@boykeats-is either very hipster, very punk, or a mix of both
-has written at least one poem about judas iscariot
-probably has strong opinions on mary magdalene too
-tries not to be salty (is still a little salty sometimes)
-probably real pissed off about how the book of Job ends
(via millennialgospel)
jesus could absolutely, unequivocally beat the shit out of richard dawkins. i’m not saying he would, just that he absolutely could. like, round one knockout, whole fight uploaded to vine, embarrassing. dawkins’ feeble, mortal body crumbling to the mat. he finally saw jesus, but never saw those hands coming. richard dawkins searching for god while he’s in la-la land. no fucking chance for old man honeyjars. down for the count as the entire arena converts to christianity on the spot
the greatest excerpt of our generation
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
For every 1,000 bad messages I get on okc, I get one good one.
i love it tbh
Update: he’s my boyfriend now, we’re in love, it’s a whole thing.
BEST. UPDATE. EVER.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
imo he was being super salty about that tendency guys have to blame their anatomy for their bad choices
it’s like “oh i don’t want to be a creepo but my dick has a mind of its own” “well here’s a scissors fix your life”
or maybe, you know, have some damn respect, and don’t pretend you don’t have a choice of whether to be nasty
i think people have a tendency to take jesus literally when he was actually throwing shade, or to take things in this really smarmy martyrish way when they’re actually pretty snippy
i mean “turn the other cheek” sounds like being a doormat until you picture how it would play out: someone smacks you, and you turn and go “do it again, go on, take a swing buddy, does that make you feel better, do you feel like a winner now?” cuz you know what 90% of the time they will get curled up shame toes and shuffle off
tl;dr: no jesus did not actually want you to take a spoon to your eyeballs for babe watching, he wanted you to take responsibility for how you treat people
All of the actions Jesus told his followers to perform are actually passive-aggressive actions meant to oppose and resist Jerusalem’s Roman colonizers. Like, turning the other cheek is actually a matter of forcing the Roman to either break proper slapping etiquette or to hit you properly- thereby treating you as an equal instead of someone he’s subjugating. If a debtor is taking all your possessions in court, you include the shirt off your back so his greed is causing you to commit public nudity. And when a soldier forces you to carry his equipment (as per the law of the time), you go the extra mile with him- literally carrying his bag beyond the distance that the law stipulates and therefore making the action illegal.
Context matters.
(Source: ithelpstodream, via windbladess)
i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake
fabulous
i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.
(via ofgeography)
the best story i think i’ve ever heard at a party was from this ex-Lutheran who was absolutely shitfaced and told us all about the origins of Lutherism bc it’s so??? incredible??? apparently martin luther was this like twenty-one year old college student and atheist (of course) and he’s walking home during this thunderstorm, just soaking wet, miserable, probably cussing out the god he supposedly doesn’t believe in, and he gets struck by lightning, which, obviously, sucks. he’s probably pissed as hell because he’s miraculously alive but also probably in a lot of pain, probably cursing god’s name yet again, and he gets struck by lightning a second time like??? What the fuck!!! how unlucky is that!! and so now he’s running for a forest to hide underneath the trees, once again furious at god, and he gets struck by lightning for the third time!!! so he finally makes it to the trees, probably crispy as hell, exhausted and in pain and he drops to his knees and says basically “god, please, for fucks sake, stop hitting me with lightning. I swear if you leave me alone i’ll go to a monastery and become a monk and re-invent this religion i guess but please just leave me alone” and he’s not struck by lightning again so he becomes a monk like??? i’m not Lutheran so i don’t know how accurate this drunk re-telling is but i believe it whole-heartedly and have gained a healthy respect for the wrath of god
like. I love theology discussions, but I love my brand of theology discussions. highlights include:
- top 5 punishments from back when God was fun
- Jesus and the disciples were a bunch of punk ass kids and that’s awesome
- yes, I fully stand by the fact that I just called Jesus punk. Jesus was totally punk.
- fuck every single author that portrays Satan as a revolutionary. Satan is a child throwing a temper tantrum and I have no patence for him
- let me tell you every single detail of exactly how I think the Christ story would play out in modern day
- reasons why I am crying over Judas Iscariot right now at this exact moment
- the Bible may not have said Adam and Steve, but it definitely said David and Johnathon
- the fall of humanity was inevitable and God’s fault for making us so damn curious. it would have happened with or without Eve. leave your sexism at the door.
- I want to bring Peter to a modern Catholic Mass because he would recognize literally nothing about the church he started
- angels are horrifying creatures and I want to have sex with one
(via lathori)
God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
(via millennialgospel)
Vodka Tia Moran
