Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

kyraneko:

radioactivepeasant:

lafemmedefandom:

radioactivepeasant:

lafemmedefandom:

radioactivepeasant:

Well out of the blue I just remembered today the time I accidentally joined the cast of a production of The Princess Bride….in the middle of the production.

And you’re gonna just leave us there

I mean, if you guys wanna hear the story, it is a pretty fun one

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Okay, so this is what happened,

Some years ago (6? 7 years ago, I think?) there was a pirate exhibit at the state museum. We had actual artifacts from the Queen Anne’s Revenge, creepy wax dummies, historical costumes etc, it was awesome.

I was really into Pirates of the Caribbean at the time, because I played the mmorpg with some high school friends of mine (and some of their parents sometimes, who also got addicted to it), so of course when they announced “Pirate Night at the Museum”, in which visitors were encouraged to dress up, I was over the moon. So I’m there with my friends, my parents, and my sisters, running around the exhibits after the museum is technically closed.

They replaced the creepy wax dummies with people in costume at this point, and it was pretty epic.

The highlight of the night would be a showing of The Princess Bride. The movie would play on the big screen while actors would be on a stage below, acting the whole thing out word for word and shot for shot as it happened. Any audience members who knew lines were encouraged to shout them out as they heard them.

Here’s the thing. My parents love that movie. Like you don’t understand they were quoting it to us in its entirety when we were still in highchairs. I could reenact the battle of wits scene before I ever actually watched it. So my family sits in the front row, behind the railing, quoting everything right along with the actors and film.

And then comes the part in the Pit of Despair with the Albino.
And the cast didn’t have anyone on the stage with Wesley. 
I don’t know if the Albino couldn’t make it that night, or if they’d never cast him, but it was really weird to see Wesley just lying on the stage awkwardly while the Albino is supposed to be treating his injuries.

I started twitching. My mom and sister look at me and they’re like “do it.” And one of the ushers is like “you know the part? do it”

So I launch over the railing, run up onto the stage, and take over from there, doing my best impression of the character. Being that I was a 5′2″ blonde girl in a corset and puffy sleeves, Wesley had some trouble keeping a straight face.

Then they got to the scene with Humperdink telling the guard to clear out the Thieves’ Forest, and…they didn’t have the guard either. So my twin sister up in the audience is like “hang on, I got this” and then she launches over the railing to make sure Humperdink isn’t just sitting awkwardly talking to thin air.

This meant that yes, I got bopped on the noggin by Fezzik, and yes, my sister got to do the
“Give us the key.”
“What key?”
“Fezzik, tear his arms off.”
“Oh, you mean this key!” 

They made up stay on stage and take a bow with the cast when it was over, it was hilarious. Then the next year, since they still had the exhibit, the museum called my sister and was like, “So….that was super fun last year. Do you and your sister want to be audience plants and do it again this year?”

The answer, naturally, was heck yes. Since we had new volunteers playing Count Rugen and Inigo this time, this also led to my sister actually choreographing their fight scene herself. Which was awesome.

That is fucking amazing.

(via windbladess)

maelace:

littlestartopaz:

radioactivepeasant:

wetwareproblem:

signed-me-again:

littlepinkbeast:

littlepinkbeast:

nehirose:

animatedamerican:

dialmformara:

agitatedtortoise:

animatedamerican:

so tonight I’m at synagogue, listening to the Purim Night reading of the Book of Esther, like you do

and near the end of this chapter my brain presents me with the following:

nooooo ooooone plots like Haman
calls the shots like Haman
plans a genocide by casting lots like Haman

(It only works with the Hebrew pronunciation of Haman, which, like Gaston, is accented on the second syllable.)

By the time we get home my brain has added:

for there’s none so well-favored and kingly
yes, we all can be certain of that
he’s so rich that his pockets are jingly
and he looks really sharp in a three-cornered hat

*face in hands*

Petition to sing this every year at Purim.

I shared this with my dad, and he added:

No one’s spruce as Haman,
Nor abstruse as Haman;
No one’s half as good tying a noose as Haman!
He’ll use gallows in all of his decorating!
No one else hangs as well as Haman!

niiiiice

i know several people who will definitely appreciate this.

this is beautiful

oh wait

When I was a lad I hatched four dozen plots
Every morning, to raise myself high…
And now that I’m grown I hatch five dozen plots
So all those who oppose me shall die!

@wetwareproblem

@smallswingshoes

This is the most brilliant thing I’ve read today

@words-writ-in-starlight

Okay, in a supreme effort to avoid something I should be doing, I’ve got all but three verses, I think (I started with the above, so credit where it is due, of course).

Gosh it enthralls me to see you Haman,
Looking so hated and hung.
Every guy here’d love to see you Haman,
On your petard being strung.
There’s none in Torah half the villain as you,
You’re everyone’s favorite brute.
Everyone loves to shake groggers at you,
there’s no one of such ill repute.

No one plots like Haman
Calls the shots like Haman
Plans a genocide by casting lots like Haman
For there’s none so well-favored and kingly
yes, we all can be certain of that
he’s so rich that his pockets are jingly
and he looks really sharp in a three-cornered hat.

No one’s told like Haman
Schooled the king like Haman
No one’s got a swell hat with three pins like Haman
As a specimen yes he’s intimidating.
My what a guy, that Haman!
Give five loud “boos!” And a great “hiss-hiss!”
Haman’s in the ground and we Jews drink to this!

When I was a lad I hatched four dozen plots
Every morning, to raise myself high…
And now that I’m grown I hatch five dozen plots
So all those who oppose me shall die!

No one’s spruce as Haman,
Nor abstruse as Haman;
No one’s half as good tying a noose as Haman!
He’ll use gallows in all of his decorating!
No one else hangs as well as Haman

dualdestinies:

pilenopilepile:

pilenopilepile:

Being up at 4-5 am is like loading in a level but the textures haven’t loaded all the way through yet.

i like this text post a lot because it’s a comparison between two extremely different styles of humor despite it, effectively, being the same joke

(Source: xcom2, via keeperofthehens)

chongoblog:

joewolf26:

chongoblog:

joewolf26:

chongoblog:

chongoblog:

I can’t believe that the two greatest party songs of all time (I Gotta Feeling and Party Rock Anthem) came out within two years of each other and mankind will never create a better party song

Some people have been defending various other party songs in the notes, and while I respect all of your opinions, the only song that can qualify as a POTENTIAL exception is Tik Tok by Ke$ha

What about Allstar, great for every occasion

All Star is, in my opinion, the Greatest Song of All Time™ and while it great for every occasion, the three above are the best suited for parties. Like rich chocolate is good for every dessert, but milk goes better with Oreos than more chocolate, ya know?

I was not ready for such an educated response but completely agree

I come prepared for this discourse

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

Reason #1537 scientists are the worst great:

There is a word meaning “the tendency of nature to try to evolve a crab.”  Someone noticed that a bunch of unrelated species independently arrived at “crab” as their destination, so clearly that is such a fabulous structural design that nature just occasionally looks at Thing With Shell and goes “ehhhhh fuck it, let’s make another crab.”  And that person decided that there needed to be a word for this very specific thing.  And thus: carcinisation.

Source

dalekteaservice:

radioactivepeasant:

On the topic of humans being everyone’s favorite Intergalactic versions  of Gonzo the Great:
Come on you guys, I’ve seen all the hilarious additions to my “humans are the friendly ones” post. We’re basically Steve Irwin meets Gonzo from the Muppets at this point. I love it. 

But what if certain species of aliens have Rules for dealing with humans?

• Don’t eat their food. If human food passes your lips/beak/membrane/other way of ingesting nutrients, you will never be satisfied with your ration bars again.
  
• Don’t tell them your name. Humans can find you again once they know your name and this can be either life-saving or the absolute worst thing that could happen to you, depending on whether or not they favor you. Better to be on the safe side.
• Winning a human’s favor will ensure that a great deal of luck is on your side, but if you anger them, they are wholly capable of wiping out everything you ever cared about. Do not anger them.
• If you must anger them, carry a cage of X’arvizian bloodflies with you, for they resemble Earth mo-skee-toes and the human will avoid them.
• This does not always work. Have a last will and testament ready.
• Do not let them take you anywhere on your planet that you cannot fly a ship from. Beings who are spirited away to the human kingdom of Aria Fiv-Ti Won rarely return, and those that do are never quite the same.

Basically, humans are like the Fair Folk to some aliens and half of them are scared to death and the others are like alien teenagers who are like “I dare you to ask a human to take you to Earth”.

We knew about the planet called Earth for centuries before we made contact with its indigenous species, of course. We spent decades studying them from afar.

The first researchers had to fight for years to even get a grant, of course. They kept getting laughed out of the halls. A T-Class Death World that had not only produced sapient life, but a Stage Two civilization? It was a joke, obviously. It had to be a joke.

And then it wasn’t. And we all stopped laughing. Instead, we got very, very nervous. 

Keep reading

not-fun:

jar0fstars:

badwolfcos:

radioactivemoose:

so for some reason hershey’s thinks that golden apples would be great to sell as valentine’s candy

so i got one and wrote this on top:

and left it on a table in the studio

less than five minutes later people were fighting about it

my plan has thus far been a success

Paris you little shit

And now we know Eris works for Hershey’s.

oh my god i love you brilliant nerds

(via skymurdock)