sed scriptos Ciceronis Virgilisque legere possum, et grammaticam Latini scio.

inactiveblogger:

me learning a language: wow! this is so easy!

verb conjugation:

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

Anonymous asked: Ti non opus est tibi scio Latine legere "Secrete Historium" Est cur ego sum doctrina Latine, vel saltem temptabundus ut. Et ego sum usus Google Translate ET Latine dictionarii.

Eeep, corculum, tibi gloria est!  Latine amo valde, semperque aliquem Latine discere laetissima sum!  “Historiam Secretem” certus legem, album “Libri Lege” addo.

Anonymous asked: Habeo tu pellego "The Secret History"? Est ego novi "cubitum eamus."

Non legi!  Bene est?  Optime est?  “Historiarum Secretum” legere cogiti, sed valde occupata sum.  Si mihi commendare vis, non necesse Latine dicis–itane aliquis legere velle possunt?

Anonymous asked: Ego sum gaudeo possum ego auxilium.

Aw, corculum, te dulcissimum es.