college is just as ridiculous as everyone thinks it is
last term i was 35 minutes into the first day of a roman society class and there was this dude eating burritos in the third row, and the prof asked him a question and the dude just went “i would love to answer, but it just occured to me this is NOT honours environmental economics” and stood up and left
white dude in this horror movie : *translates old arabic text* *somehow it rhymes perfectly in english*
Now I really wanna see a horrible faltering translation from one of these movies, like “Whomsoever enters this room, they shall… well, this word is like… literally it means ‘unbecome,’ but it was used as a euphemism for death, pooping, and—wait, when was this carved? was it 15th century? Cuz it was a euphemism for sex too in the 15th century. This is either a cursed crypt, a bathroom, or a royal bedroom. Who wants to roll the dice?”
“You guys, I’ve gotta be honest, okay? This thing’s written in some kind of weird localized dialect, and I’ve only ever studied the standard form of the language. I mean, this part right here…I can’t even tell if it’s some kind of error, or an obscure slang phrase…whatever it is, I have no idea what the fuck it means.”
‘this is written in ancient sumerian. it’s about… uh… well that word is… uh. okay this is either a poem about farming, or straight-up a nasty sex guide. it might be both. i want a shower.’
“okay see the thing is in one dialect this word is the name of a terrifying Demon but in a completely different language from the same area that has the same writing system and gave a lot of loan words to the first, it means ‘horse’ - and the context is really not helping”
“You know what? This thing is bound in human skin and the walls are bleeding let’s just leave.”
Him:
This is the vehicle by which they will force feminism down my throat. This is the Trojan Horse Hollywood leftists will use to insist on the idea that women are equal to men in all things, including physique, strength, and logic. And this is the subterfuge they will use to blur the lines between masculinity and femininity, further ruining women for men, and men for wo -
Me, turning to the waitress, screaming:
hi excuse me could you please WITNESS ME????????????
Me:
[hurling every single breadstick on the table at him as if they're projectile weapons]
Waitress, while handing me more breadsticks:
WITNESS!!!!!!!!!!!
Me reading a retelling of an Arthurian legend:
It's amazing how I can love Merlin in one version and hate him in another. It's so much fun to see all ways people imagine King Arthur as a good or bad king, and I love seeing characters like Nimue and Mordred depicted in all sorts of ways, from wicked through and through to being misunderstood and full of goodness. There are so many ways to imagine these characters, and none are wrong!
Me reading a version in which Guinevere isn't a good person:
why is this book so full of sin
