all the reviews for atomic blonde are like “its an empty aesthetic film where charlize theron just dresses up in nice clothes, kicks the shit out of dudes, and has random sex scenes with women” as if that wasn’t my dream action movie
Listen, I see and appreciate the hell out of the general
headcanon that Lance has ADHD, but I propose ADHD Keith? Like, hear me
out here. Fixated on aliens for his whole life, hyperfocused when he’s
flying (pros in battle: very hard to shake him up; cons in battle: he doesn’t
always react emotionally when or how he’s supposed to, which can be rough on
the others during a merge), prickly around most people but also v e r y attached to His People, and that specific combination
of “intense emotions that can burst out at unpredictable times”
and “extremely controlled emotions when under pressure” tbh all of it just
kind of reads ADHD to me. Possibly because I myself have ADHD and am
basically just like
this terrible sword boy. Especially the look on his face after he dumps a
massive amount of information about his aliens theory at the start of the first
episode–it just screams ‘fuck
fuck fuck someone please shut me up I can’t stop talking and I can feel you getting annoyed with me’ which, like, same.
Unrelatedly, I feel like Keith knows how to pickpocket people
and hotwire most vehicles. He knows how to knife fight and he lives in a
shack with no apparent form of income, and he definitely stole that hoverbike
in the first episode. He has some Weird Life Skills. At some point
I expect this to become pertinent in the show with Keith boosting a spaceship.
B: what I think is fucking
hilarious
Keith
scores a solid C in Emotions generally, but more specifically he just fucking sucks at noticing when someone’s interested in him. Like,
in terms of friendship and romance and/or sex, he just won’t notice. He
and Shiro were hanging out on the regular in their big brother/little brother
relationship for solidly eight months before Keith looked up from a book and
went “Wait, we’re friends” and Shiro was like “…yes?”
This is pertinent because
Lance, within Not Too Long, realizes that he’s actually pretty into Keith (he’s horrified, they are rivals, he can’t have a crush on Keith). Once Hunk and Pidge–mostly Hunk, because Lance burst
into the kitchen yelling ‘SOS’ and once they got him to explain, Pidge
laughed so hard they gave themself a black eye on a table corner–talk Lance
down off the ceiling, he spends a while waiting for his feelings to go away and
then goes back to hitting on Keith casually at every opportunity, but With
Intent this time. Keith, on the other hand, spends months being confused and distressed about the unidentifiable
physical sensations that being around Lance causes and that all translates straight into Prickly Mode. Two conversations that happen
within days of each other are:
> Lance telling Hunk,
entirely depressed, that he just really thinks Keith hates him? Like,
clearly he has no shot there. And Hunk is a good friend and they lie on
the floor while he listens to Lance go on at length about Keith.
> Shiro sitting Keith down
and asking what’s wrong and listening to Keith’s mildly panicky outburst about
how he DOES NOT UNDERSTAND what’s going on with him and he feels bad for
lashing out at Lance but he can’t??? Stop??? And Shiro is just
like “Oh my god Keith you’re into him, you’re fucking into him and people
on the other side of the star system know he’s into you, just fucking kiss him
and see what happens.”
No one is more confused than
Lance when Keith corners him alone and goes “I’m going to try something
and if it’s a disaster blame Shiro” and walks up to Lance like he’s a wild
animal and just. Fucking plants one on him.
Anyway, thesis
statement: Keith is a failure, and Lance is a disaster, and Shiro and Hunk
deserve plaques, and Pidge gets nothing because they believe that getting front
row seats to this mess is it’s own reward.
C: what is heart-crushing and
awful but fun to inflict on friends
Keith
has always wanted answers about the mysteries of the world, but not like this.
He has never been so bone-deep sickened as he is when he’s told that he’s
not human, he’s Galra,
he’s one of the monsters fighting to put the universe under a boot heel.
On that shuttle trip back to the Castle, Keith locks himself in the
bathroom and sits on the floor until he feels like he can open his mouth
without hyperventilating or vomiting or both, and Shiro has to coax him out.
“Come on, Keith,” Shiro
murmurs, once he’s gotten Keith to unlock the door. He wraps his flesh
and blood arm around Keith’s shoulders as a support, and Keith dimly thinks
about how Shiro tries to touch them with the Galra arm as rarely as possible.
He gets it, now. “Come on, Keith, let’s go. We should be at
the Castle soon, it’ll be okay.”
“No, I–no, I can’t,” Keith
says, digging in his heels. Shiro is easily strong enough to move him by
force, but he doesn’t, lets Keith press back against the wall again and makes a
soothing sound under his breath. “I can’t,” he says again.
“It’s okay, Keith,” Shiro
says, and his voice is low and soft and calm, soothing even though Keith
doesn’t care to be soothed right now. Something clutches hard in Keith’s
chest, and he hears a ragged keening sound as if down a long hallway, and it
takes him a moment to realize that it’s him. “The others will understand.”
“I–they’ll be so angry,” Keith
says blankly, clutching weakly at Shiro’s vest. “They’ll be right to be angry.” His stomach lurches
and he might throw up if he had anything left. “Allura will never speak
to me again.” He can see the look on her face already, the grief and
disgust and rage that twist over her face every time they face the Galra, and
he can’t see it directed at him, he can’t.
“They won’t be angry.
The princess will understand that you didn’t know, and you’re a part of
the team.” Shiro gives his shoulders a squeeze. “Come on, everyone
understood about me,” he says, clearly trying to be encouraging. “And
you’ve met the Blade, they’re good people. Our allies.”
Keith can feel tears burning
behind his eyes and clenches his teeth against them.
It takes Shiro another twenty
minutes to talk Keith out into the body of the shuttle, and another ten to get
him to walk out into the Castle dock.
D: what would never
work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
Keith finds Allura a few hours after his heritage comes to
light. She’s standing alone on the bridge, her hands folded behind her at
parade rest, and Keith finds her by accident on his quest to find somewhere to
stand alone himself.
“Hello, Keith,” she says
coolly as he stops dead in the doorway, apparently identifying him without
looking away from the starscape.
“Um,” he says, wishing that
he could curl up and die instead of having this horribly awkward interaction.
It takes a few tires before he can force another sentence through his
throat. “I can leave, I’m sorry.”
“The Castle is your home as
well,” she says, turning halfway to present her profile. “Do as you like.”
Keith hovers in the doorway,
frozen between the impulse to beg her to forgive him–please, please, he’s
sorry, he didn’t know–and
the impulse to run and never come back. Allura doesn’t say anything, and
the silence is tense and uncomfortable and he hates everything about it.
He’s kept his gloves on all night, because whenever he looks down he sees
himself scratching at his arms like he’s trying to peel his blood vessels out
of his body and Shiro had quietly recommended that he keep the gloves on so
that he doesn’t hurt himself.
“I’m sorry,” he blurts again.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know, that–I didn’t know. We don’t
have to, um.”
“Discuss it?” Allura
turns her back on him again, but this time her shoulders curve as if she wants
to curl up on the floor too, maybe. As if she wishes she wasn’t the last
of her kind–wiped out by his. God, Keith is a monster. “It is not
your fault, Keith,” she says, stiff and clipped, as if she’s trying to convince
herself. “And the Red Lion chose you. We are in a brief pause
between battles and we do not have time to have elaborate conversations about
the finer points of the Galra, so. I trust that you will not turn on us.
Everything else can wait.”
“Right,” Keith whispers.
The words should be reassuring. He feels more like he’s been
stabbed in the gut. “That’s good.”
After Shiro disappears, he
finds her on the bridge again, in almost exactly the same place.
“We must get him back,” she
says lowly.
“I know,” Keith says.
“We will.”
“Keith,” Allura says, and
this time when she half-turns to him, she beckons minutely, and he hesitantly
steps up beside her. “I’m sorry, for the way I’ve treated you,” she
whispers, looking away from him toward the stars. “You did nothing to
deserve it.”
“I feel like I did,” Keith
mutters.
“You had no hand in what
happened to Altea,” she says. “It may take me time to let go of my anger,
but.” She sets her shoulders, looking over at him, and offers a tiny
smile–the most genuine smile she’s directed at him since they found out.
“If you bring Shiro back to us–back to me–that will go far.”
Keith stares for a
moment, then allows a tiny smile of his own, and nods.
is it just me or is ‘just dont let it bother you’ possibly the worst advice ever given
It’s the absolute worst fucking advise. Stand up. Talk to them. Tell them to stop. And when that doesn’t work just do what @words-writ-in-starlight does and get the fists a swinging
HAHAHAHA OKAY SO I’m not gonna reblog the meta I just read because I get that everyone is entitled to their own opinions about who fictional characters are in love with even if I strenuously disagree with them and this was in no way directed at me and I don’t want to be an asshole, BUT ALSO just so we’re all aware:
the idea that James was not romantically in love with Miranda is, just. JUST. !!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU NOT SEE THE WAY HE LOOKED AT HER? DID YOU NOT SEE HIM COMMUNICATING WITH HER WITH BOOK-PRESENTS, DID YOU NOT SEE HIM SMILING AT HER LIKE SHE WAS LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD TO HIM (BECAUSE SHE WAS), DID YOU MISS ALL OF TOBY STEPHENS DOING THE ACTING. IT WAS SUCH GOOD ACTING. THE VERY IDEA. THAT HE ISN’T IN LOVE WITH HER. THAT HE LOVES HER LIKE A MOTHER (OH MY GOD, IT WAS A METAPHOR, I AM DYING, DREAM MIRANDA ALSO CALLED HERSELF HIS MISTRESS AND HIS WIFE, AUGH.) DID YOU NOT SEE HIM IN THAT VERY SAME DREAM SEQUENCE LOOK AT HER WITH ALL THE LOVE IN THE FUCKING WORLD ON HIS FACE AND MURMUR I’M RUINED OVER YOU. WHAT. THE FUCK. AND. the idea that James is gay and not bi and isn’t sexually interested in Miranda when footage of him giving Miranda that wolfish fucking grin in the carriage exists is so STUPENDOUSLY, WILFULLY, TREMENDOUSLY WRONG that I want to go scream like a banshee on the moors just to try to cope with the enormity of the degree to which it is wrong.
I get that the show is open to interpretation, and that it doesn’t label anybody’s sexuality because hey oscar wilde hadn’t gone to trial yet and so there were no labels for anybody’s sexuality, but, LIKE, OH MY GOD, if you don’t think James and Eleanor at the very fucking least are bisexual you are RECKLESSLY reading against the grain and this bitter bisexual actually does kind of hold it against you.
1. Name your politically correct ship that no one ever questions.
I really genuinely like Han/Leia because I am a sucker for the “I just really enjoy shouting at this person and get really furious when they risk their life suRELY THIS DOES NOT MEAN FEELINGS” thing and I feel like that’s…all of Hoth. The whole time. All of it.
Also, listen. I will die on the hill of The Damerons as a totally adoring, poly unit of heroes in which Rey sleeps with her back to the wall and her head on Finn’s chest and her fingers tangled with Poe’s, who gently traces the line of the callous on her thumb in his sleep, and Finn lies there and stares at the ceiling and wonders how the FUCK he got this lucky. (Because you deserve it, baby, you fucking deserve it.)
2. Now name your trash ship.
…I mean…Anakin is a trash can, so does Anakin/Padme qualify, or does Padme’s general quality everything lift them from the dumpster fire?
Although for real trash, you can’t do better than Rey/Phasma having really bitter angry hate sex. Before Rey figures herself out and marries her two husbands, of course.
3. And your really trashy I’m-going-to-Hell ship.
…do I have one of these? I don’t think I have–
oh no, yes I do, oh god I didn’t realize what the ship was for the fic but it was SO GOOD and I just.
Sith!Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan was not a ship I saw coming but F U C K.
It’s a really good fic okay, it sold me hardcore. It’s this series by @poplitealqueen. I should reread it because it’s been updated. I’ll go sit in a hole now.
(I just really like Sith Qui-Gon and also Darth Venge, who I don’t think shows up in this one but is a big player in Re-Entry, which is like. Yeah.)
okay how have I not seen a Lower Decks fic for BtVS in the literally TWENTY YEARS i have been reading fic for it
#the thing is #right #that they may not KNOW #but their hindbrain tells them she is a predator #the b i g g e s t predator #one with claws and teeth and the burning desire to protect those who cannot protect themselves #basically i’m saying buffy is a dragon #and her hoard is humanity via @andfullofterrors (x)
