Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

Anonymous asked: Fanfic meme R :)

Another ask for the fic meme

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Hell fucking yeah there are.

FANFIC

Honestly I love @determamfidd and @caffeinewitchcraft‘s writing styles more than words can say.  Obligate hat-tip to @notbecauseofvictories, who is glorious.  I’m sure there’s a laundry list of other people who I’m not remembering because I’ve been cleaning all day.

NON-FANFIC

Insert ode to Robin McKinley here.  I love her writing literally more than words can address.  I talk about her a lot.

Also PC Hodgell for armies and cities and people, lately Jay Kristoff who wrote Stormdancer, I should probably include KA Applegate who taught me how to torture my characters at a young age, and IDK Eric Flint who wrote 1632.  I could definitely go on for A While with this list, but I’ll stop here.

Anonymous asked: Things we lost in the fire C, X and Z if you don't mind? :)

*manic laughter* YEAH OKAY AVATAR AU IT IS

For this ask meme

C: Which member do you identify with the most?

…Grantaire.  Like, just generally.  It’s why the whole thing is from his perspective.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

GRANTAIRE.  No smart comments please.  But really, this whole fic could have the tagline “Grantaire has the power to move mountains and he suffers anyway.”

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it?  Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

This is Les Mis, darling, character death is what we do.  I generally prefer canon if you’re going to do character death, and I don’t think I’ve ever written it except sort of in the reincarnation AU?  Anyway, Avatar is a happy story, please rest assured that I have no current plans to murder anyone in this fic.

FanFic Ask Game

yoongis-sass:

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

C: What member do you identify with most?

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

H: How would you describe your style?

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Y: A character you want to protect.

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

(Source: wornquillsandspilledink, via notahotlibrarian)

Anonymous asked: Crispin 14

I’m combining two anonymous asks for this thing that a bunch of people ended up doing against my expectations, because they are both about my poor murder boy.  Poor Crispin, he makes so many bad choices.

14: Are they prone to outbursts (of violence, extreme emotion… exc… )?

…shockingly, no.  Not even the White Wolf was really prone to losing control of himself.  Losing his temper, maybe, but Crispin was raised as a diplomat, with exceptional control over his emotions (this emotional repression may have been a contributor to his eventual snap).  He has always been prone to very cold anger–Crispin has always been the type where he can hold onto his temper until the most opportune moment to release it and then flay someone alive with a totally bland expression.  Like, is he an incredibly dangerous, violent, impassioned person? Yes, 100%.  But those things are always released with the sort of steel-eyed calculating precision to have the maximum impact.  Which is somehow more nervewracking when he’s on the ‘right’ side of things.

44: What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?

Crispin genuinely really likes children.  He’s great with them.  He used to hang out at Brenneth’s smithy before everything went to hell and the kids who drifted through (Brenneth didn’t immediately kick them out and told good stories, so she was something of a hit) adored him.  The kids used to call the two of them pesaruld Crispin and pelali Brenneth (big brother and big sister).  Crispin would love to be able to spend more time with children.

Naturally, absolutely no one trusts him with their children.

Anonymous asked: Brenneth and Crispin 16 if you don't mind. Love your work. :)

Listen I just want you all to know that I expected to get zero (0) asks for this, MAYBE one from a close friend or my mother or something who was trying to humor me.  And now I have Many.  Like eight all told.  I have no idea if this is just one really curious anon or if this story got popular but welcome to my kingdom, you may call me my liege.

16: Is there anyone who makes them feel inferior?

I mean, each other, tbh.  And they have understandable reasons for this, which doesn’t help their respective buckets of Problems.

So, Crispin’s reasons for thinking Brenneth is better than him are pretty plain and simple.  Crispin knows that he was the villain of their story, and as much as he might hate himself for it, he knows that Brenneth did the right thing.  He knows that–regardless of whether he was necessarily compos mentis at the time–he killed a lot of people and attempted a takeover, and Brenneth was the hero who came in to stop him, no matter the cost.  Beyond that, Crispin genuinely believes that Brenneth is a hero, talented and clever and stubborn and strong, and even though he has a very accurate grasp of his own skills and abilities, he’s always thought that Brenneth was severely underappreciated by the people around her.  This translated into more than one extremely ill-advised attempt to get her to side with him during his stint as the White Wolf.

And like moreover Brenneth won.  Brenneth isn’t just the hero, in Crispin’s mind, she’s the victor.  Obviously she’s better than him.

Brenneth, on the other hand, has very similarly logical (if…debatable) reasons for her feeling that Crispin is better than her.  First of all, she was passed over for the prophecy when they first arrived in Alleirat as kids, and that has an impact–Crispin was fated to be the great hero, according to the people who took them in, and Brenneth still feels some of that imposter syndrome, like she stole his title or cheated him out of it, even though he very much surrendered that right when he started murdering folk.  Second of all, flat-out Crispin was better in combat for much of their time fighting each other.  Like, it was an objective reality, he had trained as a warrior and a diplomat exclusively while Brenneth was both a blacksmith and a warrior.  No level of natural talent (and Brenneth is very talented) can make up for that kind of time devoted to practice.  Don’t get me wrong, she did a good job–she poisoned him once or twice, fought to the best of her ability when they clashed, tried to blind him one time–but Crispin was just having more success, better luck.  There was even a time where he believed he had successfully managed to kill her (and in his defense, stabbing someone in the chest and burying them alive in an avalanche does seem pretty foolproof).  By the end of their four years, the two of them were well-matched, almost perfectly equal in skill, but that time of knowing that Crispin was more competent left its mark.  Brenneth believes–erroneously, perhaps, but no one can prove her right or wrong–that if she was as good as Crispin, she would have been able to save him from himself.

Anonymous asked: Krei 5

I have like four asks for this ask meme I expected no one to do?  So I’m grouping them by character, here is Krei, everyone’s favorite Tree Lesbian.

5: List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.

Um….

Surface level is that, ironically, Krei is afraid of fire.  She’s a plant worker and briatan, tree-folk, meaning that she has a bit of a hereditary stress about fire.  She herself isn’t flammable, no more so than your average human, but her instincts are kind of…jumpy about it.  So was her mother, but given that Torei died in a fire, Krei has some serious nerves about the stuff.  Both of them keep it pretty well on lock (sort of necessary working with a firesmith like Brenneth) and let other people light the campfire.

Repressed is a hard one to answer, because honestly Krei is pretty comfortable with herself.  Her people live a long time–Torei was almost 600 at the time of her death (some 50 years prior to the start of the novel), and would have lived longer if she hadn’t died defending a village against a grief-stricken firesmith–and are often very powerful, which comes with a societal expectation that they get their shit together.  That being said…I don’t know if this is going to make sense, but Krei is afraid that one day she’ll turn around and decide that her mother wasn’t enough family for her.  Torei died when Krei was about 100, which is young to lose a parent for a briata (also Torei had Krei older than most briatan have children), but moreover most families are medium-to-large in Alleirat.  Even if you assume a monogamous couple, as opposed to a poly constellation or an open relationship, you might have two parents, some children who might be biological or adopted (abandoning children is strictly verboten and a willing family is usually findable), and the amiasa or amdri (or both) of either or both parents, as well as grandparents and aunts and uncles and close family friends.  The word ‘family’ is pretty lax in Alleirat.  Krei’s family for most of her life was herself and her mother, with occasional but rare visits to Torei’s clan in the north forests.  Torei meant the world to Krei, and this fear that Torei might not have been enough family kind of haunts her.  There’s a word in Alleirai for ‘the amiasa of your parent’ and it means ‘more-than-uncle/aunt,’ and in theory Krei could use it as an affectionate term with Brenneth.  It takes her a long time to come around to the idea that it’s not a betrayal of her two-person family to extend that to another individual.

Krei’s deep dark fear, as cliche as this is going to sound, is failing to keep people safe.  Torei was a good mother, mostly kept her daughter from hearing the worst stories of the White Wolf, but Krei worshiped her mother, and the idea that even Torei and her mighty amiasa, the Fireheart herself, couldn’t save the Wolf’s victims instilled a conviction that failure is inevitable very early on.  Krei’s about 150 now and she’s mostly gotten over her angsty teenage phase where she harped on it more obsessively (like…her 60′s to 70′s were rough), but it still drives her.  She’s a very accomplished warrior, the captain of the latha, the elite guard of her city, but it chews her up every time someone dies on her watch.

28: Is there a certain type of person that disgusts them?

Well, traitors, if I’m being completely honest, which goes great with Crispin.  Krei plays nice with Brenneth on the subject of Crispin because it’s clear that Brenneth is upset, and treats him humanely when he’s her prisoner because Krei has a moral backbone like solid oak, but she’s kind of fundamentally appalled by him.  Not so much because he’s a killer–Krei has killed people, Alleirat still uses hangings, death isn’t a stranger to her–or even because he tried to take over, but she thinks of him as having betrayed his own kind.  She is not wrong about this–Crispin readily admits that he turned on his teachers, his comrades, his countrymen, and his best friend when he became the White Wolf–but it’s more complicated than that.  The fact that that loyalty and betrayal aren’t always clearly delineated, and that someone can be forced from one to the other against their will, is kind of a major plot point.  Shiko is loyal…to a terrible person.  Crispin turned traitor against good people, but because he felt like it was the only way to fulfill a task that had been set before him since childhood.  Brenneth is loyal to Crispin past the point of reason.  The complexities of loyalty are sort of A Thing here, and Krei’s ride-or-die loyalty hangup (which she shares with her mother) is something of a wrench in the gears.

Anonymous asked: Shiko 36

Another ask for the ask meme I did not expect anyone to do!

For those of you Not Up To Date, Shiko is my poor necromancer who starts out as the villain of my Alleirat story.

36: Are they in control of their emotions, or are their emotions in control of them?

Ha ha, um?  Depends on the emotion.  Now, Shiko grew up as a trans girl in a Japanese family.  I have More Research lined up and if anyone was comfortable talking to me about life as a trans person in Japan, I’d be thrilled, but I’m making the radical leap that life as a trans person anywhere comes with a certain degree of learning emotional control to not shiv ignorant morons every other day (extrapolated from being a butch queer in a small town as well as various conversations with my trans friends).  More to the point, Shiko’s life on Earth often left her feeling very isolated for a number of reasons, which has led her to a good degree of control over her emotions as she doesn’t like to be seen to be upset or distressed.  So anger, sadness, etc, not so much–she’s very good at tactical thinking and resisting the immediate impulse to do something to ‘resolve’ the emotion unless she decides it’s a good idea objectively.

That being said, Shiko doesn’t respond well to fear, specifically fear of the unknown, and will immediately grasp at any option  that she feels will give her some control over an unknown situation–like for example winding up in a strange world where no one speaks English or Japanese and she can see ghosts.  Pretty much Shiko’s response to that sort of event is whatever she feels will give her some understanding and control…with absolutely no thought for what it might result in.

This is the source of like 95% of her problems.  The other 5% is caused by buff tree women.

Anonymous asked: Brennth 13

…I 274% did not expect anyone to actually do this ask meme.

But yes!  Let’s do the thing!

13.  Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them?

It’s a strong tossup between Wrath and Greed tbh.  

Wrath because…Brenneth is angry and she has been for eighteen years, since Crispin showed up in her forge with blood on his hands and an offer to come with him.  Brenneth is angry A Lot, there are days where she wakes up and the taste of fury is already on her tongue, and when they turn her loose to go back to battle, she is so, so grateful.  Her chest burns hotter every moment, and the magic of the white fire thrives off her anger.

Greed because Brenneth wants her world and her home and her smithy and her people and her city and her Crispin and her sword.  Brenneth looks at the world as being ‘mine’ and ‘not mine’ and all of Alleirat is hers and she spends fourteen years on Earth where her first thought of every morning and her last thought of every night is a greedy craving to stand in the Alleirai sun and look over the Talein Mountains and see the twin moons rise.  She wants to go home to Alleirat and she wants Crispin to be there with her, free and clear, and she couldn’t give less of a damn about the word ‘impossible.’  Fire is a greedy master.

She would not have called herself particularly wrathful nor particularly avaricious, back before the White Wolf.  She thinks of that girl as very naive.

50 “Not so Nice” OC or FR Asks

wanderers-of-sornieth:

List your OCs in the tags or link your lair so that people can ask you!

1. What is one word to shut them up?

2. What is the thing they feel the most guilty about?

3. What is the worst pain they’ve ever experienced?

4. Describe their worst nightmare.

5. List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.

6. What is something that never fails to make them feel sick?

7. What feature (physical or otherwise) do they hate most about themselves?

8. Do they have anything that triggers them?

9. What is their greatest physical weakness?

10. What is their greatest mental weakness?

11. Do they have any vices?

12. Have they ever done something illegal? What was it?

13. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them?

14. Are they prone to outbursts (of violence, extreme emotion… exc… )?

15. Who do they hate the most?

16. Is there anyone who makes them feel inferior?

17. What sound always gives them a headache?

18. Is there a certain flavor that disgusts them?

19. Do they consider themselves ugly?

20. Do they consider themselves unloveable?

21. What is something that causes them great anxiety?

22. Do they have any mental illnesses?

23. Have they ever been assaulted/abused/raped?

24. Do they fear the possibility of being assaulted/abused/raped?

25. Have they ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust?

26. Have they ever been seriously injured?

27. How many times have they been in the hospital?

28. Is there a certain type of person that disgusts them?

29. Does what they cannot see scare them?

30. Have they ever been bullied?

31. Do they have self-confidence or self-image issues?

32. Do they have a bad relationship with their parents?

33. Have they ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out so well?

34. Have they ever self harmed?

35. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

36. Are they in control of their emotions, or are their emotions in control of them?

37. Have they ever had their freedom taken away?

38. Have they ever been imprisoned?

39. Have they ever been accused of something they didn’t do?

40. Do they often blame themselves for other people’s problems?

41. Do they get sick often?

42. Are they comfortable with where they are in life?

43. Do they wish that they could change their pasts?

44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?

45. What is the emotion they most commonly experience?

46. Have they ever contemplated suicide?

47. Have they ever gone so far as to attempt suicide?

48. Is there anyone that they would willingly kill?

49. If [name] was put into ______ situation, they’d rather die than live to see it through.

50. Create your own!

Anonymous asked: *slides in* you're probably gonna hate me: Xavier/Erik, "Stumble into my Arms"

(I don’t actually…ship this…which I know makes me weird…so here, have another Real Dark Thing)

AO3 summary: “It’s going to be okay, Charles,” Erik says quietly, brushing dark curls away from where tears have started to dry under Charles’ closed eyes.  “You’ll see.”

“He’s a madman, Erik,” Charles says dully, past caring if Apocalypse hears them.

“He’s going to fix us,” Erik swears, like a man clutching to the last thread of his own reason.  “You and me, Charles, he’s going to fix us.”

“Go to hell,” Charles says, and turns his face away when Erik bends down to pick him up from the ground.

Actual summary: It starts with a missing scene that’s like 98% Erik being obsessed with Charles and Charles being in mourning for the man he used to know and also the whole entire planet.  Apocalypse lied to Erik about why they needed Charles and Erik is shattered, pretty much clinging to Charles as his last anchor point.  So when he discovers that this plan doesn’t end with Charles converted to his viewpoint and by his side, Erik goes off the fucking rails.  The fight is a lot shorter, since Charles is in better shape and Erik doesn’t do a heel-face turn halfway through.  On the other hand, Erik is in pretty bad shape, mentally and emotionally speaking, and his worldview is pretty well shattered, after the battle.  Jean rebuilds the house herself, alone, and the fic ends with Erik broken on the floor of Charles’ reconstructed study begging for forgiveness.  Charles presses his lips thin and does not answer.

If you want bonus pain feel free to imagine this as a soulmate AU.