So my new English professor is my uncle only he has no idea because he hasn’t talked to my mom in about 20 years so do you think is should tell him
You know what nevermind he’s a dick I’m going to talk to my mom to get dirt on him so I can blackmail him if the need arises
You should write a story about a boy for an assignment and include loads of life details about him that your mum tells you so that it’s obviously him but change all the names then hand it in and be really confused if he questions you about it
If you ever trip and fall in public, get up, laugh to yourself, and say to anyone looking: “Sorry, it’s just been so long since I’ve inhabited a body.”
I did that once. Fell over and saw a guy staring at me. Got up and wandered past him muttering “too many legs, this body has too many legs, must fix that in the next phase” Look on his face was fucking priceless.
