Anonymous asked: (whispers) *can* alpaca uh, do that with their buckteeth?
iwasthylaonce asked: hey, is it okay to reblog that post about nazis?
Hell yes, spread my wrath across the interwebs as your little heart desires.
Anonymous asked: whoOoOo tattOO is this ur first tat???
It is! It’s not big, just a couple lines of text under my collarbone, but the quote means a lot to me and I love it!
Anonymous asked: Dear God. Hamilton and Jefferson in an econ class together with history on Hamilton's side. That is simultaneously the best and worst thing ever. Ham's ego able would cause most of the students to just say fuck it. I love it 🤣
GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT.
Honestly I’ve been planning for the two of them to be stuck in an Econ class together since the get-go. On the one hand, the other students kind of need to know their shit in order to be able to keep up, so the people who stick it out probably Know Economics. On the other hand…oh, God, that poor grad student.
Anonymous asked: Keith (VLD) for the headcanon meme?
For this headcanon meme!
A: what I think realistically
Listen, I see and appreciate the hell out of the general headcanon that Lance has ADHD, but I propose ADHD Keith? Like, hear me out here. Fixated on aliens for his whole life, hyperfocused when he’s flying (pros in battle: very hard to shake him up; cons in battle: he doesn’t always react emotionally when or how he’s supposed to, which can be rough on the others during a merge), prickly around most people but also v e r y attached to His People, and that specific combination of “intense emotions that can burst out at unpredictable times” and “extremely controlled emotions when under pressure” tbh all of it just kind of reads ADHD to me. Possibly because I myself have ADHD and am basically just like this terrible sword boy. Especially the look on his face after he dumps a massive amount of information about his aliens theory at the start of the first episode–it just screams ‘fuck fuck fuck someone please shut me up I can’t stop talking and I can feel you getting annoyed with me’ which, like, same.
Unrelatedly, I feel like Keith knows how to pickpocket people and hotwire most vehicles. He knows how to knife fight and he lives in a shack with no apparent form of income, and he definitely stole that hoverbike in the first episode. He has some Weird Life Skills. At some point I expect this to become pertinent in the show with Keith boosting a spaceship.
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
Keith scores a solid C in Emotions generally, but more specifically he just fucking sucks at noticing when someone’s interested in him. Like, in terms of friendship and romance and/or sex, he just won’t notice. He and Shiro were hanging out on the regular in their big brother/little brother relationship for solidly eight months before Keith looked up from a book and went “Wait, we’re friends” and Shiro was like “…yes?”
This is pertinent because Lance, within Not Too Long, realizes that he’s actually pretty into Keith (he’s horrified, they are rivals, he can’t have a crush on Keith). Once Hunk and Pidge–mostly Hunk, because Lance burst into the kitchen yelling ‘SOS’ and once they got him to explain, Pidge laughed so hard they gave themself a black eye on a table corner–talk Lance down off the ceiling, he spends a while waiting for his feelings to go away and then goes back to hitting on Keith casually at every opportunity, but With Intent this time. Keith, on the other hand, spends months being confused and distressed about the unidentifiable physical sensations that being around Lance causes and that all translates straight into Prickly Mode. Two conversations that happen within days of each other are:
> Lance telling Hunk, entirely depressed, that he just really thinks Keith hates him? Like, clearly he has no shot there. And Hunk is a good friend and they lie on the floor while he listens to Lance go on at length about Keith.
> Shiro sitting Keith down and asking what’s wrong and listening to Keith’s mildly panicky outburst about how he DOES NOT UNDERSTAND what’s going on with him and he feels bad for lashing out at Lance but he can’t??? Stop??? And Shiro is just like “Oh my god Keith you’re into him, you’re fucking into him and people on the other side of the star system know he’s into you, just fucking kiss him and see what happens.”
No one is more confused than Lance when Keith corners him alone and goes “I’m going to try something and if it’s a disaster blame Shiro” and walks up to Lance like he’s a wild animal and just. Fucking plants one on him.
Anyway, thesis statement: Keith is a failure, and Lance is a disaster, and Shiro and Hunk deserve plaques, and Pidge gets nothing because they believe that getting front row seats to this mess is it’s own reward.
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
Keith has always wanted answers about the mysteries of the world, but not like this. He has never been so bone-deep sickened as he is when he’s told that he’s not human, he’s Galra, he’s one of the monsters fighting to put the universe under a boot heel. On that shuttle trip back to the Castle, Keith locks himself in the bathroom and sits on the floor until he feels like he can open his mouth without hyperventilating or vomiting or both, and Shiro has to coax him out.
“Come on, Keith,” Shiro murmurs, once he’s gotten Keith to unlock the door. He wraps his flesh and blood arm around Keith’s shoulders as a support, and Keith dimly thinks about how Shiro tries to touch them with the Galra arm as rarely as possible. He gets it, now. “Come on, Keith, let’s go. We should be at the Castle soon, it’ll be okay.”
“No, I–no, I can’t,” Keith says, digging in his heels. Shiro is easily strong enough to move him by force, but he doesn’t, lets Keith press back against the wall again and makes a soothing sound under his breath. “I can’t,” he says again.
“It’s okay, Keith,” Shiro says, and his voice is low and soft and calm, soothing even though Keith doesn’t care to be soothed right now. Something clutches hard in Keith’s chest, and he hears a ragged keening sound as if down a long hallway, and it takes him a moment to realize that it’s him. “The others will understand.”
“I–they’ll be so angry,” Keith says blankly, clutching weakly at Shiro’s vest. “They’ll be right to be angry.” His stomach lurches and he might throw up if he had anything left. “Allura will never speak to me again.” He can see the look on her face already, the grief and disgust and rage that twist over her face every time they face the Galra, and he can’t see it directed at him, he can’t.
“They won’t be angry. The princess will understand that you didn’t know, and you’re a part of the team.” Shiro gives his shoulders a squeeze. “Come on, everyone understood about me,” he says, clearly trying to be encouraging. “And you’ve met the Blade, they’re good people. Our allies.”
Keith can feel tears burning behind his eyes and clenches his teeth against them.
It takes Shiro another twenty minutes to talk Keith out into the body of the shuttle, and another ten to get him to walk out into the Castle dock.
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
Keith finds Allura a few hours after his heritage comes to light. She’s standing alone on the bridge, her hands folded behind her at parade rest, and Keith finds her by accident on his quest to find somewhere to stand alone himself.
“Hello, Keith,” she says coolly as he stops dead in the doorway, apparently identifying him without looking away from the starscape.
“Um,” he says, wishing that he could curl up and die instead of having this horribly awkward interaction. It takes a few tires before he can force another sentence through his throat. “I can leave, I’m sorry.”
“The Castle is your home as well,” she says, turning halfway to present her profile. “Do as you like.”
Keith hovers in the doorway, frozen between the impulse to beg her to forgive him–please, please, he’s sorry, he didn’t know–and the impulse to run and never come back. Allura doesn’t say anything, and the silence is tense and uncomfortable and he hates everything about it. He’s kept his gloves on all night, because whenever he looks down he sees himself scratching at his arms like he’s trying to peel his blood vessels out of his body and Shiro had quietly recommended that he keep the gloves on so that he doesn’t hurt himself.
“I’m sorry,” he blurts again. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know, that–I didn’t know. We don’t have to, um.”
“Discuss it?” Allura turns her back on him again, but this time her shoulders curve as if she wants to curl up on the floor too, maybe. As if she wishes she wasn’t the last of her kind–wiped out by his. God, Keith is a monster. “It is not your fault, Keith,” she says, stiff and clipped, as if she’s trying to convince herself. “And the Red Lion chose you. We are in a brief pause between battles and we do not have time to have elaborate conversations about the finer points of the Galra, so. I trust that you will not turn on us. Everything else can wait.”
“Right,” Keith whispers. The words should be reassuring. He feels more like he’s been stabbed in the gut. “That’s good.”
After Shiro disappears, he finds her on the bridge again, in almost exactly the same place.
“We must get him back,” she says lowly.
“I know,” Keith says. “We will.”
“Keith,” Allura says, and this time when she half-turns to him, she beckons minutely, and he hesitantly steps up beside her. “I’m sorry, for the way I’ve treated you,” she whispers, looking away from him toward the stars. “You did nothing to deserve it.”
“I feel like I did,” Keith mutters.
“You had no hand in what happened to Altea,” she says. “It may take me time to let go of my anger, but.” She sets her shoulders, looking over at him, and offers a tiny smile–the most genuine smile she’s directed at him since they found out. “If you bring Shiro back to us–back to me–that will go far.”
Keith stares for a moment, then allows a tiny smile of his own, and nods.
Anonymous asked: You mentioned Parker and Sophie in your John Wick tags so can I request some Leverage for the headcanon ask?
Let’s go steal a headcanon meme. (shut up, I’m hilarious)
A: what I think realistically
The brew pub’s microcosm, at this point, is bolstered by layers upon layers of gambling. The old staff bets on how long new kitchen hires will last, and if you last out the first three months without quitting in a mild panic about what the fuck is happening here, you get formally inducted into the wider pool of bets. The three top questions are:
The date of Nate and Sophie’s wedding: the pot is a handsome $700 despite the relatively small bets placed and regularly reupped (it took them two years to properly exchange names and thirteen years to sleep together, don’t tell me it wouldn’t be an ongoing question)
Who exactly is dating whom, among their three bosses: there are a scant three people who put their money on a poly triad, and they’ll be splitting the $1100 between them when someone figures Eliot and Parker and Hardison out
No, Really, What The Fuck Is Happening Here: There is one person who put their whole paycheck on “fuck it, they’re fucking criminal masterminds, they probably take down governments in their fucking free time” after seven pints of Thief Juice, and they are walking away with a cool two grand if they can ever actually prove it
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
So, the FBI thinks that Hardison and Parker are official agents. Like, the FBI is so convinced of this, so convinced of this, that Hardison actually discovers they have valid badge numbers–they are all but being paid by the federal government as part of their Portland white collar crimes office. Agent McSweeten and his partner have benefited handsomely from Hardison and Parker’s involvement, and they vouch for their ‘old buddies’ at every turn, to the extent that most of the feds they could run into in a number of cities (Boston, Portland, probably NYC) are like ‘yes, they’re undercover again, c’est la vie.’
Which is all well and good until Interpol shows up and has to work with the FBI on something quite unrelated, which results in Sterling tearing his hair out because “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY’RE NOT FEDERAL AGENTS THEY’RE CRIMINALS, OF COURSE THEY’RE CRIMINALS.”
The Feds honestly pity the poor guy. Damn, their people are good, their undercover personalities even managed to convince Interpol, damn fine. McSweeten tells Parker the story next time he sees her and she laughs for literally days.
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
Eliot believes–no, he knows–that he’s going to die for Parker and Hardison. He’s actually pretty comfortable with this, but he knows that if he ever brings it up out loud, the pair of them are going to mutually implode. I wrote that into a fic, actually. Also, listen, we all know this is canon. “Until my dying day.” Eliot, please be a little less obviously worshipful of these people. Some of my Eliot Spencer feelings can also be found here.
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
I like to think that there’s a Leverage Mark II comprised of some of the kids they run into over the course of their jobs, I even wrote out like 2K words in headcanons for it. Members include:
Mastermind: Olivia Sterling, from The Queen’s Gambit Job
Hitter: Molly (who now identifies as Matthew), from The Carnival Job
Hacker: Trevor, from The Hot Potato Job
Grifter: Widmark (Mark), from The Fairy Godparents Job
Thief: Josie, from The Boost Job
Client: Luka, from The Stork Job, whose little sister has been kidnapped
I just really want this, okay? I want to see them become the greatest criminals around under the tutelage of the Leverage squad and take up the torch when Eliot and Hardison and Parker decide to dial it back a bit and buy a restaurant somewhere.
(Related headcanon that Leverage habitually starts training up new generations and like in five hundred years humanity’s in space and the Leverage has an ancient oil painting hanging in their mess hall and whenever someone asks why they don’t transfer it to a hologram, the crew of the ship puffs up and declaims at length about their honored founder Harlan Leverage III and how they would never insult his memory like that! In the afterlife, Nate S C R E A M S.)
charmingcatastrophe asked: Just sayin, I would be SO interested in your time travel story.
All I’m saying is that, FIRST OF ALL, I feel that ‘help I am uncontrollably time traveling’ is a radically underused narrative trope, and, SECOND OF ALL, there is nothing I want more than an excuse to write a story about a modern gay dude who learned all his life skills in the 1760′s and is therefore a very weird combination of modern ideals of Equality Et Al, incredibly archaic life skills, and a total inability to drive a car.
royalslayer asked: i remember i started following you after a reply you made on some medical issue about the male and female bodies being different and needing different first aid and it was informative that was like what 2 years ago holy shit
That was apparently a popular reason to join the party. …parade? …conga line? Well, whatever. Glad you have you, my dude!
skymurdock asked: for the headcanon meme: Steve Rogers the angry little chihuahua.
On Monday, the very angry Stevie got beaten up in one parking lot, but he was still angry. On Tuesday, the very angry Stevie got beaten up behind two diners, but he was STILL angry. On Wednesday, the very angry Stevie got put through three experimental procedures, but he was STILL angry. Anyway, gonna do me some Steve Rogers for this ask meme.
A: what I think realistically
Adapting to the 21st century isn’t really difficult, once he can face the reality of it properly. It reminds him, more than anything, of that first week after the serum–everything is too bright and too loud and too fast. But now the world is unfamiliar to boot and there’s no one who
cares enoughhas the time to help him adjust. It’s a rough couple of months before he masters the situation.Unrelated to the above, Steve was actually great friends with most of the chorus girls. At first they were…uh…suspicious, to say the least, because he was a massive brick house of a dude who could lift a motorcycle and looked like the ultimate version of the assholes they put up with on the regular. So they didn’t speak to Steve past the most basic courtesies for a week and a half.
Then they went out drinking after their first performance in a new city and Steve sat quietly in the corner with a water until he saw Cheryl sitting stiff and toying with a fork as a man’s hand crept up her leg.
“Back off,” Cheryl said sharply. The guy did not.
No one was more surprised than Cheryl when Steve loomed up from the corner like the wrath of God and sharply announced, “Buddy, if you’re not going to leave the lady alone, you and me are gonna have problems.”
The next day, Steve showed up to the theater ready to sit off to the side as usual. Instead Cheryl plopped down in front of him, held out a handful of bobby pins, and said, “I need an extra set of hands to put my hair up. You braid, Cap?”
“Um, not really,” Steve said, blushing. “But I can learn.”
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
Highlights of Steve in the modern grocery store include:
- Steve And The Grudge Against Weird Bananas
- Steve And What The Fuck Do You Mean You Want Five Dollars For This Tomato
- Steve And Wow You Can Get Vaccines At A Grocery Store–Wait What Do You Mean People Believe Vaccines Are Dangerous
- Steve And Hey You There Leave That Cashier Alone Unless You Wanna Settle This Outside
- Steve And The Girl Scouts of America
- Steve And The Struggle of Grocery Shopping Without Getting Recognized
- Steve And Really What The Fuck Is Wrong With Bananas
Needless to say, Steve isn’t really allowed to do the grocery shopping anymore.
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
SHIELDRA dumped all their files onto the internet, courtesy of Natasha’s salt-and-burn solution to HYDRA’s infiltration. Steve has been in the modern world for a good few years by now, so he sits down and starts searching through it for information.
He shouldn’t be doing it. He knows it’s just torturing himself. He hasn’t known where Bucky is since Insight went down, and none of this will help him find the Winter Soldier if he doesn’t want to be found, Natasha assured him of that. But…he just has to know.
Capture. Surgeries. The arm. Missions. Cryostasis. “Programming.” More missions, more cryo, more programming–torture, it’s torture, God, all this time he was mourning his best friend while Bucky was being tortured.
Steve lasts through five files before he throws up.
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
Y’all, Steve is Wanda’s weird adopted big brother and no one can stop me from believing it. He shows her a bunch of Disney movies that she missed out on as a kid and she asks him for advice about Vision and he jokes about how he’s definitely the wrong person to be asking for romantic advice. They have a good weird relationship.
Anonymous asked: Adrien (from Miraculous Ladybug) for the headcanon meme?
HELL YES. For this ask meme.
A: what I think realistically
We all know, in our heart of hearts, that Adrien and Marinette are the local masters of all physical activity. Like, I recognize that the kwami magic is what makes them super strong or agile or whatever, but like. Y’all. Some of that is just pure organic buff-as-fuck muscle. Over the course of their first school year of having the Miraculous, Adrien and Marinette both get so fit they could easily be sports stars. During a game of dodgeball, Adrien accidentally convinces everyone he’s a gymnastics master because he does a back handspring to avoid a ball, totally on instinct out of habit because combat. Marinette starts wearing tank tops because Summer Ugh and Adrien walks into a door because holy shit Marinette has back muscles wow oh my god. A bunch of them go swimming and everyone’s like “You are both tiny teens, how do you both have a sixpack.” Adrien’s modeling agents are baffled by where he’s finding the time to pull this off, but like, hey, as long as he’s putting on lean muscle instead of bulking up, they’re not gonna…like…stop him.
Anyway flash forward to post-identity reveal when Marinette and Adrien are playing dodgeball again and she literally vaults over him to nail the last member of the opposing team and Adrien catches her on the drop and they run around celebrating like morons with Marinette on his shoulders while the entire school gapes at them.
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
Listen, I know we all like to talk about Marinette’s response when she finds out that Adrien is Chat Noir, but. For a hot second. Let’s just talk about how Adrien is going to react when he finds out that Marinette is Ladybug. He thinks Marinette is great, clearly, even though her inability to speak to him has obviously convinced him that she doesn’t like him much. But Adrien admires Marinette so much, she’s such a strong-willed person, she’s so clever, she’s so funny, and honestly if he wasn’t already so head over heels for Ladybug he’s be crazy about her.
After he finds out Ladybug’s identity, Adrien spends three hours lying flat on his back in his bedroom, staring up at the ceiling.
“Plagg, she’s so cool. Plagg. Plagg, Marinette is Ladybug and she’s amazing. Plagg. Plagg, are you listening to me? Plagg, I think I love her.”
Plagg is absolutely not listening to him. Adrien doesn’t care.
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
Fam. Let’s talk about akuma!Chat Noir. I have no idea if this is ever going to be a thing, but I want it to be a thing and I’ve been obsessed with it ever since I saw THIS AMAZING COMIC.
Ladybug is wounded in battle with Hawkmoth, and Chat Noir…well. The akumas are attracted to strong negative emotions, and for that moment, Adrien is nothing but a bit of driftwood being dragged out to sea on a riptide of grief and guilt and rage. And Hawkmoth, he does like his dramatic irony, and what could be more ironic than this, one hero destroying another.
He miscalculates a bit, though. His akuma melts into Chat Noir’s bell, and the magic sweeps over him, and, indeed, Adrien feels the akuma warp the lines of his thoughts. Until all he feels is rage, white-hot and protective. His lady is bloody in his arms and it’s all because of Hawkmoth and he is going to destroy anyone who comes near her.
Chat Blanc is going to make sure of it.
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
Anyway Adrien’s mother was a Miraculous holder and he got his sense of humor from her (”You know me,” she used to say, winking at him as she did her elaborate blue-green-violet eyeshadow, “vain as a peacock!”) and also she used to tell him about what it meant to be a good person. He tries to live up to her memory every day.
