So in my research for my thesis, I learned a thing, and it’s not useful for my thesis so I’m posting it here instead.  

Okay, so, everyone knows that the words canon and cannon are not synonyms, and if you’re like me it kind of makes your teeth grind when people talk about firing the canons or historical cannon.  BUT HERE’S THE THING.  The word canon is a direct lift from Latin, and it means law or rule.  And so when heavy metal guns were developed and needed to be called something other than ‘that big murder machine over there’, the word cannon developed directly out of canon in the sense of “to lay down the law,” the same way Samuel Colt’s gun got called the Peacemaker.  Likewise, ordnance comes directly from the Latin ordinance, which also got transferred directly into English as another synonym for ‘rule.’

And that is your totally useless historical fun fact of the day.

lovelyladylunacy:

lovelyladylunacy:

socialjusticethespian:

lovelyladylunacy:

lareinaxcvi:

lovelyladylunacy:

why does no one ever talk about how lewis and clark met why isn’t that taught in history classes it’s like some rom-com meet-funny trope and i’ve literally never heard it brought up. literally the start of one of the most famous friendships in america and no one talks about it.

Wasn’t Clark just Lewis’ commanding officer? I guess I don’t know this story either. Can you tell it?

yes!! oh my god!!

so at twenty-one years of age, stupid stubborn hotheaded ensign meriwether lewis decides to get hella drunk and crash the party of one of his superior officers, starting an argument over politics (namely, defending thomas jefferson, his neighbor and veritable father figure) and insulting his host and basically being an embarrassment. so, he’s arrested and leveled with a court martial!! because this ridiculous boy can’t mind his fucking manners when he’s tipsy apparently!!

but instead of having to explain to his poor mother why he got booted out of the continental army, he’s acquitted (”with honor” bc apparently i’m not the only one who plays favorites when it comes to meriwether lewis), but he has to be reassigned so he doesn’t piss off his commanding officer again (awk). and whose brand new sharp-shooting rifle unit does he get transferred to?? take a wild guess!!!! that’s right, william clark’s!!!! and over the next six months meri falls deepfuck in totally platonic bro-love with him until clark resigns his commission for family reasons. then, roughly eight years later, lewis writes him to ask if maybe he’d like to travel to the ends of the earth by his side and, well, the rest is history.

But how do you know it was platonic

i hope you guys understand that when i say “platonic” i say it in the patronizing sarcastic tone of voice i always use when i talk about meriwether lewis’s big ol’ crush on his bff. maybe i can’t prove totally that he was v gay and probably at least a little bit madly in love with clark, but damn i wanna believe love exists ok.

lewis’s obvious sexual repulsion of women, his inability to find a wife, his desire to live with clark after the expedition, that last letter he wrote to clark before his violent death that we don’t have because clark burned it – we can read a lot into all of this if we want to, but even besides all of that the point remains that meriwether lewis was intensely fond of clark, and that they cared deeply for one another, and that their personalities complemented and completed one another in a way that makes you think twice about soulmates.

actually, sacagawea was a sixteen-year-old kidnapped shoshone girl sold into sexual slavery to a french trader named toussaint charbonneau, who pissed power couple lewis and clark off to no end due to generally just being who he was as a person.

whereas lewis had no real interest in women from what we can tell from his writings, he actually wrote about how much he admired sacagawea’s extreme fortitude and numerous skills that helped them throughout their journey. lewis also actually delivered sacagawea’s child!! she had a very difficult birth (probably because she was a child), which sent lewis into multiple kinds of panic. clark, however, really doted on sacagawea and her son; he gave them both nicknames, looked out for their safety during the trip, and was very close to them even after the expedition and ended up adopting sacagawea’s son. he was also a notoriously bad speller and i don’t think he ever spelt charbonneau’s name correctly ever not even once (which makes me think of the blenderdick cucumberpatch meme tbh).

(via permets-tu-not-permettez-vous)

moonsofavalon:

bumbleandbumble:

northcentralpositronics:

northcentralpositronics:

freyadragonlord:

radio-freedunmovin:

answersfromvanaheim:

sapphichands:

hobbitcreampuff:

But what about vampire history teachers. Vampires who read something from a text book then proceed to light the book on fire and throw it out the window because “No. that’s not even close to what really happened. Listen up nerds I’m about to teach you what really happened in France during the revolution”

I need this as a series

Vampires sharing the recipe for Greek fire.

Vampires speaking in dead languages.

Vampires being able to translate untranslatable scripts.

Vampires who react to straightwashing historical figures like “Are you kidding me everyone knew that man was queer!”

Vampires from cultures who were once antagonistic towards each other stubbornly maintaining a friendship that’s lasted longer than their civilizations.

Vampires who honour forgotten deities you won’t find in mythology books.

Also, vampires who secretly saved stuff from the Library of Alexandra.

A vampire show that does not revolve all around sex and eternal cursed love.

nerd vampire whose knowledge of current events is terrible but they can always remember everything that’s considered “history” so they have a super-detailed knowledge of everything up to about thirty years ago and then ?????

vampire who couldn’t tell you what caravaggio was known for but duelled with him at least three times and slept with him at least ten. “cara-who OH YOU MEAN MICHAEL yeah he was cool”

vampire who spent 100 years in a convent and is still so bitter that in all that time they never made her mother superior “GODDAMMIT I HAD SENIORITY! I HAD SENIORITY!” “okay so first off janet, that was six hundred years ago, but more importantly, maybe if you didn’t always start those complaints off with blasphemy…”

vampire professor who just sort of showed up at oxford when it was founded and is still there (and nobody’s noticed because he still never actually shows up to his lectures)

vampire politician who lifts all their campaign speeches wholesale from speeches given 200 years ago and just waits for someone to catch them out (nobody ever does they’re prime minister and their approval ratings are through the roof)

WAIT I HAVE MORE

queer vampire who constantly talks about the fashion for straightness and you need to be really careful because if you tell them straight is default they WILL scream at you for five days straight about what a modern concept heterosexuality is

vampire hoarder who has an entire town where they just kept having to buy new houses to keep their stuff in and some of it’s probably worth tens of millions by now but you’ll never find it in among the 1950s kitschy kitten sculptures and boxes of newspaper (the newspaper is a wonderful mix of yesterday’s guardian and daily courants from 1725)

vampire sailor from manderville’s time who just has so many stories and some of them might even be true

vampire bluestocking girl who took to the internet like a fish to water and spends her whole unlife engaging reddit antifeminists about women’s rights because that’s one fight she’s determined to see through. also with the advent of cheap dyes she literally wears blue socks every day and hopes one day someone gets the joke

vampire doctor who just gets SO CONFUSED about the literature because do you know how hard it is to keep up with medicine kevin? when i got my doctorate we thought leeches were good and then they were bad and now they’re good again? i was published in issue one of the lancet kevin that is 387 lancets kevin how the hell am i meant to remember which one’s current kevin why are they saying cannabis is good for pain like this is news??? (but also lives in a state of wonderment every day in hospital because wow look at all this stuff we can do now look at it kevin!)

entire coven of vampires constantly quibbling over manners because they’re all from different periods: “HATS OFF AT TABLE” “SCREW YOU LEONARD ONLY PEASANTS EAT BAREHEADED” “TABITHA THAT HASN’T BEEN GOOD MANNERS SINCE THE 1500S NOBODY HAS LICE ANY MORE” “IT ISN’T ABOUT LICE LEONARD IT’S ABOUT GOOD MANNERS YOU NEED TO HAVE GOOD MANNERS WHEN YOU HAVE PEOPLE OVER FOR DINNER” “I SWEAR TO GOD TABITHA IF YOU MAKE THAT PUN ONE MORE TIME I WILL SHOVE YOUR STUPID HAT DOWN YOUR THROAT”

vampire musicians who might not have been child prodigies but goddammit 500 years of practicing an instrument is bound to get you somewhere (also knowing the composer and being the first person to start playing a song doesn’t hurt either)

my favorite will always be vampires who know fuck-all about the standard major historical events because they were always somewhere else whenever big shit was going down:

“yeah i heard about the hundred years war but i was in northern african at the time so…”

“the roman empire fell??? how did the fucking roman empire fall??? i spend a fucking handful of decades in india and i come back to this???”

“russia needs to stop having revolutions, i can’t keep them all straight…”

“when did france become a democracy?? and america’s now it’s own country??? i’ve spent the last century in a forest in wallachia scaring small children so––wHat dO yOU meAn we’re calling it romania now??? when the fuck did it become romania???”

“WE HAD A WORLD WAR??? WE HAD TWO WORLD WARS???? well obviously ‘world’ is an exaggeration because i heard nothing about it while i was lost in the amazon rainforest for the last fifty years…”

“listen i spent most of the fourteenth century as a pirate in the south china sea so someone’s gonna had to clue me in on all this ‘black plague’ nonsense.”

(Source: haughtssockgun, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

rejectedprincesses:

thequantumqueer:

rejectedprincesses:

vmthecoyote:

rejectedprincesses:

Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz ( 1651-1695): the Phoenix of Mexico

There is SO MUCH MORE INFORMATION at the main site entry - 28 footnotes worth! Before you start going off about “why doesn’t she have a movie” (she does), or “this detail isn’t right!” please go there and read up.

Art notes and shout-outs behind the cut.

(and here’s a shortcut if you want to pre-order the book!)

Keep reading

ALSO SHE WAS A LESBIAN

Possibly.  

The tl;dr version, which I mentioned in the footnotes: “She might have been a lesbian, there’s not enough evidence.”

Longer version behind the cut. 

Keep reading

i can’t read what she wrote in blood?

It reads:

Juana Ines de La Cruz
The Worst of All

(which is how she actually signed things, albeit in Spanish. that’s even a copy of her real signature.)


(via murdered-by-fandoms)

archaeologicals:

fun facts!

  • leonardo da vinci was a year younger than christopher columbus.
  • stalin, freud, Ttto, trotsky and hitler walk into a bar……no really, it’s possible since they all lived in vienna in 1913.
  • aristotle tutored alexander the great.
  • abraham lincoln was twelve when napoleon bonaparte died.
  • an unusually well-traveled person in 5th century BC could have conceivably met confucius, lao tze, the buddha and socrates over the course of a seventy year life.
  • pharaohs and mammoths existed at the same time.
  • pocahontas and william shakespeare died, in the same country, less than a year apart from each other. 
  • oxford university is older than the aztec empire.

(via clockwork-mockingbird)

catbountry:

mllemusketeer:

fuck-yeah-classic-monsters:

fantasticfelicityfox:

My favorite part about 1931 Dracula is that there are armadillos running around Dracula’s castle.

Look at this it’s like they couldn’t find any rats so they just were like “eh close enough no one will notice”. But I noticed. I noticed.

“WE NAILED IT BOYS”

Apparently in the 20s and 30s, armadillos weren’t very commonly known, so moviemakers would use them wherever they needed some creepy, ‘demonic’ animal running around. So there were a lot of armadillos in early filmmaking, and it was often people’s only source of reference for armadillos.

Fast forward twenty years to when the father of the biology professor who told me this is driving out from the east coast to see his son in California. Crossing the southwest at night.

An armadillo runs across the road. 

He comes to a screeching halt and the Thing Of Evil, which he never knew was actually a real animal, trots the rest of the way across the road and vanishes into the desert.

Apparently it shook him up rather a bit.

The post got better.

(via history-jokes)

slyrider:

babyseaotter:

castiel-knight-of-hell:

asculan:

smurflewis:

hephaistionisawesome:

smurflewis:

philalexandros-heph:

Reading the iliad is so crazy because like alexander the great was reading this story over 2000 years ago?? he probably wrote fanfiction about achilles and patroclus and told hephaestion his headcanons?? life is absurd

HE DID THO. HE ACTUALLY DID.

ALEXANDER THE GREAT WAS HELLA GAY AND WROTE GAY FANFICTION OF THE GAYEST PEOPLE IN ANCIENT GREECE.

I’m not even kidding. Achilles and Patriclus were hella gay Ancient Greek warriors; like the Illiad (the number one source for all things Greek) has half the book dedicated to their relationship.

Alexander the Great wrote 57 papers about them. HE WROTE 57 ESSAYS ON THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AND WHAT HE THOUGHT THEY WOULD DO IF THEY LIVED IN HIS TIME PERIOD.

ALEXANDER THE GREAT WROTE MODERN AU GAY FANFICTION

And it gets EVEN GAYER

He constantly refers to himself and his “guy pal” Hephaestion as having the same relationship as Achilles and Patroclus

He literally talks about how he and his best friend were like WELL
KNOWN ANCIENT LOVERS.

Don’t think it can get gayer?
THINK AGAIN

Alexander and Hephaestion visit the graves of Achilles and Patroclus and laid down flowers in honor for them, stripped naked, and ran a race in their honor. After words they SENT THEIR SERVANT AWAY TO SPEND THE NIGHT ALONE AT THE MEMORIAL.

This isn’t a myth, this is actual documented history. It’s all true. I don’t have sources because I learned about this a few years ago in my history class in college but google it I promise you.

Wow, 57 essays. Alexander must have had a lot of free time on his hands.

The reason you don’t have sources is that this didn’t happen.

I TOOK 15 MINUTES

Cartledge, Paul. Alexander the Great: The Hunt for a New Past. Woodstock, NY; New York: The Overlook Press, 2004

Wilcken, Ulrich, Alexander the Great, W. W. Norton & Company; Reissue edition (March 1997)

~follow for more soft historical homosexuality~

Alexander the Great lived in a time when travel was slow and he got to travel in a carriage, meaning he didn’t have to worry about controlling a horse. He had plenty of free time to read and write, there was little else to do on long carriage rides. 

@maurypovichofficial

@words-writ-in-starlight
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
“ dxrk-sxxls:
“ thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
“ johannesviii:
“ silverilly:
“ bookshop:
“ mydaywithd:
“ Julie D’Aubigny was a 17th-century bisexual French opera singer and fencing master who killed or wounded at least ten...

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

dxrk-sxxls:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

johannesviii:

silverilly:

bookshop:

mydaywithd:

Julie D’Aubigny was a 17th-century bisexual French opera singer and fencing master who killed or wounded at least ten men in life-or-death duels, performed nightly shows on the biggest and most highly-respected opera stage in the world, and once took the Holy Orders just so that she could sneak into a convent and shag a nun.

(via Feminism)

bisexual opera singer who killed ten men and snuck into a convent to shag a nun.

Just so y'all know, she later set that convent on fire so she and that nun could sneak out. And she seduced one of the men she’d dueled.

Mademoiselle de Maupin (Julie d’Aubigny) has always been one of my role models. I’m so glad this post exists so more people can learn about her. The more you know, the more there’s to love. Let’s see:

  • Around 1678 (she was like fourteen or fifteen), she was making a living in Marseilles by doing fencing exhibitions, dressed in male clothes, with her boyfriend who was on the run because he killed a guy in an illegal duel in Paris.
  • Then she joined an opera company and fell in love with a young woman, but the woman’s parents decided to put her in a convent to, you know, protect her honor and all that…
  • …so yeah, that’s when the whole “sneaking into a convent to help a nun sneak out and also putting the room on fire” thing happened.
  • She wounded a guy through the shoulder with a sword in a duel because he had made fun of her clothes. They became friends after she came back a few days later to ask if he was okay.
  • She beat a singer who was quite famous at the time because he was being a jerk to some women from her new opera troupe in Paris.
  • She kissed a young woman in front of everyone at a society ball, and that angered three noblemen who were there, so she beat them all in duel and fled to Brussels. Then she resumed her opera career there.
  • Then she returned to the Paris opera and had yet more problems with the law because she beat up her landlord.
  • She retired to a convent after the death of her love Madame la Marquise de Florensac, and died at only 33 years old.
  • The legend says that she never got arrested for all her deeds because king Louis XIV thought she was way too entertaining to deserve death. I have no idea if that’s true. But she did sing in Versailles for the Court, so there’s that.

She’s back on my dash!

The woman who is, no word of a lie, MY PERSONAL HERO :D

How badass can you be to basically get a lifetime pardon from the king?!

Julie D’aubigny: It’s okay I have a note from the king

“Julie can do what she wants - King Louis XIV”

(via faiththegoodslayer)

pilferingapples:

tenlittlebullets:

storytellerluna:

selenethedaydreamingwriter:

The real tragedy about the barricade is that we don’t know how much is true. Victor Hugo was there at the June Rebellion, so what is fact and what is fiction? That question gives me chills because we’ll never know. 

Charles Jeanne (who I think is probably actual real life Enjolras) wrote an in-detail account of the ACTUAL barricades in a letter to his sister after the fact

you can read it, tenlittlebullets translated it into English :)

it’s really graphic, he leaves no gory details out, just FYI if you’re gonna read it, keep TW: VIOLENCE  in mind

#how is he real-life enjolras if he survived (via metellus-cimber)

I’m so glad somebody asked this, because the answer is: when they finally ran out of ammunition, Charles Jeanne rounded up everyone who was still standing, went, “look, if we’re going to die, we might as well die fighting,” and led a suicidal ten-man charge against an entire flippin’ infantry column, armed with nothing but bayonets. The first few ranks of soldiers were so unprepared for such a spectacularly insane attack that they were too surprised to shoot. They crossed bayonets and tried to hold the insurgents off in hand-to-hand combat, but Jeanne’s swordsmanship was apparently aces, because he held off a bunch of them at once and covered his friends as they tried to breach the ranks. And once they were in, nobody could shoot them for fear of taking out their own guys.

So the last stand that the insurgents had intended as a noble suicide ended in them breaking through the ranks entirely and winding up in the next street over, outside the combat zone, going “well shit, what do we do now?” (I’m guessing the infantry column wasn’t very deep; central Paris at that point was a rabbit warren of narrow twisty streets, and assembling troops en masse for an organized attack was a logistical nightmare.) Unlike the National Guard, the army weren’t total chumps and got themselves turned around to give chase and start shooting once they weren’t at risk of friendly fire any longer… and that’s when all the civilians holed up in their houses went “no way, you’re not getting your hands on these crazy bastards” and started hurling furniture and crockery down on the soldiers’ heads. Jeanne was understandably distracted at the time, but afterwards somebody informed him that the barrage of unlikely projectiles included a piano. A piano. That is some straight-up Looney Tunes slapstick right there. No wonder Hugo went for the heroic death scene instead; if he’d stuck to real life, he probably would’ve gotten complaints that he’d wrecked his readers’ suspension of disbelief.

Anyway, someone opened an alley gate for them to shelter in and take stock of the casualties—most of them survived(!!!), but a few were pretty nastily wounded. Their host then had to lock Charles Jeanne in to keep him from charging right back out and taking on the whole goddamn army singlehanded. He probably would’ve broken down the door if the poor man hadn’t pointed out that going back out would give away his wounded comrades’ hiding place and the identities of the people sheltering them. They sat there listening to the gunfire gradually slow and go silent, and then in the middle of the night the ones who could still walk were allowed to slip away one by one at long intervals from each other. Charles Jeanne went straight home, slept like the dead for a few hours, was woken up at five in the morning with a warning that he’d been denounced and the building was surrounded, and then slipped out in disguise and managed to evade the police for four months before a former comrade ratted him out and he was arrested.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why Charles Jeanne’s letter is an absolute treasure that deserves to be available to anyone in Les Mis fandom who wants to read it. Incidentally, “how Actual Historical Enjolras survived the barricades by being too good at his suicide mission” is also one of the stories I tell when anyone asks me what the hell is so interesting about researching people nobody’s ever heard of from an obscure chapter of French history. 

#charles jeanne#what a BAMF#and then he managed to derail the whole trial with impassioned noble speeches and dramatic gestures worthy of a Hugo play#while visibly dying of consumption#seriously how was this dude even real#saint merry#june rebellion#à cinq heures nous serons tous morts#1832#history geeking ahoy

(Source: jiubilee, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)