Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

roachpatrol:

comedowntheroad:

raptorific:

I still think it’s hilarious that the reason nobody ever figures out Superman’s secret identity or where he lives or what he does when he’s not saving the planet, is because he already told them all the Kryptonian stuff that can’t be tied to any of his human friends or family. I guarantee you the in-universe wikipedia article on Superman lists his name as Kal-El and the “personal life” section says that he lives full-time at his private fortress of solitude at the north pole. Nobody in the world looks at Clark Kent and thinks “oh my god, maybe he’s superman!” for the same reason nobody ever starts to suspect that their coworker who looks KINDA like Barack Obama is actually secretly Barack Obama – They know who Barack Obama is and know what he does and they know their coworker Greg is Greg and not Barack Obama. They have no reason to assume Barack Obama secretly moonlights as Greg The IT Guy at their workplace even though they’ve never seen Greg and Obama in the same place. At best, “Greg is secretly Obama” would be a running joke at the office, and the same is true at the Daily Planet. “Kal-El of Krypton, who lives in a CRYSTAL PALACE at the NORTH POLE and whose dayjob is SUPERMAN, sometimes puts on a suit and pretends to be a clumsy reporter and lives in a one-bedroom walkup in Metropolis” is a ridiculous concept to anyone who doesn’t already know it’s true

@unpretty

“Hey, that— that guy, in the corner, is that— is that Superman?” 

Clark looks up from his computer at the new intern. “Oh, no,” he says. “You caught me.”

“Clark, you pull this shit every time, man,” his desk neighbor Steve says. “Shut the fuck up.”

“No, the kid’s right, I’m Superman,” Clark says. He gets out of his seat and cracks his back out. “I guess we’re gonna have a superhero fight.”

“Clark, sit back down.”

“Nope. Superhero fight.”

“Clark if you don’t sit the hell back down and finish your article by lunch I am going to tell Perry on you.”

Clark points at the intern. “You get off easy this time, buddy,” he says, and sits back down. 

“So…” the intern says, very lost. “Uh…”

“That’s Clark,” a slightly older and more experienced intern says. “He’s Superman’s asshole twin.”

(via windbladess)

jack “dad” zimmermann

omgparsonpls:

sorry not sorry @kentparseparson and i came up with this ridiculous headcanon that definitely needed to be shared with the world

• one of the frogs (probably chowder *war flashbacks to 3.15 blog post*) accidentally calls jack “dad”, oops
  
• inevitably, it becomes a SMH meme so fast, they all start calling jack “dad”
  
• except bitty. bitty is 100% banned from calling jack “dad”.
• anyway jack gets??? so used to people calling him “dad” by the time he graduates that when some random kid is talking to their actual father like “hey dad” jack turns around like “yeah???” and the falcs are like ??? you’re not a dad ??? right????
  
• you’ve clearly never met the samwell men’s hockey team
• SMH gets out to one of jack’s games and literally all of them are wearing shirts that say “jack zimmermann is my father” and made signs like “go dad!!!!”
  
• falcs: aw look jack ur kids are so supportive that’s beautiful (((:
• jack: i have no friends in this world
• and you know the falcs join in after a while of course
  
• marty: hey dad can you pass me my water bottle
• jack: you are literally older than me
• tater: wow dad you playing so great, hoping i’m being big hockey star like you when i’m being grown-up
• jack: go away tater i’m trying to eat my pb&j
• kent somehow manages to get hold of a “jack zimmermann is my father” shirt
  
• which marks the day that kent is also 100% banned from calling jack “dad”
• bitty and kent bond over this and become best friends
• it also marks the day that the jack “dad” zimmermann meme continues to spread from samwell to providence to fucking las vegas
  
• everyone on the aces start calling him “dad”, too
  
• aces player when jack checks him: what the fuck dad, i thought we were cool
• aces goalie when jack scores: dad is that any way to treat your son
• jack: *so dumbfounded he forgets how to play hockey for a minute*
• the aces starting buying jack so much “#1 Hockey Dad” shit
  
• when the aces win the cup one of them is like “i want to thank my dad, jack zimmermann, for always supporting me”
  
• bitty is laughing so hard he falls off the couch
• meanwhile jack is just like “he did not just…. say that…. on TV. bitty– bitty stop laughing you’re supposed to love me bitty please”
• espn is confused. baby daddy!jack rumors arise. as does the new “Jack Zimmermann Is My Baby Daddy” meme (and shirts).
  
• (bitty buys 3)
• (shity has a crop top)
• and if you think bob and alicia zimmermann are innocent during this whole strange phenomenon you’re very wrong
  
• both of them totally get in on the baby daddy rumors. bob fuels the flames “well he did bring that one person over here that one time…” alicia starts asking when she’s going to get to meet her grandchildren, jack.
  
• also bob wearing one of the “jack zimmermann is my father” shirts
  
• jack: ok but dad you’re literally my dad ??? stop ??? why are you like this ???
• every week there’s a new rumor over which hockey player jack zimmermann has a child with
  
• SMH does their duty and makes sure to report to jack every time they find a new one
• “hey jack why didn’t you tell us you had a kid with sid crosby bro that’s not a secret you keep from your bros”
• the week it’s jack + tater, jack gets nearly simultaneous texts from ransom and kent like  “🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 right in my BACK, zimmermann, i’ve never been so BETRAYED”
  
• kent and ransom form a Personally Betrayed By Jack Zimmermann For Taking Our Man support group

(Source: kentvparsin, via windbladess)

mewwitch:

yawpkatsi:

hellenhighwater:

yawpkatsi:

Concept: Some jackass shows Bucky how to make a blog and it becomes really popular. Not because it’s the blog of James Buchanan Barnes, American Legend, War Hero, Infamous Assassin, Alleged Terrorist. Nobody even knows it’s his blog. It gets really popular because people think it’s a really great shitpost generator or something. Because Bucky is just a Weird Fucking Person and everything he posts on his fucking personal blog comes off as somewhere between dril and Jaden Smith and people are like “this is some quality garbage right here” and thus Accidental Memelord Bucky is born.

Bucky posts things like

“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”

“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”

“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”

“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”

“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”

“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”

“I guess I must have done something horrible in a past life. I mean. I definitely did something horrible in this life, so. “

OMG I LOVEEEE

YEEESSSSSSS!

“Guy in front of me won’t move his car seat up. I think that might still be upset about all those times I tried to kill him.”

“Got lectured by a guy who had been complaining about how things were Back In The Day. I don’t understand why he got upset. I too lived through the Great Depression and was drafted for the War.”

“The economy in this century sucks. Who exactly though another Stock Market crash was a good idea?”

“Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them. On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.”

“‘If you don’t behave we’ll send (mutual) after you.’ Jokes on them. I’m the one who trained to be an assassin in the first place.”

“Tried to buy a Chicken Dinner candy bar at the supermarket today. Turns out they were discontinued 54 years ago. Super bummed.”

“Wait. People were on the moon?! We got into space? There is a way off of this rock?! Why am I only just hearing about this?!”

“'Have you been living under a rock the past 50 years?’ No I was cryogenically frozen for 70. I don’t appreciate your tone young man.”

“My friend likes convincing people that I’m the Reckless one in our friendship. As if he won’t find an alley behind a bar to pick a fight in if I take my eyes off him for two seconds.”

(via littlestartopaz)

Ninth Doctor Headcanon

gallifreyburning:

gallifreyfieldsforever:

the-girl-who-was-sherlocked:

When the Ninth Doctor first asked Rose to travel through time with him and refused, the Doctor accepted that and moved on. He traveled through space and time, saving the universe, all lonely for years thinking “I wish Rose could have been here.” Eventually, he goes back to a few seconds after he left Rose and says “By the way, did I mention it also travels in time?”

Rose never knew how long the Doctor waited for her.

I think this makes sense. In the episode Rose you see all those photos of Nine at the assassination of Kennedy and at the Titanic (on his own). But also in that episode he’s checking his reflection in the mirror like he’s seeing it for the first time, so he can’t have been long regenerated. So maybe he does all that stuff in the time before he comes back and says “Did I mention, it also travels in time?”

which makes that line even more powerful because this time he would really want her to say yes, because he knows what it’s like without her. 

What’s interesting are the events the Doctor (theoretically) chose to visit during that time between when Rose (theoretically) first said no, and when he returned to extend the invitation a second time. Nine was photographed/drawn near the Titanic, Krakatoa, and the Kennedy assassination. All horrible catastrophes with tragic loss of life, all catastrophes that caused profound change in human history, catastrophes that (if Pompeii and Bowie Base One are anything to go by), would likely qualify as fixed points in time. 

This leads me to believe that the Doctor was nearly in the throes a Time Lord Victorious breakdown as a result of the Time War and Rose’s rejection. He was dancing around the edges of these fixed points, likely looking for a way to save lives and prove to himself that he wasn’t a vile person. To prove to himself he could make a difference. 

To prove to himself that he’s worthy of having someone brave and clever like Rose as a companion.

And Nine (obviously) doesn’t save Kennedy’s life or stop the eruption of Krakatoa, but in the episode “Rose” we find out he DOES save one family originally scheduled to travel on the Titanic by convincing them to delay their trip. A small measure of redemption.

Enough so that the Doctor summons the courage to return to that dark London sidewalk and casually lean out the door of his TARDIS like no time had passed at all, like he hadn’t been scrabbling in the wake of Rose’s rejection. And then he said the words he’d practiced alone in his console room dozens of times, with the exact amount of calculated swagger he’d rehearsed: “By the way, did I mention it also travels in time?”

(Source: twoukofukawa, via ailleee)

shadowmaat:

tora42:

brak666:

FN-2187 walked into a detention cell and removed a high level prisoner by saying, “Kylo Ren sent me” and none of the guards even thought to call and verify it. He then marched that prisoner through the corridors of a Star Destroyer and into a fighter bay passed a gaggle of officers and no one batted an eye.

But go on and tell me how Finn was just a janitor.

oh but now i’ve been thinking about this!

ok 1.) finn in before the awakening is literally at the top of his class, like phasma’s only beef with this dude is that he’s got too much empathy but other than that he’s a+ officer material in logistics, combat training, marksmanship, leadership, the whole shebang. so he’s probably trusted to know his shit and do his job. so if fn-2187 says ren wants the prisoner, then ren wants the prisoner. that makes perfect sense.

now the hangar tho, here me out: finn using the force. unconsciously, but we know jedi can pass unseen when they want/need to, and he’s so desperate to not get caught he’s probably thinking okay stay calm stay calm nothing to see here just a trooper trasnporting a prisoner nothing unusual here and it WORKS.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

werewolfjokewar:

improbablenormality:

kvothetheravenclaw:

Headcanon that the Ravenclaw door allows entry to those who willingly and humbly admit that they do not know the answer or that their answer is wrong, because having an open mind and awareness of the limits of your intellect is proof of wisdom.

Supplementary headcanon that there are a lot of good answers, because the door opens for good reasoning, good arguments, and the way your mind hacks away at the problem, not the actual answer itself.

Tertiary headcanon that the door will no longer open for puns, no matter how clever.

(via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

fireandwonder:

So I was thinking about those tongue-in-cheek posts about Hogwarts Houses that are like “So, uh, why are we dividing the kids up again?” and I started thinking what if there were actually practical differences for sorting the kids by personality? Such as catering to different learning styles in the classroom.

Like, Gryffindor classes are very hands-on and encourage kids to experiment and explore on their own.

Hufflepuff is more discussion-based and involves a lot of small-group projects that aren’t graded so much as evaluated by peers.

Ravenclaws have general topics and principles that need to be covered every year, but within that, each student is encouraged to learn in-depth about specific topics of their own interest.

Slytherins are very goal-oriented and while some competitiveness against each other is encouraged, they’re mostly rewarded for self-improvement. 

Just, you know, actual qualitative differences in the Houses.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

subtle-queen:

Imagine after Bucky joins the Avengers the guys are telling him about all the missions they’ve gone on and they’re casually mentioning all the times Steve’s almost killed himself and Bucky keeps glaring at him like,

“you jumped out of a plane? With no parachute?”

“you crashed your plane in the middle of the ocean?”

"you were going to fight a GOD?!”

and the rest of the avengers just have to sit there listening to Bucky shouting at Steve, for like an hour.

(Source: elegguas, via johanirae)