SUDDENLY
lying awake sick
then suddenly think
THE PRINCESS BRIDE
ONLY QUEER
#the dread pirate roberts leaves no survivors #a farmgirl poor and perfect with eyes like the sea after a storm #we are women of action such lies do not become us #i want my mother back you son of a bitch
“My way is not very ladylike!” Fezzik exclaimed to herself, her hands resting on hips wider than some carthorses and her baritone voice rumbling with surprised displeasure.
If I ever get to do a theater production of anything ever, this is what I’m doing.
Prince Humperdinck can stay male and *maybe* Count Reuben but everyone else? A lady.
Wesley? A lady. Buttercup? Definitely.
Inigo, Fezzik, Vizzini, Miracle Max, the goddamn Albino - I don’t care.
Inigo is a gorgeous trans lady who unknowingly leaves a trail of admirers in her wake because she’s too focused on her revenge to notice.
Fezzik really is originally from Greenland (and is Kalalliit, specifically)
(who’s okay with the idea of Gwendoline Christie as Wesley?)
Otherwise the story is exactly the same, down to individual lines of dialogue.
#my name is ingo montoya#you killed my mother#prepare to die#‘it seems the man in black is actually a woman in black. that mask covers quite a lot’#‘who CARES just kill her with your sword!’#‘i’ll use small words so you’ll understand you warthog-faced buffoon’#‘that may be the first time in my life a woman has DARED insult me.’#‘and it won’t be the last.’#fezzik: ‘i’’m on the brute squad’ soldier: ‘you ARE the brute squad’#‘i swear on the soul of my mother dominica montoya - you will reach the top alive’#of course#this would make the constant censoring of the kissing scenes about 50x more frustrating#oh#and the kid and the grandpa? female now#you can’t stop me#The Princess Bride @the-tao-of-fandom
(via yea-lets-do-this-shit)
