lightsaroundyourvanity:

haelstorm:

lightsaroundyourvanity:

haelstorm:

haelstorm:

my sexuality is that shot in the opening of xena: warrior princess of lucy lawless turning toward the light with wind flowing through her hair, looking more beautiful than any human being has a right to look

like what the fuck!!!!!!!!!

i knew exactly the moment you were describing in an instant but thank u for providing a pic anyway bc……. what radiance!? what splendour.

and the picture doesn’t even do it justice like……….. it doesn’t capture the movement, the way she turns, her face before she smiles, the music playing in the background……. lucy lawless is a gift

naaaa na naaa na NAAAAAA

(via notahotlibrarian)

barrydeutsch:

eusamie:

masterdwalin:

recreationalcannibalism:

goldenheartedrose:

prosthetical:

goldenheartedrose:

withthesecinderedbones:

zombiecazz:

hencegoodfortune:

a-singer-of-songs:

i-will-not-be-caged:

bmwiid:

drst:

brutereason:

I had a realization the other day that seems obvious in retrospect, but I hadn’t put these two things together before.

I was telling my mom that I’m kind of dreading having a private practice someday because it’ll mean working lots of late nights to accommodate my clients’ schedules and make enough money, and as I know from working 12-8 last year, that’ll wreck my social life. She was like, “So you’ll have a social life on the weekends.” And I’m like, and what, spend every weekday night alone in my apartment because it’s too late to go out and see people? She gave me this knowing look and was like, “Well, hopefully you won’t be *alone*…”

That’s when it hit me that this thing–this whole monogamous couple/nuclear family ideal thing–directly enables work to take over our entire lives. Because, yes, if I had someone living in my house–in my bedroom, even–who prioritizes me higher than anyone else in his (because, let’s face it, it would always be a he in this scenario) life, who doesn’t sleep with or date any other people, who treats his free time as our shared time, who drops plans with friends or family the moment I need him, who convincingly promises to never leave me–if I had someone like that, and if I believed in that fantasy, then yes, I’d be fine working late every night and coming home at 9. I could see my friends on weekends sometimes, but I wouldn’t *need* to because I’d never be lonely or bored.

Because however you look at it, cultivating and maintaining a group of friends and a broader social circle or community takes more effort–especially more *intentional* effort–than cultivating just one person with whom you share your life. When we have to work unreasonable hours just to get by, guess which one’s more likely to fall by the wayside?

No wonder it feels like my like-minded friends and I are constantly wading through waist-deep snowdrifts. It’s not set up to work the way we want it to. Yes, life would be easier if I had someone who is always a few yards (or less) away from me when we’re not at work and who can provide romance, friendship, emotional support, entertainment, household help, financial assistance, AND hot sex (and maybe eventually co-parenting) without me ever needing to seek out other people or even leave the house. But that’s…horrifying.

Remember that the nuclear family ideal (husband/wife/child as the entire family unit) is an aberration of the 20th century. Everyone else in the world for almost all of human history has lived in large groups, either tribes or extended families, usually a blend of both. When a woman married she joined her husband’s family, or he joined hers, but humans have generally always lived in large groups with multiple generations sharing space for all of our history.

Our western experiment with making two people entirely dependent on each other for all of the emotional support normal people get from a large extended family group is part of the reason we’ve got a high divorce rate. One person isn’t enough to sustain another entirely.

I think as well, this is why so many single people (like me!) get so damn LONELY. 

I recently bought a house (by myself) and I pay all the bills, buy all the food, ect, because it’s just me that lives here. 

And at night, I’m so fucking LONELY. My coupled friends don’t get it, they want some peace and quiet to get away from the kids, or the hubby - and when I say “I’m so bored” they don’t get it. 

My ONLY FACE-TO-FACE interaction is at work. 

That’s it. If I don’t make the effort to go out at weekends, I see no one.

Sure, I can talk to people on the phone, and I have online friends… but you know, I don’t remember the last time I got a hug?

Yup. I went to a coworker who I’m close to the other day and asked for a hug because I couldn’t remember the last time I touched another human being. Dog cuddles can only take me so far.

Holy shit, it’s what I’ve been saying the whole time.  I’m super introverted, but I /need/ people around me.  I will go to coffee shops just to talk to the barista and hear people around me, because I get so lonely.  I routinely turn into a clingy, touchy-feely person when I’m home because that is the only place I get hugs.  Do you know how many times I have become just… absolutely depressed and unhappy, just because I want a fucking hug and there’s no one to hug?  There was this admin assistant when I started here and she and I talked a lot and I’d go by her office just to say hi, and she would always, ALWAYS give me a hug.  And then she left, and now I don’t get hugs.  Which maybe seems like a weird thing to be upset about, but I am, routinely.

People ask me how I put up with having a roommate all the time, and why I don’t just live by myself rather than playing roommate roulette and maybe getting a bad roommate (hasn’t happened so far, though).  It’s because I go CRAZY when I live alone.  Sure, having the cats around helps, but I seriously DO NOT deal well living by myself.  I’ve tried it, and I can handle it for about three weeks to a month, but after that it starts to really wear on me, especially if I’m dealing with a lot of stress or something at school/work.  I often joke that I don’t care if I ever get married, but I would be super psyched if someone I really liked (or multiple someones, even better) and got along with wanted to be roommates forever and ever so at least I’d know I wouldn’t be alone.

Right, this. Positive social contact, including friendly touch, is a thing that most-to-all humans very much need. I’m both pretty solitary and pretty good at keeping my chin up even when things aren’t ideal, but when I look back at my life the unhappiest part of it by far was the part where I was most isolated. And I’ve never even had to deal with living alone, so who knows how I’d handle that.

And, honestly, that expectation – on a societal level! – that everyone will find one person and basically build a life around them and only them…like OP said, I find that pretty horrifying. Especially when the dominant socially acceptable alternative is the aforementioned intense loneliness. Good grief.

So to summarise - working full time long hours plays havoc with having a social life.

We need a social life or we get sick and lonely.

Therefore we should stop working long hours and use our free time to cultivate friendships.

Sound freaking excellent idea to me.

If we actually had enough space for all of us I’ve said more than once that I could live with my siblings forever. Right now there’s five people and two emotionally best cats living in our three bedroom house so it’s not great.

But with enough room? Sign me up

My sister and her best friend lived next door to each other in their apartment building for a few years and it was great for them. A few nights a week they’d make dinner together or go out and do something. They watched certain shows together, splitting the cost of cable so it was actually affordable. The rest of the time they had their own space and could hang out with their boyfriends whenever. Even their cats went back and forth between the apartments.

Tl;dr I could happily live in the same apartment building with a few of my friends forever.

@prosthetical and I have continually been talking about a very similar arrangement for years now.

Rose I am still 1000% serious about this. I want to live in a small queer/trans/neurodivergent commune. Like a duplex or triplex or quadplex or something similar.

Plz come here. I can’t handle living WITH your kids but I would be happy to live near them.

I swear this will be a thing. I mean obviously not now but like.. I for real want this to be a thing.

THIS THIS THIS.

I have to have communal living spaces. Living alone may work for some people but I think it’s toxic for most. Having a partner, if that’s your thing, is wonderful and it provides a much needed level of companionship. But people, coupled or otherwise, they need friends. Human beings can’t do it alone, can’t do it in duos. They need community, they need family and friends.

My dream would be living in a giant house with plenty of space and plenty of people. I’d love to have myself and my partner and then two or three other friends, either with partners or alone, all living together, eating together, hanging out and spending time. We could all work to support the whole house as a group, as a family. Maybe even all raising kids together at a future point. That’s living the dream for me.

I’m really dreading school now that I’m going full time, because all my friends are online. I have few to no real life friends who are more than acquaintances. I have family as roommates, but I’m going to move out next semester with god knows who. I’m terrified.

I find I have the opposite problem?

I love my boyfriend very much and he’s probably my best friend. We have many common interests together. We co-parent. We understand each other’s introversion very well.

But like… that hasn’t stopped me from being lonely. I mean, to an extent, the longer and more committed you are as a couple, the less you NEED a dazzling social life. But you really can’t have just one. I have no one to hang out wth regularly other than my boyfriend and it’s really depressing. Sometimes I just want to talk about girl stuff, or whatever, and my bf is great about a lot of things but he doesn’t satisfy all of my needs, nor should he.

I live in a house with nine people in it (two children, seven adults). I co-own the house with two of my housemates, who have lived with me since the early 1990s; the newest housemate moved in four or five years ago, and most of us have been living in this house at least a decade. There are other friends we’d like to live with, but we never have a vacancy.

Cohousing is the best. There are problems - no living situation is without problems - but the benefit of having other people around, of having a situation in which spontaneous conversations with friends naturally occur, is (cue Donald) YUUUUUGGEE. I’ve lived alone, and it’s exactly as other folks here have described - lonely AF. I have no idea how I would have gotten through life if I didn’t have cohousing.

One thing I’ve noticed - I’m much less desperate to not be single than many of my single friends. Sure, I’d like to have a romance - but it’s not a big driving need with me. And I think that’s because I don’t have the fear of loneliness if I don’t find a girlfriend.

Also, I think this arrangement is much better for the two kids - and for their parents - than living on their own would be. If you want to become a parent, cohousing can be a great situation.

All of this.  I can confirm from unpleasant experience that communal living can go REAL BAD REAL FAST (it’s complicated, but it ended with my parents being severely depressed and broke, and baby Moran being about 75% dead from various diseases, I cannot emphasize enough the need for vaccinations when living with a lot of people), but on the other hand, living alone with a very limited social life?  I also have experience with that and I can confirm how…horribly, horribly isolating it can be (admittedly, I lived in Middle Of Nowhere, MT, and had other issues at the time, but the point remains that I’ve never been so miserable in my life and that’s actually saying something).  My beloved darling roommate and I have been living the dorm life together for over a year and we’ve basically concluded that this will continue indefinitely until we feel comfortable with another arrangement.  I recommend the roommate thing whole-heartedly.  Shit, if you want to live with a whole bunch of people who you know and trust (I cannot emphasize that last one enough, do not ever live with someone you don’t trust if you can possibly avoid it), you fucking go, just make sure that you know what you’re getting into.

Humans…we’re social animals, you know?  Even introverts need people, someone who can hold our hand when we’re in pain or stroke our hair when we’re upset, and it’s not a FLAW that you need a social life outside the internet and your possible significant other.  Fuck, that’s normal.  Fuck the ‘nuclear family’ shit, the ‘move out and get your own place’ mentality.   Live with roommates.  Live a few couples in a big house.  Live in an apartment block with a few friends.  Touch your people, hug them, watch stupid movies together, cuddle on the couch, sit in the same room doing your own things, whatever.  Just…have people.  It’s good.

(via allgreymatters)

further thoughts on names

wildehack:

Ben Organa, not Ben Solo. Because Leia’s the last Organa, you see, and Han’s got something like twenty first cousins alone, and she and Luke are more or less quietly agreed that he should be the last Skywalker. (It’s “Ben” because it’s the only serious suggestion Luke made during the infamous What To Name The Baby argument that took place the week after Ben was born, and Luke’s opinion was the only compromise Han and Leia could make between “Jacen” and “Val”, and Luke was mostly incredulous that they were just calling him “baby” for so long.) 

Finn Dameron, as the entire rest of tumblr has produced some very compelling arguments in favor of. 

Rey goes through a cycle of surnames, but the one she settles on is Kenobi. Because once she finds out who her parents were, she wants desperately to take their name–to feel a connection to her past, even though every trace of it is gone. (At first she accepted Finn’s invitation to join her as an unofficial Dameron, and later she called herself Rey Skywalker just as an easy shorthand, since nobody knew what “Padawan” meant anyway, and Chewie told her very somberly that she had a right to “Rey Solo” if she wanted it, as well as Chewie’s own last name, which she couldn’t actually pronounce. Life debt stuff.  But she keeps Kenobi.) 




 

(via ifeelbetterer)

thisisthinprivilege:

venusdebotticelli:

vaspider:

twofishie:

thepioden:

amararin-princess-ashalina:

teensyteatime:

attackofthedork:

androgynslime:

yourspecialneuron:

clevercorgi:

notobadthings:

thisisthinprivilege:

youveupsettits:

bigdeelight:

nudiemuse:

rainfelt:

thisisthinprivilege:

Hey, ever heard of somebody who just dropped dead of a heart attack suddenly, nobody thought they had anything wrong with them? Everybody thought they were perfectly healthy?

Know why they were never diagnosed with heart problems, never had a chance to get preventative treatments?

Fatphobia.

Medical anti-fat bias means that many thin people never get tested for cholesterol or other things that are indicative of heart disease, because many doctors think there’s no need to test them. Meanwhile, fatties with no history of any problems with these things get tested every single time. Often when they go in to see a doctor for something totally unrelated, doctors want a cholesterol check.

Because a correlation between fat and heart disease exists, some — too many — doctors assume that only fat people are likely to have it.

Fatphobia in medicine isn’t only killing fat people. It’s killing thin people, too.

-MG

Literally experienced this, thin privilege backfiring on me. My small fat roommate and I were the same age. We both went in for a physical at around the same time. She got a whole shitload of bloodwork that gave her cholesterol level, blood sugar, and told her about many vitamin deficiencies. I asked for the same, and was told my insurance wouldn’t cover it. I had better insurance than her.

I had to beg to get my b12 level tested, because my family has a history of depression and I’d heard there was a relationship, and my doctor kind of fudged a reason to check that and one other thing. Later, I got a bill, because my insurance refused to cover it.

Turned out my b12 was DANGEROUSLY low. I was well into the “psychiatric side effects” range. (I’d just gotten used to hiding in the bathroom and sobbing multiple times a week at work. I… don’t do that anymore.)

What other vitamins am I deficient in? I have no idea. I’m taking C and D and kind of hoping for the best.

Because fatphobia and healthism say that because I’m thin and relatively young, I can’t possibly be unhealthy.

Weight first treatment kills everyone

This is why I shy away from the doctor. Every single ailment I have is because I’m fat according to them. It hurts my feelings a lot. Maybe I’m just sick because I’m sick?

My doctor actually recently (two weeks ago) had the gall to try to diagnose me for sleep apnea and allergies (caused by the sleep apnea) because I made an appointment for a check up because I was sick, congested, and had a sore throat.

He gave me a prescription for fucking Zyrtec and told me I should get a sleep study done because my weight was likely the cause.

I went and got a second opinion from a local walk in clinic and turns out I had a fucking upper respiratory infection (caused by a virus) and it was on its way to becoming pneumonia. It had NOTHING to do with my weight.

I’m lucky I didn’t actually end up in the fucking hospital over it.

Yeah, you should let your doctor know that the one study that claimed to prove that fat physiologically caused sleep apnea turned out to have been falsified. The researcher admitted to it, retracted the study, and accepted censure. We’ve posted about it a couple of times now. The researcher’s name is Robert Fogel, and if you look around, you can find the official retraction. Maybe take that in to your doctor.

On the other hand, poor sleep does seem to cause weight gain, which suggests that for any correlation between fat and sleep apnea, the causation runs the other way.

-MG

The amount of fatshaming in medicine is ridiculous. I noticed during the very first year of my medical studies that doctors will try to pin everything on people being fat, including the flu or too thin hair. They will even say stuff like “but they weren’t even overweight????” when a person dies of heart failure as THE FIRST THING they can think of. They never say “but they didn’t even smoke” or “they didn’t even have high cholesterol”. They say “wait they weren’t fat why were they ill”

It gets even worse in Psychiatry. “Well if you lost weight maybe that would help the depression”, “I don’t understand why he’s still so unsure of himself. He lost about 40 pounds, he looks great.”

 I have literally heard someone say to a rape victim “He chose you because he knew from your body type that you weren’t likely to outrun him.” 

For decades, my mother-in-law had been a bit rounder than most women - mostly genetic, as many women in her family have been that way historically, and been perfectly healthy - but was experiencing a strange, seemingly randomly-occurring symptom of blood in her urine from time to time.

Doctor after doctor would look for the cause, but most fell back on some variation of her being overweight. Meanwhile, she continued steadily gaining weight, year after year, even though she ate less and less.

At the beginning of Thanksgiving week 2010, she went in for a checkup with her new primary care physician. They went over various things - like how tired and drained my mother-in-law felt, for a start - and as they were about to leave, the doctor had them drop off a blood sample, because she had a hunch and wanted to check something (creatinine levels, in case anyone is curious).

When they got home from the visit, the phone was ringing. It was the doctor.

“Good news! I know what your problem is. Bad news, your kidneys are failing. Go to the hospital now.”

Her kidneys had dropped below 10% function, the minimum for healthy living. It turned out, after extensive testing and a lucky incident, that she’d been having small, minor kidney infections for decades, which had been slowly chipping away at her kidney function - hence the ‘random’ blood in her urine.

Doctors had mostly just told her to lose weight and get more fit - when it reality, she was retaining water because her kidneys were slowly failing. She was otherwise completely asymptomatic for kidney failure.

The first week of dialysis, they extracted fifty pounds of water from her. It was agony to go through, but she felt amazingly better after that (wonder of wonders, a working faux-kidney, and she felt better? gasp).

But the fat-shaming didn’t stop there. Later, once we’d determined I could give her a kidney, her assigned transplant doctor’s first statement upon entering the room (she’d been previously instructed to lose weight to a certain point, to make the surgery safer, which she’d actually been doing just fine, if a tad slowly) was, “Your problem is portion control.”

At that point in time, she was eating no more than 800-1000 calories per day, and feeling full from that, but he didn’t believe that she was being truthful, and for the duration of the time she had to interact with him, he continually insisted she was eating too much. (She still eats less than everyone else in the house, and she’s the only one ‘classically’ overweight, though much less so than before the transplant).

By the time of the transplant, she was down to only 3% kidney function, despite dialysis six nights a week. Had this not been caught when it was, we probably would have lost her by then.

Thankfully, since giving her one of my kidneys, she’s been able to maintain a healthy weight and be more active, though she will always remain ‘rounder’ because of her genetics.

For years, doctors assumed all her problems were because she was overweight when, in fact, her being as overweight as she had been was a symptom of an underlying problem.

Unfriendly remind that ~25% of thin people have “obese” problems which leads to awful things, like has been said. If you’re thin, please be careful about believing doctors who just say, “you’re not overweight, so you’re fine!” b/c fatphobia is shit.

This is so obnoxious. I am very small built so not only does everyone think I’m very healthy, but they think I am skinny and constantly comment on how little I must eat. As a small child I was a bean pole and light as a feathery. Then I suddenly gained weight with puberty. I am 5'3" and when I was fifteen I weighed 160 LBs. I was miserable and uncomfortable because I am small boned and lethargic regardless of my weight so I couldn’t handle the extra weight. Literally doctors told me that my weight was healthy. My bmi must have been twice what it is now at 135 LBs. I had chronic knee pain. But because I was “so tiny!” and “not fat just have a cute little double chin!” Because I wasn’t “fat” in other people’s perceptions I was ignored when I complained that my weight bothered me. I eventually lost the weight through vigorous exercise, 90 minutes a day on a bike. (and in hindsight was really over working myself) I still don’t know if that is the cause because due to neglect, poverty and financial abuse I still haven’t received any consistent medical care, my hair became and remains dramatically thinner than during childhood and early adolescence and I have a number of health issues that I don’t recall having before I lost the weight. End rant.

I lost my ovary because of my weight. When I was in college, I was walking to class with my friend, (and carrying about 60+ pounds worth of art supplies), and I felt a hard and painful *pop* in my lower abdomen. I dropped to the ground and was rushed to the campus urgent care, where they told me it was probably a hernia and needed to see my doctor. Now, I’m not exactly skinny. I’m 4'11 and over 160 pounds. Besides fibromyalgia, physically I’m relatively healthy. I went to my physician, a little beanpole of a woman, who, to my every complaint replied “it’s constipation. You need to lose weight and you’ll be more regular.” Well, for two years I kept getting the same response. The same pain, in the same place. Finally one day at work it got so bad that I collapsed on the floor crying in the middle of a breakfast rush. I had to actually get angry and raise my voice before my doctor would send me for scans, and she said “maybe it’s appendicitis.” After getting an MRI, it was discovered that I had a tumor in my ovary that had been there since I was born but started growing when I reached adulthood. In the past two years it had been growing and destroying my ovary. If it had been dealt with when it first presented, They would have been able to save my ovary and since the tumor wouldn’t have been so huge, the surgery wouldn’t have been so invasive and my recovery would have been much shorter and much less painful. But since I was overweight, my doctor just assumed that it could be solved with exercise and a better diet. (Which I had already been working on.) TL:DR because I’m fat, my doctor ignored my unrelated health problems so now I’m less likely to have children.

I was refused birth control by my doctor because of my weight. She essentially told me that she wouldn’t trust me to take the pills on a regular schedule unless I lost a significant amount of weight and proved to her that I had the discipline for it.

When I had my gallbladder problems which I lived with undiagnosed for 5 months, (mix of genetics and the Yasmin I was taking. The Yasmin just sped things along) I had an attack that left me weak and unable to breathe properly. So I was rushed to the hospital. Not only was I asked with serious lack of caring if I was in labour.. When I said no, she took her sweet time checking me in and then handed me that god awful heartburn shit that they give people. I nearly puked it up.

When I finally got to see the ER doctor she was more interested with taking a phone call from another hospital then treating me. When she finally did take a moment to “treat” me it was two slaps on the back declared I didn’t have a kidney infection, and that it was acid reflux and my back injury I got from a 40lbs box of chickens falling on me at an old job. With a thinly veiled comment to lose weight my problems would go away.

Saw my GP the next day and he could feel something poking through my ribs and set me up for an emergency ultrasound.

On the way home I had another attack and my mom just thought I was hungry, since I hadn’t eaten in days. Are two grapes puked them back up pretty much right then and there. She called the doctor office and they told her to take me in and that they were phoning to let the hospital know I was coming. When I finally saw the second doctor (7ish hours after I arrived at the ER) he did lab work and found I had a failing liver.

I had an ultra sound the next day and found out that I had gallstones, pancreatitis that was days away from going septic and because of that a failing liver.

Lucky me got surgery four days after everything was said and done, but that first doctor in the ER could have killed me. I’m glad I didn’t believe her that my problem was weight related.

Doctors blaming all my issues on my weight instead of checking and treating my (turns out) severe autoimmune hypothyroidism (which, wow, was contributing to my weight) meant that I had to have a complete thyroidectomy and follow-up radiation treatment because the damage and hypertrophy in my thyroid had turned into a massive blob of thyroid cancer that was compressing my trachea.

Now I may or may not have lymphoma and will have to be on daily medication and a kidney-pummeling amount of calcium for the rest of my life! Thanks, medical establishment.

Thanks to my old Dr, it was 5 years before I was diagnosed with my autoimmune disease! Everything was because I was fat! Broke a toe stubbing it on a wooden stair, it’s because of my fat.
The constant chronic pain/inflammation all due to my weight
My depression, anxiety and compulsive behaviors are all due to my fat as well
Migraines? Fat
Insomnia? Fatty fat
Anxiety? FAT
Every cold or bout of pneumonia FAT
Gynecological pain? WAY TOO FAT

Thankfully I have a new Dr and he *listens* to me.
I have Fibromyalgia.
I have Akylosing Spondylitis
I have a rheumatologist
I have a pain management specialist
I have a gynecologist
I have a urologist
A fantastic Dr who listens to me, right away.

Me: Both my legs hurt. I can’t walk normally.

Doctor: Ok but you have diabetes because fat

Me: I don’t have diabetes. I don’t even have pre-diabetes. Look, here’s my bloodwork. My a1c is so normal it could ski the Bell Curve.

Doctor: Ok but diabetes. 

Me: No.

Doctor: Ok but you should lose weight because your big fat ass is causing mechanical issues in your legs. 

Me: … that seems fake, but okay. I’ll do what you say.

Me: Hey doc, I can’t lose weight because I CANNOT WALK OR EXERCISE AT ALL. It’s been 2 years. I can’t go to the bathroom on my own anymore.

Doc: How about I do another MRI on your ankles?

@adhocavenger: Fuck this asshole. Let’s go to another doctor.

Doctor Kate: … this is nerve pain. Maybe you have a compressed disc pressing on your spine. Let’s MRI your spine.

Me: Ok. 

Doctor Kate: … uhhhhhh, you have a tumor the size of a large grape inside your spine; it’s compressing your spinal cord and that’s why your everything hurts. Good thing we caught it before it destroyed your spine and left you paralyzed entirely.

Me: … so it isn’t because I’m fat?

Doctor Kate: … fat doesn’t make tumors inside your spine. That doctor is stupid and I will call him and tell his office to never call you again, because he is a jerk. But not being able to move probably caused you to not be able to lose weight like he demanded.

Me: Oh. Okay. 

So… yeah.

fat hatred killsfat people aren’t a protected class under any legislation in my state, which means MDs could legally say, ‘I don’t treat fat people’, with no legal consequence, but they don’t, they fake-treat fat people, take fees from us to deliver the same deep medical insights, we can get for free by reading the cover of Cosmo Magazine, and that bullshit delays/prevents fat people, from getting actual medical treatment, it’s a swindleand it kills people, but hey, the docs get paid, and they’re only hurting fat people, nbd. (via welkinalauda)

There’s a small but growing number of doctors who do refuse to see fat people.

(via academicfeminist)

primarybufferpanel:

elvensemi:

bemundolack:

beckytext:

This rant brought to you by Star Wars: The Force Awakens (featuring Rey, the lady scavenger-pilot-mechanic-Jedi of my heart) and also years of simmering resentment.

Also, Rey is literally just a female version of Luke and Annakin. Are they Mary Sue’s? No. They’re heroes (well, up to a point, re: Annakin)

*clears throat loudly*

OK so it’s only about 2 years ago that @sessifet was with me for a visit and I was talking about how I was always careful with writing Lee Brittner (from Rock Happy) lest she becomes a Mary Sue. Because my 16 years in fandom up till there had taught me that would be very, very bad. And Sess finally broke that whole Mary Sue idea open for me.

I still remember how uncertain and baffled I was! (I remember it clearly enough that I remember exactly where we were walking during this conversation)

It took a while for the idea to sink in, that it was OK to write a female character that was interesting and loved and strong and valued. So yeah. Fuck that Mary Sue bullshit.  And thank you, Sess <3

Thank you so very much for this.  My perennial concern about the main characters in my novels is that they’re…overpowered or too special or some shit like that because so many people talk about how the Mary Sue is the great boogeyman of writing.  And I logically know it’s bullshit–because if they were a guy I wouldn’t have those concerns, something I’ve tested out by writing a few short pieces with guys in the exact place of the young women I prefer to write (because, um, I’m a young woman).  But I still have the concern.  So, thanks.

dovaahkiins:

dovaahkiins:

“your kid needs your attention, not adhd meds!”

“maybe we can talk about how with the internet there are more diagnoses of adhd now, and how the internet is rewiring our brains…”

“medicating childhood: the hoax of adhd”

literally all things ive seen in the past fucking WEEK let me out of this hell

i can debunk this all in a flash

adhd is a neurodevelopmental disorder, and develops around 12 years old. given that, and how many diagnosed adhd adults there are, including elders, this is something that predates the internet

adhd is genetic, so despite an attention given from parent to child, it’s incredibly likely that at least one of the parents or other relatives also has adhd

oh yes, and let’s not forget the myth that adhd symptoms are synonymous with child behavior. but adhd isn’t just hyperactivity - in fact, hyperactivity doesn’t always present itself. in addition to hyperactivity, other symptoms include:

  • echolalia
  • poor memory
  • racing/scattered thoughts
  • slowed social development (around 30%)
  • difficulty understanding tasks/organizing them into steps
  • struggles understanding time management
  • impulsive acts (impulsive spending is a major issue with many of us)
  • difficulty managing emotions, especially anger
  • easily bored (and boredom leads to greater frustration than others)
  • TROUBLE SLEEPING. many adhd people spend their entire lives not getting good sleep because of the constant “noise” in their heads. see the scattered thoughts. basically, the thoughts are always going. there is no shut off switch. insomnia is largely prevalent with adhd
  • losing details (like getting poor grades because you missed the fine print on a test even with knowing the material)
  • struggles with listening comprehension (words sound like nonsense)
  • struggles with reading comprehension (words look like nonsense)
  • memorization issues - a child skilled in math will have trouble with multiplication tables, for example
  • has trouble “waiting their turn” in conversation - frequently interrupts without realizing
  • hyperfocus - an often overlooked aspect, when one focuses to the exception of all other external stimuli, including needing to eat, sleep, etc. time almost ceases to exist
  • not a symptom, but adhd - especially adult adhd - is highly comorbid with anxiety disorders and depression later in life. this is because a person with adhd is working their heart out to achieve the same standards, contrary to the believe that they’re “lazy.” as you can see above, almost every aspect of daily life is impacted - social, work, school, family, money… and this can lead to a feeling of being unable to cope.
  • despite all that, people with adhd are also:
  • more solution-oriented
  • more resilient
  • more expressive
  • more curious
  • and better at multitasking - not just because of having to learn how to manage the other symptoms, but these are, in fact, also symptoms. you can imagine how useful hyperfocus can be as well.

i wrote all this because i really want people to understand me and understand how this all works. and i want misunderstandings to stop so people can respect who i am.

(Source: sylvershroud, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

jamalllyon:

minerva mcgonagall deciding not to go into retirement after seeing james sirius isn’t quite as bad as either of his namesakes or his father and is silently relieved because sure, he does some pranks but he also really loves transfiguration and adores learning and tends not to disrupt class. and she figures albus and lily luna can’t possible be worse. and she’s right about albus for the most part, the kid is quiet, if with a tendency to wander the castle after hours

but lily luna

oh god

minerva thought she was safe. but lily luna potter is the biggest menace she has ever seen in the smallest body. lily aces her classes and still manages to have at least three running pranks per school day. lily, backed by her pseudo maurauders molly and lucy weasley as well as the combined genius of the scamander twins. lily who wins the maurauders map from her brother within the first week of first year using a very cleverly planned game of exploding snap and some innovative taunting to get james to bet the map in the first place.

lily luna who is somehow her grandfather and her mother and her uncles fred and george all combined into one, with the evil genius and ambition worthy of a slytherin

minerva survives a few months before she decides to call it a day and leave asap. the scamander twins are amazed that lily calculated that retirement almost to the day

(Source: jonssnark, via lilypcttr)

alder-knight:

cosetties:

i really like the advice “write marginalized characters but don’t write about marginalization unless you experience it” 

absolutely i think cis people should expand their horizons and write trans characters, but they shouldn’t write stories about being trans. likewise i think allistic / NT authors should write about autistic characters! but not stories about being autistic. 

represent us. absolutely. but don’t tell our stories. let us do that.

YOOOOOOO. This is an excellent distinction!

(Source: lalaleliana, via lupinatic)

Bar Ettiquette

spaggel:

Not many of my followers know, but I’m a bartender and after this weekend (and for the last 5 years) I thought I’d make a quick a simple list of bar manners to mind.

  • If you use a lime after a shot do not stick your gross ass chewed up lime on the bar. Put it back into the shot glass, on a napkin or find a trash can for the love of god. 
  • If you don’t want a straw in your drink, either say so when you order or put in on a napkin or throw it away. Again, do not stick it in your mouth, suck on it and leave your spit straw on the counter. Have you no manners?
  • Don’t yell. Use your manners.
  • I know it looks like I will never look into your beautiful, drink starved eyes, but I can see you even if I’m not looking at you. Trust me
  • If I am not looking at you, I’m not taking your order. If I look at your eyes, that’s a sign that I’m ready to take your order. Which I am not, so don’t wave your hand in front of my face to make me look at you. I might forget what I’m doing an take even longer. You’re only hurting yourself.
  • If you are ordering multiple drinks, order them all at once. Not one at a time. You get your drinks faster and everyone around you can get served faster as well. It’s a win-win.
  • I don’t care what you drink, honestly. Like, drink a long island. Or a lemon drop. It makes my gut hurt because sugar. But I Don’t Care. And neither should you, so don’t make shitty comments the person next to you when they order. 
  • Unless you’re putting red bull in grey goose. Save yourself some cash and just get well vodka. 
  • I take it back, there was one time someone ordered a pint glass of half & half and a shot of malibu rum in it and I thought i was going to die.
  • If I ask you if you want a back/chaser for your shot I’m not questioning your masculinity or giving you a test. I just want to know. It’s easier to do it all at once.
  • I don’t know that one special drink at another bar, but tell me what you like about it and I’ll try to find you an alternative. 
  • Please. Please don’t ask me to just pour you whatever. Especially when it’s busy. I have to hold back the urge to pour you a shot of grape pucker and call it a day.
  • If you ask me for a “girly” or “pussy” drink I will pour you fernet branca because I am both girly, in possession of a vagina and that’s all I drink. You’ll regret it.
  • If you order something gay I will pour you whiskey because that’s what all my gay male friends drink. They also drink fernet as well. It’s a toss up there. 
  • In fact. I serve women, gay men/women and straight dudes all about the same when it comes to whiskey. It’s strange how gender and sexuality have nothing to do with the types of alcohol you drink.
  • The correct terminology you are looking for is “fruity” or “mixed” 
  • Anyway. Someone once asked for both. After I responded with fernet to his “pussy” shot request, he ordered a “gay” shot.
  • So I told him I’d make him a gay shot called a dick in his mouth.
  • I did. 
  • He told me it was “a little stiff”
  • I told him if there’s a dick in his mouth, you better hope it’s stiff.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

Which Mad Max Fury Road character should you fight?

  • Furiosa: Fight her. She will beat you bloody and drive your face into the dirt but you'll be thanking her as she does it. Afterwards she would spit on your body and drive away but you will feel amazing.
  • Max: Fighting him would be like an angsty teenager lashing out at their parents, you'll break down crying midway through when you realise you have no reason to actually fight him and he'll awkwardly try to stop your gross-crying.
  • Immortan Joe: I wouldn't advise it but morally you should have a go.
  • Rictus: You will die. Try to realise 20 bears on him instead, that might do the trick.
  • Nux: You'll both be super pumped for this fight and the first part will be like pure adrenaline and you'll feel like a wild animal but then you'll break apart for a split-second and all you'll see if a very excited puppy and suddenly you'll feel terrible for fighting him even though he's still punching you.
  • Slit: Like Nux only he's not a puppy, he's an angry pit bull terrier and you'll have to go to the hospital.
  • Splendid Angharad: Even if you wanted to fight her she'll stare you down before you can get close. It'll be like her eyes are ripping your conscience out onto the ground. Go home in shame.
  • The Dag: Go and sit in the corner for even thinking about it.
  • People Eater: Do it. Fight him. He can't fight and he's on the same level of evil as Joe, there is literally no reason not to fight him.
  • Cheedo: How dare you.