Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

Paleontological Nomenclature: Part 2

corkboardofcuriosities:

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

factsinallcaps:

demontadark:

factsinallcaps:

PRESIDENT JOHN QUINCY ADAMS HAD A PET ALLIGATOR HE KEPT IN THE WHITE HOUSE. IT WAS GIVEN TO HIM AS A GIFT BY MARIE-JOSEPH PAUL YVES ROCH GILBERT DU MOTIER DE LAFAYETTE, AKA THE MARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE

i refuse to fact check this because i dont want to be disappointed

YOU WON’T BE DISAPPOINTED ANYWAY, JQA IS LIKE A FUN FACT GOLD MINE

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

rikodeine:

seasonoftowers:

suzie-guru:

donzs:

we-all-eat-death:

fyeahteamgents:

karlosmadera:

factfiend:

Fun fact: According to Greek legend there was a famous prostitute who managed to avoid a death sentence by showing the judges her boobs and arguing that it would be a crime against the Gods to destroy something so beautiful. 

Before you ask, yes there are paintings of this. And yes, they’re amazing.

Read more.

I love history.

Role models tho.

The gay one

No, but this is one of my absolute favorite bits of history! 

The courtesan named was named Phryne and she was indeed a renowned beauty, and was indeed was put on trial for a capital crime. And yes, the sum of her defense consisted of her stripping in court (helped by her lover/defendant) and asking the jury (all males) if they were prepared to destroy this. 

But this is actually a very interesting case of Values Dissonance - the capital crime she was accused of was blasphemy. In Ancient Greek society, exceptional beauty was a sign of favor from the gods, and they took the idea that beauty indicated goodness with great seriousness. They even called their nobles Kaloi k'Agathoi, “the Beautiful and the Good.” 

So by showing off her great physical beauty, Phryne was being very clever indeed, her argument essentially being “How could I possibly commit blasphemy if the gods have given me this body?“ 

God, I adore history. 

She was accused of blasphemy because at a festival of Poseidon, her gift to the god was her walking naked into the sea.

hookers have been amazing since forever i love her

(via amusewithaview)

some classics valentine’s day poems

occupationprophet:

raisel-the-riveter:

johnnyatruant:

johnnyatruant:

johnnyatruant:

teashoesandhair:

thoodleoo:

Achilles

roses are red

wine-dark is the sea

my boyfriend is dead

time for a killing spree

Oedipus

roses are red

a hue like no other

you know, valentine,

you’re just like my mother?

Catullus

my girl’s eyes are swollen

her sparrow is dead

but is that just a metaphor

for my dick instead?

Cato

roses are red

space is black like a void

who cares about love

Carthage must be destroyed

Poseidon

Roses are red

like bitter regret 

I’m god of the ocean 

let me make you wet ;)

Odysseus

My wife is at home

but babe, let’s forget her; 

I’ll show you a good time

‘cause Nobody’s better

Athena 

Roses are red

violets are red 

everything is red 

I love war

Apollo

Roses are red

but I haven’t got any

all of my lovers

have turned into botany

Prometheus

I’ve bought you some roses

‘cause babe, I’m a giver

say you’ll be mine

I’ll really de-liver

Zeus

Roses are red

violets are blue

shit, Hera’s coming - 

Julius Caesar

Roses are red, 

And so is my blood.

What the fuck Brutus?

I thought we were good! 

Pompey

Roses are red,

My pate’s on a plate.

Ptolemy got head

On our first date. 

Crassus

Gold is not red, 

It’s yellow like honey. 

Your house is on fire,

So give me your money. 

Porcia

Embers are red,

The hottest fire’s blue.

I swallowed these coals

So you’d know I was true. 

Cato the Younger

Entrails are red.

You can’t keep me in stitches. 

I ripped my guts open.

Fuck all you bitches. 

Catilina

I see two bodies. 

They’re me and you. 

I fucked a Vestal. 

I fucked your dad, too. 

Clodius 

Roses are red, 

I have three hot sisses.  

I put on a dress

And I nailed Caesar’s missus. 

@raisel-the-riveter DEAL WITH THIS IT’S YOUR FAULT. 

Cicero

Violets are indigo,

Roses are crimson.

Silver my tongue is,

Like Fulvia’s hairpin. 

Mark Antony

Roses are red,

And violets bucolic. 

I’m Marcus Antonius

And I’m an alcoholic. 

@raisel-the-riveter I CAN’T STOP. 

!!! OH MY GOD

OHHHH! I can do this!

Ovid

Roses are red

I’m in exile

I pissed off Augustus

I might be here a while

---

Virgil

:To be edited:

Roses are red?

Please burn this poem

After I’m dead.

---

Sappho

Roses are red

Women are hot

I’m really fucking gay

Don’t act like I’m not

---

Dido

My blood is red

You think you’re a hero?

I hope you drown

omnibus umbra locis adero

(via ripleytwd)

i-am-the-unicorn-triumphant:

I’m watching a documentary in my us government class and they guy was saying how many of the founding fathers would blush and shy away from the fact that they were looked up to as gods and then it started playing some funky rock music and panned down to Alexander Hamilton and said, “Most of them that is.”

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

nimblermortal:

azzandra:

gentileproblems:

During Victor Hugo’s funeral, most of the brothels in Paris closed down because all the prostitutes were in mourning for their best client #trufax

“No way that’s true,” I thought as I looked this up, thus starting the day by proving myself terribly wrong.

“A police source informed Edmond Goncourt that the brothels were shuttered and the city’s prostitutes had bedecked their crotches with black crepe in honor of the great man’s passing.” x

(Source: witch-of-habonim-dror, via lupinatic)

anotheralexandros:

I was cleaning out my high school Google drive folders, and I just found my old study group’s guide for the AP US History exam. one of our notes is “if two people are arguing and you can only remember one of their names, the other is Alexander Hamilton.”

(via bonehandledknife)

thepurposeofplaying:

theprettygoodgatsby:

my favorite part of hamlet is at the beginning when they see the ghost of hamlet sr for the first time

and the guards are like “Horatio, you go talk to it! You went to college!”

and Horatio is like “Yeah! I did go to college! I will go talk to the ghost!”

like. where did horatio go to college. did he go to ghost college

YES, ACTUALLY YES HE FUCKING DID BC

(a) EVERY COLLEGE THEN WAS GHOST COLLEGE bc ghosts were widely believed to be Real™ n thus scholars learnt abt them. moreover, as everybody knows, ghosts only communicate in Latin; Latin is the scholastic language. Horatio is a scholar, thus both knows abt ghosts and knows Latin, so it is very reasonable to assume he will b able to ask this one what up (as obviously sth must b up 4 it 2b wandering around, why else wld it b here, gawd, this is like. the most basic of basic-level shit)

(B) WITTENBERG WHERE HORATIO STUDIES WAS LIKE. T H E MOST SPOOPY OF GHOST COLLEGES bc they were alllllll about theology n the supernatural n shit so SUPPOSING HORATIO WILL KNO HIS SHIT ABT GHOSTS IS IN FACT A THOROUGHLY SENSIBLE ASSUMPTION

this has been said before but i am fucking adding it again bc it HACKS ME TF OFF when ppl reblog the post w/o commentary as if OP jsut fucking checkmated Shakespeare when in fact all they managed to do was fail at the most basic historical contextualisation of this scene n make a fcuking fool of emselves lmao

You’re my favorite.  All others need not apply.

(Source: corvidcall, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)