whispers in ur ear: ((clintnat was romantically canon in the avengers and scarlett wanted clintnat continued in aou pass it on))
(Source: mightytchalla, via adelindschade)
Do you want to know what’s a strange feeling? Having a platonic crush on someone. You go through all the same crap as with a romantic crush, trying to impress them, not wanting to seem over eager, wanting to talk to them all the time. The only difference is, instead of wanting to kiss them until they can’t breathe, you want to rent all of the movies with them and have a sleep over. It’s rather disconcerting.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
I just thought this set of tweets was really important.
(Source: storify.com, via thepainofthesass)
at what point in a friendship can u go from “hey whats up” to “do you think aliens know what capitalism is” as a conversation starter
(Source: asanoya, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
sure, I don’t get a “healthy” amount of sleep like SOME PEOPLE do but can they do THIS *stands up, blacks out for a second*
(via lathori)
i find the idea of platonic soul mates so fucking amazing, like imagine finding someone who you feel complete with but you don’t have to worry about losing them to messy romance because they’ll be your best friend forever instead
(via adelindschade)
I hate that I laughed at this
“Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there,” and another one appears. And dodges the downward sweep of claws, darting to the side, bouncing off the pentagram’s barriers, and tripping over the demon’s tail. “In the Vatican!” she cries out as she moves, using the State Farm Agent summoning charm to modify the situation as she was taught, and mentally thanking her trainer for expecting her to be fast enough to do it on the first incantation.
Most State Farm agents, when they run into trouble, have to get the customer to do the jingle a second time. That guy with the buffalo was lucky.
The magic takes hold, and she materializes in the aisle of St. Peter’s Basilica, still holding the demon by the tail, in the middle of Sunday morning Mass. The music clatters unprofessionally to a halt as laypeople, deacons, priests, monks, nuns, and the Pope all turn their attention to the surprised demon whose fifth course of dinner has turned, unaccountably, into a visit to one of his least favorite places on Earth.
There is chanting in Latin, and vaguely cross-shaped gestures, and clouds of incense, and the demon vanishes in a puff of smoke, whether from the efforts of the clergy or of his own volition no one can say. The Agent doesn’t wait, fleeing towards the doors and escaping in the confusion.
She gains the exit and walks, purposefully, toward Rome proper; there, she ducks into the nearest alley. A burner cell phone comes out of one of the less-used pockets of her purse, and she dials a number from memory.
“Allstate,” says a smooth masculine voice after three rings.
“State Farm,” she answers. “I’m calling in a favor.”
“Yeah?” Interest. “What sort?”
As she talks she’s pulling out her smartphone, keying an app that was activated by the summoning, and pulling up the policyholder data that enabled the incantation to work.
“Insurance fraud,” she said, and can almost hear teeth sharpening on the other end of the line. She gives him the name, the address, the policy number. “Someone needs some mayhem.”
“That’s my name,” the man says.
She smiles. “Someone needs all the mayhem.”
He chuckles. Slow. Evil. Even with the echoes of demonic laughter ringing in her ears, she’s impressed. “Don’t worry,” he says, almost purring.
“You’re in good hands.”
OH MY FUCKING GOD I just read insurance commercial fan fiction and it was so good, bless you, I’m going to remember this day forever.
Good Christ, what the holy hell did I just read? Whatever it was, can I have more?
(via adelindschade)
- friend: i am going to tell this incredibly painful headcanon about these two characters you really like and put you in an immense amount of pain
- me: just fuck me up
