littlestartopaz:
bogleech:
vanishedschism:
pristinely-ungifted:
loveinthemindpalace:
bogleech:
the-emileighain-mountains:
railroadsoftware:
sonypraystation:
railroadsoftware:
did anyone actually ever read those animorph books
just stared at the covers for a concerningly long amount of time before putting it back where i found it
me too
Same
Here are some of the spoilers you missed out on by not reading Animorphs:
- Five children are forced to engage in guerilla warfare, espionage and repeated murder to protect their loved ones from alien parasites as they wait for the other, heroic aliens to finally arrive. When they do, the “good” aliens turn out to not give a shit about humans, caused the whole intergalactic war through their own shittiness and are willing to exterminate whole planets themselves to get at their hated enemies.
- A child repeatedly experiences his intestines hanging out of his body while in various animal forms
- A child is mentally tortured until broken and never gets better
- A child in the form of a fly experiences getting splattered and smeared against a ceiling until his friends who are also flies at the time can peel his body off and take him somewhere he can transform back into a whole human before his insect mind fades completely
- A child is shrunken and experiences having her eyeballs digested out of her head inside her friend’s stomach while she’s in the form of a tiny elephant
- The heroes are forced to permanently imprison another child in the body of a rat because he knows too much and they abandon him on a tiny island with only other rats and garbage for company. Rumors circulate that the island is haunted but it’s actually his psychic screams reaching distant boaters.
- A race of devastatingly powerful, violent aliens turn out to be mental toddlers who don’t know what they’re doing and are just bred to think they’re playing one big game before they’re killed at age three so they don’t learn the truth
- An alien spends a few centuries hanging from the parasitic tentacle of a much bigger alien, surrounded by millions of rotting corpses attached to its other moon-spanning tendrils. They engage in mental warfare until one finally absorbs the other completely.
- It turns out another seemingly “evil” alien race is simply driven to kill and eat everything in sight because it was separated from its original world where food was continuous and the entire specie’s life is the torture of perpetual starvation
- A peaceful robot willingly removes its inhibition against violence to help in the war, only to slaughter a huge number of alien-controlled humans so gruesomely that nobody dares think about or speak of it again and it is the only thing left undescribed in a book series that already describes entrails getting torn out and skulls getting smashed
- A child stays too long in the form of a flea and instead of turning back into a human, accidentally turns momentarily into one big, giant flea that can only writhe and moan because it shouldn’t exist and can’t live at that scale.
- The kids discover Atlantis, then discover that Atlanteans are inbred mutants who paralyze any humans they find, dissect them alive to figure out how their organs work, then stuff the corpses as kitschy museum displays for their children.
- An ordinary ant gets transformed into a human child. It has no idea what’s happening and is so overwhelmed by its huge new brain and sensory input that it can only scream until it dies
What. The. Fuck
From someone who recently read/finished this series, NONE OF THE ABOVE IS AN EXAGGERATION.
Also you can get all the PDFs here
Everybody read some animorphs you know you wanna it’s right there
Go ahead and start on book one you’ll already get some juicy terror
Let’s not forget 5 of them are almost eaten alive by ants. For one of them, this happens twice though she doesn’t remember, because it happened in a weird aborted time line where they all die.
I would like to add that I am taking notes this time around and I discovered that the very first murder of a named character (it’s rather grisly, he gets eaten alive and his scraps snatched up by the above eternally-starving aliens, while the protagonists try not to get caught and murdered a handful of feet away) occurs less than 40 pages into the first book. Also, the first dismemberment happens less than four books in.
*fond sigh* These books were my childhood, guys.
(via littlestartopaz)
wandringaesthetic asked: About the Animorphs only being able to save one person in the first book and you feeling relieved about that: I was, for a good year or so, 98% sure the books were Real and trying to figure our where the local Yeerk pools were. I think the fact that the Animorphs so often lose and/or barely escape with their lives in the first few books (they don't have a real VICTORY until book 7) are what cemented it for me. It felt so much more honest than any fiction I'd been exposed to before that.
Oh my God YES. They…they basically don’t win for six books, and I had never seen that kind of track record in any books, let alone kids’ books. I mean, they get Ax out before the Yeerks can get to him, but even that…the only reason they survive that encounter is because the whales come and save them from being eaten by Visser Three, it is A VERY CLOSE CALL is my point here. And like, that’s upsetting, sure, yeah, very upsetting, the fate of the world is at stake and these THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLDS keep losing fights, but just…someone who was prepared to admit, straight-up, in a kids’ book that sometimes you lose and that’s just how it is? I was fucking blown away.
I am an adult, I cannot be flailing in a public ice cream store about these books, I have work to do.
That being said, NEVER HESITATE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT ANIMORPHS.
So turns out we’re doing a post for every single book. Literally why am I like this. Posts will be going here, feel free to block the tag. Spoilers, yadda, yadda.
Book 2: The Visitor
AKA “We get some seriously grim insight
on voluntary Controllers, the first bug morph, and probably the reason I hate
shrews”
Keep reading
Listen to me, kiddies. I read these books for the first time when I was SEVEN. (Well, it took me about three years to collect most of them and get to the end, so I read the first half of the series about twelve times by the time I was ten or eleven.) And let me tell you a thing: if you have passed these books up because of the ridiculous covers or because they’re ‘kids’ books’ you need to reevaluate your life. Immediately.
ANYWAY, I found them all for free on the internet (GET THEM HERE) and I’m rereading them/reading them out loud to Adler, because we are actually DISGUSTINGLY domestic. And I was originally planning to comment on them like five at a time, because otherwise I’d have way too many posts, but I wrote like a solid page of things down about the first book alone, so….yeah. I guess books-per-post will be flexible based on how much I say about the book in question. Here be spoilers, obviously. If you don’t want to hear about it, please feel free to block my Animorphs tag, I won’t be offended.
Book 1: The Invasion
AKA “The first named character is
murdered, a main character is trapped as a bird, and five kids sign up for a
lifetime of PTSD”
Keep reading
"Cassie, everyone here has problems. Ax is the only member of his species within a trillion miles who’s not a Controller; you’re a pacifist who spends half her time battling aliens; Jake is just a dumb jock trying to play General Eisenhower; Rachel is about three millimeters away from morphing permanently into the Terminator; and, oh, by the way, Tobias is a bird who lives in a tree and eats mice for breakfast."
— Marco, summing up pretty much the entire series
(via thejakeformerlyknownasprince)
(via aximili)
samdoesfunstuff:
(originally posted here)
Dear (circle one) Ax Marco Tobias Cassie:
I know that you are trying to be extra brave today because (circle all that apply)
A) You fucked up the last mission
B) You are attempting to live up to Andalite cultural standards of masculinity
C) You are attempting to live up to Human cultural standards of masculinity
D) You are trying to (circle one) revenge/save/impress ______
E) You have a personal vendetta against _____
I would just like you to know that (circle all that apply)
A) You’re right, you did fuck up pretty badly in a way that I never could have anticipated
B) You actually saved all of our butts even if you don’t realize it (see back of page explanation)
C) No matter how hard you try, you will never be as good as you think your brother was
D) You are too close to this
E) You are still very special to me
Because of that, in regards to the special mission you have asked to be a part of in order to redeem yourself, I would like to (circle one)
A) Give you my blessing
B) Ask you not to get yourself killed
C) Ask you not to get all of us killed
D) Politely ask you not to go, which we both know you will probably disregard
E) Tell you no way in hell, if you go I will personally rip you a new asshole
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely
(circle one) Jake Prince Jake
Dear Rachel:
I would just like to take the time to tell you (circle all that apply):
A) Gold star for being brave for everyone else’s benefit today when you were actually scared
B) Thanks for saving my butt
C) Thanks for saving the butt of (circle all that apply) Tobias Ax Cassie Marco
D) I have a special mission/some dirty work for you (see back of page)
E) You are out of control and you scare the pee out of me sometimes
Thank you.
Love,
Cousin Jake
(Source: friendshiptothemax, via mildlyautisticsuperdetective)
"You were brave. You were strong. You were good.
You mattered."
— Animorphs, The Beginning (via chromatographic)
(via chromatographic)
