pristinepastel said: Hey, i know you like the first mummy, but what about the mummy returns?
I HAVE RETURNED…after like a day.
but what the people want, the people get!
RIGHT SO THE MUMMY RETURNS!
aka the only sequel that is 1000% just as good as the first one. like holy shit.
ten years later and we meet our heroes again. rick and evie are happily married, going on adventures, and evie’s dream of becoming a respected scholar has come true and they’ve made a tiny human!
the only unrealistic part being that they only had one kid, i mean they are still all over each other ten years later and you’re telling me they only had ONE kid.
okay. sure jan.
but boy o’ boy is that one kid awesome!
alex o’connell. this kid is literally:
50% evie super-klutz-genius.
50% rick screams-at-things-that-are-illogical-to-scream-at.
50% uncle jonathan’s sheer dumb luck and wit.
10% i’m really bad at math.
you get the point. HE’S GREAT. also the actor passed on harry potter because, JUST LIKE ME, the mummy 1999 was his favorite movie and he just HAD to be in the sequel. alex is just such a smart-ass little shit. that much like his mother, accidentally brings about the apocalypse by opening something he shouldn’t have:
ARDETH BAY TIME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. he has a much bigger role in this one. GOD BLESS.(because he was supposed to die in the first one, but test audiences loved him as much as we do, so they kept his fine ass around) he still looks prettier than everyone and is still so done with white people once again.
*after almost being killed on he bus* “this was my first bus ride.” *after realizing they’re gonna make him fly again* “why can’t you people ever keep your feet on the ground?”
he’s just such an awesome A+ friend goals, because while he probably needs to go be with other medjai to prepare for battle against anubis’ army (yikes), he stays with the fam to rescue alex. it wasn’t even much of a thought for him really, rick and evie just batted their eyelashes and he was like: *sighs* “these white people are always messing my shit up, but they are my white people.”
rick: he’s still screaming at things. BUT IN DAD MODE. he’s the ultimate dad.
“you, lighten up. you, big trouble. you, get in the car.” *sweetly* “honey, what are you doing, these guys don’t use doors.” “knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you’re about to do to him, but this is my house and i have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.”
evie: still a super-klutz nerd, but with C O N F I D E N C E. little baby librarian is now a honey badger of ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK! and also a re-incarnated princess
“no harm ever came from opening a chest.”
rick: “i swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.” evelyn: “you mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?”
we meet izzy, another one of rick’s ex boyfriends, who is a much more reliable mode of transportation than previously mentioned murder buses.
imhotep: still emo. still wants to make out with his gf.
anck su namun/meela: hella good villain. she bomb af and 100% wants to take over the world. amazing. she actually has like a really cool role this time too!!! like so much screen time.
the rock…i mean the scorpion king, he’s another emo villain with goofy cgi rendering and like 4 million terrible made-for-TV spin off movies that you are lying if you haven’t watched at least one of them and felt that utter disappointment. but who cares the rock is pretty. and this was his first acting role and the reason we have him where he is today.
thank you mummy returns for giving the world actor rock johnson #blessed
normal action movie sequel romance: same guy. different girl. repeat of first movie’s romance. hehehehhehehehhEHEHEHEHHEHH.
not here bitch.
rick and evie’s love has only grown stronger. they still bicker like old ladies at bingo night. the still look at each other like they hung the moon. they’re still disgusting jonathan because they CANNOT KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES. one kid my ass. they still support each other and protect each other like crazy. they love each other so much and it’s so healthy and pure and there is some good in this world mr. frodo.
Yes, let’s just ignore that whole part in the middle where she was being hunted by a mummy who tried to use her body as a vessel for his dead lover.
I’ve seen a handful of comments like this and I just wanted to address it because I think it’s worth talking about. I realise my summation of the film is flippant; it was an attempt at irony because obviously the movie is full of gruesome death and dismemberment, and I fully agree that Evie is terrorized. But that’s not what the film is about. It’s not about Evie the human sacrifice - that’s something that happens to her but it isn’t who she is.
The point is, the whole plot of The Mummy literally could not happen without Evie pursuing the thing that she loves.
They go out to Hamunaptra because Evie is passionate about knowledge and discovery, and when they get there she is in her element - she is loving every minute of it and she is proud of herself and she is absolutely going to kiss Mr O’Connell. But once that thirst for knowledge and discovery inadvertantly raises Imhotep, and there is literally fire and brimstone raining from the sky, and everyone else is running and hiding, she never ever once despairs. She accepts responsibility, she owns her mistake and she refuses to believe there is nothing to be done. She follows her passions again and decides that more knowledge and more discovery is what’s required. And she’s right. She finds the answer and she takes triumphant pleasure in proving to herself that she is a greater scholar than the ones at Bembridge, the ones who have repeatedly found her lacking.
Do you realise how rare it is for a female character’s intellectual pursuit to be the thing that kicks off the action and the thing that saves the day, AND a source of ultimate joy in her life?
When Imhotep comes for her she goes without a fight, to save her companions’ lives, because she knows that’s the best chance they have. When Rick and Jonathan and Ardeth come to save her she is pivotal in her own rescue. She is never a Damsel, she is always part of the team.
And then Evie SAVES THE WORLD. She saves the world by doing the thing that she loves and is good at. She saves the world, she gets the guy, and they ride off into the sunset with some treasure. And really, that’s a pretty good end to a day.
Also, she is one of the very, very few cool librarians in fiction. And she is proud of that.
It’s totally consistent with him in movie 1, too. Like it’s so clear that his entire experience of her is “….oh wow this woman. She’s so amazing. She just gets more amazing. Oh, oh wow. Maybe like I could stay with her. How do I make her like me. I KNOW I WILL STEAL HER A SET OF ARCHEOLOGY TOOLS. SHE LOVES ARCHEOLOGY. YEAH GO RICK.”
And by movie 2 it’s obvious he’s spent the past however many years living a life of “omg am married. TO EVIE. I have a wife. EVIE IS MY WIFE. OH JESUS I HAVE A KID. :D :D I HAVE A FAMILY AND A LIFE. WITH EVIE. WHO IS MY WIFE.”
Interspersed with “why is my wife trying to get us killed. Why is my son trying to get us killed. Or at least himself killed. JONATHAN WHAT YOU DO. Evie no. Evie love of my life no. EVIE. ALEX!! OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE! JONATHAN!!! Why does everyone I love have the self-preservation instincts of SOMETHING THAT HAS NO SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCTS?!”
Every once in a great while, I will tell somebody “You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance.”
…And then I’ll be sad, because they have no idea what I’m talking about.
I only gamble with my life, never my money.
The Mummy fandom on Tumblr is hella strong
What up mummy fandom I didn’t know existed! Loved this movie. Need to watch it again.
I quote “You’re on the wrong side of the river” constantly.
I’m going to grad school soon to be a librarian and I can’t wait to get drunk and quote all of Evy’s lines.
I’m an archaeology student and I recently re-watched this and the instant they made it clear that it was set in the 1920s I was completely cool with everything about it because archaeology in the 1920s was mostly drinking and blowing things up.
archaeology in the 1920s was mostly drinking and blowing things up
