So because I like Dying and Being Dead, I was talking to @lathori about how every universe needs more time loop AU’s (like Groundhog Day but with more murder, given the kind of things I like), and that sort of led into her being like “Well, come up with a few then, be the content you want to see in the world,” and naturally the first thing I came up with since I’m rereading The Captive Prince was an AU where Laurent’s life resets every time he or Damen dies.  Soooo…this is the first loop.


Laurent is drunk when the doors open and the slave is marched through.  It is possible that this does dangerous things to his judgement.

He looks at the slave, dressed in the brief silks of his barbarian homeland with his face ornamented with gold paint.  The collar and chain are anything but decorative, and the slave’s carefully blank expression does not hide the revulsion in his eyes.

The slave is broad through his shoulders and trim through the waist, with the muscles of a soldier and a handsome face under the black curls.  Sharp jaw, full mouth, dark eyes that gleam under a strong brow. A scar, ragged and bold even in comparison to the others littering the slave’s body, rests at his shoulder.

Laurent feels something strike his chest, like being slammed with an open palm and pinned to the ground, and the room seems to vanish from around him.  All he hears is a ringing in his ears, and all he sees is the man in front of him, being pushed to his knees with a look of raw, hot hatred flashing over his face.  Laurent sympathizes.

He stands and walks forward, stops just paces from the Akeilon, and savors the words on his tongue.

“I knew the King of Akeilos had sent me a gift,” Laurent says, almost a purr, the most seductive voice he can put on.  He tilts his head, lets his hair fall away from his face and throat, summons every scrap of his brother’s proud nobility that he can touch.  “But I didn’t think even the barbarian king would send me his own brother, shackled and painted like a common whore.”

There’s a beat of silence, shock radiating palpably from the courtiers and guards.  Laurent and Prince Damianos stare each other down.

Damianos surges to his feet, shrugging off the guards, and Laurent moves.

His hand closes around a blade hidden in the stiff material of his collar, draws, and thrusts it unerringly into Damianos’ exposed throat.  Skin parts like silk, flesh like water.  Blood gushes out in a fountain over Laurent’s hands, the gleaming dark eyes wide as the Akeilon’s bound hands make an aborted grab for his throat.  Laurent drops to the floor with him, kneeling over Damianos as blood pools and stains their clothing.  Damianos jerks and shudders under Laurent’s hands, gasping, blood bursting red over his lips and tongue as if he’s been eating berries, or pomegranates.

The triumph that burns in Laurent’s chest is as hot and sick-making as the grief that floored him when they brought Auguste’s body back.  He revels in it.

He feels the moment Damianos dies, the sudden shivering loss of tension, and Laurent—

Laurent is drunk when the doors open.

“Hey buddy! Wanna help me do something stupid?”

outofcontextdnd:

-The Swashbuckler, running full speed at his buddy.

(via lathori)

Anonymous asked: Okay, so with this new Vision 'verse, how does Padme fit in later? Is Shmi all about this girl and when they first meet weirdly attached to this baby senator? Is Obi-Wan also weirdly attached, or is he conflicted because this woman caused his padawan to form Attachments? And lastly, we have Anakin. Fully-remembering-bad-timeline Anakin. How does he act around her, knowing that in another timeline he killed her and she had his children?

suzukiblu:

words-writ-in-starlight:

suzukiblu:

hamelin-born:

suzukiblu:

Shmi is definitely all about her and definitely weirdly attached. Obi-Wan is … weirdly CONCERNED, more than anything else, but also attached because yeah, it’s not Padmé’s fault Anakin went Dark Side, Sidious would’ve just found some other way to get into his head. She didn’t handle everything perfectly, but neither did HE, so it’s not like he’s got a damn leg to stand on. 

Anakin, now. Anakin is gonna be the concerning thing. Because I know you all think this is gonna be awkward hilarity but honestly? Honestly? LOOK, WE’VE COME THIS FAR WITHOUT ANGST, GUYS, AND GODDAMN IF I’M GONNA LET DOWN THE SIDE AND MAKE A FLUFF-ONLY AU WHEN I’VE GOT THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO RUIN LITERALLY EVERYONE’S LIVES. 

“Are you alright?” Padmé asks softly, ducking under the table just enough to clearly see the little boy hiding underneath it. Rabé and Captain Panaka and the others are in the throne room with the Jedi, still, but when she saw the unfamiliar boy peering in from the doorway and then fleeing in alarm the moment he was noticed, she couldn’t just leave him alone. “You’re not from the palace. Are you lost?” 

The boy lets out another cracked little sob, and huddles back against the wall. 

Anakin crying is usually the signal for Shmi and Obi-Wan to descend on whatever the fuck made their (padawan son child brother Anakin) upset with the fury of a thousand impassioned demons. I can’t help but see them bursting into the room, screaming something along the lines of ‘ALL RIGHT JERKFACE PREPARE TO DIE - oh Miss Naberrie, we didn’t see you there, so sorry about the accidental threats is Anakin okay?!’

Padmé is SO CONFUSED and also kind of instinctively wants to stab the people who burst in and scared the boy even worse, except then the boy runs right to them and hides behind Master Skywalker’s robes while Knight Kenobi crouches down to wipe away his tears and fret over him, so–he came with them, then? She didn’t see him earlier, and she isn’t sure how else he could’ve gotten into the palace. But also, why on EARTH would the Jedi bring a boy this young on a MISSION? She thinks she’s insulted, if that’s how seriously the Order is taking the plight of her people.  

And his robes do look a little Jedi-ish, she supposes, now that she can see them better. He has an unusual little braid tucked behind his right ear that Knight Kenobi is tugging on as he whispers to him, and she SWEARS that’s a Jedi thing, isn’t it, doesn’t it mean … something? It’s some kind of identifier or another–she’s sure of THAT, at least. She wishes she’d had more time to read up on Jedi before they’d come, but obviously the situation was not ideal for that. 

She does wish it, though. Maybe she wouldn’t have frightened him so, if she’d been able to. 

OKAY I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS TO COME UP.

Like, Anakin is still in love with Padme, I assume.  His nine-year-old/ancient/forty-something brain is all tangled up with itself and with the Force (slightly more benignly tangled up than last time, so, like…there’s that), but it’s still tangled up around the fact that Padme is the sun and stars.  No, say better, Padme is space and holds all other things within herself and Anakin is in love with her like he’s in love with lungs, okay.  

But.

Once upon a time, in another galaxy, far from now, he kills her.  

And he’s coped all right with that, he’s at least reasonably okay, not least because, um, Shmi and Obi-Wan are probably not here for the stoic Jedi act, certainly not in wee little Baby Space Jesus/Possible Space Antichrist (pretty sure this makes Palpatine the Devil, right, that seems accurate).

So they go to Naboo and Anakin is going to be fine, all right, even if it kills him, he’s going to be fine, and besides they need him to fly the mission on the droid ship, so it’s going to be fine, it’s going to be fine, it’s going to be–

Padme walks into the room, handmaidens in tow.

Anakin is not going to be fine.

PAIN EVERYWHERE i love pain i’ve been waiting with bated breath for this ever since this au started BECAUSE THERE’S ALL THESE FUCKING TIME TRAVEL AU’S AND NONE WHERE ANAKIN COMES BACK AND FLIES INTO THE WORST PANIC ATTACK IN HISTORY THE SECOND PADME IS WITHIN HIS LINE OF SIGHT LOOK THIS KID IS GOING TO HAVE _ISSUES_ OF THE FIRST DEGREE AND I GODDAMN WELL EXPECT ONE OF THEM TO BE ‘I LOVE THIS WOMAN MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD AND I KILLED HER I DID THAT’ ‘I CAN’T LIVE WITH THIS’ basically torture i like to torture myself and everyone else and especially anakin

Anakin is always in love with Padmé. If I am writing an Anakin that is not in love with Padmé, it’s because he hasn’t met her yet, and EVEN THAT IS NOT A GUARANTEE, AS THIS AU SHOULD PROVE. He’s also very definitely nine, though. He’s seen visions of being older–MUCH older–but he is very DEFINITELY nine, and he doesn’t always remember all of the visions at once. Part of him is vaguely aware that Padmé dies and that it’s his fault, but most of him is caught up in how much he LOVES her, he LOVES her, she is so much, she is so many things, she is EVERYTHING and he LOVES her. 

He’ll be fine, though. He loves her but this time she’s not gonna love HIM, he’s already decided he’ll stay away from her so she can be safe. His mom told him okay, if he had to, and Obi-Wan looked relieved, but he doesn’t think either of them really believed him. But he IS gonna stay away. He’ll be small and uninteresting and he won’t say anything weird to her or do anything to make her remember him, and then she’ll have ten years to forget him and he just won’t go on the bodyguard mission, his mom and Obi-Wan can do that, they’ll be strong enough. And it’ll be safe. So he loiters back in the doorway and hides, and makes himself small and unimportant in the Force so no one pays him any mind. 

But it’s been so long, he forgot that Padmé was the kind of person who never missed anyone, no matter how small or unimportant. 

Tags: worst vision ever au star wars padme amidala anakin skywalker oh god but that's almost worse???? because he loves her and he's so determined to have nothing to do with her because he dimly remembers trying the other way trying to keep her close and keep her protected and keep her safe and he doesn't remember exactly how that ended but he remembers the feeling at the end of it the feeling that someone had reached in and scooped out all his soft parts--his liver his lungs his HEART and that has always belonged to padme so of course however that ended something happened to her it was his fault and something HAPPENED TO HER and that's all he really knows so this time...no contact right? he'll just stay in the back of the room and he can love quietly he remembers how to do that so he wraps himself up in the force until he's like the memory of a whisper of wind and yet somehow... somehow she still sees him sees him trying to fade away until he's needed (because he still needs to take out the droid ship because he's still the best pilot they've got) and he forgot how she could do that how she could look through any disguise and see the person underneath maybe it's because she spends so much time as amidala beneath the mask of paint and oh no he didn't plan for this he didn't plan for her to come toward him like he's a frightened animal slow and quiet and calming and hopeful he didn't plan for HER to come to HIM she doesn't know him doesn't love him shouldn't trust him and he doesn't know what to do now so he watches her with wide wide eyes and shakes between the urge to run (the urge to protect padme has always burned like survival) and the urge to throw himself into her arms

the world's oldest ship war

  • Aeschylus: Achilles goes on top.
  • Plato: No; definitely Patroclus.
  • Xenophon: They were just friends.
  • Plato: Shut up, Xenophon.
  • Aeschines: It's practically canon.
  • Aristarchus: I know it looks canon, but Homer didn't write that - someone added it later.
  • Shakespeare: It's canon.

feistiest:

i’ve been thinking about why exactly i’m so attached to the story of icarus, the boy who’s been used again and again to teach us a lesson about hubris; the boy we were told as disobedient, as prideful, as reckless, as ignorant; the boy we’ve been warned to never follow, as if we did, we would end up burning our own wings and drowning in the sea along with him. i looked at the various texts and translations about his story, searching over and over for what it was that made me so drawn to it.

and then it hit me: icarus was told to not fly too high, nor to fly too low. he was told to remain in the middle, to follow his father’s path of flight—because daedalus knew of what it was like out there, of how cruel the world can be to dreamers, and he wanted his son to be wary of it. it reminded me of how parents are like nowadays (or, really, are like since the beginning of time): of how they say “dream big, but not too big”; of how they tell children to not get their hopes up too high; of how they remind their child to be realistic; of how they warn and they caution and they forcefully plant our feet on the ground and make sure our roots grow thick enough beneath it to hold us firmly down.

it’s understandable, if not twisted, the way they’re protecting us. because while it’s true, most of the time it leads to crushed dreams, dampened hopes, watered down ideas. it leads to the acceptance of things as it is, and not of things as they could be; it steals our idealism and turns it into doubt, into disbelief, into hopelessness.

maybe that’s why i’m very fond of icarus; because the thought of having this boy reach for the sky, for the sun, for the exhilaration of his freedom by going through such extreme lengths tells me a story of hope, not hubris. it tells me the story of a boy who was willing to risk everything for what he desperately wanted, it tells me the story of a boy who had the nerve to grasp at the liberation he craved, it tells me the story of a boy who loved so much he let himself be consumed by its violent, brutal wake.

and if icarus dared enough to chase after his dream, then let me burn along with him.

(via dyinghistoric)

bemusedlybespectacled:

slythwolf:

it was a fanfic that made me realize this but.

so the stormtroopers right. if they think u didnt fire ur blaster they inspect it & if you didnt they send you for reconditioning.

maybe. thats why. they never. HIT. anything.

they dont want to be punished but they dont really want to hurt anybody.

maybe.

DUDE

(via ailleee)

"If someone comes to you and asks your help, you shall not turn him off with pious words, saying, “Have faith and take your troubles to God!” You shall act as if there were no God, as if there were only one person in all the world who could help this man–only yourself."

—Rabbi Moshe Leib of Sassov (via shiraglassman)

You don’t expect to hear a rabbi say “act as if there were no God” and mean not “do whatever you feel like doing” but “recognize that the ultimate responsibility for doing good in the world lies with you.”  I kind of love this.

(via animatedamerican)

#religion #… I mean if anyone were going to say ‘act as if there were no god’ to mean ‘it’s all on you mate’ #it would be a rabbi (via thetrollingchaos)

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

bethanyactually:

lynewt:

prokopetz:

morkaischosen:

prokopetz:

I love the phrase “what the entire fuck” because it implies that there exists some scenario that warrants only a “what the partial fuck”.

Similarly “what the actual fuck,” implying “what the figurative fuck” or “what the imaginary fuck”.

“What the actual fuck” is an interesting one because “actual” has so many distinct shades of meaning.

“Entire” generally means “whole” or “complete”, but depending on the particular context, “actual” can denote any or all of “real”, “literal”, “concrete”, “truthful”, “grounded” or “factual”.

Thus, when deriving the contrastive phrase, in addition to “what the imaginary fuck” and “what the figurative fuck”, we could also reasonably arrive at “what the hypothetical fuck”, “what the fraudulent fuck”, “what the fanciful fuck” or “what the counterfactual fuck”.

Language is fun!

@blackmelange Feeling the need for a little variety.

Ooh, what about “what the everloving fuck”? “Everloving” could mean “faithful” or “devoted”, so that implies “what the faithless fuck” or “what the indifferent fuck”.

(via primarybufferpanel)

cephalopodqueen:

earthschampion:

kryptons-last-son:

notadamsellane:

hatingongodot:

Before she learns about his secret identity, Lois Lane thinks Clark Kent is a goddamn mess

She goes to his place to work on a joint article and it takes her like half an hour to find out that Clark lives in an absolutely nonfunctional house

She has to change a lightbulb but there are no stools, no sufficiently high chairs, no way of reaching the ceiling unless you find a way to climb the walls. “How the hell do you change your bulbs?” she asks. Clark mutters something about misplacing the footstool and helps her drag the table from the kitchen to the living room.

Lois watches Clark make lasagna and has to physically restrain him from pulling the tray out of the oven with his bare hands. “Are you out of your goddamn MIND?” she yells, scrambling to pull him away on time. “What are you DOING? WHERE ARE THE OVEN MITTS?” and Clark is just like “Right…..oven mitts…….. I think I lost them with the uh. footstool” both he and Lois pause for a moment to engage in a riveting game of Mentally Punch Clark

Lois runs into the bathroom to put on a disguise and yells out, “Where do you keep your razor?” There’s a gust of wind and Clark comes back with slightly windswept hair. “I got it!” he says with unwarranted triumph. “It’s right here. The razor I use.” Lois looks at it and it is CLEARLY recently purchased and never used and she’s just like. I don’t even care anymore

For weeks she just assumes Clark is missing some crucial element in his home and starts stacking her own things all over the place. Lois thinking Clark has no clue how to take care of himself while Clark is Eternally Tormented and has to find ways to keep his identity a secret while living in close quarters, and the slow burn mutual pining roommates AU of my dreams begins

Oh my god this is amazingly awesome! Yes please lol

Lol! Omg, yes!!

I literally can’t stop laughing at the lasagna scene, oh my god! LOL

@kookygeekpalace this seems like something that’d be in your fic

(via wildehack)

mythological creature AUs

pretzel-log1c:

daughterofscotland:

pretzel-log1c:

haimaee:

  • “i just got turned into an incubus or a succubus and i’m like the least smooth and most self-conscious person on the planet so i’m literally starving because i don’t know how to seduce people” AU. BONUS POINTS IF THEY ARE A VIRGIN.
  • “i’m a siren and i keep accidentally forgetting that i have roommates now and and end up putting them in my thrall when i’m singing taylor swift songs in the shower” AU
  • “i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn” AU
  • “i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO” AU
  • “i’m a med student who has a huge crush on the hot guy who works at the coffee shop who always gives me free drinks when i’m stressed and calls me princess even though i pretend i think it’s annoying but i’m extremely concerned about him because he always smells like smoke so i always give him lectures about how terrible cigarettes are for you and i may have made a powerpoint which is probably excessive but lung health is extremely important and oops it turns out he’s part-dragon or something hahahaha oops” AU
  • “my best friend got turned into a frog and now i’m being the best wingman/woman/person ever by carrying them around to bars and getting hot people to kiss them in hopes of hooking them up with their true love” AU
  • “i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class” AU
daughterofscotland these sound fun.

I already have it in my likes actually XD

Ah, likes. I have about 26k+ likes now. I’m pretty sure i’m using the like feature wrong but oh well.

(via amusewithaview)