With a screenplay by Rhianna Pratchett, daughter of Terry Pratchett, we’re finally going to see an adaptation of The Wee Free Men.
The Wee Free Men introduced Tiffany Aching, the young witch who starred in several of Pratchett’s last Discworld books. It also features a group of Discworld characters who seem absolutely perfect for a Jim Henson movie: the Nac Mac Feegle, a community of foul-mouthed and gleefully violent gnomes.
Now that Deadpool 2 has been confirmed, folks are getting all worked up over what new characters might be introduced. There’s been talk that the director really wants X-23, but there’s also concern that now that Negasonic Teenage Warhead is popular, their roles might overlap too much to accommodate both of them (and realistically, there’s no way that Negasonic won’t be in the sequel).
I would like to propose a solution:
Introduce X-23 as Negasonic Teenage Warhead’s love interest.
listen ok. so there’s that typical horror trope about the family and the haunted house and yadda yadda.
but like, have a movie where this family has gone through many haunted houses before, to the point where they move into this new one and are like ‘okay. fresh start number seven.’ and then basically throughout the movie avoid and deflect any typical horror event from the house like it’s no big deal.
something’s under the teen girl’s bed? she takes a can of bug spray and some chloroform and uses that shit on the demon creature without turning an eye from whoever she was texting. mom’s cooking and the family’s nowhere to be found? weird creaking noises? she sighs and continues cooking. family comes through the back door later with some blood on them and carrying a few hockey masks. mom doesn’t question it. family looks exhausted and irritated. younger brother walks into his room to find the dog trapped in the wardrobe, wardrobe unable to open? seeping dark smoke and gross liquids? move it and throw some salt around that thang and kick in the back of the wardrobe. dog hops out with a scoff and trots to the door of the room and down the stairs. a shadow follows. lots of growling and snarling and scuffling. a shadow runs fuckin outie back down the hall in fear. dad is in the garage working in the car. car shuts it’s doors and locks them. he is unable to get out. he sighs and starts the car. might as well go get groceries.
family don’t give a fuck.
hello, yes, how much do movies cost and how would I fund this
May you write 1,500 words with ease. May your characters be lively and not cardboard. May you need little editing. May your muse visit you as soon as you sit. May the Internet not distract you much. May your phone lie dormant while you write.
After watching Mad Max I got to thinking of other movies that Tom Hardy could be in recasting Mel Gibson. Here’s one. I could see Orlando Jones doing a ton of facepalming since he does that on Sleepy Hollow while trying to keep his unstable partner under control.
buddy cop movie with hayley atwell and idris elba as unlikely partners and dwayne the rock johnson as the bakery owner who witnesses a violent crime in the alley behind his shop and has to be protected
#what do you mean you don’t know how to punch? you’re jacked dude! #hey making dough isn’t easy! these are the result of grating carrots for carrot cake!
I want the Deadpool movie to have absolutely no regard for
the fourth wall.
I want Wade to do something and be like, “damn, that’ll look
amazing on the big screen”.
I want him to laugh at people watching in 3D when he whips
his katanas out abruptly and they undoubtedly flinch.
I want him to be in the middle of an intense scene and then
ask someone to step an inch to the left and when they exasperatedly ask why I want him to look right down the
camera and say “so you don’t ruin my dramatic close up”.
I want him to reference his own comic books. Even just have them laying around wherever he’s
calling home.
I want him to make fun of Marvel.
I want movie Wade to have as little regard for the fourth
wall as comic book Wade.
Okay, so Darcy Lewis, right? She’s pretty much been comic relief this whole time. She’s the one who talks about boys, points out the obvious, and calls Mjolnir “myao-myao”.
But what if one day they’re in the heat of battle, and Thor is knocked out and Mjolnir is lying on the ground, and Darcy comes out of her hiding spot thinking she’s got nothing to lose and grabs the hammer and she ACTUALLY LIFTS IT.
And everyone is watching her like “OH MY GOD WHAT DON’T WE KNOW ABOUT YOU?” As Darcy saves the day, and eventually Thor wakes up and sees her with the hammer and gets this huge grin on his face like “FRIEND DARCY, YOU HAVE BECOME A FINE WARRIOR!”
