Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

crossroadswrite:

listen kids, i am very tired and in all honesty have no authority to be giving anyone advice but looks matter in fanfic, how you present the work you created matters, okay

you’re trying to impress, you’re trying your very best to get someone to read this work you’ve created and how you present it is fucking important, ayight?? it’s like having a first date, you can’t just roll out of bed after three months without showering and be like “sup fam, suck on my tongue”

you have to look minimally presentable for people to want to metaphorically suck on your tongue, ayight kids?

so, get a nice title, something that ppl wanna whisper, something nice and related to the content ayight? it can be one word, it can be any word. that’s your calling card kid, that’s the piece of paper you slide over the table with your phone number. good titles can go a long way

and if titles are your name, the phone number is the tags and for god’s suck use the tags. how do you want people to find the unique things you bring to the table if you don’t put them in the database for them to search by name??? how will all those potential people you’re trying to win over find you without some proper tags, huh? they ain’t fam. tag yo shit

and while you’re at it, don’t talk down on yourself, don’t you dare talk down on yourself. you’re beautiful and ethereal and everything you do matters, and everything you do works to make you even more beautiful. “i suck at summaries lol xD give this a try tho”. fam no. don’t do that shit. it’s unnatractive. that’s like being greeted by your date with a “rawr that means i love you in dinossaur lol xD im so random how many kids do you wanna have also my family are all extremists come see our gun collection”

ppl are gonna run away from that. fast. you’re good. what you do matters, OWN IT. seduce your date with a beautiful summary, whatever you like, using any technique you like, just have a good summary ayight? that’s your bait, that’s what you use to reel them in as the beautiful siren you are just before you drown them in your amazing content and eat their hearts. 

and if you don’t think you’re shit and are insecure about posting, then boi u better fake it ‘till u make it, my guy. i can assure you, you’re worth more than you could ever dream.

now that u got em reeled in, now that you got them to click the link and ask for a second date, for mcfuck’s sake correctly format your fic, use some goddamned paragraphs spacing. i want to see beautiful flowing lines of text, not a slaughtered ant colony that faintly resembles a wall of text. and dont forget theres a special place in hell for people who align center their text.

so.

maximize your readability, expand your goddamned market, become enticing to the point where no one can resist you, sloppy fic presentation harms your fic and it’s completely avoidable. take care of yourself and make smart decisions to get that sweet validation medicine friends.

(via skymurdock)

hogwartsaheadcanon:

ladiefury:

sarazellman:

lestatthecupcakeprince:

tinylilemrys:

Headcanon that an outraged 6-year-old Charlie Weasley writes to an elderly Newt Scamander wanting to know why Gringotts keeps a dragon locked up underground and begging him to fix it. Newt writes back saying that sadly he’s been fighting that fight for years and no one ever wants to listen to him because the powerful families whose money is being kept safe by the dragon always shut him down, and that Charlie is the first person he’s heard of who’s as angry as he is about it. Charlie decides that day to dedicate his life to finding out everything he can about dragons so that one day he can free the poor Gringotts dragon. After the war, when they hear that Harry, Ron and Hermione freed the dragon, they celebrate and immediately begin petitioning to have it made illegal to imprison dragons so that nothing like that ever happens again. It’s only when Hermione becomes Minister that it’s finally signed into law.

This is the best Harry Potter headcanon I’ve ever seen

yes yes yes

Originally posted by model-monroenixx

Just imagine how that conversation would go though, like Charlie’s been learning about dragons his whole life, studying them, learning about the laws surrounding them, practising the jailbreak of dragons by smuggling one out of Hogwarts, preparing for the moment when, one day, he can free the Ukrainian Ironbelly from Gringotts.

And Ron’s like “Oh, yeah, don’t worry about it—we broke into Gringotts and used him as our get-away vehicle. He’s just chilling in the wilds somewhere now so, yeah. Job done.”

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

Meet Cute: Shock & Awe

fuckyeahcharacterdevelopment:

• You just decimated that cat-caller, please marry me?
  
• I’m moving and as I was carrying my table out of my old building I dropped it and a leg fell off and I cannot deal with this today but you just said ‘I got this’, busted a hammer and nails out of your purse, and started fixing my table in the middle of the sidewalk? 
• I saw somebody following you so I was trying to catch up and tell you but I was too late and you just stone cold judo-flipped that mugger and I was going to offer to make sure you got home safe but on second thought would you mind walking me home?
• My incredibly stupid cat just jumped out of my apartment window after a bird and you caught her in your arms like a baby and looked up, stared me dead in the eye and said “I think you dropped something” 
• You walked into my shop, ordered three black coffees like you were on a coffee run for your friends or something, and then shotgunned them one after another right in front of me and I am concerned 
• Due to some kind of accidental spark all of the fireworks in the back of my car are now all exploding at the same time so I abandoned ship only to watch you bust out a fire extinguisher and rescue my poor car how can I thank you 

coming2usoon:

Imagine Jaylah at the Starfleet academy after Star Trek Beyond.

-Like the first day she gets there and is settling into her room Scotty is there to help her move in. And he’s just so happy she’s going to the engineering part of the academy but is also scared to death that she’s going to become a red shirt.
-Her roommate isn’t that fond of Jaylah’s taste in music and hates the banging and loudness of it all.
-In her first few classes she doesn’t even pay attention due to knowing all the material.
-the only class she actually listens in is language and communications class.
-Uhara is happy to hear the girl is taking an interest in communications though she knows Jaylah will always stick with engineering.
-she video chats with the enterprise crew quite often and they usually help her with her course work.
-Uhara with communications of course.
-Sulu with the mandatory pilot classes that all cadets have to take.
-Chekov helps her with learning the constellations that she forces herself to learn in case she ever gets lost.
-Kirk is just her chatting buddy and they’ll discuss classical music together along with other things.
-Usually Bones is the one to call her. He does this when Jim has pissed him off or something idiotic has happened and he needs to rant it to someone.
-Spock is the one who listens to her troubles with classes and helps by suggesting things that may help.
-Scotty is the one she always calls when she’s excited about something that happened in class. He feels like a proud father whenever he hears about what she built that day.
-No one at the academy believes Jaylah when she says she knows the famous enterprise crew. Even the teachers scoff at the possibility.
-Everyone jokes about how she’s making up knowing the crew until they show up one day.
-the Enterprise had docked and the crew had practically a month of shore leave so the first thing they did was head to the academy.
- they burst into the room in the middle of one of her history of Starfleet classes. They’re all beaming while the Class and teacher just stare shocked and confused at the sight of the crew.
-Scotty’s the one to yell, “Lassie!” When he sees her.
-Jaylah’s up in a heartbeat and runs over to the crew hugging Scotty first.
- She moves to hug the entire crew after that saying hello to each of them.
- “How you doing Jay?” Kirk asks her.
- “As well as I can James T.” She answers grinning.
-Kirk chuckles and the crew drag the girl out of class.
-No one really sees Jaylah for the rest of the month outside of classes. They’re even shocked when she stops coming to a few of them.
- When she finally does appear again she’s bombarded with people wanting to know how she knows the crew of the enterprise.
-She just grins and answers, “They made my home fly.”
-After that everyone knows not to mess with Jaylah, not only in fear of getting their butts kicked by the woman herself but by the crew that stands behind her as well.
-A few years later at her class’s graduation no one is surprised at all when she’s assigned to the Enterprise or when the entire crew showed up to the ceremony.

(via windbladess)

voltz-mann:

bombing:

fucking doctor trying to tell me i have “radiation poisoning” like it’s something i definitely care about. can i fly or not

(via goblinbutch)

Assorted headcanons about Tolkien characters driving, because I’m on a roadtrip and well we do what we can to pass the time

margotkim:

Bilbo: owns a sensible car that he drives at twice the speed limit through residentials, while Thorin braces himself with a hand on the ceiling, a hand on the dash, and a foot propped up next to it. Lobelia puts up a sign in her neighborhood that says “DRIVE LIKE YOUR KIDS LIVE HERE THAT MEANS YOU BILBO BAGGINS” and Bilbo texts her at a red light a reminder that he doesn’t have any children, thank you. When he adopts Frodo, he slows down a tad to just a quarter over the speed limit, unless Bilbo gets caught up telling one of his stories. He’s been clocked going over one hundred on the road back from Bree; his only defense was that, “The part with the trolls always does get me riled up.”

Thorin: drives ten miles below the speed consistently and obliviously while Bilbo slowly dies from the agony of it in the passenger seat, except when someone cuts him off at which point Thorin tailgates them for miles. His radio presets all lead to static because he’s owned his car for about two decades, and set up the radio stations in his old hometown. He never changes them: he knows that sooner or later he is going back.

Thranduil: owns a fancy sports car that in theory has a backseat and in reality comfortably fits exactly him and maybe one passenger who is still badly hunched over in shotgun (really discourages Legolas from bringing friends home from school). Speeds all the time. Has received multiple speeding tickets for the exact same stretch of road, which he pays and then continues to speed. The local traffic cops all know him and hate him and realize that he funds like a quarter of their operating budget.

Bard: owns a truck. Helps people move with his truck. Is too nice to say no even though he hates helping people move with his truck. When his kids are in the car, he drives exactly the speed limit. When he’s alone, he zips down the road at 14 mph above the speed limit because 15 is the point at which it’s reckless endangerment. He hasn’t gotten a ticket in years though. Most cops like him except the ones that don’t, and the ones that don’t always have the most obvious speed traps. Bard likes to roll through them at exactly the right speed. He nods at Alfrid as he does.

Samwise Gamgee: drives his grandfather’s old motorcycle which is older than Sam himself. It does not pass any emissions tests. It has extremely difficulty going up hills. But it always gets to the top, as Sam cheerfully reminds Mr Frodo, who rides in the little sidecar that Sam’s Gaffer used to transport his bulldog around. Frodo wears a helmet and googles. Sam keeps shouting over the roar of the engine if Frodo is doing alright , which is a nice sentiment that Frodo absolutely cannot hear.

Merry and Pippin: are not allowed to drive anymore. Not after The Incident. But it’s fine because they have plenty of friends who are happy to give them rides, or at least willing to give them rides, or are going to give them rides regardless of their feelings on the matter. Merry and Pippin are masters of the aux cord though. You never drive to better jams than when they are riding with you. It even makes up for all the times they say they just need a ride to a friend’s house and they make you take them to their weed man.

Elrond: arranges the neighborhood carpools. Is not sure how this became his job.

Eowyn: drives a big goddamn truck with a hitch for horses in the back. When men try to tell her how to park it (and men are always trying to tell her how to park it) she stares them down until they slink away. She’s got a lot of old country CDs on constant rotation; she likes hauling the truck up hills to the sounds of the great women of the Grand Ole Opry. She ends up stealing her uncle’s motorcycle from his garage and roaring out of town on it without a helmet is one of those stupid things she’s sorry she waited so long to do.

Boromir: drives an SUV his dad bought for him. Ends up ferrying a lot of hobbits in it. Will never start driving until he’s sure they are all buckled up.

Faramir: owns a smart car because it’s fuel efficient, compact, and easy to park in the city. His father refuses to let him park it in front of his house. Eowyn thinks it’s sweet, even if it is a pain in the ass to try to makeout in the back seat.

Galadriel: is chauffeured. Does not believe in making small talk with the chauffeur but somehow knows everything about him. Once she looks at him with a mischievous glint in her eyes and says, “why don’t I drive today?” And then proceeds to go roaring down a road recorded on no map or GPS while the chauffeur holds on for dear life. They arrive unscathed and ahead of schedule. Galadriel smiles knowing at the chauffeur until he can collect himself enough to go around and open her door.

Aragorn: owns my grandfather’s station wagon, which means it’s a partially rusted behemoth full of tarps, propane, fishing gear, and an odd smell identifiable only as “woodsy old man”. Everything in his car seems to be covered in a strange powder. It’s either dirt or the physical manifestation of age. He has a glovebox full of maps to towns you aren’t sure exist anymore along country roads you’re pretty sure are overrun. In his garage, there’s another car covered by a tarp. Rumor has it that it’s a big old fancy car that would make aficionados weep at the sight of it, but you peeked under there once and it looked nice and all but you can’t help but think Aragorn looks better in his old reliable rust bucket.

Gandalf: owns an ancient Volkswagen van. Never uses turn signals. Is offended that you would imply he needs to.

(Source: andhumanslovedstories, via bronzedragon)