more “aliens being surprised by humans” stuff

jumpingjacktrash:

scifi-flyby:

our ability to belt out one entire three to five minute long song if we’re familiar with it like. suvi starts singing “hallelujah” to fill the quiet and is answered by liam all across the room in a p decent harmony. cora walks past and starts humming it enthusiastically even tho she can’t stay very long. gil joins in for the third refrain. ryder finishes it off with a passionate solo.

when they look around every alien is staring at them. vetra blinks and knocks her hands together. “that’s what you’re supposed to do when humans make those sounds right?” she asks kallo beside her, who mirrors her. everyone is a little stunned at the coordination and emotion in the performance and they all look equally moved. jaal might be crying. none of them know what a ‘hallelujah’ is, but they feel like they’ve come to understand it through this melody

they’re all extremely confused when all of the humans still continue on on their tasks without pause

edit; other songs include but are not limited to: bohemian rhapsody, mr. brightside, single ladies, no scrubs, and i will always love you

a good predictor of whether a species will end up being compatible with humans on long journeys is whether they are capable of understanding that ‘singing along’ is optional and humans do it because it’s fun. species that insist on assigning some biological or ceremonial importance to it will inevitably clash with their human crews sooner or later.

whereas species like the mertrans, who have their own infectious expressive behaviors, can integrate with humans indefinitely. on long-haul ships, a sort of hybrid culture evolves, where mertrans will thrum their throat sacs to provide percussion for human singalongs, and humans develop dance steps for mertran scratch/thumping episodes.

smart pirates avoid attacking ships where this has happened. despite being clownish, these species are also some of the most warlike, and offering violence to a closeknit mertran/human group provokes a reaction that is not only well-coordinated and heroic but prone to very bloody pranks.

there still are parts of the outer reaches where a mertran hand-signing “yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker” can clear a bar in seconds.

(via bonehandledknife)

  • Overheard in the hallway...
  • Girl: -- and I'm just REALLY fucking done with this bullshit.
  • Guy: I have never seen you this angry before. Are you like... is it... /the moon/?
  • - long silence -
  • Girl: Yeah Warren, it's the moon. I'm a werebitch.
  • Tobias: Whoa. I am totally walking on an alien planet. Wow, Ax, you must say that, like, everyday on Earth.
  • Ax: Actually, I kind of do.
  • Eliot: Do you hate trash cans? Is that your problem? Do you just HATE TRASH CANS?
  • Parker: I can’t drive with you screaming in my ear.
  • Eliot: You can’t drive at all!

fuckyeahdiomedes:

rbertdowneyjr:

you’re ever arguing with someone and you just give up? not because you’re out of arguments, but bc they are too dumb and it’s stressing you out.

#it’s like playing chess with a pigeon#no matter how good at chess you are#the pigeon will still shit all over the board#and then strut around the board like it’s won (via thekeeperofthesilence)

that is an excellent analogy

(Source: theironman, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

youkaiyume:

The War Boys call him “lucky,” to be favored by the Imperator.

The Sisters call him her “support/partner.”

Furiosa calls him “reliable.”

Max thinks the correct term they’re looking for is “furniture.”

But all things considered, he’s been used for worse before. He doesn’t mind being of use to Furiosa.

I said I wanted to draw a series of doodles of Furiosa using Max as various forms of furniture mostly to lean upon…and him making bemused grumpy faces.

The Throne is especially for bonehandledknife 

(via dyinghistoric)

patro-classy:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

#important otp question: who is the friend and who is nick

(via clockwork-mockingbird)

bana05:

emmersdrawberry:

bigbardafree:

the thing about being someone who’s never catcalled is that you start to wonder why like is it because im ugly???

and then you realize that youre judging your worth by whether or not you are objectifiable to a man and thats so fucked up like honestly its so fucked up 

but the worst part about the patriarchy is that it still sits at the back of your mind regardless like “nobody thinks youre pretty because they dont see you as a sex object” like somehow thats a desirable thing and it fucks me up

You’re either public property or completely invisible.

Yep.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

griffinandblake:
“glamourweaver:
“girlgotmuscle:
“lilinternetwarrior:
“ theidledrifter:
“ jane-b-nimbel:
“ thesanityclause:
“ youngmanandoldsoul:
“ “Killed 99 bears”
a fact that if actually accomplished, should be put on a tombstone.
”
My favorite...

griffinandblake:

glamourweaver:

girlgotmuscle:

lilinternetwarrior:

theidledrifter:

jane-b-nimbel:

thesanityclause:

youngmanandoldsoul:

“Killed 99 bears”

a fact that if actually accomplished, should be put on a tombstone.

My favorite part is “We hope he has gone to rest.” What, like… they weren’t sure? Maybe, if ever the bear uprising should start again, he would rise from the ground to finish what he started and slay that 100th bear?

Was this man so powerful they are concerned he might not have decided to rest at all and is simply biding his time?

The bears made that tombstone.

A warning, and a prayer.

That he really, truly stays down.

This is too badass not to reblog.

#i had 99 problems and they were all bears so i fucking killed them

Reblog for last comment

I’m going to assume the 100th bear killed him.

my favorite part is that it reads like he started killing bears straight out of the womb. little dude came out with a rifle and a fucking mission.

(via adelindschade)

matingseasonmustache:

nerdykirby:

so i sent this email to this company that had an app i wanted to download, but didn’t have it for android:

image

i didnt think i would get a response, i figured they get weird shit from people complaining all the time

today i got a response

image

oh my god he even sent me the email they posted

image

THEY FUCKING HIGHLIGHTED IT

This is fucking gold. SNAP SNAP MOTHERFUCKERS

(via thepainofthesass)