WHO WANTS TO GIVE ME $50000
Anonymous asked: Is your magical gf's thing from your fantasy book? Sorry if this seems rude but I am like SO invested in your novels from what you've given us.
NEVER RUDE NEVER RUDE NEVER RUDE
ALWAYS TALK TO ME ABOUT MY NOVELS
And yes, my magical gf’s are from one of my fantasy novels, which I generally call Alleirat because I’m a lazy fuck who doesn’t title things until the last available second. This novel is also called the “Earth is where the trouble comes from” book, which sums it up pretty well. The Very Tall Tree Person is the right hand woman of the main character, and the Smol Death Machine…um, starts the novel as the bad guy buT IT’S A NOVEL ABOUT REDEMPTION AND IT’S NOT HER FAULT AND I LOVE HER V MUCH.
Anyway, for those of you who don’t know what’s going on: THIS is a basic rundown of the story, and THIS is some basic outlining of the way magic works, and this and this are about the couple in question. The novel is currently like 35K and I’m doing it for Camp NaNoWriMo.
And like, IDK y’all I feel guilty forcing my weird original stuff on you, but if you’re interested I could post a section I wrote yesterday that I’m…pretty pleased with.
wildehacked asked: Marco/Rachel + "Jerry Springer, not Casablanca".
(I like your setup for these so I’m stealing it)
AO3 summary: It’s not a gin joint and it doesn’t belong to him and she’s not the love of his life. Some days he’s not even sure they’re friends. They fuck anyway. (PWminimalP, Angst, Longer War AU, Unsafe Insane and Consensual, Light Bondage, Blood)
Actual summary: It’s about year six of a war that burned them all out about year three. They’ve managed to keep their secret through increasingly brutal means over the years. Rachel and Cassie haven’t spoken except on missions since Rachel killed a member of the Yeerk Peace Movement in order to keep them from giving the Animorphs up. Jake looks like the walking dead and hasn’t smiled–really smiled–since they failed to save Jake’s parents. Tobias is less human than ever since Rachel left him, and morphs Ax more often than he morphs his old body (his old body is barely fourteen, glaringly young among the others).
Marco and Rachel aren’t dating. Marco is still their tactician and their sense of humor, but their sense of humor is bitter and cutting, and when Rachel kisses him, she bites until his lips bleed and ties his hands with rough cord, he fights her and leaves bruises and cuts. They don’t have a safeword. Rachel needs to feel in control and Marco needs to feel like he’s not the one guiding Jake’s hand on the trigger. It’s a bad system, but God they need it and if anything happens…well, they can just morph it away, and wash each others’ blood from their hands.
Passing thought, I really love the David trilogy. Like. I could literally talk for hours about how much I love the development of every single character over the course of those three books and about how beautifully they showcase the fact that the Animorphs actually work incredibly well as a team and about how David is a shining example of how the Ellimist really DID stack the deck making sure it was EXACTLY those six people who went to war and about how it’s one of the few times where, purely by contrast, we’re reminded that the Animorphs might be a bunch of teenagers, but they are a stone-cold strike team that’s really stunningly good at their job.
Literally hours.
I could flip open one of those books and point to a random paragraph and talk about how much that particular paragraph is fantastic until I was hoarse, I guarantee it.
An open letter of advice to those of you living with roommates: if, say, you have one roommate who usually does the dishes, that’s fine. However, if you can no longer physically FIT dishes in the sink, it’s maybe time to act outside your habitual role and wash that bad boy your own self. If, hypothetically, the dish-doing roommate is attempting to finish a thesis and has therefore not eaten a meal that wasn’t takeout or microwaved in a few days, maybe you could really live life on the edge and do more than one dish yourself.
Just a thought.
kashinoha asked: #70. (67%) with Hardison/Parker/Eliot!
From this ancient prompt list, because I am the worst and it took me forever to get around to this. I just want everyone to be proud of me because I almost went somewhere REALLY terrible with this prompt. Because the last episode of Leverage fucked me all the way up and I remain vengeful about that. That near miss will be obvious.
The con had unraveled at light speed. Things had gone south almost as quickly as the time Leverage Incorporated had stolen the maquettes of the David, leaving Parker scrambling to adapt their plan and salvage as much as possible. They’d managed to get the files that would prove their target responsible a fistful of deaths revolving around tainted eggs, but now Eliot’s earbud was fried.
Well. He thought it was fried—admittedly he hadn’t devoted a lot of time to checking in more detail. Between the black eye swelling on his face (bone undamaged, bruising unlikely to occlude vision), the blood seeping into his jeans from a nasty knife cut to his thigh (missed the artery, unlikely to prove lethal, would inhibit full range of motion) and the four cracked-hopefully-not-broken ribs impeding his breathing (another hit would shatter them along the fissures) and, naturally, the fact that he was tied to a chair (efficiently, they had practice), the earbud had taken low priority. If it was fried, he was going to murder Hardison with his bare hands, assuming he got out of this with both hands intact.
Also assuming that the others got out of this to be murdered, of course, which was never a certainty when someone had the forethought to take their hitter out of the equation. Eliot almost would have been reassured if the target’s hired muscle (most of them half-decent, with a small command structure of better trained mercs) was busy torturing him, because if they were occupied with him, the others would have time to get out. Instead, they had managed to knock him out with a hard blow to the head (mild concussion, vertigo manageable for motion) and left him here alone, tied up and out of play. But he was trying not to think about that, because if he thought too hard about the kind of disaster that could befall Hardison and Parker when he wasn’t there to take the hit for them, he got a little lightheaded (possibly the concussion, more probably a mild anxiety response). So the dead earbud had to take a back burner to getting the fuck out of here and finding the other sixty-seven percent of Leverage International.
NOTHING TO SEE HERE. JUST SIX RAPTORS CHILLIN’ ON A BRANCH TOGETHER.
PS — Marco is the osprey on the left if anyone was wondering.
(via chromatographic)
My mom has just said she doesn’t believe asexuals can be in a happy non-sexual relationship/marriage because sex is an important part of a relationship.
So Reblog if you think asexuals can be in a happy non-sexual relationship. And if you are a asexual in a happy non-sexual relationship, please let me know so I can tell her that it is possible.
I would say that intimacy is an important part of a relationship, physical as well as emotional, but there are plenty of ways to be physically intimate that aren’t sex, what the fuck.
(Source: the-ailing-system, via windbladess)
Stealth History Lesson
I’m still watching Liberty’s Kids because REASONS and I watched an episode with Baron von Steuben, and I get why they didn’t include this in a kid’s show, but this dude is THE BEST PART of the winter at Valley Forge.
LET ME TELL YOU WHY, WITH ABUSE OF CAPS LOCK AND BAD LANGUAGE AND IRREVERENCE.
Okay, some background. Baron von Steuben was a Prussian baron who shipped his ass over to America in 1777 in order to help Washington whip the bunch of random farmers, miners, tradesmen, etc who formed the Continental ‘Army’ at the time into shape. He reached Valley Forge in early 1778 (after almost getting his own soldiers ARRESTED IN BOSTON because he accidentally outfitted them in red coats, honestly this dude’s life is just PRIME HISTORICAL COMEDY MATERIAL, someone get the fuck on that) and immediately made a name for himself as a complete–but effective!–wackjob. He would go outside in the middle of winter in full military dress and have all the soldiers (many of whom were lacking a coat and boots at the time, because the goddess of efficiency Martha Washington had not yet made her presence known) run drills from sunup to sundown, whereas most military commanders of the day were Pointedly Uninvolved in the messy day-to-day shit. He also continued the trend of having commanders who were still learning English (Lafayette spoke almost no English upon his arrival, for example), because when von Steuben reached America he spoke zero English and had to write all his orders in French and give them to either HIS aide de camp to translate or the aide Washington periodically lent him (fun fact: Lt. Colonols Hamilton and Laurens were his usual lent-out aides because they both spoke French).
NOW YOU HAVE SOME BACKGROUND AND WE CAN GET TO THE GOOD STUFF.
If “Do You Hear The People Sing” doesn’t fill you with righteous revolutionary fervor, then I don’t know what you’re doing wrong.
But you’re definitely doing SOMETHING wrong.
(Source: dreamlordmorpheus, via enjolrarses)
