Marco: maybe I can hack the computer and put up some firewalls and-
Ax: no offense but I’m from fucking space let me hack the computer
(via beesandstrangers)
Head Canon: The Avengers and Interviews
Anonymous asked: Okay, after the Fox News incident, I have to ask, how do the Avengers do on press interviews?
The Avengers are made up of a sharp-tongued billionaire with a short fuse, an easily insulted God, a traumatized scientist with BREATHTAKING anger management issues, a sullen and smart mouthed sniper, a spy with a cloaked past and the ability to kill with a look and Steve Rogers.
How the hell do you think interviews go?
but did victor frankenstein actually have a phd
no one’s answered my question
THIS MOTHERFUCKER WAS AN UNDERGRAD
IMAGINE HEARING ABOUT THE DUDEBRO LIVING NEXT TO U IN THE DORMS “yah dave dropped out cuz he built a fucking person”
victor frankenstein was a little bITCH and he had no degree at all, he was at college for like, a year and then he was like “lol these bitches ain’t got nothing on me” and he just got an apartment and stopped going to school so he could build a person. i don’t think he even formally dropped out, he just kind of disappeared and nobody even questioned it because that’s what you expect when some cocky asshole comes to class like “i know more than everyone in this school and one day i’m going to prove it by ending dEATH ITSELF”
fucking bullshit victor, come home and eat some goddamn soup you wussass teenager
fucking trashass motherfucker 19 year old sin machine
go get ur liver pecked by birds u mess of a human being
i am never going to let the world forget that victor frankenstein spent 90% of the novel moping instead of doing literally anything else. actual quote from emo kid victor frankenstein “my only solace was silence - deep, dark, deathlike silence” like HOW EXTRA
You’d almost think Mary Shelly was taking inspiration from someone she knew….
Leave Lord Byron alone
Lord Byron deserves what he gets and he knows it
This is the kind of discourse our world needs
For your morning reading pleasure. Just try eating breakfast whilst giggling over this.
(via fireflyca)
dadd:
I’m crying I think I want a sloth now
what even are sloths
Animate coconut
“thank you… for the treat… but I am not current… ly hungry so… I will come and… hug you… :^)”
(Source: alexander, via ofgeography)
@thisblogisdesigner watch this PLS
#what i wanna know is what was the call between channing tatum and beyonce like. #did they know each other beforehand. #did he have to ask a friend for her number. #was he like “hey beyonce…you don’t know me…i got your number from ll cool j.” #“listen i’m doing celebrity lip sync and i wondered if i could ask a favor of you???” #q (ofgeography)
Also: (1) i like to think queen bey took that phone call on a gold phone, solid gold, while being fed grapes, (2) I also like to think she said, “absolutely but on the condition that you treat your part of this with deadly seriousness. I will just not come out if I do not see your A game.” to which channing was like, “i ALWAYS bring my a game to The Dance” and she was like, “i like this one, he may pay homage to me.” (3) she descends on this event like a god in a renaissance play being lifted down in a golden chariot. she arrives in all her glory and then vanishes into the night, magic accomplished. (4) channing tatum is absolutely correct, the rules of decorum clearly state that you bow to queen bey as soon as The Dance is done, those are the RULES
(Source: hpbruno)
Meet Frank. (photos by OhSweetFancy)
This may be my new favorite post.
(via ifeelbetterer)
he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser
Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin can’t find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name.
I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid
the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again
I’d like to remind everyone again that it’s literally canon that Vader can’t step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down
aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere
i d o n t l i k e s a n d
okay but what if everyone was like ‘vader, kenobi’s on tattooine. he’s obviously on tattooine. he’s been there for years. he’s just right fucking there, we all know it.’ and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like they’re magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like ‘no i don’t like that try again’.
kenobi’s just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesn’t need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say ‘COME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SAND’ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate.
palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino
‘he’s on tattooine,’ palpatine says.
‘nuh uh,’ vader says, and peers under a couch.
(via windbladess)
Anonymous asked: Goddamn, i did not know you spoke latin properly. i only know like two phrases. i am so glad anon is a thing that exists rn.
Pfffft, corculum, let’s not pretend “ability to talk dirty in Latin” is a life skill here, okay? I took a couple years and read some Catullus/Virgil, and then our teacher had us translate erotica as a reward for all of us doing well on a test. He’s a weird dude.
But on the other hand I’ve been pretty depressed tonight and talking dirty in a dead language made me feel good about myself, so gratias tibi ago, corculum meum, teque amo.
I can’t stop thinking about the wisecrack carrie fisher would make about debbie reynolds dying a day after her: the joke about her family, always bringing the drama, the ‘she couldn’t stand to let me have all the attention even when I had just died. I want you all to remember that I did it first.’
I like to imagine her in the afterlife adding material to her stand up: ‘I’m really disappointed to be here tonight, I was hoping I’d get to haunt george lucas for that metal bikini.’ ‘do you know how long the line for this place is? I flipped off nancy reagan and fidel castro on the way in. ’ ‘when I said dear lord please don’t let me live to see that orange buffoon be president I should have been a helluva lot more specific.’
playing to a sold out audience, her mother in the front row. bowie and rickman at a table in the back.
(via primarybufferpanel)
