@boykeats-is either very hipster, very punk, or a mix of both
-has written at least one poem about judas iscariot
-probably has strong opinions on mary magdalene too
-tries not to be salty (is still a little salty sometimes)
-probably real pissed off about how the book of Job ends
(via millennialgospel)
In case you’re curious about how my life is going, today I almost did a murder at church. Specifically, I almost did a murder because if there’s one thing that I absolutely will not tolerate at any time for any reason under any circumstances, it’s NAZI APOLOGIST BULLSHIT.
Listen, I have done copious reading and know a great deal about World War II, and I can talk at length about how, for all intents and purposes, the first country the Nazi regime invaded was their own. That being said, um. Making the statement “Well, no one really knows how they’ll react when there’s a gun at their head, so we really can’t hold the Nazis at fault because the higher ups forced them into it” is…not accurate. Yes, a number of people were complicit because of the implicit threat to their lives and their families, etc, etc. A lot of people were also true believers, but more to the point: a number of people had that same gun held to their head and responded by standing up for the rights of the people around them.
Mitigating circumstances do not an innocent person make.
I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.
“I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?”
This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.
(via skymurdock)
Anonymous asked: Do you have any thoughts about David and Jonathan?
The David cycle (can it be called a cycle? Or is it more a saga? Or just a multi-generational family tragedy?) is deeply underrated from a literary point of view. It’s one of the longest stories we have of a single life in the Old Testament aside from maybe Joseph? It’s got it all; mad kings, prophecies fulfilled, self-sacrificing princes, supernatural feats, and a shining peasant king at the center with enough charisma to burn up anyone who gets too close to him and a relationship to God so intimate that he is referred to as God’s son. And the Davidic fall from grace is just….brutal, and he’s so aware of what’s happening through a lot of it. Like his devotion to God just grows more ferocious even as the bodies pile up around him, and David’s laments for his children and Jonathon are heart-wrenching. They still wreck me.
Jonathon is honestly one of the most honorable, good, and wonderful men of the entire Old Testament. His filial loyalty to his useless father and his adoring fealty of David never waver; even when Jonathon’s birthright is stripped from him, even when those warring loves quite literally kill him. Like, everyone I know at seminary is still upset about the death of Jonathon. Reviews on David as a human are mixed, but everyone still mourns the firstborn son of Saul.
So yeah, I get glassy eyed about the love between David and Jonathon and its potentially romantic nature like everyone else on Tumblr, but there’s….a lot more there. And that relationship only haunts readers so much because of how well the author captured these two reckless, hard-loving, blood-stained boys with the world on their shoulders.
jesus could absolutely, unequivocally beat the shit out of richard dawkins. i’m not saying he would, just that he absolutely could. like, round one knockout, whole fight uploaded to vine, embarrassing. dawkins’ feeble, mortal body crumbling to the mat. he finally saw jesus, but never saw those hands coming. richard dawkins searching for god while he’s in la-la land. no fucking chance for old man honeyjars. down for the count as the entire arena converts to christianity on the spot
the greatest excerpt of our generation
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
imo he was being super salty about that tendency guys have to blame their anatomy for their bad choices
it’s like “oh i don’t want to be a creepo but my dick has a mind of its own” “well here’s a scissors fix your life”
or maybe, you know, have some damn respect, and don’t pretend you don’t have a choice of whether to be nasty
i think people have a tendency to take jesus literally when he was actually throwing shade, or to take things in this really smarmy martyrish way when they’re actually pretty snippy
i mean “turn the other cheek” sounds like being a doormat until you picture how it would play out: someone smacks you, and you turn and go “do it again, go on, take a swing buddy, does that make you feel better, do you feel like a winner now?” cuz you know what 90% of the time they will get curled up shame toes and shuffle off
tl;dr: no jesus did not actually want you to take a spoon to your eyeballs for babe watching, he wanted you to take responsibility for how you treat people
All of the actions Jesus told his followers to perform are actually passive-aggressive actions meant to oppose and resist Jerusalem’s Roman colonizers. Like, turning the other cheek is actually a matter of forcing the Roman to either break proper slapping etiquette or to hit you properly- thereby treating you as an equal instead of someone he’s subjugating. If a debtor is taking all your possessions in court, you include the shirt off your back so his greed is causing you to commit public nudity. And when a soldier forces you to carry his equipment (as per the law of the time), you go the extra mile with him- literally carrying his bag beyond the distance that the law stipulates and therefore making the action illegal.
Context matters.
(Source: ithelpstodream, via windbladess)
i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake
fabulous
i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.
(via ofgeography)
My dad is giving a sermon about how to check your privilege, I’ve literally never been prouder.
the best story i think i’ve ever heard at a party was from this ex-Lutheran who was absolutely shitfaced and told us all about the origins of Lutherism bc it’s so??? incredible??? apparently martin luther was this like twenty-one year old college student and atheist (of course) and he’s walking home during this thunderstorm, just soaking wet, miserable, probably cussing out the god he supposedly doesn’t believe in, and he gets struck by lightning, which, obviously, sucks. he’s probably pissed as hell because he’s miraculously alive but also probably in a lot of pain, probably cursing god’s name yet again, and he gets struck by lightning a second time like??? What the fuck!!! how unlucky is that!! and so now he’s running for a forest to hide underneath the trees, once again furious at god, and he gets struck by lightning for the third time!!! so he finally makes it to the trees, probably crispy as hell, exhausted and in pain and he drops to his knees and says basically “god, please, for fucks sake, stop hitting me with lightning. I swear if you leave me alone i’ll go to a monastery and become a monk and re-invent this religion i guess but please just leave me alone” and he’s not struck by lightning again so he becomes a monk like??? i’m not Lutheran so i don’t know how accurate this drunk re-telling is but i believe it whole-heartedly and have gained a healthy respect for the wrath of god
Vodka Tia Moran