Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

fujoshi-kianna-leigh:

thesylverlining:

birdbolts:

so back when i was in college, someone in creative writing class with a friend of mine wrote a story. it started out as a simple story of a wedding, and the bride and groom were arguing over infidelity that may or may not have happened and then some weird dude showed up and said some cryptic shit and left.

and then the guy showed up again, much later, at the reception. naked.

and then he ran to the cake. and began fucking it. 

i used to have a printout of the story and i distinctly remember the line “oh my god, he’s fucking the cake!”

the most amazing part is that was written for a grade.

someone wrote this story.

someone wrote this story, where a man puts his dick in a wedding cake and fucks it until he’s had enough, and handed it in for credit. he did not fail the class.

if cake fucker guy can write a story and have faith in it, so can you. believe in yourself.

I like to reblog inspirational writing things. Usually they’re stuff like “you can do it!” and “tips for staying motivated” and character development and worldbuilding.

This… takes the cake, you might say.

if cake fucker guy can write a story and have faith in it, so can you. believe in yourself.

(Source: lumenant, via littlestartopaz)

em-kellesvig:

gutterowl:

roachpatrol:

gutterowl:

roachpatrol:

gutterowl:

roachpatrol:

manyblinkinglights:

glimmerbulb:

manyblinkinglights:

curlicuecal:

roachpatrol:

manyblinkinglights:

id wreak mayhem for a really good scifi where sight was considered as exotic and numinous as telepathy by the protag species

#everybody else uses sonar or long whiskers and that thing with the sensing electrical impulses#meanwhile: humans can ‘see’ which is a thing which is like and yet unlike ordinary perception#it would also only ever come into play in the same frivolous ‘VULCAN STRENGTH’ sort of way as Spock’s extra attributes#for maximum effect vision would be faithfully written as 100% an asspull in the best way

what the fuck dude this is awesome i want this too now

Okay, but what about those deep sea fish that produce light at a wavelength that *only they can see.* Predators that can somehow sense you in a completely undectable and unfathomable manner to you; they might as well be psychic.

YES, EXACTLY–vision is SUCH an asspull?? Sometimes it’s “"dark”“ and we can’t see anything. And also we’re impaired for plot reasons! Sometimes ALIEN WEAPONRY or otherwise-innocuous ship components are ”“too bright”“ and we yell and try to hide, subject to some sort of obscure, tortuous imperative. The rest of the time we can UNERRINGLY tell when anyone is trying to play pranks on us, the names and emotional/physical status of EVERY SINGLE BEING IN THE ROOM (or, when outside civilized warrens, ”“line of sight”“)–and yes, of course, can’t forget about our nigh-mythical fighting arts revolving around insane dodging skills.

And SNIPING. And also, god, fuck–don’t forget about completely arbitrary “”””atmospheric disturbances””” (fog, smoke–the new “ionic interference”) ALSO plottasatically rendering our abilities moot.

Plus, some people have more powerful Vision than others, but some people have a very short effective range of Vision. However, humans have come up with devices that “change the angles of refraction” of the “light” so that the naturally impaired have their skills enhanced–but they can always be knocked off their faces or be broken.

Also some people are terrible at normal Vision work, but have excellent night vision and are skilled at working under adverse conditions.

Oooh, and human art is almost entirely Vision based. Think about non-seeing aliens trying to access the majority of human art!

IM!!! SCREAMING!!! GLASSES. Glasses are SUCH another great Weird Alien Gimmick. God–you get all used to your Human friend and their bizarre abilities, you just start to really trust in and rely on them in tight places and problem-solving a little bit, then you get fucken marooned on a fucken planetoid somewhere and they just in this very small little voice, after you have pulled them from the wreckage and sat down to go over your options, inform you that they’ve lost their glasses.

Oh my god and an episode where we’re up against Evil Humans and our heros turn to their humans like ‘you can see them, right, you can tell when they’re near? you can counter them?’ and our hero is genuinely shaken and worried— they’ve got high-tech military mechanical enhancers, the devices strapped to their heads let them see anywhere, they can operate in near-absolute ‘darkness’, they can operate in near-lethal ‘brightness’, they can see through walls— not doors, not glass, but walls. 

Then we have a heroic scene where the crew’s human is the scrappy, desperate underdog for once instead of the cool and collected superbeing. It is super cool. The human and the captain probably mack wildly on one another in medbay after this. Roll credits. 

Person 1:  I dunno, dude.  This ‘light’ stuff sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me.  I mean, how do we know it’s even real?

Person 2:  Seriously, how can something be a wave and a particle?  That doesn’t even make sense.

Mysterious Human: Even if you cannot perceive the light, you can feel its warmth–

Person 1: Oh my god, please shut it with the mystical hoo-hah.  You’re insufferable.

Mysterious, somewhat exasperated Human: the ‘light’ enters the sensitive paired apertures in our faces, passing through biological lenses and chambers to stimulate specific nerves we call ‘rods’ and ‘cones’. one set of nerves tells us the volume of light we’re perceiving, while the other estimates the wavelength frequency. the total input creates in our mind a continuous sonarscape of immense complexity, where we can perceive ‘textures’ that are impossible to understand with mere sound or touch. this is why my people’s communication devices are small, flat, silent boards: we ‘read’ the patterns of light they emit as language and ‘watch’ the patterns of light they emit as sonarscapes.

Captain: okay…. sounds fake, but okay…

And they just keep on making up new bullshit rules for how light works, like

Navigator: Warp drive engaged.  We are approaching 90% of the Lorentz limit.

Human:  What now?

Navigator:  Oh, uh, it’s really complex, but lemme try.  So, matter can only move so fast through space, right?  Like absolutely, nothing can ever ever possibly go faster than like about 3 hundred million meters per second–

Human: Ah yes.  The speed of light.

Navigator:  …oh for fuck’s sake.

Captain: My god! Time! Has… frozen! 

Human: Fuuuuuuuuck. 

Captain: What?

Human: Remember how light is a wave and a particle?

Captain: Yes, we mention this every episode. 

Human: Yeah, light’s frozen along with everything else. I can’t see shit. 

Captain: My god! Our sonar doesn’t work either! The soundwaves— they can’t propagate through this frozen air! We’ll have to use just our whiskers!

Human: Fuuuuuuuuck. 

The fanfiction for this show has to be amazing.

“Shh. Don’t try to hide your needs, Captain,” Hue Mann soothed.  “My sight has told me all about your traumatic memories of the war.”

“What?” Captain gasped.  “But…how…?”

“The light knows all,” explained Hue.  “Time slows down at the speed of light.  It sees all of the past..and all of the future.”

“And what is it telling you now?” questioned the Captain.

Hue leaned in close. “It tells me, ‘Mate with them now, you lovestruck fool!”

“Damn you, Hue Mann.  Damn you and your penetrating ‘eyes.’”

“Oh,” breathed Hue, voice husky and sexual.  “That’s not all my eyes can…penetrate.” 

goddamn, you people amaze me.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

chivalrousgambler:

sabrinagrimm:

sabrinagrimm:

me huntin for the pussy

SSTOP REBLOGGING THIS I’M A STRAIGHT 14 YEAR OLD WHITE GIRL

Not anymore now you’re an adult-sized gynephiliac skeleton creeping eternally in a white expanse hunting for some choice vaginas.

You made your bed now lie in it.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

harrypotterfliesthetardis:

mechinaries:

iseeavoice:

qalaba:

iseeavoice:

A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”

#’what are we having tonight’ ‘italian’ ‘TALK TO ME’

best so far.

TEAM JACOB

(Source: vampireapologist, via bleedingwillow96)