Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

Things I have said while playing Dragon Age: Inquisition so far, as recorded by my flatmate

the-queen-of-thedas:

thefastestclockintheuniverse:

thefastestclockintheuniverse:

thefastestclockintheuniverse:

- You can’t stop me, I can jump wherever I want

- Well that was rude

- Hey boys

- Oh shit, fuck

- Fucking shades I hate you

- Please someone stop me from burning to death that would be marvellous

- Oh fuck goddamn

- Why are there so many damn shades I really fucking hate shades

- What are we doing kids?? Are we all dying like i am??

- If I die then we’ll know we did the wrong thing

- Why are you Welsh?? You’re a bloody elf that doesn’t make any sense!

- Shut the fuck up you sexy dwarf

- Fucking Welsh elves, telling me what to do

- (Manic laughter, strawberry lace dangling out of mouth)

- Sorry I made you jump off a tower

- Yes let’s kill them all (giggles) dead. Death death death.

More things I have said while playing DA:I: Fallow Mire Edition

- Bastarding marsh zombies (sings) I’ll kill you all with fire, and then who will be laughing, IT WILL BE ME 

- Oh great a walking bastard

- (Sings) I don’t want to do this at all, there are so many, this sucks ass 

- Ok we’re gonna try a new tactic boys, we’re gonna run like the blazes 

- Well done boys, we got through that by running blindly 

- Eugh there are so many zombies and I can’t be bothered to fight them all (sings) even though she would win, let’s face it, she is the best 

- OH SHIT I FELL IN THE MARSH 

- (Sings) let’s just run, zombies can’t run, their legs are dead (pause) OH SHIT WAIT THEY CAN 

- Got him, now he’s double dead 

- Oh good, here come the zombies, (sings) DO DO DO DOOOOO 

- I’m going to be honest with you bubs, I need to play AT LEAST 7 more hours of dragon age today 

- Oh good, a RAGE demon (sings) just to shake things up a little bit 

- (Sings) everyone come down and help me please, cause I am fucking dying

- OH MY GOD LET ME BURN THEM

- Why are you guys fighting from here, when I’m down in a fucking pit?! …fucking morons 

- Why the PISS am I on fire?!

Final update because this has got out of hand but I also can’t shut my mouth while playing

ahh solus you fool, i can play you like a fiddle

(chants) cut scene cut scene CUT SCENE CUT SCENE

fuck you solus i didn’t invite you

I WANT TO FIGHT THE DEMONS (…) wait do I?

(sings) In the mountain, the scary mountain, the dwarves are getting dressed… what are they wearing, they look so cool, and i want to look my best

Look at his stupid hat! …i love him

why yes i WILL loot your body

LETS. GO. THERE’S A FUCKING DRAGON LADS.

This is the best thing I have ever read

(via lathori)

factsinallcaps:

THEDAS, THE WORLD OF VIDEO GAME SERIES “DRAGON AGE,” WAS ACTUALLY NAMED BASED ON AN ACRONYM FROM THE BIOWARE FORUMS: “THE D.A.S.” WHICH IS SHORT FOR “THE DRAGON AGE SETTING.”

thehightomtitty:

fivecentsless:

Game: You need to be about level 20 to defeat this boss!

Me: oh geez I better go do some grinding

Me, two weeks later overleveled by 80, returning to the boss: I’m your god now

Game: You need to be about level 20 to defeat this boss!

My level 2 ass who is about to have a come-to-Jesus meeting: that is just a recommendation right?

I am both of these people.

(via clockwork-mockingbird)

amusewithaview asked: DRAGON AGE MR. AND MRS. SMITH AU OMG WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT. I mean, my brain immediately goes to Leliana/Zevran, which, no, because I broship them. BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE ROGUE!PURPLE!HAWKE/ZEVRAN Mr. and Mrs. Smith AU??? Where Zevran and Hawke meet during Hawke's first year in Kirkwall as a mercenary/smuggler and then they have this awkward long-distance courtship and and... omg IDEK, this amuses me so much though.

LISTEN YOU COULD DO THIS WITH SO MANY THINGS.

DRAGON AGE ORIGINS: IDK HOW I’D SWING IT BUT LELIANA/WARDEN? FUCK YEAH

DAII: HAWKE/ZEVRAN HELL YES

SHIT MAN LIKE HALF THE CHARACTERS IN INQUISITION ARE CANONICALLY AT LEAST SORT OF SPIES (Leliana, Bull, Varric, maybe Dorian depending on which hairs you wanted to split, and that’s just who i can think of at midnight after a glass of wine) LET’S GO PEOPLE

DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THIS, I READ A SPY AU OF FUCKING LES MIS LAST MONTH AND THE ONLY THING THAT OCCURRED TO ME AT THE END OF A (frankly fantastic) FIC WAS “GOSH THIS WOULD BE EVEN BETTER IF IT WAS A MR & MR SMITH AU”

IF YOU’RE GOING TO WRITE A SPY AU ANYWAY WTF WHY WOULDN’T YOU

OR IF SOMETHING IS CANONICALLY A SPY THING WHY WOULDN’T YOU WRITE THIS FIC

BASICALLY WHERE IS MY MAN FROM UNCLE MR & MR SOLO AU

*throws gun-shaped confetti*

MAKE IT ALL SPY ROMCOMS, FOLKS