“First the White House communications directors were spaced by 24 weeks. Then 12, then 6, then every 2 weeks. The last one, the Mooch…was a week. In four days we should be seeing them every eight hours until they are coming every four minutes. Marshal, we should witness a double event within seven days.”
In the beginning the White House departures were spaced by twenty-four days. The last one, Scaramucci…was ten days. In four days, we could be seeing White House staff getting fired every eight hours until they are getting fired every four minutes.
Anyway where are my Fullmetal
Alchemist/Pacific Rim AUs.
It works in either direction, with some tweaking.
Yancy and Raleigh Becket try to perform human transmutation and
Yancy ends up fused to a massive fuckoff suit of armor and Raleigh loses his
left arm (the one with the circuit burns) and his right leg (the one Lady
Danger loses at the end of the movie) and Pentecost is Mustang, obviously, and
he’s not dating his second in command, she’s his brilliant daughter Mako who is
very taken aback by the Fullmetal Alchemist who is polite and soft-spoken and
smiles easily but sadly. Herc is Hughes and instead of killing him they
kill his son, an arrogant but undeniably competent alchemist.
Alternatively, Herc is Mustang and Pentecost is a much grimmer Hughes.
Edward and Alphonse Elric become Jaeger pilots because the world
is coming to a fucking end and then a disaster happens and Ed is alone, and
then Mustang shows up to recruit him to save the world and tries to pair him
with everyone under the sun and finally throws one of their mechanics at him
and said mechanic (Winry) is OUTRAGED that they’re drift compatible because SHE
HAS REAL WORK TO DO that’s not hotrodding around in a GIANT FUCKOFF ROBOT but
also no she is absolutely not turning down a chance to pilot that giant fuckoff
robot, get in, Elric. Obviously in this AU their Jaeger’s AI (IDK,
Fullmetal Alchemy or something, they call her pilots the Fullmetal Boys) is
high key possessed by Al’s memory imprint. And Riza is LOCCENT at the
last Shatterdome. She and Mustang used to be pilots together but they
aren’t anymore for reasons that they won’t tell anyone.
Everyone else can be fitted in as necessary. Go forth and
find me these AUs.
I know we’re always talking about how Pacific Rim embraces the ridiculousness of the human race because “just build a giant robot to punch them in the face” is probably the most full-on human bullshit response we could have thought of to an invasion of giant aliens, but can we pause and also consider that the aliens are basically doing the same thing
like they wanted to invade us and their first thought about how to do so was “let’s genetically engineer giant fucking monsters that will crawl out of the depths of the ocean and trample cities”
Pacific Rim is just the story of two species that on a scale from 1 to 10 respond to every problem with a 17
ok but have any of you thought about pacific rim from the perspective of the precursors
it’s like. you just bought a new house, but it’s infested with termites, so you call the exterminator thinking “alright, yeah, just get those termites gone and then we can get moved in”
the exterminator drops off the face of the planet. you never hear from them again. so you send in another, and you just keep sending them, and it’s always the same. you’re wondering if there’s something up by this point.
and then one of them comes back, battle-torn and bedraggled like “THE TERMITES HAVE BUILT HUMAN-SIZED CONSTRUCTS OUT OF SAWDUST AND SCRAP WIRING AND ONE ESTABLISHED A PSYCHIC LINK WITH ME.”
by this point you’re saying “what the entire fuck.”
so you call in the best of the best, the Elite exterminators, and guess what? the termites slaughter them all in a coordinated assault, and then come to your house disguised as one of the exterminators and set off a pipe bomb in your garage.
flvffs asked: top six female characters (if this is still running??)
Oooo-hooo-hooo, it’s been a goddamn WHILE since I went into my inbox, yeah, I have a lot of stuff to catch up on. But yes! This is still going! This is the top six meme, for those of you who (justifiably) have forgotten since a month ago.
Also, this ask if just goddamn MEAN. How??? Am I supposed to pick????
By cheating ruthlessly, that’s how.
Books
Jamethiel Priest’s-bane, of the Kencyrath Chronicles, because she’s fierce as fuck and rides a rathorn into battle and is probably going to end the world. Literally what else could you WANT in a character.
Harimad-sol AKA Harry Crewe and Lady Aerin Dragon-killer, and I’m cheating MORE by putting them in the same category because they’re from the same series. They are my beloved childhood friends and heroes, okay, the Blue Sword andthe Hero and the Crownare goddamn glorious.
RACHEL. Because GODDAMN ANIMORPHS. I’m not going to say more because I’m writing an epic rant about every book as I reread it. Also Cassie gets honorary mention because GODDAMN CASSIE.
Hermione Granger. C’mon, y’all, I’m part of the Harry Potter generation and I’m a Gryffindor, Hermione is basically mandatory for this list.
Kitsune Yukiko from Stormdancer, my L O V E. Someone come cry with me.
Um! Um! I only have one more, um! THERE ARE TOO MANY. Fuck it, Galadriel. And Arwen. They’re tied for LOTR lady-love. With Eowyn as a close second.
Movies/TV
IMPERATOR FURIOSA, ‘nuff said.
The Honorable Miss Phryne Fisher, because I’m literally watching Miss Fisher right now and remembering that I adore this show and have the worst crush on Phryne. Also her lesbian doctor friend is awesome.
Buffy Goddamn Summers.
Echo from Dollhouse. “I’m not broken.” And honorary mention to Dolores from Westworld. “I imagined a narrative where I wasn’t the victim.” God, stories about empty bodies being filled up with souls are my SHIT.
Rey. And General Leia Organa.
MAKO MOTHERFUCKIN’ JAEGER-DRIVIN’ KAIJU-STOMPIN’ MORI
Comics
Rogue. I like shitkicker comics Rogue a lot more than movie Rogue, not gonna lie to you.
Natasha Goddamn Romanoff.
Wonder Woman. Because she’s fucking Wonder Woman.
Kitty Pryde. I feel that she has been grievously wronged by the movies and I’ve taken it very personally.
Ororo fucking Monroe, god, Storm is everything to me, she’s a goddess.
Jean Grey. I know a lot of people think Jean is…I don’t know, boring or something? But I just. I love her a lot, I got started on the comics rather than the original movies, and Sophie Turner CRUSHED IT in Apocalypse.
no but people who don’t like pacific rim because it wasn’t logical or scientifically accurate like
yes
we know
we don’t care
it is an homage to that genre. the original godzilla was a dude clearly in a rubber suit stomping cardboard tokyo and we were supposed to just accept that. pacific rim is a movie where a government council sat around like “what are we gonna do about these giant aliens coming from the ocean?”
“let’s build equally giant robots to punch them in the face”
“yes perfect” and like, that was of course the logical response because it’s friggin cool
mako didn’t use the sword because she had to wait until the perfect cinematic moment to do so
this movie is a love letter to painfully dumb action movies, but it is also one of the smartest movies i’ve ever seen. it’s just telling a story in a different way. instead of having audience vehicle main character explain everything to us, the movie shows you a world and asks you to accept its premise, and then lets you discover the story yourself.
this movie glorifies platonic love and familial bonds, this movie is about how we as people are stronger together, that it’s not one lone hero guy who can save the world, but the unity of all of us. it’s about the sheer unmitigated gall of humanity- “fuck this noise, we’re canceling the apocalypse!” it’s about the stupid dumb loud optimism that looks at the world and wants it to better, demands it be better, and does so with fists of steel.
it’s bombast and noise and i love it to bits so shut up and sit down and let me enjoy my giant robots punching giant monsters in the face okay?
this is such a good post…..such a good post….pacific rim stayed truer to the kaiju movie genre than 2014 godzilla did
