thorinsmut:

a blog: *follows me*

me, an aged monarch lounging on my fur-strewn throne, gesturing for my servant to bring me my monacle: Bring them here! Bring them here, I say. Let me look at them.

guards: *drag the unwitting blog before me*

me, peering intently at the new blog and poking them with my scepter: Is this a real person? Hmm? What have you to say for yourself? What are your fandoms? Your interests? Speak up, these old ears aren’t what they used to be.

guards, tentatively: they do seem to be a real person, sire. We found them in possession of several memes and a fandom rant.

me, subsiding back into my sumptuous furs and waving them away: most extraordinary. It has been an age since there was a real person, but just as well, the dungeons have been overflowing with those tacky pornbots. This newcomer may remain in my domain. Make them welcome. And fetch me a quill! I feel a ficlet coming on…

(via wildehacked)

hollowsgodric:

Has anyone else been the designated Harry Potter Friend™ in various groups of people……like whenever Harry Potter is mentioned, everyone looks at you because they Know

(Source: diagonally, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

kinesisboomer:

kinesisboomer:

When that friend is a wild card with headcanons and you don’t know if they’re about to share angst or fluff


(via clockwork-mockingbird)

  • Brain: wow lol you have so much to do
  • Me: yeah how about I start on that
  • Brain: no you're not allowed
  • Brain: you still have to be really distressed about it tho</p>
soofjam:
“ @badwolfhowls
”

dukeofbookingham:

Just told one of my friends I owed her a favor and her immediate response was “I’ll call you when I need someone murdered” and without thinking I said “Do you want them to suffer or just disappear” so that’s who I am in the friend group

leejubilation:

Oh, good, he’s seventeen!

(Source: neenathurmann, via lathori)

aegontargaryen:

*thinking of tragic backstory for your OCs*

(Source: terushimasyuuji, via clockwork-mockingbird)

bopeep:

who else is blossoming into a beautiful young woman with no chill

(via starwarsisgay)

theashlynwinchester:

*writes smut that accidentally turns into angst* *slams head against wall* I WRITE SINS NOT TRAGEDIES

(Source: cats-coffee-catastrophe, via starwarsisgay)