sentient-teapot asked: "Accidentally capture the wrong base"? .....tell us more? Please?

buckykingofmemes:

this was before we got agent agent back as our handler, and part of the reason why he finally turned up for work again. 

so the thing about clint is that hes 1. not a good listener and 2. hes deaf. mostly. these are separate issues because being mostly deaf doesnt stop him from understanding what people are saying most of the time, it just means that you have to be sure he knows youre trying to communicate with him before you say something. (and also that you should make sure your mask doesnt cover your mouth so he can lipread, but whatever.)

we had this agent—incredibly boring guy in the worst sort of way–who’d requested clint, nat, and i for an op. nat and i were supposed to hit two of the leaders of a crime syndicate while clint got the third. easy peasy, kill some guys, free some hostages, small country liberated, total cakewalk. but the agent running the op and the briefing took FOREVER. he was talking us through like none of us had ever overthrown a country before, explaining every minute detail. nat and i could just kinda zone out and let things wash over us, picking up the pertinent details, but clint cant really do that. his hearing aids help but they weren’t perfect, so he also had to be kinda lipreading just to keep up. which takes a lot of focus for incredibly boring info. naturally he zoned out too.

which was how he missed the fact that his guy was not actually staying in his incredibly fortified base-slash-villa. his hostages were, but he wasn’t. 

luckily, they covered this in the briefing packet we were each provided with, which was a mere 362 pages. 

so obviously none of us actually read it.

we poked through, got blueprints, guard schedules, alarm systems and so on, but didnt bother with most of the rest of it. 

they dropped us in the air over each of our respective targets, clint last. i had the cliffside resort, nat had the downtown headquarters, and clint had the base-villa. nat and i handled ours like pros, of course, corpses everywhere, and clint did too–mowed right through the security, got the hostages, and then called in that his syndicate leader wasnt there, what the hell, who gave me this bad intel.

which was when he was informed that the big bad wasnt IN the villa, he was on the ISLAND ACROSS from the villa, and that hed been supposed to covertly infiltrate the beach house there and quietly capture him. ideally without ever setting foot in the villa; he was just supposed to steal a boat from the villa docks and not get spotted by security. 

unfortunately, clint had blown up all the watercraft at the villa’s docks to keep syndicate members from escaping. which meant he still had to get to the island and capture this guy, but now there were no motorboats left. and if this syndicate jerkoff got away, fury was gonna have his hide.

and thats how clint wound up launching a one-man amphibious assault on an international crime syndicate from a paddleboat.

and also why clint reads his briefings now. 

thegirlinthebyakko:

anunexpectedhotdwarf:

alannamode:

One of my favourite things about Age of Ultron is that the Avengers are presented with 2 new super-powered rivals and the only member to really land a solid hit to either of them in the entire film is the very non-super-powered Hawkeye.

Not only that, but in both cases he pretty much just does it out of sheer spite towards them

“OH MIND CONTROL HUH? BET YOU THINK YOU’RE REAL SPECIAL. NICE TRY KID I’VE PLAYED THIS LEVEL BEFORE” *electrocutes Wanda IN THE FACE*

*shoots the glass under Pietro’s feet* “WHAT YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING? HAHAHAHA WHO’S LAUGHING NOW SMARTASS-WITH-A-CATCHPHRASE? THAT’S FOR GETTING ME SHOT”

there are few things in AoU I’ll accept as cannon and this is one of them 

True.

(via allephant)

legendarystarlords:

Okay, this looks bad. Something is very wrong with Clint Barton’s life. After his encounter with Loki, he is sent on an extended vacation to Tahiti, and upon his return, Fury suggest he spends some quality time with his family. Except, in the back of his mind, he can’t remember marrying or wanting children, ever. Not only that, but Natasha and Fury aren’t answering his questions, he keeps thinking of a girl archer with a dog and to top it all off, some eastern european track suit army has decided to pursue him. Aw, no. He’s been brain washed again, hasn’t he?

(Source: guardiansofthegalaxi, via amusewithaview)

guyofhawks:

I would imagine that Clint is on a first name basis with a lot of New York’s emergency responders. 

Hurt and in the back of an ambulance?
The driver is like “Clint Barton is that you again?“ 
“Yeah, it’s me, you know I like helping people every way I can. Like letting you earn your paycheck, Barry.“ 

Need police assistance?
“Hey, Doris, yeah it’s Clint, I need some help. Oh yeah, Lucky is fine. How’s the husband? Oh that cheating bastard.“ 

Caught dangling from a telephone wire because the jump to the other roof was farther than expected?
“Honestly, Karl, I don’t do this on purpose. No, it isn’t an excuse to get to climb down the engine ladder or play in the fire truck.”

Mistaken for a burglar for trying to help some little old lady and sitting in the back of police cruiser?
“You aren’t going to tell Doris about this are you Meredith?”

(Source: sierragolfoneniner, via fireflyca)

marvelshuffle:

Marvel Shuffle | “The world is big enough for two Hawkeyes. This is Kate Bishop.”

chibi-masshuu:
“ roahnari:
“ trasiga-ogon:
“ aheartlightasair:
“ i wasnt going to reblog but then
”
The ass tho
”
That’s.. actually incredible. Not the ass, I mean that’s good yes but, fuck yeah Hawkeye Initiative!
”
I’m just impressed someone can...

chibi-masshuu:

roahnari:

trasiga-ogon:

aheartlightasair:

i wasnt going to reblog but then

The ass tho

That’s.. actually incredible. Not the ass, I mean that’s good yes but, fuck yeah Hawkeye Initiative!

I’m just impressed someone can contort themselves into the stupid poses they put women in on the covers of comic books.

(Source: hauntedorange, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

siderefposts:

numenorss:

steeverogers:

I love Clint Barton because he’s the kind of guy who would ask if he could get an Avengers discount at Starbucks

#piece of shit motherfucker probably would #and he’d find a way to get it too #*flashes avengers ID* #probably uses it to get out speeding tickets too #”no no see it’s alright i am an AVENGER” #”that means i save the world and stuff…” #”so you’re welcome” #”no need to give me a ticket see look at my AVENGERS ID-card” #ends up getting a ticket anyway #story of your life #drops by mcdonalds #slides avengers ID over the counter as a form of payment #official avenger coming through #doing hero-business #please step aside ma’am i am an avenger #that means i work with captain america #yes #good ol’ cap #the big c #why yes he does smell like freedom and apple pie

#then one day a barista or shop assistant asks cap if he’s got his avenger id for the discount#and steve gives him a blank stare#and just before he says there’s no such thing as avengers discount#nat comes up behind him#slams her id down#‘yes we both need avengers discount’#reminding herself to high five clint later#because ‘avengers discount’ has clint written all over it (via annperkin)

(via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

stormxpadme:

brbshittoavenge:

techsgtjenn:

whoistorule:

#he missed on purpose and you will never take that headcanon away from me #he’s strong as hell #stronger than anyone knows #and he can fight people controlling him #maybe he couldn’t take away the mind control but he could shift his arm just slightly to the side and miss #he’s THE GREATEST MARKSMAN IN THE WORLD AND MARIA AND FURY WERE NOT FAR FROM HIM #HE WOULDN’T HAVE MISSED IF HE DIDN’T WANT TO

Add to that that he hits Fury solid center mass where there’s body armor and not, you know, in his head.

Barton misses on purpose. Agreed.

I’ve always thought this, and… tbh I get kinda emotional at the idea that Clint’s fighting Loki off in his head. [/fangirl moment]

Fury actually states it in the deleted scene when he talks to the council.

[“A man whose talent seems to be…”]

“…killing. But he didn’t kill me. He didn’t take the head shot.”

So, not really fanon but canon to me.

(Source: avengersonna, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

spectralarchers:

Oh, the ribs, don’t forget the ribs! Let’s not forget those!

for jdrox, failfleet, umefurikake, and fearourfourthline!

(via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

“yassakool:
mediavengers:
““interestinggin:
“mediavengers:
“caityjay13:
“nottonyharrison:
“Why ask for a film when we can demand a whole series?
”
omg, but what if, what if this was done, like, The Story of Clint Barton: As Told by Kate Bishop. I...

yassakool:

mediavengers:

interestinggin:

mediavengers:

caityjay13:

nottonyharrison:

Why ask for a film when we can demand a whole series?

omg, but what if, what if this was done, like, The Story of Clint Barton: As Told by Kate Bishop. I think that would be HILARIOUS.

Can we? CAN WE PLEASE?

EXT. MANHATTAN - DAY

Devastation. POLICE and CITIZENS milling amongst the wreckage of the street. Lying on top of a car, clearly having fallen from a great height, a MAN, eyes closed, possibly dead.

CLINT (VO)
[big intake of breath]
Okay. This looks bad.

And we go into REWIND. The MAN flies upwards, flailing wildly, a bow rising up into his hand, finally crashing back through a reassembling window about SIXTY STORIES UP. PAUSE on the fist of an AIM AGENT just inches from his face.

CLINT (VO) (CONT)
You cowboy around with the Avengers some.

BACK IN REAL TIME, the fist hits him square in the jaw. As he turns back to smack the agent with his BOW, we get our first proper look at him - HAWKEYE himself, CLINT BARTON. Blonde, muscular, probably already somewhat battered; big heart and no common sense.

CLINT is holding his own against the AIM AGENTS, in a fight that seems to be mostly punching.

CLINT (VO) (CONT)
Guys got, what, armor. Magic. Super-powers. Super-strength. Shrink-dust. Grow-rays. Magic.

KATE (VO)
You said magic.

CLINT (VO) (CONT)
I know I said magic. It was emphatic.

It’s gonna give you a bit of a complex.
These guys are superheroes.
I’m a carnie with a bit of stick and string from the Paleolithic era.

A huge BLAST OF ENERGY smacks CLINT straight in the chest and he flies backwards, shattering the window, and plummeting. Flailing wildly.

CLINT (VO) (CONT)
So when I tell you ‘this looks bad’?

CLINT slams into the ground, hitting the roof of the car, unconscious.

CLINT (VO) (CONT)
I promise you it feels worse.

KATE (VO)
Hold up. Hooooooold up.

Freeze.

That is not what you told me, bossman.

CLINT (VO)
Katie, would you please -

KATE (VO)
Why is it that whenever it’s time to tell the story to other people you’re suddenly cool and badass and oooh-emphatic? Why is it just me who gets to hear about your incredible screwups?

CLINT (VO)
I didn’t screw up.

KATE (VO)
You fell off the roof from like two feet up.

REWIND AGAIN - Clint flies upwards once more, wildly flailing until the AIM AGENT has a fist at his face, but now we’re on top of a THREE STORY BUILDING in DOWNTOWN BROOKLYN.

KATE (VO)
And it wasn’t fifty bad guys, it was fifteen.

AIM AGENTS disappear, leaving only a handful.

KATE (VO.)
And I’m pretty sure Spider-Man was there.

SPIDER-MAN appears in the background.

CLINT (VO)
He was not.

KATE (VO)
He was.

CLINT (VO)
I don’t need a kid to -

KATE (VO)
It was all over Twitter, Hawkdude, just get over it. The AIM dude punched you in the face -

Which is exactly what happens as we come back to REAL TIME.

- and you fell over and landed on Spidey and he knocked you over and you fell off the roof of a hipster deli.

And CLINT trips over SPIDER-MAN in the middle of the battle and plummets from the rooftop -

CLINT
[yelling]
Oh, SHI-

- to land on the now familiar car below, thankfully unconscious once more. POLICE cars pull up around him as the battle draws to a close.

The camera pulls up, over the BROOKLYN skyline of brownstones and docks and MANHATTAN in the distance, and we see our title:

HAWKEYE

and as if it has been drawn on by pen, suddenly someone adds in:

HAWKEYE(s)

CLINT (VO)
I don’t remember asking for your input, Hawkeye.

KATE (VO)
[cheerfully]
You’re welcome, Hawkeye.

OPENING CREDITS

OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS LOOKIT LOOK LOOKIIIIIITTTTT OH MY GOD I AM DEAD THIS this thiiiiiiiiiiisssss 

NOPING OUTTA HERE BEFORE I LOSE THE PLOT COMPLETELY 

I would totally watch this and it would be a prefect Marvel feel

(via mediavengers)