words-writ-in-starlight asked: For the Softer World prompts, either 31 for Anakin or 34 for Anakin/Padme?

skymurdock:

for this AU. also, the long-awaited appearance of Padmé Amidala!

34: When you’re around I don’t know how to hide my feelings. I count in binary, in my head. zero one one zero one one and you count clouds (while you count clouds)

title: and you count clouds

Say there are over seven billion people in the world, at this moment. Say that there are three hundred twenty five million people in the United States of America alone, and that there are eight million people in New York City alone, all minding their own business, not counting the ones only passing by.

Now say there’s a woman out there, with warm brown eyes and a smile like the sun. Her hair’s pinned back, her touch is light, and her breath comes easy and tickles against tanned skin.

Now say she still loves him.

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yol-ande:

I adore one of tropes going around in Star Wars fandom: Obi-Wan knows about Anakin and Padme’s relationship, takes it upon himself to stage a diversion, and because of that he systematically entertains other Councilors with fancy dinners and conversations, lest they could start to search for Anakin.

However, behavior like that is a very direct political statement. Because, while Obi-Wan certainly doesn’t think about it in those terms and probably doesn’t even realize he’s doing it (a terrible misstep for a trained negotiator), he cultivates his contacts, courts his potential political cloud, and gathers allies.

For the outsider, it looks like he’s gunning for higher position.

So, I would really like to read something where Obi-Wan ends up as the Master of the Order by accidentally launching a successful political campaign, surprising absolutely no-one except for him and probably Anakin.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

skymurdock asked: whispers 17, either Alex/Eliza or Anakin/Padmé.

17: I know your weakness.  It’s kisses.  You are doomed. (Don’t worry.  We’re all doomed eventually.)

How the galaxy fell to the Dark Side, one kiss at a time.  Or, an overview of the Sith Padmé AU.

“Oh,” Padmé says in surprise as the Force goes yesss in the back of her mind at the sight of a young boy with hair like sunshine and a presence like the sun itself.  Her Jedi protectors are easily as arrested by the boy’s presence, but she suspects for rather different reasons.  His power is spectacular, certainly, but there’s more—a sharp click as of a lock, and something in her core says that is mine.  

The boy’s head snaps up and his eyes meet hers and she hears, clear as day, his voice, as it says, An angel.  

When she meets him properly, Anakin with his sky-blue eyes and child’s voice, she offers her hand to shake.  Instead, he takes it, reverent, and kisses her knuckles.

“I’m going to marry you, someday,” he tells her solemnly, still holding her hand, and she smiles.

“I know.”

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tmwrighting:

mirandatam:

ialreadyreadthatfanfic:

jerseydevious:

you know, if palpatine ever showed vader the death star schematics, wouldn’t vader - being a mechanical genius - have been able to pick out the flaw with the reactor shaft?

imagine palpatine launching an evil monologue while vader stares at this gigantic flaw, sweating

#you know i get the feeling vader really wanted the death star to get blown to smithereens (via @jerseydevious)

well, i got the same feeling. imagine vader just standing there, not listening anymore, only staring right at this super. obiovious. (to him) USELESS FUCKING FLAW and just not saying anything. maybe he should say something. sheev’s probably testing him or something. 

but as emperor’s monologue drags on, the fact that no one here, besides vader, is aware of the issue is becoming more evident. 

darth “everything proceeds as i’ve foreseen” sidious didn’t notice it. he’s staring right at the reactor shaft. he’s not seeing it. so vader keeps mum.

then rebels steal the plans and send a couple of x-wings against the friggin’ death star. as far as tarkin’s concerned, it’s like sending a couple of flies to stop an avalanche. and our man vader in that moment is like, “welp, i suddenly discovered my new calling as a flyswatter,” and gets the fuck out of that station

@fialleril

“Is… Is no one else seeing this? Someone on the design committee must have seen this. Tell me you’re all seeing this.”

“Seeing what, Lord Vader?”

“The huge obvious…”

You know what? Screw these guys. I told them this budget-killing monstrosity was a bad idea.

“Obvious lack of any place to get a decent coffee. This thing is the size of a small moon. Would it kill you to call Starbucks and tell them to open up a location in it? I hate Imperial-issue coffee.”

“We’ll get right on that, sir.”

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

roachpatrol:
“ ghostymcspooky:
“ soloontherocks:
“ notanotherreyloblog:
“ thebaconsandwichofregret:
“ azumariko:
“ he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser
”
Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his...

roachpatrol:

ghostymcspooky:

soloontherocks:

notanotherreyloblog:

thebaconsandwichofregret:

azumariko:

he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser

Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name.

I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid

the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again

I’d like to remind everyone again that it’s literally canon that Vader can’t step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down

aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere

i  d o n t  l i k e  s a n d

okay but what if everyone was like ‘vader, kenobi’s on tattooine. he’s obviously on tattooine. he’s been there for years. he’s just right fucking there, we all know it.’ and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like they’re magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like ‘no i don’t like that try again’. 

kenobi’s just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesn’t need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say ‘COME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SAND’ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate.

palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino

‘he’s on tattooine,’ palpatine says. 

‘nuh uh,’ vader says, and peers under a couch.

(via windbladess)

reyskyvalker:

“You’re afraid… that you will never be as strong as DARTH VADER.”

(via slyrider)

spookphantom asked: Crack AU where Anakin can all of a sudden hear the background music that we all hear. Those pleasant chats with Palpy become a lot more ominous. Though Anakin admits that the fights have become a lot more epic. Thoughts?

forcearama:

ialreadyreadthatfanfic:

angelqueen04:

forcearama:

angelqueen04:

goddessofroyalty:

Hahahahaha. Love it!

And okay, my first though was “and the galaxy was saved because even Anakin Skywalker would struggle to keep trusting Palpatine with that music playing in the background”

Anakin think he’s gone COMPLETELY insane (maybe he’s finally been electrocuted too many times and its fried his brain). He doesn’t tell anyone though because he can still fight just fine just… everything is a lot more musical. He doesn’t want to be thought crazy and taken off the front lines.

Once he figures out what the various musical cues mean he actually finds them useful in figuring out how dangerous a situation is. Also battles are so much cooler now and boring landscapes are slightly less boring because at least now they have mood music. Yep, he can live with this.

(Although he is always confused why the ominousness that is The Imperial March starts playing at some of his decisions)

*cracks up*

Anakin: I’m so worried about something. I should probably keep my feelings to myself and attempt to solve my problems by working with Palpatine. He seems like he has my best interests at heart.

MusicDUN DUN DUN, DUN DA-DUN, DUN DA-DUN!

Anakin: [pauses] [looks around] Uh…OK. I mean, I’ll…go talk to Obi-Wan?

Music: [hopeful woodwind instruments]

Anakin: …and be open and honest about my life and what is bothering me, and try to work out a non-violent resolution to my problems?

Music: [Force Theme plays]

Anakin: [smiles] All right! Huh. This is helpful. 

Positive reinforcement at its finest. ;D

#lol#i’m just imagining the force throwing its metaphysical hands in the air like ‘subtlety obviously isn’t working with this one so have a whole#symphony of hints young reckless one’ (via @likealeafonthewind)

I’m crying from laughter, this is beautiful.

Anakin: *fucks up*

The Force: Son, please… Guess I’m gonna enable the hints menu.

THE HINTS MENU. *dies* 

Maybe Obi-Wan hears the music, too, and then the day is saved. 

Obi-Wan: [walking away] Welp, guess it’s off to kill Grievous I’m sure Anakin will be fi – 

Music: [Duel of the Fates] 

Obi-Wan: OMG not this shit again [runs back down the hall towards Anakin]

Anakin: [running back towards Obi-Wan] Obi-Wan I just heard that Ominous Music again and also I secretly married Padme and she’s pregnant and I haven’t slept in 6 days and I keep thinking she’s going to die and I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT and if you leave I will 100% end up killing everyone and –

Obi-Wan: – oh my God! OK…it’s OK, I heard my own ominous music a second ago when I was getting ready to leave and so I won’t and we’ll fix th – 

Anakin: – I heard mine when I thought about maybe talking to the Chancellor instead of y–

Palpatine: [sidling up behind them smugly] Everything all right, gentlemen?

Music: [scary ass music from the opera scene] 

Anakin and Obi-Wan: AHHHH

spookphantom asked: Crack AU where Anakin can all of a sudden hear the background music that we all hear. Those pleasant chats with Palpy become a lot more ominous. Though Anakin admits that the fights have become a lot more epic. Thoughts?

forcearama:

angelqueen04:

goddessofroyalty:

Hahahahaha. Love it!

And okay, my first though was “and the galaxy was saved because even Anakin Skywalker would struggle to keep trusting Palpatine with that music playing in the background”

Anakin think he’s gone COMPLETELY insane (maybe he’s finally been electrocuted too many times and its fried his brain). He doesn’t tell anyone though because he can still fight just fine just… everything is a lot more musical. He doesn’t want to be thought crazy and taken off the front lines.

Once he figures out what the various musical cues mean he actually finds them useful in figuring out how dangerous a situation is. Also battles are so much cooler now and boring landscapes are slightly less boring because at least now they have mood music. Yep, he can live with this.

(Although he is always confused why the ominousness that is The Imperial March starts playing at some of his decisions)

*cracks up*

Anakin: I’m so worried about something. I should probably keep my feelings to myself and attempt to solve my problems by working with Palpatine. He seems like he has my best interests at heart.

MusicDUN DUN DUN, DUN DA-DUN, DUN DA-DUN!

Anakin: [pauses] [looks around] Uh…OK. I mean, I’ll…go talk to Obi-Wan?

Music: [hopeful woodwind instruments]

Anakin: …and be open and honest about my life and what is bothering me, and try to work out a non-violent resolution to my problems?

Music: [Force Theme plays]

Anakin: [smiles] All right! Huh. This is helpful. 

mk-otro:

Sorry NOT sorry for a dumb ‘WHAT IF’ scenario entitled “The Entire Battalion Knew, Sir.”

BONUS PANELS UNDER CUT:

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(via skymurdock)

recklessprudence asked: "Wait, there has to be a trap here." "But I don't see anything." *"Exactly."*

skymurdock:

for @words-writ-in-starlight: the Star Wars D&D AU. bc nothing makes me feel better than taking the piss out of Anakin in a tabletop game setting.


Ahsoka kicks her feet up on the table, leaning back in her chair. “I pick the lock,” she says, confident.

Padmé looks up from her sheets and says, “Okay, roll for it.”

She rolls, then nearly falls off her chair when she pumps her fist into the air and shouts, “Natural twenty!”

“Aw, come on,” says Anakin, glaring at the dice as if they’ve personally offended him. “You roll twenties for Ahsoka and not for me? I own you, you fuckers.”

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