adelindschade freaking out with hatred over Canadian geese is the best thing ever.
Y’all bitches thought us Canadians were nice? Yeah, that’s because then we can go home and remind ourselves that we cursed you with those bitches. And then laugh.
Fuck you. Fuck all of you who had anything to do with the creation of this vile thing. I was going to bed and now I’m seething with searing hate over the fact THEY ARE BACK, AND THEY ARE BACK WITH A VICIOUS VENGEANCE.
I never did tell you about the time some kids thought it was a perfect prank of let one inside the school to reign terror on the rest of us.
No one knows exactly how it came in but we heard it. HONK. HONK/ *SCREAM*/ and we had to investigate. Watching some poor soul all but abandon her locker as this thing CHARGES, (”GET BACK TO CLASS YOUNG LADY.”) Some dare devils went out to face this thing and was promptly chickened back into the safety of the classroom after 4 boys took on one single fucking goose.
ONE FUCKING GOOSE WITH THE RAGE OF SATAN
WHAT. DID. WE . EVER. DO. TO. YOU.
WHAT. DID . YOU. SACRIFICE. TO CREATE. SUCH A DEMON.
Look, we have a reputation to uphold. We’re the nice ones. But you know what they say about the nice ones, right? That inside they’re seething balls of hate rage?
Canadian Geese are our hate rage in physical form.
I expected this from Australia. Not you. Not our friendly, non-problematic neighbors. We share lakes. And fish. And syrup. Don’t be a dick.
You know, out of all the superpowers, I would fear anyone with the power to control Canadian geese. Send those fuckers to war. Send them to bombard your enemies. Canadian Geese. Should. NOt. Be. messed. With.
