I never understood how Harry could have been so well adjusted. He grew up in an abusive household and there aren’t many signs that he did, except when he’s actually with the Dursleys or in their house. Shape and Riddle were both abused and have traits that reflect that, but Harry doesn’t.
There are a lot of traits resulting from abuse that Harry has. His reluctance to trust adults to protect him, his saving-people thing, his aversion to asking questions until he can’t bear not asking, his passive-aggressiveness (usually in the form of sassing someone back), his willingness to use mind games to reach his goals when necessary, and that’s just off the top of my head. There’s more evidence of abuse in his behaviour than we see in Snape, Sirius and Riddle combined IMO (unsurprisingly, since the majority of the story is told through his eyes).
Too many people act as though the only traits one could possibly have from being abused are the ones where you continue the cycle, and it’s an attitude that’s prevalent in real life too. If you aren’t aggressive, don’t overreact to small slights, don’t have a desperate need to control everything around you, don’t immediately lose all self-control when confronted with something that reminds you of the abuse, etc, then many people feel that’s evidence you weren’t ‘really’ abused. Not really, not badly, not like the people who do lose it at others and are thus the ‘true’ victims of abuse. And that is blatantly offensive to so many people who have worked very hard to make sure the cycle ends with them and they never cause the same sort of damage - damage that was often caused by a ‘bad’ survivor becoming an abuser in turn, mind you.
