Elrond’s like that one guy in all the movies and shit who’s just ‘don’t do the thing’ and everyone else is just ‘Shut the fuck up. What do you know?!’ and then later on it turns out they shouldn’t have done the thing..
Elrond would survive a horror movie
Damn straight.
Elrond has survived quite a few horror movies by now.
So I don’t know how it happened. I read Lord of the Rings and I was like “Legolas and Gimli, obviously, they literally sail off into the sunset together”, but I wasn’t especially hardcore on the subject, and then I talked with my mother about Legolas and Gimli (she’s shipped it since she was like eleven, so) and I was still kind of laid back about it.
And then one day I just fucking woke up and I was like “LEGOLAS AND GIMLI ARE MY NEWEST TO-THE-DEATH, RIDE-OR-DIE, YOU’LL-PRY-IT-FROM-MY-COLD-DEAD-HANDS SHIP” and like what the fuck, how did that transition happen.
…..relatedly, does anyone want to suggest any good blogs/fics?
let’s stop seeing sex as the biggest thing you can do to show someone you love them
everyone knows that the real way to show someone you love them is to find them a really cool rock. not a diamond. just a neat rock that you think they will enjoy
Not a rock THE ARKENSTONE
Why just one rock Why not three Why not the silmarils
Last time I got one of these I did 10 Interesting Facts About Tolkien. For this one, I thought it’d be fun to do random stories from the filming of the Peter Jackson LOTR movies. After watching all the DVD commentaries/documentaries a few more times than I care to admit, I’ve picked up a few fun stories. I linked as many youtube clips of the commentaries as I could find.
Alternative Title: 9 Times Someone Almost Died While Filming LOTR, and 1 Time Someone Was Smart Enough to Actually Prevent It
While shooting the battle at Helm’s Deep, Viggo Mortensen actually chipped a tooth. However, he refused to stop shooting and insisted that instead they simply glue the tooth back together until the scene was finished.
The location used to shoot the battle at the gates of Mordor during Return of the King was actually a land mine. Actors were warned to avoid digging into the ground or kicking anything to avoid hitting a bomb, and throughout the day they’d accidentally unearth rockets and landmines, which the army would then come and pick up.
In Two Towers, when Aragorn is floating down the river face-down, Viggo had to do the same thing (obviously.) However, he and the crew underestimated the strength of the current and eddies in the river, and combined with the heavy costume Viggo was wearing, he nearly drowned.
During Bilbo’s Birthday Party, when Merry and Pippin set off Gandalf’s giant firework, Peter Jackson didn’t warn Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd that the firework was actually going to explode. He told them only that it would spark and fizzle a bit. So when the firework did, in fact, explode, Billy’s shriek is quite genuine.
At the end of Fellowship, when Sam runs into the river after Frodo, Sean Astin accidentally stepped on a large shard of glass. His foot was bleeding pretty bad, so he had to be choppered to a hospital.
During the scene in Two Towers when Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli find the pile of orc carcases, and they believe that Merry and Pippin have been killed, Aragorn kicks one of the helmets down the hill. Peter Jackson wanted Viggo to aim the helmet as close to the camera as possible, and so Viggo did four takes with increasing accuracy. On the fifth take, the aim was great, and then Viggo let out this great scream and fell to his knees. Jackson was pretty impressed, and only found out later that, when kicking the helmet, Viggo had broken two of his toes. Despite that, it was the best take, and is actually the version that appears in the film.
During one of the scenes in Two Towers, Orlando Bloom and Gimli’s scale double Brett accidentally fell off their horse. Brett fell on top of Orlando, and Orlando cracked a rib. Luckily the injury wasn’t too serious, though the cast teased Orlando about all his complaining.
While filming the sequence in Two Towers of Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli chasing after the Uruk Hai (basically 10 minutes of all three of them running nonstop), Viggo had two broken toes, Orlando had a cracked rib, and Brett Beattie (Gimli’s scale double) had a dislocated knee, but they did the shots anyway. Such troopers.
While shooting the scene where the hobbits run down to the Buckleberry Ferry in Fellowship, Dominic Monaghan got a splinter in his foot. Yep, it really is that underwhelming. But they make it sound really funny.
During Two Towers, when Faramir has caught Frodo and Sam and Gollum, there’s a scene when Faramir uses his sword to lift the One Ring from under Frodo’s shirt. David Wenham, who plays Faramir, was worried that he might accidentally stab Elijah Wood, so he insisted that a trained swordsman come and do that scene. Thus making him probably the smartest guy on set.
wish fulfillment au where boromir lives through amon hen and since the ring has moved on his thoughts are clear and he’s just aragorn’s devoted right hand
and he and gimli bitch endlessly about the run across rohan because “i had THIS MANY ARROWS in my chest i want our hobbits back but CAN WE SLEEP” and he’s 5000% shitty to rohirrim who don’t respect aragorn and he and eowyn become rampaging bffs and he gets in on the body counting at helm’s deep (“ARAGORN I’M BEHIND I’M GOING TO THE DOOR” “YOU ARE NOT GET BACK HERE”) and he and treebeard become instant kin because mi hobbit es su hobbit and he goes through the dimholt pass with aragorn and hates every single second of it but is unfailingly by his side through all of it
and then gets to minas tirith and reunites with faramir and finds out pippin is a guard of the citadel and has to go lock himself in a room and laugh for hours
also that whole tale of aragorn and arwen thing where he saw her in the woods at twenty and fell instantly in love and it’s very beren and luthien? lies.
aragorn decided he was going to marry arwen when he was like, six.
and everyone thought it was just the cutest thing, baby estel with his little crush on the great immortal evenstar, and everyone would tease him about it relentlessly and he would get so mad, and pout, because how dare they doubt his word.
(arwen spent a lot of time biting back smiles and nodding very seriously when aragorn brings this up with her. no, estel, I do not know why they are laughing perhaps they have remembered a particularly funny joke.)
and then aragorn grows into this gangly teen and oh my god can you imagine being a pimply greasy teenager around fucking elves it’s a wonder he has any self-image left. His voice breaks every other word and the laundresses are beginning to wonder if something is wrong with the sheets because estel keeps washing them himself and aragorn wants to die, god, arwen is never going to marry him if he stays all elbows and skinny knees and he can’t even look her in the eye anymore without blushing, eye contact is probably something to look for in a husband–
(arwen, who never had to go through puberty because elves don’t do anything so undignified, tries to comfort him by saying she likes his blemishes. aragorn gives her a look of such utter, miserable despair that she starts laughing.)
(this is a mistake. he spends the next three weeks nursing his wounded ego and refusing to see her.)
estel is twenty when he asks for her hand. he is lean, slender and fair as a new tree, and so arwen does not feel guilt in kissing his cheek and gently refusing. he is still green, he will weather greater storms than this–and he takes it as he should, clasping her hand and swearing to ever be her loyal friend.
they write to each other–when she is in lorien, when he wanders with the rangers of the north, fights alongside gondor, travels to distant lands. it is an inconstant tie–he is rarely afforded time enough to put pen to paper; she is reserved so as not to encourage what may not be. (she signs her letters always, your friend. She likes him too well to be cruel in this.)
the years pass. his weariness and strife creeps onto the page, and she sends him tokens to fend off the darkness–leaves from lothlorien, the ribbon from her hair, snippets of poems. it is not enough it is never enough I am sorry, she writes.
his reply is gentle: you are enough. do not stop writing.
(she carries that letter tucked inside her sleeve for a long while, like a talisman–though against what evil, she does not know.)
she is in the house of her grandmother when a familiar voice calls out to her: my lady luthien!
this is when arwen looks up, sees aragorn–broad of chest and rugged, still wearing his battered mail, with one hand balanced lazily on the pommel of his sword. All the trees of caras galadhon are gold but he is shadow and silver, kingliness resting lightly on his shoulders–
