Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

Anonymous asked: for the fanfic ask game, how about H, R, and S?

Woo, people are doing the thing!  From this post.

H: How would you describe your style?

Too many fucking commas.  

Seriously, though, I’m not sure how I’d describe my style, since I tend to vary it depending on how I want the story to feel.  Something like things we lost in the fire, my Les Mis Avatar AU, is supposed to feel very different from, like, this, my First Order Rey AU.  I guess my style is very character-driven–I perceive my characters (and other people’s characters, in fic) as very real people, so I try to model the feeling of the story after the way the POV character thinks.  Which is how I end up with things like the Hamilton Star Wars AU, which has A LOT of commas and run-on sentences because…Alexander Hamilton.

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) who you consider an influence?

Oh buddy.  Oh buddy buckle up.  First and biggest nod goes to Robin McKinley (GO READ HER STUFF IMMEDIATELY), who I aspire to be when I grow up.  Robin McKinley taught a very scared and very lonely kid who had just been told that she was too old for playing pretend that there was still magic in the world, and I’m always going to owe a massive debt to her for that.  If this was a ‘pick one’ sort of question, it would be her.  JK Rowling, obligatory honorable mention, Lions for the Cup.  PC Hodgell, who is better at sweeping world-building and not-cliche battles between Good and Evil than anyone I can think of off the top of my head (see my rant about her tragically unknown series here).  Neil Gaiman, who balances the creepy with the daily with the mystical in a way I desperately envy.  The innumerable mediocre authors I trucked through in my school libraries, who taught me what NOT to do, which is just as important as what to do.  For fic authors… @notbecauseofvictories, because her Tumblr fics showed me that it was okay to be messy and wild and just…happy about what I was writing at a time where I kind of needed it.  @determamfidd because Sansukh was, like, fucking life-changing, buddy, I am living a post-Sansukh life right now.  The author of the first fic I ever read (no idea who it was, but it was a Buffy fic with a rewrite of Season 3, and I was PRETTY CONCUSSED at the time, so the fact that I even remember the plot should earn me brownie points, it was a great fic and I should find it again).  Um…I can think of maybe twenty more people, published and otherwise, off the top of my head, but I think this massive block of text is long enough, yes?

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Um…many.  I’m a sucker for soulmate AU’s, I really am.  I am also pathetically weak for mutual pining, particularly the whole “X person will never love me back and it’s okay I’ll just sit here and quietly pine away because I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY” thing.  It’s probably a good part of the reason I like Enjolras/Grantaire so much, the Enjolras/Grantaire tag on AO3 is here for you and all your pining needs.  Those are probably the two biggest ones, although I’m also weak for size difference because I’m FIVE GODDAMN FEET TALL and everyone I could hypothetically date is a fucking giant.

Anonymous asked: So, about this Hamilton Star Wars AU: I have noticed an unacceptable lack of Hamilton/Laurens headcanons and feelings and urge you to inflict these on us at your earliest convenience.

Oh, sorry, friend, it looks like you’ve got a typo, I think you meant hey, Moran, inflict your thoughts on Space Monmouth on us, seeing as Laurens almost died there. 

• Washington, by this point, has been SOUNDLY outed as a Bad Code-Breaking Jedi (with a wife, the Council would like to reiterate).  So the Congress governing the Continental systems decided that they needed to save face a little and made Washington promote Master Lee to the rank of Major General, because his record as a Jedi is impeccable.
  
• Um, naturally, way back when they first meet, Lee takes one look at Washington’s padawan and launches into a truly epic lecture about the dangers and crimes of attachment.  Laurens poker-faces through the whole thing and Hamilton instantly and deeply loathes Lee, because Laurens starts to retreat again.  It’s taken him months to coax Laurens into kissing him, into letting him slip into his bunk and nestle into him sleepily.  Laurens has even started being the one to initiate, tugging Hamilton down by the hand and wrapping long arms around him, pressing skin to skin.  That changes with Lee standing around, looking judgemental.
• That’s okay, though, because Laurens deeply and sincerely loathes Lee for the dispassionate report that Hamilton died at Schuylkill.  Everyone hates Lee, basically.
• Lee actually turns down the command at first because he’s offended at how small it is, never mind that the Continental army is desperately strapped for men and fighters alike.  Washington has the best deadpan in the business, which is the only reason that Lee doesn’t know how relieved he is to hand the command over to Lafayette.
• Of course, then Lee comes back and says he’s going to take command after all, and attack the Empire troops as they leave the desert moon Monmouth, where they spent their own winter.  Washington still holds up that deadpan, because the only other option is to rest his head on the table and swear like a smuggler.
• So they go to battle, Laurens and Hamilton among the fighters Lee leads down into the atmosphere.  The heat from low-atmo combat is so awful a few ships–Continental and Imperial alike–malfunction on the spot and go down in flaming wreckage, all hands dead.
• Here’s the thing.  There’s a trend across Laurens and Hamilton’s experience in battle.  
• At Brandywine, Laurens almost died, after taking a blaster shot to the shoulder.
• Schuylkill was Schuylkill.
• On the Island, Hamilton broke onto an Imperial ship and stole twenty-one out of twenty-four top-of-the-line fighters, while ignoring heavy strafing fire from a battlecruiser.  Hercules, who was there, swears up and down that it gave him grey hair.
• Innumerable other skirmishes have proved that, given the opening, they’re more likely to risk their necks than preserve them.
• They should be used to it, is the thing.  And Laurens might be, if he does say so himself, because Hamilton can find a near-lethal fight with any civilian on the street.  Hamilton, on the other hand, is not, and when Laurens is shot out of the sky, he doesn’t even try to find the other man’s Force signature before he panics.
• Lee is a coward at heart.  He’s not prepared to face the brutal heat, nor the desperation of the Imperial troops, nor the explosion of a Force-hurricane at the combat line.  He runs, and when he runs, the ragged Continental line shatters.
• And then the General’s personal fighter, the Vernon, comes screaming in from the edge of the atmosphere with Lafayette’s Marquis on his wing and the hurricane of Hamilton’s power still roaring so that even the soldiers with less Force-sense than a potato can feel it, and the Continentalists rally with a vengeance.  It’s not a win, but they’ve proved they can hold their line.
• Laurens is pulled out of his wreckage, almost completely uninjured and drenched in Hamilton’s Force signature.  Laurens doesn’t know what happened, and Hamilton isn’t talking.  
• Lee starts talking shit, because Lee is terrible.
• Washington takes a minute, thinks about it, and immediately issues an order that Hamilton have nothing to do with Lee, because Hamilton is on the warpath about Laurens’ latest brush with death.
• Unfortunately, he fails to get ahead of Laurens himself, who is finally reaching his breaking point.  And who would probably jump off a space deck without a suit if Hamilton wanted him to.
• LIGHTSABER DUELS.  HAMILTON DOES NOT LIKE THEM.
• No, seriously, Jedi, Hamilton wants to know why you don’t use blasters like sane people.  He really does.  Using blasters and the Force together is both convenient and fun.  And ranged.  Get on his level.  
• Hamilton almost has a heart attack when he hears someone scream on the dueling ground, and the organ only resumes normal function when Laurens flicks off his lightsaber and lets Lee drop to the ground, a long cauterized wound to the ex-general’s ribs still smoking.
• Laurens is in trouble (Washington would like to be on record that he’s been encouraging attachment, not rampant violence, and he’s very disappointed), but Hamilton…oh, Hamilton is really in trouble.  Because Laurens can call it acting impulsively and ‘a learning experience,’ but Hamilton disobeyed a direct order.
• Washington doesn’t say “I’d send you home but this ship is the only one you have,” but it’s a near thing, and Hamilton looks crushed nonetheless.  It’s a bad day for everyone.
• Instead of being sent ‘home,’ Hamilton is sent away from the front lines (away from John, a greedy part of his mind mutters, and holocalls are so interceptible, they won’t even be able to see each other, letters only), to serve as a liaison and bodyguard for their best supply ship.
• The Revelation picks up its new passenger on its next pass.  At least he’s old friends with the sisters, Hamilton thinks glumly as he lets Eliza crush him in a hug and ruffles his hand through Peggy’s hair to make her squawk in offence and call for Angelica.
• Still.
• The girls aren’t Laurens.

Anonymous asked: I can't help but feel that we are falling inline with themes played in V for Vendetta. Your thoughts? World events seem too coincidental, but there is no such thing as coincidence.

twistedangelsays:

words-writ-in-starlight:

This is…a weirdly heavy question to just….get in Ye Olde Inbox, but okay, sure, we can talk V for Vendetta, I ain’t got shit to do.

Okay, to appreciate that I’m not just being a bitch here, you need to know that I’m not being funny when I call myself a cynic.  I’m pretty serious about that, I consistently expect people to act selfishly and be generally unhelpful until/unless I know them pretty fucking well.  @twistedangelsays (yoooo babe, back me up here) can confirm that my usual response to being told to depend on someone for help is to blink blankly and ask “but what would be in it for them to help me with this.”  (Her usual response is “they’re your teacher, they’re literally getting paid for this,” but I’d like to kindly remind her that teachers at colleges get paid regardless.)  The way I’ve described it several times in my tags is that I’m in love with humanity, and they don’t love me back, so I have a very peculiar view that’s half “God let’s just talk about the Voyager probe and random acts of kindness and the fact that we domesticated our primary predator” and half “I am genuinely not even surprised when people suck, and haven’t been in…forever, maybe.”  It’s a very capital-R Romantic viewpoint, think Grantaire from Les Mis, I am Grantaire and Grantaire is me.

That being said, here are my current thoughts on the V for Vendetta thing.

1. V for Vendetta, or any other dystopian story on the lines of 1984 or Brave New World, presumes a level of competence on the collective scale that I just haven’t seen in the American government (I’m American, we currently have Clinton and a racist Cheeto duking it out for president, I’m usually better about being aware of the wider world but I am Very Concerned about the election, so the only thing that I really took note of was Brexit, I’m sorry, this is gonna be pretty US-centric.)  Individually, I’m confident that many–um, some of our politicians and administrators are perfectly functional human beings with a high degree of competency, but I have yet to see that brought to the table in any sort of concerted effort.  I remember a lot of government criticism way back when the Occupy movement was a thing revolving around “Well, they don’t have a goal” and that’s valid, I made that remark myself, but also…like, fucking hark who’s talking, Washington DC, what have you done with your life lately.  So that’s the main thing, is that our government flat-out isn’t cohesive enough to execute a functional dystopia, we’re too much of a chaotic mess.
   
2. That being said, I don’t know how much that’s a positive thing.  I mean, the lack of a genuine totalitarian regime (and conversations about whether or not America trends toward dystopianism can please delayed to a later date) is obviously a good thing, but the entropic decline toward chaos we’re witnessing in the clash between the rising generation of (largely) liberal mindset and the people in power, who are by and large interested in maintaining the status quo…that’s going to be REAL messy when it starts to break down.  I mean, shit, it’s already breaking down, look around, read the news, and then maybe drink, ‘cause shit’s depressing.  Who needs totalitarianism when you have what-the-fuck-ever this is.
3. This is more general, but I’m of the opinion that people are neither fundamentally good nor bad, but rather fundamentally people (that’s a bastardized Good Omens quote, it makes some EXTREMELY good philosophical points between the demonic/angelic antics and Four Bikers of the Apocalypse).  As mentioned above, this means I assume a level of selfish behavior, particularly from those already in a position of power–power and wealth beget nothing so much as the desire to maintain one’s power and wealth.  In addition, that translates to a fairly telescopic view on the world, in which one’s immediate loved ones (possibly including self) generally take absolute precedence over the abstracted ‘they.’  Soooo that translates into “the human capacity for precipitating disaster is boundless,” in Moran-speak.

Anyway.  TL;DR: I don’t think much of people’s inherent capacity to be functional enough to run a V for Vendetta style dystopian system (this is also where a lot of conspiracy theories break down for me), but hey.  I’m sure they’ll impress me with their skill at fucking everything up anyway.  Let me take this opportunity to remind my American followers to vote against Trump, I don’t give a damn what you think of Clinton.

And if a revolution starts, I can shoot a gun and have medical qualifications in addition to a good tactical brain, fucking point me at the recruitment office.

I hereby confirm that @words-writ-in-starlight is my darling cynical wife. That’s why we make such a good pair: every idealist needs a cynic to bring them down to earth.

Also, unsurprisingly, I concur. I would not call America totalitarian or dystopian, though there are definitely aspects of those fictional societies reflected in our own (And it would get a lot more totalitarian if Donald Trump got his way and was elected).

I think the key is that it doesn’t have to be be full on dystopian to be oppressive and terrifying. There is corruption, there is discrimination. America is doing abysmally on issues in almost every area of policy. Problems abound. Change needs to happen, whether it happens systematically with politicians moving in the right direction (unlikely) or whether the people rise and force the issue (and my inner Enjolras is displayed for the world to see).

“Do you hear the people sing?” And all that jazz. So there you go: cynical nature of my dear wife confirmed and a slight tangent with an idealist’s spin no one asked for. You satisfied, Hamilton?

Anonymous asked: I can't help but feel that we are falling inline with themes played in V for Vendetta. Your thoughts? World events seem too coincidental, but there is no such thing as coincidence.

This is…a weirdly heavy question to just….get in Ye Olde Inbox, but okay, sure, we can talk V for Vendetta, I ain’t got shit to do.

Okay, to appreciate that I’m not just being a bitch here, you need to know that I’m not being funny when I call myself a cynic.  I’m pretty serious about that, I consistently expect people to act selfishly and be generally unhelpful until/unless I know them pretty fucking well.  @twistedangelsays (yoooo babe, back me up here) can confirm that my usual response to being told to depend on someone for help is to blink blankly and ask “but what would be in it for them to help me with this.”  (Her usual response is “they’re your teacher, they’re literally getting paid for this,” but I’d like to kindly remind her that teachers at colleges get paid regardless.)  The way I’ve described it several times in my tags is that I’m in love with humanity, and they don’t love me back, so I have a very peculiar view that’s half “God let’s just talk about the Voyager probe and random acts of kindness and the fact that we domesticated our primary predator” and half “I am genuinely not even surprised when people suck, and haven’t been in…forever, maybe.”  It’s a very capital-R Romantic viewpoint, think Grantaire from Les Mis, I am Grantaire and Grantaire is me.

That being said, here are my current thoughts on the V for Vendetta thing.

1. V for Vendetta, or any other dystopian story on the lines of 1984 or Brave New World, presumes a level of competence on the collective scale that I just haven’t seen in the American government (I’m American, we currently have Clinton and a racist Cheeto duking it out for president, I’m usually better about being aware of the wider world but I am Very Concerned about the election, so the only thing that I really took note of was Brexit, I’m sorry, this is gonna be pretty US-centric.)  Individually, I’m confident that many–um, some of our politicians and administrators are perfectly functional human beings with a high degree of competency, but I have yet to see that brought to the table in any sort of concerted effort.  I remember a lot of government criticism way back when the Occupy movement was a thing revolving around “Well, they don’t have a goal” and that’s valid, I made that remark myself, but also…like, fucking hark who’s talking, Washington DC, what have you done with your life lately.  So that’s the main thing, is that our government flat-out isn’t cohesive enough to execute a functional dystopia, we’re too much of a chaotic mess.
   
2. That being said, I don’t know how much that’s a positive thing.  I mean, the lack of a genuine totalitarian regime (and conversations about whether or not America trends toward dystopianism can please delayed to a later date) is obviously a good thing, but the entropic decline toward chaos we’re witnessing in the clash between the rising generation of (largely) liberal mindset and the people in power, who are by and large interested in maintaining the status quo…that’s going to be REAL messy when it starts to break down.  I mean, shit, it’s already breaking down, look around, read the news, and then maybe drink, ‘cause shit’s depressing.  Who needs totalitarianism when you have what-the-fuck-ever this is.
3. This is more general, but I’m of the opinion that people are neither fundamentally good nor bad, but rather fundamentally people (that’s a bastardized Good Omens quote, it makes some EXTREMELY good philosophical points between the demonic/angelic antics and Four Bikers of the Apocalypse).  As mentioned above, this means I assume a level of selfish behavior, particularly from those already in a position of power–power and wealth beget nothing so much as the desire to maintain one’s power and wealth.  In addition, that translates to a fairly telescopic view on the world, in which one’s immediate loved ones (possibly including self) generally take absolute precedence over the abstracted ‘they.’  Soooo that translates into “the human capacity for precipitating disaster is boundless,” in Moran-speak.

Anyway.  TL;DR: I don’t think much of people’s inherent capacity to be functional enough to run a V for Vendetta style dystopian system (this is also where a lot of conspiracy theories break down for me), but hey.  I’m sure they’ll impress me with their skill at fucking everything up anyway.  Let me take this opportunity to remind my American followers to vote against Trump, I don’t give a damn what you think of Clinton.

And if a revolution starts, I can shoot a gun and have medical qualifications in addition to a good tactical brain, fucking point me at the recruitment office.

Anonymous asked: We were lured by the fics ofc. That's totally why. Thanksies darling!

Oh my God, nonny, doll, you’re the cutest.  I’m so glad you like my slightly deranged writing, you’re just.  So nice.  To me.  What do I do with such nice people.

Anonymous asked: ffs I was supposed to go to bed 4 hours ago and I got caught up in your writing and your blog... I have no self control...

Oh, dude, I want to say I’m sorry, I really do, but I’m just kind of flustered and smug.  I’m really glad you (evidently) liked it, though, and I hope you got some sleep in there, eventually.

Anonymous asked: That sith!rey was just ❤️❤️🙌🏻👍🏻👌🏻 I have no words

BABE you’re so sweet, I’m so glad you liked it!

Anonymous asked: So I stumbled on things we lost in the fire and by Briseis do you mean like... The Illiad Briseis? Cuz that is all I can think of?

Yes I do!  It’s a very ridiculous reference to the fact that Enjolras and Grantaire are compared to Achilles and Patroclus a couple times in the Brick, because…um, I’m a Latin student from a house full of English/Classics people and that does stuff to ya.  

You get…something!  I dunno what, limitations of the internet, but like hit me up and I’ll write you a ficlet or something.  I’ll tell you what you definitely do get, though, and that’s a fucking high five for joining me in my nerdiness.

Also I hope the fact that you came and hit me up with this message means you liked the fic.

Anonymous asked: so okay i know you specified lgbtq+ kids who had been kicked out but my parents are really abusive(not. physically or sexually) but. they think they're the best parents but they terrify me and please adopt me you seem like the best oerson

SWEETIE, yes, of course, absolutely, come here.  *hugs you*  (Although, oh God, I hope I haven’t convinced you that I actually…like…have my shit together at all, I am a flailing pre-med student eyeing senior year with apprehension.  BUT I will totally be your Tumblr mom, I will be everyone’s Tumblr mom, come tell me about your day and let me remind you to eat and take care of yourselves.)  

And BELIEVE ME, I know the feeling of people who believe they’re just wonderful and just…are not.  It’s a very particular kind of terrible, isn’t it?  Especially when they have the rest of the world convinced, and then turn around and are emotionally (or otherwise) abusive to you.  You are tough as nails for dealing, I am so proud of you, I am so proud of you, God.  Just…you’ll live through this, sweetie, you really will, and it’ll be hard and it’ll be awful and it’ll be terrible and then one day it’ll be over, okay?  And just…it’s not about being all right every day, about magically being fine as soon as it’s over.  It’s not.  It’s about surviving.  And then someday you’re going to blink and look up and realize that you’ve had more good days than bad and that you’re more at ease in your skin and that you’re better.  I am not fixed, I am not fine, sometimes I still have to bite down a panic attack when I have to talk to my grandmother or a scream when my grandfather starts talking about ‘well, medicine is awfully competitive, I just hope you know what you’re getting into, it can be rough on women, you know’ and spirals into cruel remarks.  But I’m better.  I really am.  It’s really possible.  And you’re gonna make it through this, sweetie, you really are, and I’m so proud of you for making it this far.  

You are now my Tumblr child, feel free to either come off anon or come back on anon and just identify yourself.  (If there are more of you I’ll start handing out nicknames.  Greek letters or something, if you don’t want to come off anon.)

All right, drink some water, make sure you’ve had something to eat, get sleep, take care of yourself.  Moran decrees it.

Anonymous asked: What do you like to do in your spare time? What do you really want to do for a job?

Hey, Anon, what’s up, welcome to the inbox, way to help me kill some time, love you.

All right, give me a minute to remember what spare time is like.  In all seriousness, though, I read fiction (sci-fi/fantasy because reality is dull and realistic fiction is likewise pretty dull), I write fantasy novels/fanfiction (recently), I watch Netflix and movies and read my old 60′s X-Men comics (look, the costumes are terrible and the plots are ridiculous and I’ll fight you in a back alley for the X-Men, okay?)….and I harass my roommate over whatever is available to me.  And of late I listen to Hamilton and suffer over historical characters.

And as for a job, well, there are a few answers to that.  In a perfect world, I wouldn’t need to sleep, and I could pull off a miracle and become a bestselling author and still work as an ER doctor and also get a full night’s rest and have free time.  (This is related to my slightly weird fantasy of ‘in the event that I had millions of dollars, I would buy a couple floors of an apartment building and take in a bunch of LGBTQ+ kids who’d been kicked out of their homes and make sure they were fed and got to go to school and everything with the one requirement that they go to therapy, because a little therapy is good for everyone,’ which is heavily dependent on my having a lot of money in addition to free time.  Also, please do not be led astray by this fantasy, I neither like small children nor am a nice person.)  Since this is not a perfect world and I have dubious luck at best, my slightly more achievable aspiration is to work as an ER doctor at a Trauma One hospital and write not-bestselling novels on the side.  This will probably be accompanied by a high degree of caffeine consumption and some sleep deprivation.  What can you do.  Medicine makes me happy, writing keeps me sane, it seems like a good plan to me.