Shit I’ve Heard High Schoolers Say

writtenrain:

  • Why stop at capitalism? Destroy everything.

  • Guys it’s been three weeks since I’ve eaten a vegetable

  • At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence

  • An AP student: Oh my god I thought seven was less than six 

  • (while filling the cap of their water bottle with water) SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS 

  • friend one: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou-
    friend two: probably

  • I’M GONNA GO HOME AND DRINK A WHOLE GLASS OF WEED

  • If cows ruled the world would they drink human milk?

  • student: my calculator is broken
    teacher: your calculator isn’t broken, you’re broken

  • no actually I think you have to be of age to be considered a cougar

  • (during math class on the second floor) student 1: so like how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground?  
    student 2: enough

  • teacher: has anyone ever been to New Orleans?
    Student: does Popeyes count?

  • my word count on this paper isn’t very high but I certainly am

  • we’re in adult limbo. I’m not a teen and I’m not an adult. I’M SUFFERING, THAT’S WHAT I AM!

  • Look at my… (swings leg up to show shorts) not pants

(via goblinbutch)

onlyblackgirl:

drakesideheaux:

Class discussions are fun until u find out ur classmates are racists

class discussions make me cringe.

Class discussions have led to:

  • the discovery that half my class was racist as fuck
  • the discovery that half my class was homophobic/transphobic/etc as fuck (I did get a hug from the only out kid in class when I was done taking the ringleader to shreds, though, he was a great kid)
  • the discovery that my entire class revered Columbus as a good and kind individual who just did So Damn Much for the heathen savages (yeah, that was an ugly revelation for them)
  • an actual shouting match between two sides of the class over abortion laws/rights, which had to be broken up by the passing vice principal
  • the discovery that the history teacher was unaware of the fact that no culture EVER thought the world was flat (and certainly not the Greeks????  this is still weird to me????)
  • the discovery that a few people in my class believed that, if a parent was beating their kid, the kid must have deserved it (I genuinely hope those people got therapy and moved out of their homes)
  • and last but most certainly not least
  • the discovery that half the class thought that the way a girl dressed dictated whether or not she ‘deserved’ to get raped, which led straight to
  • the discovery that the TEACHER thought that if a girl dressed a certain way, she wasn’t a victim, no matter what happened to her, which was directly involved in
  • me, in my jeans and t-shirt, slamming a kid into a table by the throat for certain ongoing shenanigans

And that was all just in my high school.

(via academicfeminist)

littlebluecaboose:

but what was your /least/ favorite book in high school? reblog and put it in the tags! start a fight with your friends!
ill start it off: mine was the bluest eye.

(via fireflyca)

"HIGH SCHOOL
This is how to run a stick of Chapstick
down the black boxes on your scantron
so the grading machine skips the wrong
answers. This is how to honor roll. Hell,
this is how to National Honor Society.
This is being voted “Most Likely to Marry
for Money” or “Talks the Most, Says the
Least” for senior superlatives. This is
stepping around the kids having panic
attacks in the hallway. This is being the
kid having a panic attack in the hallway.
This is making the A with purple moons
stamped under both eyes. We had to try.
This is telling the ACT supervisor you have
ADHD to get extra time. Today, the average
high school student has the same anxiety
levels as the average 1950’s psychiatric
patient. We know the Pythagorean theorem
by heart, but short-circuit when asked
“How are you?” We don’t know. We don’t
know. That wasn’t on the study guide.
We usually know the answer, but rarely
know ourselves."

HIGH SCHOOL By Blythe Baird (via farfromhomee)

(Source: blythebrooklyn, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)