*hears intro to Sugar We’re Going Down* … *runs into room* AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET *kicks wall* I’VE BEEN DYING TO TELL YOU ANYTHING *punches chair* YOU WANNA HEAR *throws table* COS THAT’S JUST WHO I AM THIS WEEK
me in 2005 and still me in 2014
(via awwhawkeye)
12 cups of coffee
11 mental breakdowns
10 fucking pages
9 hour deadline
8 cited sources
7 days to do it
6 days i wasted
FIVE TIMES THE PAIN
4 shots of vodka
3 days since I slept
2 words on my page
and a rubric that is not clear
(Source: cockblock-of-the-century, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
if u and ur best friend’s relationship isn’t constantly mistaken for a homoerotic love affair are u really friends
(via lathori)
For we will be wicked and we will be fair And they'll call us such names, and we really won't care, So go, tell your Wendys, your Susans, your Janes, There's a place they can go if they're tired of chains, And our roads may be golden, or broken, or lost, But we'll walk on them willingly, knowing the cost - We won't take our place on the shelves. It's better to fly and it's better to die Say the wicked girls saving ourselves.
- Seanan McGuire, Wicked GirlsWow.
(via clockwork-mockingbird)
1) Aziraphale and Crowley are the best thing ever. Az is an angel, Crowley is a fallen angel who didn’t so much fall as sauntered vaguely downward. They’ve been relegated to working on Earth by their respective bosses, and once you’ve spent 6000 years with no one else to talk to you kinda become bros. Or boyfriends (I ship them so hard). They get dinner, get drunk, get into trouble, and occasionally get smote together. They also have a list of offenses that the other has committed that they bring up ALL THE TIME and they’re basically fantastic. They try to stop the Antichrist from ending the world and the whole thing is really just them fucking up one thing after another. Crowley doesn’t like to really torture people and has snake eyes and Aziraphale covets his bookstore and refuses to sell the books and wears tartan. They are fabulous, you will love them, I guarantee it.
2) A+ tropes-of-the-eighties smashing, which created some of the modern tropes we know and love. Including Bikers of the Apocalypse (smokin’ hot lady War with a big-ass sword, Famine who writes diet books, Pollution who is only there because Pestilence quit and retired to Africa, and Death who is done with everyone’s shit and baffled by modernity), very confused locals, an eleven-year-old Antichrist with the best of intentions, demons who are incompetent at best, angels who are just sort of dicks supporting the Apocalypse, a witch named Anathema who doesn’t fuck around with magic when she can just use the knife she carries, a book of prophecies by Anathema’s ancestor that is about absurdly minute and incomprehensibly important stuff, and a witch hunting guild that gets absolutely fucking nothing done.
3) The Bentley. The Bentley and an excess of Queen. A classic car and a classic band and if you don’t love it you’re WRONG.
4) A hellhound named Dog.
5) A group of kids called the Them who avert the Apocalypse.
6) The only way to get maximum blooms out of your houseplants is threats.
7) The only acceptable explanation ever of Creationism. I swear to God, you will laugh your ass off. I am a hard-core proponent of evolution and I am telling you right now that this book has the only acceptable version of Creationism.
8) Aziraphale’s collection of misprinted Bibles, including one that tells the REAL story of the Angel of the Eastern Gate of Eden.
9) Neil Motherfucking Gaiman.
10) Terry Goddamn Pratchett.
11) Neil Motherfucking Gaiman and Terry Goddamn Pratchett writing a book about the Apocalypse together and creating some of the best lines in the history of the world (seriously, if someone walked up to me and asked if it hurt when I sauntered vaguely downward from Heaven, they would get a phone number and a date WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM).
12) If you are not laughing like a lunatic by the third page, you are probably a robot masquerading as a human.
OKAY I’VE SAID MY BIT AND IF THIS DOESN’T CONVINCE YOU I DON’T KNOW WHAT WILL. GO READ GOOD OMENS. DO IT NOW AND SPREAD THE GOSPEL WHERE EVER YOU GO.
War by alicexz
She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, but not up close.
And she held her sword, and she smiled like a knife.
- Good Omens
(via notahotlibrarian)
oh-please-dont-changeHow to properly pet animals by Adam Ellis
Hahaha Wolverine made me laugh so hard…..Maybe
(via bleedingwillow96)
Gonna cut a bitch and be kawaii while I do it
OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THOUGH
okay so these things are called “Jang-mi Kal” which is Korean for “Rose Knife”, exactly what it says on the tin
AND THEY WERE ADVERTISED AS BEING THE SHARPEST THING ON EARTH LIKE THERE IS NOTHING THESE BADASS MOTHERFUCKERS COULDN’T CUT
GIANT COW BONE? YOU BET
PADLOCKS? NO PROBLEM
STEEL PIPES? YEP
ITSELF???
HOLY SHIT
understandably, after these commercials aired, they took the korean internet by storm, and for a brief while jang-mi kal enjoyed ultimate meme status during which some glorious glorious parodies were made
they’re the strongest fucking weapon on earth
and that was your daily lesson on korean internet meme culture
I NEED THEM
(Source: genderdome, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
Sometimes I think of how one tiny mutated cell can wipe out our whole civilization, but then I watch a video like this and think “nah, we’re way too awesome of a species to be defeated.”
I feel like my life is complete after watching this.
HOLY SHITTING CHRIST.HOW DOES HE MANAGE TO KEEP SUCH A GOOD TONE QUALITY. WHAT THE SHIT. I CAN’T. JUST.
Seriously, as somebody who is relatively good at the flute let me tell you that that is really fucking difficult. REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT. That’s like the flautist’s equivalent of trying to talk normally whilst breathing in: it just isn’t doable. This guy is using some freaky fucking sorcery. As if that weren’t bad enough: HIS FINGERS ON THAT LAST BLOODY SCALE HOLY SHIT. HOW CAN YOU MOVE THAT FAST. I CAN’T EVEN DO F BLOODY MAJOR THAT FAST AND IT’S THE EASIEST BLOODY SCALE WE HAVE HOLY CHRIST.
The Pied Piper of Hamelin 2014
(Source: adrians, via clockwork-mockingbird)
My older cat got sick of my kitten trying to play with him so he pinned him down and licked him until he fell asleep
ohmygod
(via lathori)
Vodka Tia Moran
