Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

Anonymous asked: If humans had a third hand what do you think it would be called? If you could play any instrument without practicing, what would it be?

First one: This?  The greatest question.  Okay so like obviously if it was a hand that sprouted from like right above your sternum, it would be called the middle hand, seeing as we already have the right and left hands (fun story, you know that phantom limb thing that happens with ADHD, among other things?  My brain used to really stubbornly spit out ‘middle eye’ as A Thing I Had when I was younger, it was weird).  On the other hand (ha, I’m a riot), if it was another hand below either your right or left hand (wouldn’t it be interesting if it was genetically dictated which side you had your third hand on, like handedness is genetically dictated or which thumb is on top when you lace your fingers) I imagine you would still have a ‘dominant’ hand.  Like, one of the three would be more dexterous than the others.  So maybe you’d have like “Yes, this is my left hand, and this is my right hand, and this is my prime hand.”  WHICH WOULD BE RAD.  Also, if you had two pairs of hands you could have your ‘prime’ hands and your ‘off’ hands, so like ‘prime left’ and ‘off right’ and yeah, this was a good question.

Second one: ANY.  I have very limited patience for learning instruments because I can’t read sheet music for shit (I have tried, I have made an effort, I have spent years on it, but nope, brain won’t do the thing).  I can sing!  But IDK I played the flute for a while, which was fun, and I’ve always wanted to be able to play like a harp or a lap harp, or the guitar.  I would really love to play either of those.  (I recognize that the flute and the harp are both really delicate instruments for someone like me but I like them, okay.  At least the guitar fits The Aesthetic.)

Anonymously ask me anything you want to know!

Anonymous asked: um. this is oddly specific, but have you by any chance read familiar by achievingelysium? its altean!lance and its like solid langst, so [shrug]. just wondering. sorry i know its weirdly specific but i do have Reasons for asking.

I have not!  I haven’t read a ton of Voltron fic (although I recommend the hell out of the Let The Spectrum In series because it’s just…real good) because…well, I just dragged myself out from under my thesis, and off the top of my head I don’t recall any Altean!Lance fics.  I think this is possibly because my response is always “????? 10000 years where?” but then again I get literal at weird moments.

littlestartopaz asked: Parents meme: Alanna the Lioness and Natsume Takashi (from Natsume Yuujincho) Alanna: fighty, heavy sense of justice, does what she wants. Takashi: kind to a fault, accepts (almost) everyone. Takashi is the hands on, quiet parent. Growing up he seems like kind of a push over, but he doesn't humor pushing boundaries in his own quiet way. A parent you know will never be against you. Alanna teaches you how to fight and stand firm. Stand for what you believe and do it even if society is against it.

…this is weirdly accurate.

slyrider asked: OMG WYNONNA EARP IS MY FAV

IT’S SO GOOD

ALL THE BEST PARTS OF THE EARLY SEASONS OF SPN, WITH THE BRIGHT LIGHT AND SNAPPY PATTER OF BUFFY, AND WYNONNA ON TOP LIKE A CRANKY, HARD-DRINKING, LEATHER-CLAD CHERRY.

Anonymous asked: *leans in* voltron?? u r voltron watcher??

Originally posted by palevoltron

IN FACT I AM

royalslayer asked: im gonna fuckin die that ficw as the besT

Originally posted by romanogers4ever

I AM RIDE-OR-DIE ON THIS EXACT VERSION OF STEVE ROGERS OKAY

Also, I am very serious about this being how the PR folks find out that Steve Rogers is, in fact, NOT the benign and lovable (if slightly bigoted) grandpa they expected to yank out of the ice.  Bucky finds the footage of this interaction eventually and laughs until there are literally tears streaming down his face.

maelace asked: Okay, for Steve Rogers prompts: Steve is leaving the grocery store and hears some guy yelling at the little Girl Scouts selling cookies about how Feminism Is Ruining This Country and Girl Scouts Are Evil for Supporting Abortion and Lesbians. (Because this actually happens, it happened to me when I was a kid. And once you are like 13 you are allowed to sell without an adult, so me and my friend were alone).

Ahahaha yeah, good times, been there, done that.  Right, so, I’m picturing this as like a month or two after Avengers, while Steve is still Figuring Out the 2000’s.  Also featuring: Steve swearing like a Brooklyn kid who went into the Army, and my weird obsession with time-displaced super soldiers who are angry about bananas.  WARNING: 100% WISH FULFILLMENT.  Some general assholery and Steve losing his temper a little under the cut because…this is longer than I meant it to be.

Steve was sure it would shock any number of people, but his biggest problems with the 21^st century weren’t the televisions, phones, or coffee makers (thank you, Stark).  There was a learning curve, but it was reminiscent of the learning curve after he’d gotten the serum—hell, he’d gone from a colorblind, partly deaf asthmatic with more chronic illnesses than you could fit on a chart to a walking talking superhuman.  The whole world had been brighter, louder, and faster-paced than Steve had ever been remotely prepared to deal with, so he went onto stages and into battles until he adapted.  The 21^st century was brighter, louder, and faster-paced than the forties could have dreamed, so Steve got on his bike and went to tour the country without help.  By the time he got back, he was pretty sure he could manage technology well enough to Google shit like ‘what is Facebook.’

(Google was good.  Steve fucking loved Google.  All the answers were on Google.  Including answers to questions he never needed answered, but he had gotten better at choosing his search terms.)

No, Steve’s biggest problems with the 21^st century, other than the obvious fact that it wasn’t his century, mostly revolved around money.

Example: who in their right goddamn mind paid seven dollars for a pound of apples?  Had anyone ever heard of affordable bread?  What the fuck was happening with the price of potatoes—potatoes, for the love of God.

“Inflation’s a bitch,” a passing college student said in dry amusement, obviously picking up on his bitter muttering. Steve’s scowl deepened and he put the apples in his cart.

For the first time in his life, Steve actually didn’t have to worry about money—apparently seventy years of back pay totaled up to a significant amount of cash—but that didn’t mean that he didn’t wince as he did the math for his food.  If this was usual for one person, what the hell were families paying? Bucky’s family had been Bucky, his ma, his dad, and all three of the girls, plus sometimes Steve.  How was a family of seven affording this food?  He added it to his mental list of things to Google, along with what is wrong with bananas.

Bananas.  Of all the things for the future to fuck up, fucking bananas were weird bland not-bananas now.  Steve had never had strong opinions on bananas before, but live and goddamn learn, apparently.

Anyway.  The money thing was why, upon entering the grocery store, Steve hadn’t paused at the table set up just inside the door, save to read the sign hanging in front of it—it was good to see that the Girl Scouts had survived.  Nonetheless, he could bake cookies his own self and probably get a better net value than six bucks for a tiny box, thanks.  To be polite, he’d waved a little to the girls at the table, both wearing green sashes and winning smiles as they did a slow but respectably steady business, and then he’d gone on his damn way like a civilized human being.

But God forbid that other people could do the same.  Steve checked out with his apples and cereal and soup ingredients (and no bananas), put them in pair of reusable grocery bags, and started for the door just in time to hear raised voices.

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Anonymous asked: Congratulations on your graduation!

Thank you so much!

Originally posted by whitedogblog

readera asked: You should do the work!

THANKS

Also I see your other ask and am getting there my dude, thank you for your patience.

lathori asked: Marvel (you must do some that don't involve Xmen, I see you) FOR ALL THE MEME QUESTIONS <3 your wife

JUST LET ME TALK ABOUT X-MEN FOR THREE HOURS WOMAN

For this list

name ur politically correct ship that no one ever questions

I SHIP NICK SPENCER WITH THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL RESERVED FOR TRAITOROUS BIGOTED SCUM.  But I mean other than that…Natasha/Clint, Vision/Wanda, Rogue/Remy, and my much-maligned-by-movies-and-ignored-by-the-internet OTP Kitty/Colossus.  There is no order of preference here.  Also I recently got sold REALLY HARD on Steve/Bucky (recently, ha, like three years ago Jesus Moran get your shit together) so like, also Steve/Bucky.  And any marriage that makes Storm happy and a queen of a country, so by default Ororo/T’Challa.

now name ur trash ship

I do ship Natasha/Bucky, but I think the circumstances confirm me for a bad person, because I only ship them in the context of ‘I don’t remember you and you barely remember me but you can’t bring yourself to kill me so you shot me and saved my life and I woke up in your safehouse while you wiped my wounds with a gun in your other hand and I’m not sure which one of us you’re going to shoot first.’  So.  Like.  In the single most unhealthy available context.  In a whole universe of unhealthy contexts.

Also I feel like Bobby had a crush on Hank when they were both kids and sometimes still jerks off to his best friend but I DIGRESS.

and ur really trashy im-going-to-hell ship

Elektra the unhinged murderer/Matthew Murdock the desperately earnest crusader.  Fuck brutally against a wall and piece each other back together with trembling hands that smear your skin with blood.  Cling to each other in your dying moments and stand over each other’s graves feeling guilt for not saving each other and guilt for not killing each other.  Throw words like knives and hate yourselves for every hit even as you gloat.

Good.

who is your cinnamon roll fave who everyone loves

KITTY GODDAMN PRYDE, @EVERY MOVIE PERSON EVER COME HERE AND FIGHT ME.  Also Warren and Storm, I would die for Storm.

Also Steve Rogers.  I have this reoccurring daydream where Steve punches Nick Spencer in the face.

who is your sinnamon roll fave who everyone loves to hate/hates to love

I genuinely would not even know if I had one of these, Marvel has been in my blood and bones since I was too young to be on a computer unsupervised.  I like the FF more than most people seem to?  I really like Professor Xavier and I get really defensive when people talk shit about him?

who is your trash fave who is so problematic they probably have hate tumblrs dedicated to them

I…do not know.  I think Loki makes a pretty compelling villain, but I think I’m in the majority there.  I low-key want to fight whenever someone suggests that Warren joined Apocalypse of his own free will, but I AM STANDING BY COMIC CANON COME AT ME.  So yeah, don’t think I have one of these.

what is ur  guiltiest guilty fave fandom

Okay, listen, I will be an eighty year old woman who is made entirely of salty, salty attitude and brittle bones and I will STILL be reading my campy ridiculous 60′s comics with terrible dialogue and circus-performer villains.  I know it’s not a fandom, but still.

OH I really love X-Men: Evolution and I have a whole lecture about why it’s the best adaptation of the X-Men that I’m aware of to date, but I never tell anyone that I like it for some reason, does that count?

what is the fic you want to write/read but can’t because it is too full of Sin

…so.  I actually started this one (this one) and it was Good but then I realized it would be months and months of work and I got pre-emptively tired, but basically, first words soulmate AU where Natasha and her Black Widow trainee peers all got programmed to brutally murder anyone who said their words. So then Clint shows up and of course says her words and she tries to kill him before he pins her to the wall with an arrow, and they have a really terrible brutal few months where she begs him to just kill her a lot.  And Clint keeps a taser on his person for survival reasons.  And at least once Natasha tries to stab him to death in his sleep just to end the struggle.  And Clint has a terrible awful no-good very bad conversation with Coulson about the appropriate time to cut his losses.

what is the most sinful fic you have ever read/written

G O D D A M N

what is the worst thing you want to become canon (character death, trash-ship etc)

…listen…it’s Marvel…it’s all already canon babydoll…all of it…everyone is dead…everyone has had bad relationships…everyone has been resurrected…there’s no answer here…

what is your most sinful headcanon

Do not look me in the eye and tell me that Remy LaBeau has not figured out a way to have sex with someone without touching her skin.  Whether he’s put it into action or not, that’s another story, but he has DEFINITELY figured it out.

what is your cutest headcanon

Clint watches a lot of Disney movies (he looked it up, it’s called reparenting yourself) and so consequently during that couple month period where he and Natasha are basically locked in a warehouse waiting for her to fight off the worst of the brainwashing, Natasha watches a lot of Disney movies.  Now they’re Avengers and they watch Disney movies after missions and shit. Steve gets invited to join them because Natasha decides that They Will Be Friends (Natasha’s grasp on how to make real non-mark friends is heavily influenced by the fact that her first real friend shot her, handcuffed her, and locked himself in a warehouse with her for a couple months, and also was a circus performer with a dubious handle on the friendship thing himself).

what is your heart-breakingist head canon

…I mean…canon…

I have others that are non-canon or fit within canon but like that shit’s a longer post that would need to be broken down fandom by fandom

what is ur crackiest crack ship

HA, Storm/Arkon, because the idea of Storm as the queen of a campy-ass warrior world makes me laugh

what is ur marginally less cracky crack ship

Fury/literally anyone, because he would be SO BITTER about growing feelings

what is ur favourite ridiculous au

It’s not actually that ridiculous, it’s kind of terrifying, but AU where Loki brainwashes Natasha instead of Clint in Avengers.