rant incoming in 5…4…3…2…1
It always pisses me off whenever fic writers forget that Steve Rogers also had a shit-ton of Bad Things to happen to him or at least marginalize it because Bucky had it worse.
Look, I’m not arguing that it isn’t true. Bucky’s definitely had the worst end of the whole deal so this isn’t and this shouldn’t be a contest in which, “Your pain and experience is worse, so you should get help and we’ll just ignore the other guy.”
Consider the shit Steve’s gone through:
a. Has PTSD. Possible suicidal tendencies. Depression.
b. Has no other family or relatives to go home to - by the time Steve wakes up, any possible support system he might have had is long gone. The Commandos are either dead or too old. Peggy Carter is the same. Bucky, of course, is out of the picture. Steve has never come home from his war. Never.
c. Was apparently isolated by SHIELD in the first few days of his awakening and then pretty much manipulated into joining the group. Also, the first thing SHIELD does to him is lie. Nick Fury also lied to him about Phase 2 and while I don’t doubt Fury’s got better intentions than someone like Alexander Pierce…. that is not a good way to treat a man who’s led covert ops and been around spies in freakin’ World War II.
d. SHIELD is actually HYDRA and has been torturing and brainwashing and fucking over Steve’s Best Friend and Only Family. So basically, Steve died for nothing.
e. The entirety of the whole Winter Soldier mess.
f. Everything special about you came from a bottle. I honestly think those words still haunt Steve, especially in the wake of the whole Winter Soldier shitstorm.
g. Is still expected to be Captain America, beacon of hope and justice and right and he still pushes on, even as he deals with a world that’s vastly different from what he knows, with people who constantly remind him that he’s out of touch and out of sync, even if it’s in a good-natured, teasing way, even as he comes to grips with the fact that Bucky, his best friend, will never be the man he’s known and the fact that he should have jumped after his friend on the train, even as Bucky, with his memory all FUBAR’d, jumped after him on the helicarrier. TL;DR - Steve deals with a poison stew of grief and guilt and anger on a daily basis.
Seriously, the only one I’ve seen who pretty much just comes close to understanding the crap he’s gone through is Sam Wilson. Who gets that it’s not a contest of who got the worst experience - just recognizes that Steve is also in pain and hurting and shouldn’t be shuffled aside and told to “walk it off” because Bucky is the tortured POW, not him. TL;DR: Steve Rogers also needs a hug. A LOT of hugs. A LOT of kindness and understanding. Especially from the people who are supposed to be his friends.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
