Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

thiskidiknow:

petermaximoff:

toraziyals:

one time my old roommate made an account on some kind of website focused on finding job offers, and a random woman sent her a message that was like, “hello, i see you are a young woman who lives in maryland, i am looking for someone to legally marry my son for two years so that he can get cheaper tuition to a college in your state, would you be interested? i would pay you for doing this and you could get divorced afterwards”

it was SUPER WEIRD and she was of course like “no?? i won’t do this, what the fuck” BUT ANYWAYS IMO this should be everyone’s next strange fanfiction plot: “we got married for the college tuition because my mom secretly arranged it over the internet” au

okay but like two friends getting married for cheaper tution like hah we are geniuses this is a fool proof plan and we are completely platonic everything is fine haha i didnt just notice how beautiful your eyes are and how soft your hair feels LOVING THIS CHEAPER TUITION EVERYTHING IS FINE

And call it InTuition

(Source: ziyal, via thepainofthesass)

the-anime-man:

sadspacesharks:

dissypoo:

scientistsoldier:

airtrafficcontroller:

sadgaywerewolf:

dilhowltersboyfriend:

milkystreet:

australian-government:

reliquiaen:

AU where people age until they reach 18 and then stop aging until they meet their soul mate so they can grow old together.

i’d never die

but imagine already being in a relationship at 18 and then at 22 you’re both sitting there looking at each other and realizing that you both haven’t aged a day

imagine platonically moving in with ur best friend at 18 and then realizing a few years later that you’ve been aging together

imagine purposely never finding your soul mate so you can reign eternal

holy shit i think we may have stumbled upon the greatest romance/adventure concept ever

What if you killed your soul mate so you’d make sure you never aged.

This just makes me really want a story where the main antagonist is someone who has been killing their soulmate for centuries whenever they find them, and the main protagonist is the newly re-incarnated version of their soulmate

okay but you guys dont realize the potential.

imagine meeting a handsome young man who’s seen as a player and sleeps around a lot and you notice a scar along his arm and ask where he got it. he just look down at his feet and said “i used to be a soldier in world war one”. He’s been sleeping around and hooking up so much cause he’s been trying to find his soulmate for years but hasn’t yet.

Imagine going on your first date with someone and you really hit it off and then the next day you notice a grey hair and call them on the phone excitedly screaming and they both just sit on the phone hysterically crying and laughing.

Imagine sitting in silence with your partner and having them say out of the blue “i feel so old when im around you… but… in a good way” and thats the moment you know that they love you.

imagine having a dog thats 18 in human years and it starts to get gray patches of fur because they loves you so much.

imagine noticing you look older and freaking out but then stopping and getting super confused because “im not dating anyone right now…. which of my friends is my soulmate… WHICH ONE IS IT!?!?!?” and then they hopelessly date everyone they know in order to find out which one it fucking was. it was the pizza delivery guy the whole time. they went on 27 dates that all ended in confusion and heartbreak and it was the god damn pizza delivery guy from a month ago the whole fucking time. 

imagine someone dating their partner for 5 years and then having an affair. only after the affair do they start aging.

imagine nuns who start to age after they ceremoniously “marry god”

imagine people getting surgeries to look older cause they dont want people to think theyre alone.

imagine having parents who wont let you date anyone but they start to notice you aging and then you have to have a terrifying “surprise im gay and i have a boyfriend haha oops” conversation

imagine seeing couples with teenage kids and the couple both looks 18.

i could go on for hours.

imagine immortal aromantics/asexuals

(via punkrockpatroclus)

Ridiculous Sentence Prompts

toxixpumpkin:

• “Who wouldn’t be angry you ate all of my cereal and faked your death for three years!”
• “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ 
• "Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”
• “Fuck I feel like I got hit by a car… Wait I did? And it was your car?”
• “The skirt is short on purpose.”
• “I can’t believe I’m sitting in space jail with you of all people.”
• “So why did I have to punch that guy?”
• “I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.”
• “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”
• “Please stop petting the test subjects. ”
• “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”
• “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" 
• "So what if I broke my arm I’m still doing it.”
• “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”
• “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”
• “You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen.”
• “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”
• “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

(via ladymaliwan)

thebrassyopeningtoirresistible:

a list of aus for when your otp is really competitive 

• we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust
• we kind of got past the point of ‘taking this game of gay chicken too seriously’ when you took your pants off but I really do not mind at all. 
• I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event
• a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me
• you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um
• we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
• did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

(Source: stormsbreadth, via anacfranco)

Some more cute au’s for all your otp needs

tenlittlecock-writes:

qulcksilvers:

“We take a dance class together and our next routine calls for partnerwork, and we got put togeth-STop standing on my foot!” AU

“We live in adjacent apartments and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of a very thin wall and one night I heard you crying and talked to you through the wall” AU

“We live in adjacent apartments and one day I accidentally knocked a hole in the wall and into your living room I’m really sorry oh my god you’re naked” AU

“We’re both cosplayers and we somehow always manage to meet each other at cons dressed as a popular ship and people want photos of us in compromising positions and oops now we’re kissing” AU

“We sat next to each other during a really sad film and now we’re sharing tissues silently whilst we cry at the cinema” AU

“You and I both got arrested for holding up traffic to let a duck with ducklings cross the road and now we’re in the same holding cell” AU

“I was on my balcony playing music and you were walking past and stopped to listen because it’s your favourite band too” AU

“We bonded on the train through our mutual exasperation at another spiderman reboot” AU

“I work at a fruit store and you come in at almost every day and rearrange stuff on the shelves then leave, and we let you because it gives us something to do but today you made the apples spell” call me"“ AU

“I just came out of surgery and I’m convinced you’re my partner but you’re the just the long suffering (and super hot) trainee nurse” AU

oregonthefreelancer

99% of these = docnut

(Source: captanjamestkirk, via adelindschade)

friggassons:

because I’m tired of the ‘male love interest can’t navigate a kitchen to save his life bc apparently even microwaves are a menace to romantic leads’ trope - *squints at fsog* - I now present a list of culinary aus that I need as of right now:

• rival chefs au
• chef trying to impress this one picky food critic au
• “you said you would help me make dinner but now you’re criticising my onion chopping skills and when exactly did this turn into a not-so-friendly round of master chef???” au
• “when I questioned your ability to critique food I wasn’t expecting you to be this good at bullshit about the ‘flavour notes’ you detect and ‘spring-plucked plums’ and… wtf even is ‘umami’? shit this pretentious pedant thing might be a teeny bit hot” au
• NO RESERVATIONS AU
• “you simply happen to be the only foodie I know and so what if that means I occasionally blow off dates to check out that new French restaurant downtown with you it’s not like it means anything” au
• “yes, I am blackmailing you into wearing that novelty apron fite me” au
• “no, you can’t just make me dinner and think that will make it all better… but it wouldn’t hurt” au
• “when I said we should experiment with some chocolate sauce sexytimes I didn’t expect you to immediately bring out the double boiler! I mean, I have simple tastes, I could totally go pick up some Nesquik- alright, alright, I won’t mess with the ‘integrity’ of the thing bc wOW this is absolutely delicious and… babe of course I’m still into the whole sex part of the plan but is that a hint of chili I detect?!” au
• “I started singing 'feed me seymour’ and I’m not stopping until you either burst into song or make me a snack” au
• “what do you mEAN you bought a whole round of roquefort WHEN WOULD WE EVER NEED THAT MUCH CHEESE” au
• “bringing me leftovers of the meal you cooked with mY gourmet prosciutto does not negate thievery even if it was delicious. worst. roommate. ever.” au
• “so we may have set off the fire alarm. twice. and I know there’s a worrying amount of flour everywhere. but we made cupcakes together without killing each other and that’s the importan- nO OF COURSE WE DIDN’T MAKE OUT ok maybe a little” au
• COUPLES COOKING TOGETHER AUs

(via fuckyeahdarcylewis)

AUs for when your OTP are both assholes

jonahryan:

• You drive a massive SUV and steal my parking spot all the time and I was just heading out to leave a strongly worded note under your windshield wiper but oh no you’re hot AU
  
• I’m a barista and you’re the obnoxious customer who comes through and orders a venti macchiato while talking on the phone the whole time so I misspell your name in increasingly creative ways every day AU
• I’m a busy businessperson and my barista keeps misspelling my name in increasingly disrespectful ways, honestly, who does this person think they are AU
• We were both playing wingman for our friends who have now decided to go home together, and after five minutes of conversation we fucking hate each other, let’s bang it out AU
• I saw you trying to hit the “door close” button in the elevator but I made it in and then I pushed every single button to make you later for work, but now we’re stuck in this fucking elevator as it stops at every single floor and I don’t know what to say other than “you started it” AU
• I asked for your help getting a book off the top shelf and and you laughed at my taste and called me a nerd so I shoved you into a table of nonfiction best-sellers and that’s how we both got banned from the quirky community bookstore AU
• I take my grades very seriously and you’re the lazy asshole who asks a ton of off-topic questions to distract the professor and I might be a foot shorter than you but I swear to god I’ll fight you AU
• You tried to barge into a private conversation so I said something devastatingly witty and dismissive but you came back with something even meaner and more clever AU
• Shouting match over the last Thanksgiving turkey at the grocery store AU
  

(Source: jonlovett, via dubiousculturalartifact)

SEND ME A SHIP AND A NUMBER AND I’LL WRITE A SHORT FIC

ashaqueenasha:

molliehooper:

1. soulmates au
2. childhood best friends au
3. teacher/student au
4. teacher/single parent au
5. one night stand and falling pregnant au
6. meeting at a coffee shop au
7. fake relationship au
8. roommates au
9. meeting online au
10. high school popular kid/nerd au
11. partners in crime au
12. writer and editor au
13. co-stars au
14. lab partners au
15. meeting in the E.R/A&E au
16. brand new neighbours au
17. meeting at a party whilst drunk au
18. waking up with amnesia au
19. parents meeting when they take their kids to class au
20. dysfunctional relationship au
21. best friends sibling au 
22. two miserable people meeting at a wedding au
23. meeting on a train ride au
24. literally bumping into each other au
25. librarian/avid reader au
26. sitting on the same park bench au
27. meeting at a support group au
28. knocking on the wrong door au
29. going away to war au
30. tourist/knowledgeable local au
31. doctor/companion au
32. celebrity/fan au
33. meeting at a masquerade ball au
34. one of them trying to get the other one off of drugs au
35. living in a society where their love is taboo au
36. meeting in prison au
37. cop/person getting a speeding ticket au
38. long distance relationship au
39. exes meeting again after not speaking for years au
40. ghost/living person au
41. star-crossed lovers au
42. falling in love with their best friend’s partner au
43. one of them being diagnosed with a terminal illness au
44. pretending to hate each other au
45. nanny/single parent au
46. meeting at a festival au
47. meeting again at a high school reunion au
48. boss/intern au
49. going through a divorce au

(via dubiousculturalartifact)

alecdoesnotmakepie:

groanlester:

au where you have a stripe of your soulmates haircolor on your wrist and if they dye their hair your stripe changes colors

au where your vision is shades of your soulmates eyecolor so if they have blue eyes you see shades of blue and it stays that way until you meet them

au where you have a tattoo and it tells you what theyre most passionate about like drawing or grades

au where you have a tattoo and it tells you how old your soulmate will be when you meet

i really love soulmate au’s

#imagine the eye colour one but like opposite#so if your soulmates eyes are blue you can see every colour but blue#and then you meet for the first time and look into their eyes and see this new colour that you have only ever heard about in the stories#idk man

i love this omg

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

mythological creature AUs

pretzel-log1c:

daughterofscotland:

pretzel-log1c:

haimaee:

• “i just got turned into an incubus or a succubus and i’m like the least smooth and most self-conscious person on the planet so i’m literally starving because i don’t know how to seduce people” AU. BONUS POINTS IF THEY ARE A VIRGIN.
  
• “i’m a siren and i keep accidentally forgetting that i have roommates now and and end up putting them in my thrall when i’m singing taylor swift songs in the shower” AU
  
• “i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn” AU
  
• “i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO” AU
  
• “i’m a med student who has a huge crush on the hot guy who works at the coffee shop who always gives me free drinks when i’m stressed and calls me princess even though i pretend i think it’s annoying but i’m extremely concerned about him because he always smells like smoke so i always give him lectures about how terrible cigarettes are for you and i may have made a powerpoint which is probably excessive but lung health is extremely important and oops it turns out he’s part-dragon or something hahahaha oops” AU
  
• “my best friend got turned into a frog and now i’m being the best wingman/woman/person ever by carrying them around to bars and getting hot people to kiss them in hopes of hooking them up with their true love” AU
  
• “i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class” AU
  

daughterofscotland these sound fun.

I already have it in my likes actually XD

Ah, likes. I have about 26k+ likes now. I’m pretty sure i’m using the like feature wrong but oh well.

(via amusewithaview)