Man history majors are so great because they know all this stuff but they have The One Subject and once you find out what a given history buff’s Subject is you will never be bored again because they will tell you all about it with the enthusiasm of a child on Christmas morning
This is also more widely applicable.
For example: my roommate is a linguistics major. Her One True Subject is conlangs, and she can (and has) talked for multiple hours without slowing down. She’s gonna make a language and we’re going to run around yelling at each other in it, it’ll be fun.
- dont take 3 hr classes that only meet once a week
- sleep
- when u write an essay pick out the quotes/examples u want and write the essay around it
- email ur teachers and meet with ur advisors regularly
- quizlet
- TRIPLE CHECK YOUR ALARMS
- bring tupperware to the dining hall to smuggle out extra food
- dont wear your lanyard around your neck
- try to group your classes together in back-to-back time blocks. you wont want to go back to class once you get home
- STAY ON TOP OF YOUR HOMEWORK EVEN IF THERE ARE OPEN DUE DATES
- when walking on the sidewalk keep all the way to the right especially if your pace is slow
- yes, sometimes we can hear the music through your earbuds. we really don’t care or mind
- try not to eat a whole bunch after 10PM, especially fatty foods like pizza or lots of pop. you’ll get stomach aches in the morning
- nerd clubs are 100% okay and there are tons of students who share your interests with you, you just have to look
- take out the fucking trash
- sometimes you gotta pick: homework or sleep. pick sleep if possible. you can get an extension on homework, getting enough sleep to catch up on serious deprivation is nearly impossible.
- learn which teachers will back you up, then use this knowledge ruthlessly.
- learn which teachers give extensions, then use this knowledge ruthlessly.
- learn who, in every class you’re having trouble with, is both doing well and not a dick. learn to ask for help.
Adding “as you do” after describing something that nobody does.
“So he went to hell to pick up his dead wife’s soul, as you do.”
“So she climbed up the tower with her robot hands, as you do.”
one time in an actual conversation I said something along the lines of “I made a flamethrower with a lighter and a can of compressed air, as you do” and the guy I was talking to was like “…no? I don’t???”
Oh God, I say this all the time, and when I started my junior year of college I was talking to someone in my Organic Chemistry class and I said “So I switched my major to pre-med at the end of my sophomore year and I’m gonna do it in two years rather than four, as you do,” and his jaw just dropped and he went “I absolutely do NOT.”
I feel like every major has a “mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” like a sentence or piece of info you hear over and over and is embedded in your brain. im curious so tag this w your major/field of study and what that thing is
So I wrote a short story that I’ve been posting on here bit by bit (I WILL POST THE NEXT SECTION, I SWEAR TO GOD) and I happened to have written it for a class and I brought it in to be critiqued and I just. I can die happy, because I straight-up witnessed a room full of Very Serious Critical Authors (yes I am a little derisive of my Very Pompous College Peers) get into a violent ship war. It escalated to shouting, the teacher looked horrified, and at least two people had brought in copies of the story annotated to support their ship–and these two came in armed and loaded for bear. Or heteronormativity, but same difference.
And so after class I came back to my dorm room and burst through the door and announced to my roommate:
“I have thrown the golden apple of ambiguous lesbianism among the masses and war has broken out.”
And honestly I’ve never been so proud of a sentence that ever came out of my mouth.
So my time is running down to bitch about this writing class (I CAN SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, THE END OF THE YEAR IS SO CLOSE, GOD, I CAN PRACTICALLY TASTE FREEDOM) and I need to get some stuff off my chest here. An open letter to my class under the cut for ranting and cursing and general miscellaneous bullshit.
The other night, I told this story to my sister, who had somehow never heard it before. She demanded that I write it down. (I sincerely hope she’s not planning to use this as some kind of college life advice for my nephew.)
There are three things you need to know to understand this story, provided you are not my sister:
I started college at 15.
I almost immediately got mono and didn’t realize it, assuming that I was sleeping 16 hours a day because sleep was the best thing in the world and I’d suddenly gotten really good at it.
I made most of my bad decisions – like, most of the bad decisions I would ever make, and almost all the ones I could think of – before starting college.
These were not things I had in common with my freshman cohort. Any of them, as far as I could tell. They were all older than I was, they seemed to have all the energy in the world, and they had come to college to make those bad decisions they’d been dreaming of all these years but apparently couldn’t quite commit to until they were away from parental backup and support.
