Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

pocketplant:

sugar-dollie:

accio-shitpost:

what’s the betting that potterwatch was just a radio project lee jordan was doing in his spare time and never actually stopped after the war

“Harry Potter was spotted at the local farmers market today, good choices in produce Harry! Gotta love the organics”

he’s the only reporter harry will talk to other than giving official statements when he has to as an auror

“I’m speaking to Harry Potter today after the long-awaited conclusion of the trial of quadruple murderer Waldorfus Grenoble. Harry, may I ask you a question regarding the trial?”

“Sure, Lee, I have to be back at work in ten but give it a go.”

“What is in the curry you had for lunch yesterday during the recess? It smelled fantastic and I have to know.”

“Thanks for asking, Lee. I’ve recently come across a book of my great-grandmother Priyanka’s notes on her Punjabi cooking and I’ve been trying to recreate her food. I liked that one but Ginny said it was too sweet so I’m making adjustments.”

“Fantastic. Great stuff. Next up we have an update on You-Know-Who’s whereabouts. Not Voldemort obviously– he’s six feet under, it’s been around 2500 days now and he’s still going strong, no sign of him being not dead any time soon.”

“You’re correct, Lee, he’s dead as a doornail and he’s going to stay that way. You do realize you don’t need to refer to your infant daughter as ‘You-Know-Who,’ right?”

“Sophie starts screaming if either of her dads talks about her and we don’t know why. Any suggestions, and any idea where she is now?”

“Oliver was walking her up and down the hallway outside the World Cup Regulatory Office last I saw her. As for the screaming, with James we gave him the miniature dragon from the Triwizard in ‘94 and that entertained him pretty well.”

“You heard it here first folks, Harry Potter thinks dragons are an appropriate substitute for pacifiers! Thanks for your time, Harry.”

“Any time, Lee.”

“Next week’s password is anything that will make our six-month-old go to sleep for longer than four hours. Signing off, this has been Potterwatch with River and the man himself, Harry Potter.”

(via windbladess)

mx-delta-juliette:

cabell:

doctornerdington:

onionhighonionandrenown:

yahtzee63:

flarechaser:

flarechaser:

zetsubonna:

As a person with a liberal arts degree who basically has never worked in the field for which she studied, I submit to you that Patty Tolan could potentially hold at the very least a Bachelor’s in American History.

Statistically, Black women are the most educated, degree-holding group in America, and STEM degrees are not the only ones that matter.

She could also potentially be an autodidact, but there’s no reason she has to be.

STEM degrees are not the only ones that matter. Those of us with advanced degrees who are underemployed know this. Hell, several STEM degree holders are also underemployed.

Picture Patricia Tolan’s Master thesis on the history of capital punishment in New York being how she identified that ghost in the subway and tell me that isn’t fucking awesome.

She might also have an MA as an architecture historian, which is how she knows so much about specific buildings and their histories

ok but

architecture historian patty tolan predicting the kind of specters that might show up based on the age of the building

architecture historian patty predicting where most ghost activity will be based on which areas are undergoing extreme gentrification, all that ‘renovating’ stirs up a lot of angry ghost energy

patty knowing the escape routes because she’s familiar with the style of architecture and can get everyone out if the ghost gets too hostile

patty being really concerned over the amount of damage their equipment can do to historic structures (and holtz tinkering with it to make them do less damage in the physical world and more to ghosts because she cares about her gf)

patty geeking out when one of the more destructive technologies reveals the original facade of a cool building behind a soulless modern cover

patty being able to calm ghosts down by showing homeowners and renters and landlords what updates to the structure probably got the ghost mad and advising them to get rid of it because its not in the right style anyways

patty going to the archives and doing initial research of a ghost because the archives are cool and its nice to have her hands on original source material again, amazing to be actually using her degree, even if its for something weird and a little scary

I keep imagining the deleted scene where Patty offhandedly mentions she has an MA in history, and Erin asks why she isn’t teaching. Patty gives her the eyebrow. “Nobody’s hiring tenure-track historians. Only adjuncts. Have you SEEN what adjuncts make?”

::in the background, Holtzmann nods knowingly::

Patty finishes, “At least at the MTA, I get dental insurance and overtime.” 

Because in all honesty, the situation for liberal arts grad students right now makes this 100 percent plausible. 

Reblogging for that awesome addition.

Haha, I read this before I saw the movie, and I think I forgot it was fanon and not actual movie canon. 100% buy.

Y’all, you cannot even adjunct now with an MA–you need a PhD (for sure in NYC). And we still make shit. So basically I’m saying Patty has a PhD.

Patty has a doctorate in architecture history.

Erin, of course, has a doctorate in physics.

Holtzmann has at least two doctorates, a strict warning from the CIA about not traveling in the middle east, and a letter from a certain Director of a certain National Laboratory, both of which carry comparable amounts of weight in the right circles.

Abby… does not. If paranormal studies was a field, she’d be its Grace Hopper. As it is, she’s more of an Ada Lovelace.

And so, when Erin gets in to work, and is in a good mood, the following exchange has been known to happen:

“Doctor.” “Doctor.”

“Doctor doctor,” “Doctor.”

“Abby.”

“…fuck you.”

(Holtzmann once made a comment to the tune of “please do”, and discovered that Abby had quite the throwing arm.)

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

thebibliosphere:

unpretty:

mellydraws:

deepfriedfuckpotato:

Look, guys, you need to know something really important about Batman.

The whole traditional English butler thing? Yeah, “master ____” is a form of address used for children. Alfred has been lowkey calling Bruce a manchild for decades.

And I think that’s beautiful.

@unpretty

i always assumed that when bruce got older, alfred called him ‘mister wayne’ exactly once, because the look on bruce’s face when alfred called him what he’d previously always called thomas wasn’t one he ever wanted to see again

Okay *clears throat* that was uncalled for

(via johanirae)

roachpatrol:

comedowntheroad:

raptorific:

I still think it’s hilarious that the reason nobody ever figures out Superman’s secret identity or where he lives or what he does when he’s not saving the planet, is because he already told them all the Kryptonian stuff that can’t be tied to any of his human friends or family. I guarantee you the in-universe wikipedia article on Superman lists his name as Kal-El and the “personal life” section says that he lives full-time at his private fortress of solitude at the north pole. Nobody in the world looks at Clark Kent and thinks “oh my god, maybe he’s superman!” for the same reason nobody ever starts to suspect that their coworker who looks KINDA like Barack Obama is actually secretly Barack Obama – They know who Barack Obama is and know what he does and they know their coworker Greg is Greg and not Barack Obama. They have no reason to assume Barack Obama secretly moonlights as Greg The IT Guy at their workplace even though they’ve never seen Greg and Obama in the same place. At best, “Greg is secretly Obama” would be a running joke at the office, and the same is true at the Daily Planet. “Kal-El of Krypton, who lives in a CRYSTAL PALACE at the NORTH POLE and whose dayjob is SUPERMAN, sometimes puts on a suit and pretends to be a clumsy reporter and lives in a one-bedroom walkup in Metropolis” is a ridiculous concept to anyone who doesn’t already know it’s true

@unpretty

“Hey, that— that guy, in the corner, is that— is that Superman?” 

Clark looks up from his computer at the new intern. “Oh, no,” he says. “You caught me.”

“Clark, you pull this shit every time, man,” his desk neighbor Steve says. “Shut the fuck up.”

“No, the kid’s right, I’m Superman,” Clark says. He gets out of his seat and cracks his back out. “I guess we’re gonna have a superhero fight.”

“Clark, sit back down.”

“Nope. Superhero fight.”

“Clark if you don’t sit the hell back down and finish your article by lunch I am going to tell Perry on you.”

Clark points at the intern. “You get off easy this time, buddy,” he says, and sits back down. 

“So…” the intern says, very lost. “Uh…”

“That’s Clark,” a slightly older and more experienced intern says. “He’s Superman’s asshole twin.”

(via windbladess)

jack “dad” zimmermann

omgparsonpls:

sorry not sorry @kentparseparson and i came up with this ridiculous headcanon that definitely needed to be shared with the world

• one of the frogs (probably chowder *war flashbacks to 3.15 blog post*) accidentally calls jack “dad”, oops
  
• inevitably, it becomes a SMH meme so fast, they all start calling jack “dad”
  
• except bitty. bitty is 100% banned from calling jack “dad”.
• anyway jack gets??? so used to people calling him “dad” by the time he graduates that when some random kid is talking to their actual father like “hey dad” jack turns around like “yeah???” and the falcs are like ??? you’re not a dad ??? right????
  
• you’ve clearly never met the samwell men’s hockey team
• SMH gets out to one of jack’s games and literally all of them are wearing shirts that say “jack zimmermann is my father” and made signs like “go dad!!!!”
  
• falcs: aw look jack ur kids are so supportive that’s beautiful (((:
• jack: i have no friends in this world
• and you know the falcs join in after a while of course
  
• marty: hey dad can you pass me my water bottle
• jack: you are literally older than me
• tater: wow dad you playing so great, hoping i’m being big hockey star like you when i’m being grown-up
• jack: go away tater i’m trying to eat my pb&j
• kent somehow manages to get hold of a “jack zimmermann is my father” shirt
  
• which marks the day that kent is also 100% banned from calling jack “dad”
• bitty and kent bond over this and become best friends
• it also marks the day that the jack “dad” zimmermann meme continues to spread from samwell to providence to fucking las vegas
  
• everyone on the aces start calling him “dad”, too
  
• aces player when jack checks him: what the fuck dad, i thought we were cool
• aces goalie when jack scores: dad is that any way to treat your son
• jack: *so dumbfounded he forgets how to play hockey for a minute*
• the aces starting buying jack so much “#1 Hockey Dad” shit
  
• when the aces win the cup one of them is like “i want to thank my dad, jack zimmermann, for always supporting me”
  
• bitty is laughing so hard he falls off the couch
• meanwhile jack is just like “he did not just…. say that…. on TV. bitty– bitty stop laughing you’re supposed to love me bitty please”
• espn is confused. baby daddy!jack rumors arise. as does the new “Jack Zimmermann Is My Baby Daddy” meme (and shirts).
  
• (bitty buys 3)
• (shity has a crop top)
• and if you think bob and alicia zimmermann are innocent during this whole strange phenomenon you’re very wrong
  
• both of them totally get in on the baby daddy rumors. bob fuels the flames “well he did bring that one person over here that one time…” alicia starts asking when she’s going to get to meet her grandchildren, jack.
  
• also bob wearing one of the “jack zimmermann is my father” shirts
  
• jack: ok but dad you’re literally my dad ??? stop ??? why are you like this ???
• every week there’s a new rumor over which hockey player jack zimmermann has a child with
  
• SMH does their duty and makes sure to report to jack every time they find a new one
• “hey jack why didn’t you tell us you had a kid with sid crosby bro that’s not a secret you keep from your bros”
• the week it’s jack + tater, jack gets nearly simultaneous texts from ransom and kent like  “🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 right in my BACK, zimmermann, i’ve never been so BETRAYED”
  
• kent and ransom form a Personally Betrayed By Jack Zimmermann For Taking Our Man support group

(Source: kentvparsin, via windbladess)

wildehacked:

destronomics:

I want everything about those first few years where galen tried more overt ways of sabotage, and the part of krennic that knows he could eventually find someone else to achieve the same aims but now it was a matter of principle, bringing galen to heel

every couple of years, when he felt galen wasn’t toeing the line, bringing in a blasted body of some rebel with the relative proportions of what galen’s daughter might have been at that point in time

clinical, asking if galen could identify the body and knowing there was little left to actually do so.

sometimes he’d have galen view a body with the proportions of a child, knowing is this your daughter? would be rhetorical given what her assumed age would be, if she had managed to get off the backwater rock krennic and found galen in

but that was never the point of the exercise, of course.

YES

tyrannosaurus-trainwreck:

kyraneko:

fahye:

banthacakes:

bookelfe:

orlofsky:

andriseup:

liz-squids:

bookelfe:

As an occasional visitor to Star Wars fandom, here are some things I would like to see come out of Rogue One:

- the fic about the reactions of the Empire’s IT and records management departments when they learn that some trigger-happy general just literally blew up an entire unique archival repository of key bureaucratic data
- the comic about the first time some maintenance technician tries to repair something on the Death Star and the guy’s like, ‘where’s the documentation?’ and their boss is like ‘um, well, funny story about that….’
- the in-depth analysis about various mistakes the Empire makes in the original trilogy and how they operate in context of an organization that has just, I repeat, LITERALLY BLOWN UP ALL OF THEIR OWN BACKUP DATA. Of course it’s easy for any random hero to impersonate a Stormtrooper! THEY DESTROYED ALL THEIR OWN PERSONNEL FILES.

Rogue One, or, Why All The Empire’s Librarians and Archivists Joined the Rebellion

@earendils @butneverstoptrying

Rogue 2 plot summary: a bunch of Imperial waste management techs go AWOL and steal the Death Star plans back from the Rebels because how else are we supposed to get the dianoga out of the pipes when we have literally no idea where half of these ducts go or what they’re for

they complete their mission but in the end decide not to delete the plans from the main Alliance computers after they’ve made their copy because ehhhhh what if we never had to fix anything on that piece of shit again, what if that, it’s insured right?

This also explains why none of the bridges or giant pits in the floor have railings: literally no one knows if they’re supposed to be there or not, and once someone tried to drill into the floor to install some and destroyed the main air circulation wiring for half the station, now everyone just has to be real careful all the time

It also means that when they built the second Death Star in ROTJ they had to start entirely from scratch, yikes

in the end they decide not to delete plans from main Alliance computers because their heist crew contains one records manager who’s like ‘look, we’re SUPPOSED to have redundant data backups, this way we’re not even paying for the storage!’

Paging @fahye because PUBLIC SERVANTS

this post has made the rounds amazingly on my dash and now it’s LITERALLY CALLING MY NAME.

pour one out for that tfa fic I was writing about della calrissian, disgruntled member of the new republic capital electoral commission, just trying to do her job and not get involved with the rebellion AGAIN.

never doubt my commitment to space bureaucracy.

I LOVE PEOPLE!

(Seriously, who’s up for a zine/anthology/cooperative AO3 series (group? tag? IDK) around the theme of various public servants sabotaged the Empire, joined the Rebellion, or avenged the besmirchment of their domains. #public servants of the empire, or the like.)

I love the way the glaring fucking design flaw that’s been pointed out since New Hope came out (your flying doom-planet that you’re going to use to subjugate the galaxy will explode entirely into so much space-dust after a love-tap from a single-pilot fighter if it’s in the right place? were you people high when you designed this?) just got shutupshutupohmygodshutuped away with Secret Rebels Sabotaging Things.

And it explains so much else, about everything, doesn’t it?

No guardrails over fucking bottomless pits? Some rebel sympathizer on the allocation committee line-itemed half the safety shit right out of the budget.

Helmets with no peripheral vision because fuck you, that’s why? The woman who designed them got conscripted into the job, and the only thing that makes her smile is watching those douchebag noncoms crash into each other in Y-intersection corridors.

Nobody notices there being extra stormtroopers running around? With the way Lieutenant Bob keeps dicking with the schedule, nobody can say for sure there shouldn’t be purple flying monkeys manning the security checkpoints.  He’s run three Emperor Inspection Drills in as many weeks, and just three days ago he put the entire unit on duty at once and left the overnight shift “TBA.” He’s doing more to tank morale than Vader’s temper.  Coincidentally, Lieutenant Bob’s homeworld got hit with a punitive tax hike six months ago, and people are literally starving in the streets.

The guy who checks itineraries and rosters for incoming shuttle flights believed the hype about joining up and seeing the Galaxy.  Turns out fuck literally every actual thing about this job, from officer infighting to civilian casualties to Vader’s last-minute order to have every surface in his on-board suite kitted out with fucking lava lamps, of all things.  Like, they’re in space.  He gets that, right?  They can’t just stop by SpaceMart and pick up stuff like that.  His boss is a dick and he was up all night making lava lamps out of cooking oil and food coloring, and you know what?  The last thing he wants to do right now is check the manifest on the next delivery of cooking oil.  He’s had enough with cooking oil.  He took five showers when he got back to his quarters, and he still smells like fucking canola.  The Wookie and the guy who hasn’t shaved in a month and the guy still picking half a tumbleweed out of his hair can blow up the entire fucking station for all he cares–he will help them plant the explosives, if it comes down to it–so long as they don’t make him talk about the cooking oil he’s signing off on as being delivered.

(via skymurdock)

mewwitch:

yawpkatsi:

hellenhighwater:

yawpkatsi:

Concept: Some jackass shows Bucky how to make a blog and it becomes really popular. Not because it’s the blog of James Buchanan Barnes, American Legend, War Hero, Infamous Assassin, Alleged Terrorist. Nobody even knows it’s his blog. It gets really popular because people think it’s a really great shitpost generator or something. Because Bucky is just a Weird Fucking Person and everything he posts on his fucking personal blog comes off as somewhere between dril and Jaden Smith and people are like “this is some quality garbage right here” and thus Accidental Memelord Bucky is born.

Bucky posts things like

“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”

“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”

“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”

“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”

“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”

“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”

“I guess I must have done something horrible in a past life. I mean. I definitely did something horrible in this life, so. “

OMG I LOVEEEE

YEEESSSSSSS!

“Guy in front of me won’t move his car seat up. I think that might still be upset about all those times I tried to kill him.”

“Got lectured by a guy who had been complaining about how things were Back In The Day. I don’t understand why he got upset. I too lived through the Great Depression and was drafted for the War.”

“The economy in this century sucks. Who exactly though another Stock Market crash was a good idea?”

“Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them. On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.”

“‘If you don’t behave we’ll send (mutual) after you.’ Jokes on them. I’m the one who trained to be an assassin in the first place.”

“Tried to buy a Chicken Dinner candy bar at the supermarket today. Turns out they were discontinued 54 years ago. Super bummed.”

“Wait. People were on the moon?! We got into space? There is a way off of this rock?! Why am I only just hearing about this?!”

“'Have you been living under a rock the past 50 years?’ No I was cryogenically frozen for 70. I don’t appreciate your tone young man.”

“My friend likes convincing people that I’m the Reckless one in our friendship. As if he won’t find an alley behind a bar to pick a fight in if I take my eyes off him for two seconds.”

(via littlestartopaz)

coming2usoon:

Imagine Jaylah at the Starfleet academy after Star Trek Beyond.

-Like the first day she gets there and is settling into her room Scotty is there to help her move in. And he’s just so happy she’s going to the engineering part of the academy but is also scared to death that she’s going to become a red shirt.
-Her roommate isn’t that fond of Jaylah’s taste in music and hates the banging and loudness of it all.
-In her first few classes she doesn’t even pay attention due to knowing all the material.
-the only class she actually listens in is language and communications class.
-Uhara is happy to hear the girl is taking an interest in communications though she knows Jaylah will always stick with engineering.
-she video chats with the enterprise crew quite often and they usually help her with her course work.
-Uhara with communications of course.
-Sulu with the mandatory pilot classes that all cadets have to take.
-Chekov helps her with learning the constellations that she forces herself to learn in case she ever gets lost.
-Kirk is just her chatting buddy and they’ll discuss classical music together along with other things.
-Usually Bones is the one to call her. He does this when Jim has pissed him off or something idiotic has happened and he needs to rant it to someone.
-Spock is the one who listens to her troubles with classes and helps by suggesting things that may help.
-Scotty is the one she always calls when she’s excited about something that happened in class. He feels like a proud father whenever he hears about what she built that day.
-No one at the academy believes Jaylah when she says she knows the famous enterprise crew. Even the teachers scoff at the possibility.
-Everyone jokes about how she’s making up knowing the crew until they show up one day.
-the Enterprise had docked and the crew had practically a month of shore leave so the first thing they did was head to the academy.
- they burst into the room in the middle of one of her history of Starfleet classes. They’re all beaming while the Class and teacher just stare shocked and confused at the sight of the crew.
-Scotty’s the one to yell, “Lassie!” When he sees her.
-Jaylah’s up in a heartbeat and runs over to the crew hugging Scotty first.
- She moves to hug the entire crew after that saying hello to each of them.
- “How you doing Jay?” Kirk asks her.
- “As well as I can James T.” She answers grinning.
-Kirk chuckles and the crew drag the girl out of class.
-No one really sees Jaylah for the rest of the month outside of classes. They’re even shocked when she stops coming to a few of them.
- When she finally does appear again she’s bombarded with people wanting to know how she knows the crew of the enterprise.
-She just grins and answers, “They made my home fly.”
-After that everyone knows not to mess with Jaylah, not only in fear of getting their butts kicked by the woman herself but by the crew that stands behind her as well.
-A few years later at her class’s graduation no one is surprised at all when she’s assigned to the Enterprise or when the entire crew showed up to the ceremony.

(via windbladess)