????? This is the guy in my English class that I only contact when I wasn’t in class. It’s too early for this.
If you’ve had some creep send you something worse than this, please let me know.
So he forgot he requested me on Facebook…I messaged his mother.
You know you fucked up when your mom tells someone to call the police about your ridiculous behavior because she tried but she is DONE, you’re supposed to be a man by now.
these are colorblind glasses. im about to take a walk around the neighborhood and experience colors like normal people. wish me luck, updates to come.
the trees. holy shit the trees. theyre different colors. like, a million different colors
grass….. it looks so soft… so green…
after laying in the grass for about an hour staring at the autumn leaves and laughing at how blue the sky is, i have some insight to share:
why the fuck do you people buy red cars like i had no idea how bright and obnoxious they looked
there are BERRIES on the trees. like bright red. id never noticed them because they blended in. a new problem has arisen now: how the fuck do you people keep yourselves from trying to eat them they’re so tempting looking
the fallen leaves are so beautiful and colorful and you all are heathens for stepping on them just to hear the crunchy sound they make
rainbows. let me tell you about rainbows. i see rainbows as various shades of brown and yellow, plus some blue. vaguely purple.
a few days ago, i saw a rainbow in these glasses. it had just finished raining and then the sun came out, and my friend and i scrambled out the door.
i saw green. red. orange. real, actual violet.
i cried. i cried so hard. i saw every color - something i never thought would happen in my life. imagine living your life without knowing something so beautiful exists, and all of a sudden it appears before your eyes. theres no way to prepare for it. the rainbow only lasted for five minutes before it disappeared, but every with second i stood there i became more amazed at how beautiful this world actually is, i just had no idea.
Hashmi’s tweet went viral, with over 25,000 likes. Hashmi also made the list available to all via a google spreadsheet. The sheet lists what was condemned, who condemned it and a link to evidence of this. It took her about three weeks to complete.
• gunpowder & lead - miranda lambert (abuser is shot to death)
• independence day - martina mcbride (abusive husband/father is burned alive in house which wife/mother set on fire to protect her daughter)
• blown away - carrie underwood (abusive father left to die in a tornado by daughter on purpose)
• two black cadillacs - carrie underwood (cheating man killed by wife and mistress who then pretend to be sad at his funeral)
• church bells - carrie underwood (abusive husband poisoned by wife)
• goodbye earl - dixie chicks (abusive husband killed by two women, one he abused and her best friend)
• mama’s broken heart - miranda lambert (implied revenge against abusive boyfriend despite narrator’s mother’s advice)
I work in a decent sized, local, indie bookstore. It’s a great job 99% of the time and a lot of our customers are pretty neat people. Any who, middle of the day this little old lady comes up. She’s lovably kooky. She effuses how much she loves the store and how she wishes she could spend more time in it but her husband is waiting in the car (OH! I BETTER BUY HIM SOME CHOCOLATE!), she piles a bunch of art supplies on the counter and then stops and tells me how my bangs are beautiful and remind her of the ocean (“Wooooosh” she says, making a wave gesture with her hand)
Ok. I think to myself. Awesomely happy, weird little old ladies are my favorite kind of customer. They’re thrilled about everything and they’re comfortably bananas. I can have a good time with this one. So we chat and it’s nice.
Then this kid, who’s been up my counter a few times to gather his school textbooks, comes up in line behind her (we’re connected to a major university in the city so we have a lot of harried students pass through). She turns around to him and, out of nowhere, demands that he put his textbooks on the counter. He’s confused but she explains that she’s going to buy his textbooks.
He goes sheetrock white. He refuses and adamantly insists that she can’t do that. It’s like, $400 worth of textbooks. She, this tiny old woman, bodily takes them out of her hands, throws them on the counter and turns to me with a intense stare and tells me to put them on her bill. The kid at this point is practically in tears. He’s confused and shocked and grateful. Then she turns to him and says “you need chocolate.” She starts grabbing handfuls of chocolates and putting them in her pile.
He keeps asking her “why are you doing this?” She responds “Do you like Harry Potter?“ and throws a copy of the new Cursed Child on the pile too.
Finally she’s done and I ring her up for a crazy amount of money. She pays and asks me to please give the kid a few bags for his stuff. While I’m bagging up her merchandise the kid hugs her. We’re both telling her how amazing she is and what an awesome thing she’s done. She turns to both of us and says probably one of the most profound, unscripted things I’ve ever had someone say:
“It’s important to be kind. You can’t know all the times that you’ve hurt people in tiny, significant ways. It’s easy to be cruel without meaning to be. There’s nothing you can do about that. But you can choose to be kind. Be kind.”
The kid thanks her again and leaves. I tell her again how awesome she is. She’s staring out the door after him and says to me: “My son is a homeless meth addict. I don’t know what I did. I see that boy and I see the man my son could have been if someone had chosen to be kind to him at just the right time.”
I’ve bagged up all her stuff and at this point am super awkward and feel like I should say something but I don’t know what. Then she turns to me and says: I wish I could have bangs like that but my darn hair is just too curly.“ And leaves.
And that is the story of the best customer I’ve ever had. Be kind to somebody today.
@tinyadventureclub Last week I pulled off the most mundane prank possible in my office and all my colleagues have been talking about it for days.
We “clock in” by moving these tiny magnetic dots from the “out” square to the “in” square on a magnetic board. Everyone has their own black dot next to their name. For the last several months, someone has consistently been moving Grumpy Dan’s dot to various corners of the board. This outrages Grumpy Dan, and we enjoy watching his rants.
Well, the Dot Bandit hadn’t acted for several weeks, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and move Grumpy Dan’s dot on my own. Sure enough, Grumpy Dan comes in an hour later and starts yelling–only this time, he thinks he’s found the culprit. “Gerry! Freaking Gerry keeps moving my dot! How dare he!”
And so Dan moves Gerry’s dot.
Gerry comes in five minutes later. “NIIIIIIICK, DON’T MOVE MY DOT!” Gerry moves Nick’s dot.
Nick comes in two minutes later. “Jack just loves to mess with me, doesn’t he?” Nick takes Jack’s dot and puts it on the sink in the men’s bathroom (because Nick likes to take things to the next level.)
It’s already going well. Then I want to step it up a notch.
I have this pack of emoji stickers with me (because you should carry stickers with you at all times.) I put a smiley face on Grumpy Dan’s dot and wait for him to come back through.
Grumpy Dan returns. For the first time in my six months of working here, I see him smile. “Who did this?” He’s grinning. “This is…so nice.”
Jack comes in. “Oh look, Dan got a sticker! How cool!” When Jack leaves, I put a sticker on his. Every time someone notices the stickers out loud, I put one on their dot when they walk away, until everyone has one. Mostly animals. Everyone’s chattering–“I got a caterpillar!” “Why did he get a grizzly bear and I got a dolphin? What does that mean?” “Awww, a ladybug! How cute!”
My boss loves it. He thinks we should change the stickers seasonally. He wants to mix it up by doing shamrocks at Christmas and Easter bunnies on the 4th of July.
Everyone still smiles when they come in and look at the board.
I’m still pretty proud of myself for managing to make an entire local government office talk to each other and laugh about something so mundane.
And that’s my tiny adventure! Can I get a merit badge? :)
