i swear when i get older im gonna end up writing, like, auntie lia’s big big book of practical life advice for garbage humans
“remember, don’t take random pills you just find on the ground because you’re ‘curious what will happen’”, “never trust a psychiatrist”, “most ghosts will leave you alone if you just tell em to scram in a real assertive tone of voice”, “mix some salsa into the instant mac n cheese so you don’t get scurvy”, “lies it’s okay to tell in a job interview 101: an introduction”, “accepting the inevitable embrace of the grave, but not right this minute”, “diy haircuts for the broke, lazy, and/or sensorily hypersensitive”, “can’t i just glue it back together? a comprehensive guide to household items”
#‘who among us has NOT been drunk in the folklore section of the public library?’– the beginning of one chapter #‘sometimes we all find ourselves with so many plastic bags that it becomes an eyesore and a safety hazard’– another one
so what youre saying is that this book will be cowritten by me
“the authors are definitely real alive humans, who have not managed to blow themselves up yet”– bio clip on the inside jacket
#how to live– barely: a handy guide for complete disasters #NOW WITH PANCAKE RECIPES
i can already taste the tens of dollars of revenue we will be making
Are you kidding, I can think of forty college juniors off the top of my head who would pay fifty bucks a pop for an Adulting 101 guide. And I go to a really small college.
(via academicfeminist)
