Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

Anonymous asked: sleepover saturday! so a story about my day is the guy i have a crush on is really nice and validating because i'm a trans demiboy and he makes me feel really cute and handsome!! he's so amazing and nice and i'm !! very happy rn! and my queer platonic partner is being really adorably overprotective and making sure he'll be good for me and i just feel really happy and content. how was your day?? anything interesting happen??? also, another question! are you a spoonie???

OH MY GOD SWEETIE I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU.  *wraps in blankets, feeds cookie*  WAY TO GO YOU.

Let’s see, for me, today I got to spend three hours with my closest friend from high school, which was awesome because I ended up two years ahead of her in college and like hours and hours away (so even though we’re the same age, I’ll be graduating with my bachelors while she finishes sophomore year), so we NEVER get to see each other.  And she is a fucking delight to be around, let me tell you a thing, she bought me a Blizzard and we talked Marvel for an hour of that time.  

My best friend-cum-platonic life partner had a good day at work today, which is awesome because yesterday was literal hell on Earth from the sounds of it.  

My mom helped me dye my hair to get rid of the streaks I had until recently, and it’s brown with red undertones now (my usual color, give or take), and the dye is VERY red and I almost had a heart attack when I got in the shower to rinse it off and looked down because I did not expect to look like I committed a bloody, bloody murder.

OH, and this technically didn’t happen today but I can’t fucking shut up about it: I got to go see X-Men Apocalypse last night with my parents and it was GLORIOUS and my mom was a real champ about the fact that I generally cannot stop myself from bursting out with informative factoids during X-Men movies and therefore sitting next to me is probably a struggle.  I’ve been almost pathetically devoted to the X-Men since I was a wee little seven year old and this is definitely my favorite movie yet.

And as for whether or not I’m a spoonie: um, I’m not entirely sure?  I don’t think I’m familiar enough with the criteria (are there criteria?).  I’m not disabled, nor am I autistic, although I am fairly ADHD with a splash of a few other acronyms in there (*sarcasm* PTSD yay).  I’m intensely introverted (my best friend is basically my only friend at college, my friend from high school is the only one I’m really still in touch with), so I at least appreciate the mental image of spoons based on “Okay but if I deal with this person for three hours today I’m going to want to crawl under a rock tomorrow,” but I’m fairly certain the answer is no, I’m not.  I could be wrong.  It’s way too 1:14 in the morning to do a lot of research though.

OKAY that is everything interesting that has happened to me lately, I get real rambly past about midnight, sorry.  I hope your crush works out, sweetie, and I applaud your partner because you seem like you deserve ONLY THE BEST. 

Anonymous asked: I saw you were doing mini fics for Marvel and I thought you mentioned something about being a huge X-Men nerd in the past. Any chance you could write something short and fluffy for Kitty and Colossus? If not I totally understand but!!! Yeah!!!

All right, let’s fucking GO, Kitty/Piotr is everything to me, the dearth of fic is painful.  Pertinent details are as follows.  Movie-verse (and honestly FUCK the whole Kitty/Bobby plot, I do what I want) because otherwise this is gonna be obscure as shit.  Timeline: right after the mansion is stormed by Stryker in the second movie, after Logan orders Piotr to get as many kids out as possible.  For reference, he does, and takes as many students as he can get his hands on out into the forest, per the novelization.  We’re going to pretend that they actually cast someone Russian for Piotr.  Canon ages, so Kitty’s 16, Piotr’s 20.

Kitty sighed and leaned back against the tree, wishing that she could slide down to the ground.  It was dark outside, especially almost a mile into the forest behind the mansion, and the adrenaline was making her hands tremble.  She just…wanted to sit for a while, or go back to sleep and wake up from this nightmare.  But, of the ten students she’d managed to get out, she was the only one who was a full member of the team, and the others needed her to be an X-Man.  

“Shadowcat?” Rahne asked, tugging gently on her sleeve.  Her eyes flashed in the moonlight, tossing back the glow like something wild.  “Are you a'right?”

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Anonymous asked: Vision/Wanda "We are snowed in and the power's out, how do avoid hypothermia." Mini-fic PLEASE??? Also, mid-air kissing if it isn't too much trouble?

All right *cracks knuckles* gonna do kind of a combo to hit as many of those aspects as possible.  Post-Civil War, minor spoilers, I guess, and I’m assuming they’re not all actually holed up in Wakanda.

The apartment T’challa had acquired for them–in Brooklyn, because Steve left it up to Sam and Sam had pointed out the advantages of knowing the terrain–was middling in size, but it seemed echoingly huge at night.  Wanda hadn’t realized just how quickly she had grown used to the quiet noise of the others in the compound, someone always on hand to sit with no matter how late she was awake.  Insomnia and nightmares were rampant among the Avengers, and she was no exception, but now…now there was no one.  Steve was in his room, probably awake himself and trying to work their way out of this impossible problem.  Sam was better at sleeping than most of them, only really awake about one night in seven.  Lang was gone, Clint was out on a recon mission to check up on an old contact.  Barnes–Bucky–was still comatose in Wakanda, while they tried to find a cure for seventy years of brainwashing and torture.  She had offered her services, nervous, and T’challa had agreed to keep her in mind as a last resort–Wanda’s experience was all putting stuff in, but she could probably learn to take things out.  Until they found a solution, though, the man with the metal arm and the haunted blue eyes would stay in his glass coffin.

And Wanda was awake and alone and cold, at three in the morning on a Saturday, sitting on a couch and staring at a dark television.  

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All right, look, everybody, let’s get one thing about me absolutely clear.  I am a taker-of-no-shit with a short temper.  I am aware of this.  I have been called a cold and ruthless bitch by everyone from people I hated to my now-ex-boyfriend to my family.  I’m over it.  I have moved on.  I’d rather be divisive than indecisive, etc, etc.

So, uh.  An anon calling me names ain’t gonna impress me, mmm-kay?

Anonymous asked: you are a jerk

Generally I get ‘bitch,’ quality variation in insult there.  Then again, which of us is sending anon hate like a coward?

Love ya, dearie.

Anonymous asked: (unfollowed for reylo, which is triggering to me as an abuse survivor)

I…did not intend to reblog anything as Reylo as I firmly do not ship it myself, partly because it is dubious with some heavy abuse overtones (not my jam) and partly because there’s like a 90% chance they’re first degree relatives (REALLY not my jam).  My interest in the two of them is more because he seems determined to batter himself to pieces on Rey, which is a dynamic I recognize as being very unhealthy and also find very interesting as a writer.  I am sincerely sorry that you found it upsetting (fairly sure I know the post you mean), but not that I find the dynamic interesting.

I am glad you are taking care of yourself, though, and hope that your recovery is going well.  You probably won’t see this, but in the event that you do, I want you to know that I am proud of you for surviving and withstanding.  I know how hard it can be, some days, to hear the whispers of those who hurt you in the voices of those who haven’t, or see their shadows cast over the things and people you love.  You have survived and that makes you strong even on the days when you don’t believe it.  

Anonymous asked: (same movie anon) it's basically this guy accidentally a guy and so he and his wife go on the run (with oscar's character helping them) and like shady shit is revealed and there's some PLOT TWISTS that I need to talk to someone about. it's on Netflix too :)

o.O  I am SO VERY interested, I will definitely watch it.  And then I will almost certainly have a need to talk to someone about it too, so sit tight.

Anonymous asked: You and your blog are golden, thank you for sharing

Oh my God, thank you so much?  You are adorable, please have the best day ever!  I am slightly fuzzy on sleep aids just starting to kick in and this was the best thing to find in my inbox, I love everyone in this bar.

Anonymous asked: 12 girls on tumblr complain about a problem they all had and make it out to be some grand injustice that happens to anyone when really they can't think beyond themselves. Are you going to ignore all the good done just because it didn't happen to you?

Hi, anon, I’m gonna be honest and say I’m…genuinely not sure what you’re talking about here?  I’m guessing it has something to do with either the one post or another one of the recent posts that I’ve reblogged about medical equality lately, though, based on the tone, so I’m going to answer this assuming that.

First of all, no, I’m not, as you seem to believe, acting out due to personal insult.  I’ve been reasonably fortunate in medicine, actually, from a certain perspective: when there’s something wrong with me, it’s spectacularly wrong and generally speaking impossible to write off (too concussed to speak, intolerant of a medication to the point of seizures, etc.).  My experience is actually coming from my training as an EMT and in reaching out to doctors to learn what it’s like working in the medical field.  Thanks for the assumption, though.

Second of all, this isn’t an issue of a few girls on Tumblr, it’s increasingly an issue that has the potential to affect a lot of people.  Women, yeah, are a part of that group.  So are trans individuals, people with existing disabilities, or people of color.  Is it going to affect all of those people?  No, of course not, that would be an absurdly generalized statement.  But it affects some, and when you look at the sheer number of people who fall into the group, ‘some’ of them becomes a not-insignificant number.  However, this does not change the fact that the medical field at large has helped innumerable people, nor would I ever want to devalue that.  It is completely possible to acknowledge both the flaws in the medical system and the vast good that the same system can do and has done.  Since the goal of medicine as a discipline is always to help the most number of people possible, I would say that acknowledging the flaws in the system and acting to change things is actually quite in spirit with the same attitude that leads to all that good being done in the first place.

Third of all.  Okay.  Look.  I’m eighteen.  I am first-aid certified.  I am a trained EMT looking for somewhere to take my certification exam.  I am a junior in college (on SUCH a scholarship, I might add, because my family’s broke) currently on the pre-medical studies track.  I am looking into which medical schools I should apply to.  I am talking to doctors and nurses to see what field I might like to specialize in.  I keep a medical kit and provide first-aid care to my friends and classmates when they need it.  So you just damn call me when you decide what else I need to be doing to be qualified to make a note of the fact that some people do not consistently receive the attentive listening and respect they are entitled to.  Not to sound like too much of an idealist or whatever, but in my personal opinion, if only twelve women had ever experienced this sort of thing, it would still be unacceptable.

If you weren’t talking about the medicine thing, feel free to consider this a free lesson in specificity.  Tip: it pays to be particular about the post you’re griping about, because otherwise you get a long rant about medical equality you weren’t looking for.

Anonymous asked: I gotta say, it sounds like you got some pretty shitty EMT training. I'm a pharmacy school graduate and we were always taught how to treat/diagnose ALL patients, if their ethnicity/gender/etc required something different than the standard. You should get your money back.

Hi, anon, thanks for your input.  I’m glad your pharmacy schooling was so high quality, it’s great that you were educated in how to treat everyone, and it’s unfortunate that not all textbooks/courses are up to that level.  I was personally taught in a relatively small town with an admittedly less-than-diverse population, so it’s possible that there were effect from that.  Also, from what I know pharmaceutical schooling is intended to be a career, while–contrary to popular opinion–many EMTs work on a volunteer basis, or work as an EMT in addition to another job.  It’s completely feasible that the higher level education in emergency medical services, like Advanced EMT training or paramedic training, is more complete in these matters.

That said, the class I took was thorough in all other areas, and with prompting the teachers were both able and willing to give answers for the treatment of patients of various ethnicity/gender/etc.  I did outside research to confirm what they told me, given that they were speaking from experience and not from the textbook.  The flaws were not in the specific course, but rather in the official material–textbooks lacking explanations of how to administer CPR to a large-chested individual, or suggestions of ways to communicate with someone who either speaks a different language or who is nonverbal for some reason, just for example.

Also, I would like to politely express that I worked hard in that class, which I took in addition to a full class load at my college, and my family does not often have seven hundred dollars to drop on extra things, even something as useful as medical training.  The teachers worked hard to deliver a quality education, and the inherent flaws in the textbook were not their fault.  While I’m aware that this comment was in all likelihood intended to be completely benign, and even if it wasn’t I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, it did not completely come across that way.  I agree that it is a serious problem that not all medical fields are as on the ball as pharmacy school evidently is, but it is neither my fault nor the fault of the men and women who taught me–indeed, my teachers had clearly gone to some effort to ensure they were capable of treating everyone.  Again, thank you for your input, and I hope you have a lovely day.