magpiesyousharply:

True story: I went to a shitty private highschool that was also a boarding school, which was attended by this kind of squishy pompous russian kid named Anatoliy. Anatoliy didn’t have much going for him socially in most regards, and most of the students mocked him overtly for his accent, as well as for his shoes (which were very ugly indeed). Most of the kids who’d get picked on just kind of accepted their assignations to the lowest grueling rung, but Anatoliy was not going to stand for this. Anatoliy had a plan.

One day, in US history, an argument arose about the constitution, which of course almost nobody had done the reading on. I was sitting across the room (facing the clock and the door, as always), and was therefore granted the unique pleasure of watching his ascension unfold. As the argument grew lengthier and more desperately convoluted, led by a few of the more egocentric jocks whose grades were most reliant on participation points, the rest of us, including the incompetent teacher, sat back in exasperation. Anatoliy, who in fact often participated in discussions, but never seriously (every statement was opened with “let me practice my english”), remained silent. He merely sat back and steepled his fingers, a faint smile creeping across his lips. 

As the dickwaving reached a fever pitch, he stood up and slammed his fist on the table. The room went DEAD SILENT. 

“ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG,” he proclaimed, and proceeded to extract a copy of the constitution of the united states of america from the inside breast pocket of his blazer, and read us the very passage that definitively answered the question that everyone had been arguing about.

The class went SILENT, and then roared with applause. Nobody ever disrespected that kid again.

(Source: madawhatever, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

gwylock1:

themediocregapfiller:

has this been done yet?

what the fuck this is so completely in character

(via lupinatic)

Tags: b99 laugh rule

jalceperalta:

sometimes it still amazes me that despite gifsets of scenes getting so many notes on tumblr thanks to it being a genuinely funny, unproblematic show, not a lot of people actually watch brooklyn nine-nine?? listen y’all if you’re tired of tv shows being misogynistic, racist, homophobic, and all around problematic then i honestly don’t understand why you have not seen the light by watching b99 like this show has made my life so much better!! i have TWO beautiful, badass, multi layered latina detectives to look up to, who are treated with respect and admiration by their male co-workers!! i have actual cinnamon roll jake peralta who has never done Anything Wrong in his life, despite being the white male main character; he always treats his women partners as equals, and is disgusted when other male side characters say misogynistic things!! i have captain raymond holt, a black, gay police CAPTAIN who has worked his entire life to move past prejudice to get to where he is!! his sexuality is not used as the butt of ANY joke, but is simply just another part of his multi layered character, and he is shown to have a healthy relationship with his husband!! the most important relationship on this show?? the relationship between all of them, whether in duos/trios/or a whole squad, focusing on how despite how different they all are, they all love each other and have made a family out of such a group!! it also has no chill, talking about real police issues, how women have to stick together, and taking usual stereotypes and stomping all over them!! there’s no need to worry about characters being killed off for shock value or to cause manpain!! honestly there is absolutely nothing wrong with this show: it is genuinely funny, the characters are lovable, the relationships realistic and healthy, and it deserves  much  more recognition than it’s getting. 

tldr; watch brooklyn-nine nine. you will not regret it.

(via youfightlikemysister)

Tags: b99