Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

satanstrousers:

1994-2016:

stylinsonxhealy:

satanstrousers:

One of my friends asked me the other day if I would suck one thousand dicks for a billion dollars, and I love questions like that because not only are they so demonstrative of the no-homo society we live in, but they also show a fundamental lack of understanding that some people have for the value of money. Like, do you realize just how much money one billion dollars is? Do you realize I could live my life in the lap of luxury buying literally everything I could ever want and still have a fortune to leave to my children?? For sucking some dicks?? We are talking 1 million dollars per dick sucked!! That’s just economical like come on man.

1 billion dollars and all you’d have to do is suck a dick every day for the next 2.7 years. That’s it. Plenty of people already do that. You could quit your job and literally suck dick for a living. You could suck two dicks a day and only have to suck dick for 1.4 years. You could suck 5 dicks a day for about 6 months. 5 DICKS A DAY FOR 6 MONTHS FOR A BILLION DOLLARS, OF COURSE I’LL FUCKIN DO THAT. THAT’S THE DREAM, THAT’S FUCKIN HEAVEN.

and here i was thinking about sucking dick for free

I haven’t seen this on my dash in a while and I think now is as good a time as any to tell you guys that this post got big enough to get to facebook, where it was seen by my cousin, who brought it up at a family event which ended in me defending sucking 1000 dicks to my very religious family

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

ikimaru:

imploder:

thatonequeerkid:

vandigo:

kimreesesdaughter:

nickionthemtittieswhenisignit:

nappyhurrdontcare:

kimreesesdaughter:

kimreesesdaughter:

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

THIS JOINT!!!!

BITCHHHHHHH. I got on this shit when I was 12. Wasn’t no bar, no protection, nothing in that shit. I didn’t realize until it was too late. You couldn’t pay me to ever get on this shit ever again in my life. We were in Landover, this shit almost smooth flipped my ass to Baltimore. No. Never again. 

12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.

?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????

centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.

Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho

Sunny tell them about the cages

most of ours have a cage on both ends for those feeling extra brave, you just stand there on your feet, hold on to he bars and scream as you get completely lifted off the ground when it comes down at full speed

(via littlestartopaz)

ialreadyreadthatfanfic:

Since you can’t add comments underneath chat posts, I’m making a whole new post for @cadesama‘s tags underneath that “give me your hairdryer” incorrect quote:

#star wars#i actually like the idea that anakin’s idea of civilians is 100% formed by padme#you’re not carrying a blaster bail? what?#do you need to go and change clothes before the mission bail? riyo?#no judgment #just bafflement

Because this made me crave an Anakin/Padme/Bail team up in the worst way. Imagine all three of them send on some diplomatic mission that goes south. Padme and Anakin instantly enter into Battle Couple mode, with Bail trailing bewildered after them.

Anakin, readying his lightsaber: We’ve got a problem, better take out your blasters.

Bail: What?

Padme: *takes out her blaster*

Bail: What?

Anakin, confused: Bail, did you forget your blaster?

Bail: I don’t take a blaster to a peaceful negotiations!

Padme, taking out a second blaster: Don’t worry, you can borrow mine.

Bail, now equipped with a blaster: What??

(via thefreakwiththewings)

shorm:

shorm:

shorm:

There are two types of people in the world: those who react to learning that you can use touch screens with your tongue with disgust and those who immediately go to lick their phones.

i’m gonna go ahead and assume that the reason this doesn’t have many notes is because you’re all too busy making out with your phones

i’m so glad this has taken off because

i was right

(Source: shorm, via littlestartopaz)

littlestartopaz:

badlydressedwriter:

writing-prompt-s:

It is modern day America, but everyone speaks in Shakespearean English. You are a gamer raging out during an online multiplayer match.

“Know that when I requesteth a physician that my needs are in fact, most often, greater than those needs you are currently seeing to.”

“Are you saying, fair Genji, that your ills are greater than theirs?”

“Indeed I am, I put it unto thee, fairest Mercy, that I am in fact the single professional on this team.”

“The single professional? I bite my thumb at this comment.”

“You would Soldier, you cad.”

“This art a quick match, thou art all blaggards of a base and knavish nature.”

“How dare thee sir, I would say however that I have but one retort to such a comment.”

“I dare thee speak it, though I envision it some childe’s attempt at biting one’s thumb.”

“I haft lain with thine mother.”

(Reaper Has disconnected from the voice chat)

@words-writ-in-starlight Two good ones from the notes: @not-spider-man “SUCKETH THY ASS GENJI” @peridootandthemagicalpoot Did you mean: Hailton the Musical?

(via littlestartopaz)

copperbadge:

dukeofbookingham:

hanadoodles:

a song called ‘disco inferno’ just came up on my dash and i automatically registered it as “i learn by means of hell” before i realised the title was actually english and not latin

“I learn by means of hell,” forthcoming rap album from Doctor Faustus

When we figured out that’s what Disco Inferno meant (we translated it as “I learn through suffering”), it became the motto of our Latin class at college, and the unofficial motto of my undergrad. 

(Source: hanadoodles-archive, via lupinatic)