He wakes up and the first word he hears is wait! and his lips start to form the word burr? but then he sees the speaker: a woman with red hair wearing something obscenely, splendidly tight and he wonders if this is heaven and God is more of a tomcat that he suspected – but then he tries to move and pain flares down his spine, one greedy white jag, and he amends his original assessment: this is Hell, surely. “Pray tell,” he says, “where am I?” and the woman is joined by a sandy-haired man with some strange flesh-coloured apparatus curling around his ears. “New York,” says the man, “who’re you?” The man has a bow. The arrow is notched and aimed at Hamilton’s face. It is frightfully, laughably primitive – but then again the Indian braves have done much damage to westbound farmers with less and so Hamilton bites his tongue on some of his more hysterical questions and says, “My name is Alexander Hamilton. I’m at your service, sir.”
They tell him where he is. He does not believe them. They tell him when he is and he does not believe them – just a moment ago, just a moment ago, there was Burr, the gunshot, the smoke and the blood and I died I died I heard my heart lurch to a stop I saw God, the great beyond and –
They say a lot of words. There is a man in a slim black suit with obnoxious facial hair and he talks far too much and Hamilton is too quivery and out-of-place to understand the absurdity of such a condemnation (Hamilton says Tony Stark talks too much; in other news, a garden pond accuses the Atlantic of being overly wet.) He understands. He weeps. His children are dead, his grandchildren are dead. His legacy is –
there’s a musical, says Stark in a hush to Captain America (tall and blonde and how ridiculous, how perfectly absurd, this nation should not have saints or idols or – )
“A musical?”
There is a musical. There are books and television and the internet – God help the modern world, Hamilton learns about the internet and the first thing he does is write a twenty five thousand word blog on why the memory of Jefferson is overrated and false. He gets Jarvis to proofread it. He gets Jarvis to stick it on the New York Times and there’s a mass panic about someone hacking into the website for the sole purpose of slagging off a long-dead Founding Father. Nick Fury explains about firewalls and internet security. Hamilton rants at him – the Avengers listen through the door, hear things like Sally Hemings and how would you feel if the worst person you knew was remembered a hero and the article is taken down but somehow, somehow Hamilton learns what a blog is.
Things Hamilton loves about the modern world: twitter, blogging, Lin Manuel Miranda, swearing, loose sexual morality, Starbucks, minimal slavery (it still counts, he says hotly, in Africa and Asian it’s still there it isn’t gone yet – )
Yes he meets Lin Manuel Miranda. He rebukes him at length about inaccuracies. He thanks him. He sees his own play fifteen times and starts thinking about a sequel.
Oh yes. There’s a sequel.
Because the fact of the matter is this: Clinton’s corrupt and Sanders is well-meaning but doesn’t have the support and Trump is just…well. Hamilton breaks his nose and writes op-eds for every paper in the country declaring why he was right to do so.
Look: American politics is a mess. And in comes the Founding Father Without A Father, the Bastard Son of a Whore and he says: so what did I miss?
And he claps his hands and grins and says I’m not throwing away my shot and the internet goes mad and the public goes mad and no one is saying he’ll win this election but the next one, oh the next one. Four years is an eternity in politics and Senator Hamilton has the one thing he needed most: more time.
before the show, king george comes over the speaker in character and tells everyone to silence their cell phones and to “enjoy my show”
the ensemble in incredible, like one point they literally throw a stool across the stage and catch it. they do all of the shifts and move everything. they are always standing or sitting on the side or on the top of the set watching/participating in every scene. it’s incredible.
the flow in alexander hamilton is insane. and the whole show. everyone moves at the perfect timing and its so interesting to watch at all times
the turntable is the coolest thing.
the lighting for the whole show in probably one of the best parts. every cue is perfectly timed and it changes at the best times. it adds to the storyline tremendously.
the choreography in my shot is incredible. there’s one part when hamilton is standing in the middle of the turntable on “for the first time i’m thinking past tomorrow” and the ensemble all lunges towards him and then on “and i am” the lights change and then all jump back and it looks absolutely incredible.
at the beginning of schuyler sisters, peggy is literally being dragged on by her sisters. it really seems like she’s the annoying little sister.
at the end of schuyler sisters, the movement on the turntable is so cool because the different layers of the circle are all going in different directions and the cast is walking on it and the lighting and ugh it just looked unreal.
whenever the king walks, he walks so slowly and he like waddles. it’s the funniest thing ever. he also always carries his cane and uses it during his songs and i’m crying he’s the funniest part of the show.
during the boom’s during right hand man, the lights flash really bright like an explosion onstage
when burr says “martha washington named her feral tomcat after him”, hamilton jumps forwards and says “that’s true” and it’s a really cute funny moment
during helpless these candles on tables roll out and it’s really pretty and then at the beginning of satisfied they roll back during the rewind and it looks like they’re being sucked back and it’s really cool
as you probably know when they rewind in satisfied they literally walk in reverse and dance in reverse and hamilton and eliza kiss in reverse and ugh it’s the coolest thing ever and they keep going until they reach the beginning of helpless
SATISFIED IS INCREDIBLE that’s it.
in story of tonight reprise they’re all so drunk and it’s the funniest thing ever
washington is literally hamilton’s dad even moreso in person
in wait for it the ensemble sits in chairs and it’s just so powerful
after “immigrants, we get the job done” everyone applauds!!!
yorktown is HYPE. like the lights, the CHOREOGRAPHY, woowow. i could watch that number all day everyday and not get sick of it.
in yorktown the ensemble moves all of these chairs and boxes onstage and it looks literally like the world is being turned upside down and then at the end they all stand on them
when king george goes “i’m so blue” he stomps his foot and the lights all turn blue
there’s one scene in between dear theodosia and non-stop when laurens dies and he comes onstage off to the side and is singing parts of story of tonight like “i may not live to see our glory” and eliza is reading a letter from laurens’ dad, and then laurens sings “tomorrow there’ll be more of us” really slowly and it’s beautiful and then eliza says “alexander are you alright?” and he says “I have so much work to do” and BOOM hamilton jumps away and AFTER the war i went BACK to new york
in non-stop when they’re talking about the federalist papers they bring 3 empty chairs onstage that are facing upstage, and hamilton sits in the furthest upstage one. as they say “john jay got sick after writing 5″ etc, ensemble members turn the chairs around as if to show they’re empty
“lez go” is really funny
at the beginning of the non-stop all-skate washington is on rolling stairs and when he goes “history has its eyes on youuuu” they roll him center stage with a spot on him
I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT BLACKOUT!!!
when jefferson said “uh… france” he added a “duh” in there
at the end of what’d i miss, washington goes “mr. jefferson welcome home” and then hamilton pretty much pushes him out of the way to say “mr. jefferson, alexander hamilton” and it’s v funny and classic
when washington says “you could’ve been anywhere in the world tonight” he like involves the audience and jefferson does a thing where he’s like “let’s hear it” and it kind of breaks the fourth wall
“doin whatever the hell it is you do in monticello” hamilton bounces around in a circle like a dork
at the beginning of take a break philip and eliza are sitting at a piano on the turntable and philip is squirming like a little kid would that didn’t want to play piano.
at the beginning of say no to this, maria enters and is walking around the turntable and it’s almost like she’s taunting hamilton
hamilton and maria only kiss once during the scene, which makes the kiss so much more powerful
everything about the room where it happens was incredible. i cannot say enough positive things about it.
when hamilton goes “wait for it, wait for it, wait”, he mimics burr singing wait for it
at one point in room where it happens the lights form a colorful circle within a square over the table and UGH the lights in this number were UNREAL.
IT WAS JUST SOO GOOD and after the click boom people applauded for like an hour
in one last time, during the part when washington sings about the fig tree, they project a light on him and it’s textured and looks like a tree and his voice is so good and it’s such a beautiful moment
i know him is so funny because king george is so confused at the beginning and he has this evil laugh at the end omfg
when hamilton says “sit down john, you fat mother -” he is standing on the upper balcony thing and he drops this HUGE stack of papers on from it and there’s all of these flashing lights
when jefferson says “my god” in the reynolds pampHlet he makes this face of disbelief and it’s hysterical
THE LIGHTS DURING HURRICANE LOOK LIKE IT’S A HURRICANE AND I ALMOST SCREAMED FROM THE HOUSE BECAUSE IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL
the ensemble is moving all different objects during hurricane an it looks like a hurricane onstage and wowowoowowow this number was really cool
THE REYNOLDS PAMPHLET. king george is off to the side and he is reading it and he gets so excited and he comes onstage and is dancing and throwing papers and jefferson is literally throwing papers all over the stage and it’s hysterical in a sad way
at the end of the song there’s hundreds of papers all over the stage and the ensemble picks up all of the papers as fast as they can before eliza comes out for burn
eliza brings out a lantern with a candle and a stack of letters, and she lights them on fire and puts one into a bucket and then she puts more into it and you can see the fire come out of the bucket and then after she goes offstage you could smell the smoke from it, it was legit
philip literally interrupts a play within a play, there’s ensemble members performing a play onstage and when philip comes in and interrupts it in blow us all away the “actors” stop and look really confused and frustrated
stay alive reprise is the saddest thing EVER. when eliza comes onstage she is wearing a black coat and she cries out “nooooo!” and the lights go on her and she runs over to philip and hamilton “is he breathing is he going to survive this” and it brought tears to my eyes
ITS REALLY SAD
when he dies, eliza SCREAMS this bloodcurdling scream and ugh
when eliza forgives hamilton in its quiet uptown, she takes his hand, and she speaks for the first time in the song when she says “it’s quiet uptown” and it’s a beautiful moment, and they say “forgiveness”
when burr says “i’m chasing what i want, and i learned that from you” a weird realization goes across the whole audience and its a weird sort of burn
burr and jefferson stand facing the house and look up when hamilton is saying “the people are asking to hear my voice” and burr looks hopeful and jefferson looks smug and when he says “jefferson has my vote” burr’s face subtly turns to shock and jefferson does this little victory dance
burr fires at hamilton and then an ensemble member comes onstage and pretends to hold the bullet as hamilton has his moment “i imagine death so much it feels more like a memory”
in who lives who dies who tells your story, eliza is the main character, she is focused on, and is forward the whole time
ELIZA IS A CINNAMON ROLL.
at the very end of wlwdwtys, eliza gasps, and i think it’s so powerful, because it’s almost like she sees the audience and she sees how she has told his story and how his legacy has continued
OVERALL. this show is insane. everything about it is above and beyond. note i saw this show with the original broadway cast (except jonathan groff) on may 26, 2016. the hamilton hype is real, i promise.
feel free to send me any questions you may have about anything from the show, i’d love to talk about it!
okay, so, this isn’t a Hamilton lockscreen, but my friend asked for summaries of the tracks on Hamilton and I did them for her as Friends episode titles. she liked them and I guess I decided to share them with y'all? *laughs nervously*
1. alexander hamilton: the one with alexander hamilton’s tragic backstory
2. aaron burr, sir: the one where burr literally wants alex to shut the hell up
3. my shot: the one where alex shows off his lit squad
4. the story of tonight: the one where said lit squad sings about dying in the revolution
5. the schuyler sisters: the one where angelica shows aaron who’s boss
6. farmer refuted: the one where alex can’t take samuel’s bullshit any longer
7. you’ll be back: the one where king george laments the destruction of a lot of tea
8. right hand man: the one where george washington gives not one single crap about aaron
9. a winter’s ball: the one where the guys totally have game
10. helpless: the one where eliza falls in love with alexander
11. satisfied: the one where angelica regrets everything
12. the story of tonight (reprise): the one where alex’s lit squad misses out on some juicy aaron gossip
13. wait for it: the one with aaron’s tragic backstory
14. stay alive: the one where congress doesn’t do a thing and george appoints everyone general. except alex.
15. ten duel commandments: the one where john takes on lee in a duel and wins
16. meet me inside: the one where alex gets in deep shit
17. that would be enough: the one where eliza asks alex to stay
18. guns and ships: the one with lafayette’s very fast rap
19. history has its eyes on you: one time george screwed up big time and learned something
20. yorktown (the world turned upside down): the one where hercules mulligan is a bamf and they win the war
21. what comes next?: the one where they’re free from britain’s power. awesome. wow.
22. dear theodosia: the one where aaron and alex go on about how great their kids are
23. non-stop: the one where alex is unstoppable and there’s a really good medley of act 1 songs
24. what’d I miss: the one where thomas has zero idea what’s going on
25. cabinet battle #1: the one where alex pwns thomas’ smarmy ass in a rap battle
26. take a break: the one where alex refuses to go on vacation with eliza and angelica even after philip’s dope rap
27. say no to this: the one where alex is a complete idiot
28. the room where it happens: the one where aaron is 100000% jealous about not being included in anything fun
29. schuyler defeated: the one where aaron switches parties so he can actually do something
30. cabinet battle #2: the one where alex realizes that thomas and Lafayette look hella similar
31. washington on your side: the one where aaron, james and thomas are jealous that george only likes alex
32. one last time: the one where george is hella done with everything so george OUT. *mic drop*
33. I know him: the one where king george reveals that he loves the hunger games
34. the adams administration: SIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHERF****R
35. we know: the one where alex is accused of doing something horrible and confesses to some other horrible thing to deny doing the first horrible thing
36. hurricane: the one where alex comes up with a stupid idea
37. the reynolds pamphlet: the one with said stupid idea
38. burn: the one where eliza is hella done
39. blow us all away: the one where Philip does something and alex is like ‘ok son here have some guns go to your duel (death)’
40. stay alive (reprise): the one where everyone learns how to count in French in the most heartbreaking way possible. emotional suicide.
41. it’s quiet uptown: the one where alex is horribly sad and wants eliza to forgive him. also emotional suicide.
42. the election of 1800: the one where alex comes out of his bubble of sadness to snub aaron one last time
43. your obedient servant: the one where alex and aaron throw a whole lot of passive aggressiveness around
44. best of wives and best of women: the one where alex literally hasn’t learned anything about duels and listening to eliza
45. the world was wide enough: the one where aaron realizes that he’s made a horrible mistake.
46. who lives, who dies, who tells your story: the one where it is revealed that eliza is the actual hero of the story
I’m about 200 pages into Chernow’s biography of Alexander Hamilton and so far the biggest fact I’ve taken away is that Hamilton was most definitely bisexual and this biographer is so terrified of that fact that he dances around using ridiculously obtuse phrases when he could have just been like “And Hamilton always said ‘I’m in’ whenever anyone approached him for sex.”
