littlestartopaz:
“martianbees:
“ creed-of-corruption:
“ island-delver-go:
“ secretsinthemargin:
“ I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.
This is honestly the most wild...

littlestartopaz:

martianbees:

creed-of-corruption:

island-delver-go:

secretsinthemargin:

I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.

This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day.

OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:

“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”

“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”

“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”

YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”

@spec-fiction-leigh @words-writ-in-starlight

littlestartopaz:

buddhistmamaduck:

derelictjet:

pretzel-log1c:

supercolm:

I graduated from university in June 2016 with a bachelor’s degree in English with Creative Writing, and this will forever be my legacy:

Ah yes, the fic with the most kudos on all of ao3.

I haven’t seen this before, but I REALLY hope it’s just 1308 words of “I am Groot” repeated over and over

Buddy….

@words-writ-in-starlight

(Source: supercolm)

slyrider:

dat-soldier:

grossrabbit:

grossrabbit:

I know a guy who ended up becoming a professional chef because of the tim burton charlie and the chocolate factory movie and i guarantee none of you will be able to guess how

ok so this movie came out like, 2005ish? And this kid was in his early teens, so 12-14 years old i guess. And he’s watching this movie and there’s the scene where the chewing gum kid, Violet something, is chewing the gum that tastes like a three course meal and the first two tastes are tomato soup and roast beef and that’s all well and good but then it gets to blueberry pie and OOP she’s all swollen up like a ten-foot tall human blueberry. And this kid, being the age he was, had just kinda started puberty and might’ve had a little crush on Violet to start with, so all the feelings and hormones got a lil mixed up while watching that scene and he ended up with a great big inflation kink. So this is a thing for a few more years, he’s cranking his hog to deviantart pictures of big ol balloon ladies and the kink develops (as they sometimes do) into one where he gets off from watching those videos where people eat a ton of food. But then from there he starts to become interested, not in the person eating the food, but the food itself. Pretty soon he’s watching cooking video tutorials and attempting to cook for his family and within a couple years he’s got good. Real good. So good, in fact, that he publishes a modest cookbook at age 17 and makes enough money off selling it to buy himself a car. By the time he’s graduated highschool he’s had scholarships and apprenticeship offers from no less that 5 separate cooking schools, three of which were international. He told me all this inbetween throwing up in a bathtub at a party we were both at. I hadn’t actually met him beforehand but id seen him around school a few times (he was a couple years older than me). Last I heard of him, he’s working as the head chef in some big boy restaurant back in my city and has at least one award for something. And that’s how some guy became a professional chef thanks to tim burtons charlie and the chocolate factory movie

that’s how it is sometimes

@words-writ-in-starlight

nonbinarysapphic:

me: gravel to tempo is the hymn of every sapphic whos ever had an unrequited crush on a girl

hayley kiyoko: You are like a little Baby. Watch this

image

(via goblinbutch)

orgy-of-nerdiness:

shrewreadings:

writertobridge:

I am. So angry.

Listen to me.

I do not care whether or not you believe vaccines cause autism. Even though studies have shown time and time again that vaccines don’t cause autism and the original study stating that there was a link with autism and vaccines was fraudulent, it does not matter.

The reason that people are concerned about vaccines causing autism is because they’re not thinking of the long-term. Here’s the truth: when you are choosing to not having your child vaccinated because you’re afraid of autism, you are actively choosing death over a neurodevelopmental disorder. Let me phrase that in another way – you are either picking autism or death. It doesn’t have to be the death of your child. It can be literally any child. And death is the worst case scenario. Autism is not the worst case scenario. Death is always and will constantly be the worst case scenario.

There are children who are too young to get vaccines. There are kids who have compromised immune systems that cannot get vaccines. Your child getting vaccinated prevents these illnesses from spreading and keeps those children safe. It’s called community immunity and it’s important to maintain that so people don’t die.

tl;dr - Stop being a selfish asshole and get your kids vaccinated. There are worse things in the world than autism.

And before anyone starts coming to my inbox screaming about how “I don’t know how bad autism can be”, I know. Not only do I have a neurodevelopmental disorder, but I also had a friend with a severely autistic brother that could not talk when he was fifteen. I know. And even after witnessing him and being through my own shit, I would still get my kids vaccinated because I want them, and other kids, to live.

WTF, people.

Why the fuck do you think that your fear of autism (ungrounded, btw), beats someone else’s RIGHT TO LIVE?!?!

You don’t want to vaccinate your kid. Goody gumdrops.

You expose your godchild - who’s too young to be vaccinated.

You expose your sister-in-law - who is going through chemo (because having cancer isn’t bad enough), and immunocompromised.

You expose everyone they come in contact with - BECAUSE MEASLES STAYS ACTIVE FOR UP TO TWO HOURS ON SURFACES AND IN THE AIR OF A SPACE.

Number of people killed by symptoms associated with autism diagnoses: 0.

Number of people killed by measles in 2015: 134,000

Number of people killed per annum before vaccination became widespread in 1980: 2,600,000 (paraphrased from WHO).

(Source: World Health Organization. http://who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs286/en/)

VACCINATE YOUR FUCKING KIDS.

Measles is not harmless. Researchers noticed that after the measles vaccine came out, kids started dying less from other diseases as well. It turns out that measles suppresses your immune system for YEARS (and no, no amount of vitamin C or zinc is going to make up for that).

Source (on mobile so these are going to be ugly links) NPR article (easier reading, you don’t have to be a scientist): http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/05/07/404963436/scientists-crack-a-50-year-old-mystery-about-the-measles-vaccine
Article in Science (a very highly ranked journal): http://science.sciencemag.org/content/348/6235/694

VACCINATE YOUR FUCKING KIDS

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

words-writ-in-starlight:

jam-art:

thranduil sleeps calmer knowing even if his son married a dwarf at least he married The Supermodel dwarf and singlehandedly crushed the hopes of single dwarves and dwarrowdams everywhere

this is my headcanon and you will never take it from me.

listen, just Listen for a second, okay.

Gimli Gloinul is from the line of Durin okay, he’s from the line of KINGS, his bloodline stands up against Legolas’ perfectly, if the elves and dwarves got their shit together for a hot second they would be like “YES, PERFECT, A DIPLOMATIC MARRIAGE TO BIND OUR HOUSES TOGETHER AND NEVER SHALL THE TWAIN THROW ONE ANOTHER TO DRAGONS…again.”  because you have a king’s son and a king’s nephew which, well, I love Dain but he’s not an EREBOR KING and GIMLI IS FROM THE FAMILY OF EREBOR KINGS.

And Gimli acts like he’s from the line of Erebor kings, too, okay, he’s a diplomat and a warrior and a nobleman, he’s the sort of person who SAYS things like ‘faithless is he who says fairwell when the road darkens’ and stares down Elrond Peredhil in his own home when his strength and faith are questioned.  And he’s the kind of person who swears his allegiance to people he barely knows because it’s Right and Good and Gimli knows it.

And Thorin Oakenshield was handsome, and his sister the lady Dis is beautiful, and Gimli’s cousins Fili and Kili were fine young dwarrows, and Gimli’s mother is a great beauty.

Basically my point here is that Gimli, proud strong gimli with his firebeard hair and bold laugh and mithril tongue and clever fingers, broke the hearts of everyone in Erebor and not a few people outside of Erebor when he married a goddamn elf.  Like.  Not even Arwen Undomiel (WHO MARRIED A GODDAMN HUMAN, it’s been a weird couple of years in Middle-Earth, everyone wonders strongly if they’ve been drinking too much).  Like he’s not even marrying a great beauty of the elves, Legolas isn’t ugly by elvish standards but also he’s nothing particularly special, and he’s not a great diplomat, and he’s BARELY a king’s son because everyone knows that Mirkwood elves are…a little odd.  Legolas is a big cheerful hunter who sings songs he doesn’t remember all of, who chatters to trees and has no sense of the right thing to say even if he’s developed enough self-preservation to know the wrong thing to say, and FOR THE LOVE OF MAHAL HE FIGHTS WITH A BOW.

“GIMLI” Gloin bellows “YOU TURNED DOWN THIRTY-TWO SUITORS FROM FINE DWARVISH LINES FOR THIS”

“Ignore him, amrâlime, he’ll get over it” Gimli says in amusement as he beckons Legolas over to his forge, where he’s carefully smithing mithril-inlaid gold marriage clasps that will grip fine elvish hair.  It’s too hot in the forge to wear shirts, if you’re working.  Every dwarf in twenty feet stops what they’re doing to watch Gimli’s biceps flex as he holds up a jewel for Legolas’ inspection.

“YOU COULD HAVE HAD A HAREM” Gloin wails from down the hall.

(via bonehandledknife)

just adhd things

slyrider:

commanderfantasy:

adhd-queer:

• hyperfocus until u die
• unless u actually need to focus, in which case: no
• “if you cared, you’d remember”
• bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce
• “just write a note for yourself!”/“just get organized!”
• casual interests??? those aren’t real
• forgot to eat for three days oops
• time is a man-made construct and nothing is real
• when ur brain won’t shh so u can sleep
• “but ur so smart!!1” ok what’s ur point
• talking about a hyperfixation and ur very !!!!!! but ur audience seems uninterested and u get Sad™

•the cousin of forgetting to eat: my god I’m hungry all the time
•why are you so loud? I DONT LIKE TO REPEAT MYSELF
•could not tell thing you were trying to say for three minutes? It’s gone now. Doesn’t matter how important
•song stuck in head has been there for 2 days, you do not even like this song
•distraction distraction distraction and over focus over focus over focus
•my brain got better connection on the task at hand than my internet got connection to my laptop

@words-writ-in-starlight

WHOA STOP EVERYTHING

ARE HYPERFIXATIONS A THING

LIKE SPECIAL INTERESTS FOR ADHD

W H O A