Anonymous asked: I know you don't want more AUs, but how would PADME unfuck the timeline? I imagine a lot more efficiently and lot more scarily than all the Jedis put together...
Fourteen year-old Padmé Naberrie sews a FUCKTON of Hutt-money into the lining of Sabé’s robe before they escape the blockade, buys Shmi and Anakin and lifts Watto up three tax brackets, FREES Shmi and Anakin, and then “accidentally” handcuffs Qui-Gon to Obi-Wan before the big final battle with Darth Maul. Oh, and DEFINITELY does not suggest any vote of no-confidence at ANY point.
“Skywalker is too old to be trained,” someone on the Council starts to re-insist after all the fuss is over, and Qui-Gon is just about to snap back at them when–
“DIBS,” Padmé yells, bursting into the Council room past helpless Jedi guards who could not have stopped her if she’d been handcuffed and blindfolded, not for any-damn-thing. “FUCKING DIBS HE’S MINE NOW MY CITIZEN WELCOME TO NABOO ANI HERE IS A LIST OF BUSINESSES THAT WOULD BE DELIGHTED TO HAVE YOUR MOTHER WORK FOR THEM AND A LIST OF SCHOOLS THAT WILL GIVE YOU A FULL RIDE ALSO LET’S HAVE TEA ONCE A MONTH AND I WILL FIND YOU THE GRAYEST GRAY-ASS JEDI TO TEACH YOU ANY DAMN THING YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE FORCE ON THE SIDE. THEY’RE STILL A KIND OF JEDI SO IT STILL COUNTS. HOW DOES THAT SOUND DOES THAT SOUND GOOD? GREAT.”
Meanwhile, the handmaidens are busy planning a Supreme assassination. They did not require an explanation; obviously the queen knows what she’s doing. Maybe she’ll be Supreme Chancellor next?
GO HARD OR GO TO THE HELL-TIMELINE, KIDS.
Frankly this is my favorite time-travel AU.
